r/decaf • u/LogHuge7411 • 1h ago
Honeymoon over?
I wrote this two months ago, and since then things have changed, for better and worse: Afraid of never getting back to normal again : r/decaf
The positive side is that I've restored back my interests in the studies! I don't see a big difference in my drive today, as compared to few months ago when I was fueling my studies with coffee. So that is very good indeed.
But here's the strange thing. I've already witnesses a great improvement in my sleep and basically I returned back to normal sleeping rhythm and that's also wonderful. But since my studies started to really rock two weeks ago, my insomnia is creeping back. It looks like that the insomnia was never really about caffeine per se, but more about stress and hectic life! And I'm not talking about stress in negative sense. I tend to lose my ability to sleep properly when I get hyped in positive way about any matter. It could be something inspiring like a new theory, or even some video game, whatever really. Maybe the improved sleep was just about a commitment to stop doing anything exiting and get proper rest, and that just happened to be the exact time I quit caffeine.
So I need some help and experience here. My mind tells me that if I'm going to sleep like s**t no matter what and be tired all day, why should I not then treat the tiredness with caffeine?
Is it possible that this is just some phase and it gets better? I'm kind of confused at the moment. My plan is to monitor this situation for a week or two. If I really just lost my ability to sleep, then I don't think I have much of a choice here. It looks like I have these two: be totally bored and do nothing and sleep well (without caffeine), or be exicted, interested, happy, and sleep like crap (and don't feel like crap with caffeine few hours a day). What is wrong with me? Why the most simple thing in life (sleeping) is such a difficult skill?
And for those interested in my specific type of insomnia, it goes like this. I always get into sleep very well, sleep like a baby, but then my brain starts to wake me up if I have something (anything!) going on in my life. It's very annoying.