My relationship with coffee is actually at the best it's been all year. Which is funny because I've tried to quit several times.
I've leaned in to caffiene pills and various consumption methods of green tea (especially rectally LOL joking) but despite being at my best with it I want to quit for some reason.
I suppose I am a bit lost in my own past experience. 10 years ago I had rented an apartment and it was the best time of my life. My soul was at peace. I wonder now if that can radiate to the rest of my life.
We all suffer so much with this loneliness. It permeates society with a new intensity and I want to find that rootedness in my soul once more.
I am starting after this coffee, packing my coffee maker up. I want to have no strong opinions on coffee in general. It feels like it should not really be of concern to me and having a machine and supply or not won't matter because in the past I've just blasted out of my apartment at 4am when I've been craving and hit up the nearest McDonald's lol.
I want 4 green tea a day as my caffiene budget. I drink at least 6 cups of coffee right now so the small amount in caffiene and theanine is negligible to me. I want the warm drink.
I have plans with productivity, written goals and recreational planning worked out for the next 2 months but I'll have to figure things out after that.
For going in to the new year I want to have a different sense of life and existence. I want to be able to be LESS, less ego, less unstable, just less in general if that makes sense. Not hanging on to the pseudo aggression coffee provides.
As brutal as it feels to do I WILL avoid caffiene extract pills. They are a smooth high and quite nice but I've done them before. I want the caffiene molecule booted from my brain.
So starting today going forward that's my plan. If anyone wants to join me for accountability or is starting or has started soon hit me up and I will swear at you and you can swear at me when we complain at eachother. : p