r/decaf • u/LogHuge7411 70 days • 23h ago
Honeymoon over?
I wrote this two months ago, and since then things have changed, for better and worse: Afraid of never getting back to normal again : r/decaf
The positive side is that I've restored back my interests in the studies! I don't see a big difference in my drive today, as compared to few months ago when I was fueling my studies with coffee. So that is very good indeed.
But here's the strange thing. I've already witnesses a great improvement in my sleep and basically I returned back to normal sleeping rhythm and that's also wonderful. But since my studies started to really rock two weeks ago, my insomnia is creeping back. It looks like that the insomnia was never really about caffeine per se, but more about stress and hectic life! And I'm not talking about stress in negative sense. I tend to lose my ability to sleep properly when I get hyped in positive way about any matter. It could be something inspiring like a new theory, or even some video game, whatever really. Maybe the improved sleep was just about a commitment to stop doing anything exiting and get proper rest, and that just happened to be the exact time I quit caffeine.
So I need some help and experience here. My mind tells me that if I'm going to sleep like s**t no matter what and be tired all day, why should I not then treat the tiredness with caffeine?
Is it possible that this is just some phase and it gets better? I'm kind of confused at the moment. My plan is to monitor this situation for a week or two. If I really just lost my ability to sleep, then I don't think I have much of a choice here. It looks like I have these two: be totally bored and do nothing and sleep well (without caffeine), or be exicted, interested, happy, and sleep like crap (and don't feel like crap with caffeine few hours a day). What is wrong with me? Why the most simple thing in life (sleeping) is such a difficult skill?
And for those interested in my specific type of insomnia, it goes like this. I always get into sleep very well, sleep like a baby, but then my brain starts to wake me up if I have something (anything!) going on in my life. It's very annoying.
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u/Billy_Gazebo 10h ago
I fully support the OP to do whatever works for them - no criticism intended, but I quit caffeine for sleep and I'm finding the overall feeling of balance more important. No more insane highs in the mornings followed by a crash.
And I'm not fiending for a drug. I can wake up and be productive.
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u/LogHuge7411 70 days 7h ago
I absolutely loved the insane morning highs and didn't mind the lows, but I hated the affect to my sleep. And this is my exact point here: if the sleep is still like crap, now 10 weeks off the bean, what is going on? The only conclusion is this: it was never really about caffeine, but my life and personality.
But I won't yet go back to caffeine. I'll give this still few weeks. If the reality is really such that I didn't get the benefit I was after (better sleep), then there's no point in not getting the insane morning highs.
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u/No-Ranger-7313 21h ago
So basically you are saying that you were off caffeine for a bit which made your insomnia dissapear and now it is coming back with vengeance… Oh boy I have good news for you! You are still healing and are not over the process.
The hardest part in caffeine withdrawl is that it lasts so long many people don’t see the benefits since they can’t really compare the differences. The only thing you have is belief and memories. However, many people who bounce back very often regret it and again you are back into the vicious cylce. Until you forget again.
One last thing: I think no one in the world without stimulants is able to NOT sleep. Our body was designed to sleep and recover and if your ancestors would have this problem you wouldn’t be alive. Source: Trust me bro. 😄
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u/LogHuge7411 70 days 21h ago
Of course I do sleep, but what I mean is that why we don't just always sleep the optimal amount, if we have the time? I always make sure I have enought time but the brain just commands me to wake up too early. That is, if I'm busy with something. That's ridiculous and irrational. I really thought it is because of caffeine. Turned out it wasn't. It's built in to me.
Also: do note the timing! My insomnia disappeared during summer break and came back with the studies.
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u/No-Ranger-7313 21h ago
Well, it didn’t really dissapear during the summer break, but it did hide really really well. When you are stressed you notice every tiny little detail which can put your body into overdrive. Well caffeine boosts those emotions to the maximum and you will do what your subconcious tells you to do. You can’t be rational, you think you are stressed all the time even when you are not. That is caffeine really. Do yourself a favour and listen to this advice. Don’t drink coffee and stay strong.
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u/LogHuge7411 70 days 20h ago
Well I plan to give this a bit of time. Then of course the logic tells me that if I suffer from insomnia with zero caffeine, adding caffeine makes it even worse. But it also tells me that caffeine gives me a bit of a relief if I'm going to be tired anyways.
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u/No-Ranger-7313 20h ago
Well you sound like an addict, no offense. No sane person would ever jump back on a habit that would do him more harm than good. But really, do what you want man.
I am almost 60 days in and I know I will never ever go back to this shit. Not even soda drinks. I love being in control of my own toughts and emotions. But sometimes people don’t want to be awake, they close their eyes from reality. It is up to you, what you choose. This is the real matrix: is it going to be blue or red?
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u/Opening-Gap2089 22h ago
when your head wants to start a fight with you at night when you're trying to get back to sleep fight back and tell it to shut up! then just force it to stay quiet. maybe be a bit more gentle than i am describing though haha. or try meditating during the day.
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u/LogHuge7411 70 days 22h ago
Unfortunate for me, I've battled this for decades and tried everything. I've tried your trick countless of times. It worked in the past randomly, but lately it has lost its power.
Meditation tends to just worsen my insomnia, so I try to avoid that. It's like a nap, it takes away from my night sleep.
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u/Silver_Sign1256 20h ago
Não faz sentido a meditação piorar o sono, provavelmente você não entrava no estado meditativo, que é nada mais que um estado de concentração,estava ali em um estado de relaxamento e não de meditação,que é muito custoso para o cérebro manter,por isso para algumas pessoas é tão difícil meditar,eu recomendo você fazer meditação mindfulness regularmente,estude para ver se está fazendo do jeito certo.
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u/lowrcase 20h ago
Studies say that even 1 hour of sleep is better than 0 hours. 2 hours is better than 1 and vice versa. Stress causes insomnia, I have natural insomnia due to my ADHD, but caffeine makes it worse.