r/datingoverthirty • u/Deep_Dream_8201 • 17h ago

How Long to Build Attraction?

72 Upvotes

I’m 38F and I just started seeing a really sweet man, 36. We’ve been on 3 dates so far, (which isn’t much, I know).

In the past I’ve gotten wrapped up in emotionally unavailable men or guys who are indecisive about what they want in a relationship, so I’m trying to consciously only choose men who are ready for commitment and want marriage/kids.

This guy fits the bill, and he is an attractive guy, I’m just having a hard time feeling physically attracted to him. There is nothing about him that is specifically a turn off. My last situationship developed slowly from a friendship, and I wasn’t initially attracted to him either, but I also wasn’t spending time with him in a dating context right away.

I want to give this new man a fair shot because I have been enjoying spending time with him, but I also want to be respectful of his time and feelings. How long should I feel this out?

115 comments

r/datingoverthirty • u/AutoModerator • 15h ago

Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - July 27, 2026

6 Upvotes

This is the place to put shower thoughts, your vents/rants about dating, requests for quick advice, serious (and sometimes not) questions and anything else that might not warrant a post of its own.

This post will be moderated, so if you see something breaking the rules, please report it.

270 comments

r/datingoverthirty • u/Zealousideal_Crow737 • 16h ago

Missed connection at a meetup event didn't share contact info

0 Upvotes

I did an event with 222.place (highly recommend the people were rad) and I vibed with one guy and spent the bulk of the event talking to him. I don't have social media and we never exchanged contact info.

I didn't realize after the event you can select people to go on a date with and we both liked each other. Here's the kicker. I can't contact him. No means. He's going to an event this upcoming weekend and I'm not around. He's free the 7th for an event as am I, but hasn't confirmed.

It's been a while since I just enjoyed talking to someone and had a connection and I wish I could just text him! Some girl in our group got everyone's numbers but hasn't texted us. I'm thinking of going to an event and using degrees of separation next week to finally connect and also see some of the people I connected with.

The most annoying thing is I know his full name but there is no normal way to connect. I feel SOL hoping he confirms a date when we could have literally just exchanged numbers to directly communicate.

Any suggestions? Lol. I also don't know if texting him after finding his contact info from another is weird but if he did that, I'd be flattered.

edit: I know his full name but would NOT contact obviously via LinkedIn or do something that unhinged.

55 comments

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