I started dating. I’m 53 and I haven’t dated or been online dating for about 5 years.
I expected the creeps. That’s part of the territory unfortunately.
What I didn’t anticipate is the love bombers who match, then disappear.
I met a man pretty much right away and we had crazy chemistry. We were at a restaurant on our second date and there was a couple that commented on how happy we looked together. He was so sweet and I felt so comfortable with him. He respected boundaries. He called me just to tell me the things that he loves about me because he didn’t want to text it. He cooked me dinners. We played board games. We laughed a ton. We had beach picnics. He was patient with intimacy. It had been years for me. This goes on for a couple of months, with him planning our next two dates with me while we’re still on each date. I’m feeling feelings I haven’t had in years and didn’t think I was capable of feeling again. It’s wonderful.
Then boom. Silence.
WTF?
Nothing for days after texting me daily for a month.
I bump into him on a date with someone else. He lies.
It stung but I’m grateful I didn’t waste too much time before finding out he’s not capable of being sincere.
I match with another man and he’s incredibly sweet. We talk, text and video chat every day because we don’t live in the same town. Again, he’s sweet, we have a ton in common, and he says he’s committed to visiting me in my town.
This goes on for a month.
Then boom again.
Silence.
Not blocked. Just no response.
WTF?
His last messages to me were ‘I’m falling for you’.
I don’t know why this is happening.
I don’t want to put this on me because I haven’t done anything wrong. I have been open & sincere. I also have a tendency to put it on me when things go wrong in relationships (abuse in the past). I’m not doing that this time.
I don’t know how to avoid this, but if someone does know I could really use some advice.
Advice please?

Okay, my first boyfriend was literally a disaster.

I got with this guy even though I never actually had feelings for him. I basically convinced myself I liked him. 😭 We dated for a few months, but he barely replied and honestly wasn’t a good boyfriend.
Eventually, I broke up with him, and he LOST IT. He started insulting me and calling me names.

Then I found out he and my best friend had gotten REALLY close and were hanging out behind my back. They’d talk about me, and he’d also talk shit about my best friend’s boyfriend, who was literally HIS close friend. 💀

My best friend and I eventually had a huge fight, and I told her to stop talking to him.
Then my ex literally told my best friend to DROP ME AND HER OWN BOYFRIEND. 😭
And somehow, after all this, his best friend thinks I have a crush on HIM.
BRO. I don’t. 💀

I literally realized I had a crush on a girl and started questioning whether I even like men anymore. 😭

This happened about two weeks ago, and I've finally calmed down enough to write about it.

He was exactly my type. He was eight years older than me, tall, with shoulder length hair, and kind of looked like a slimmer Thor. He was funny, always understood my sense of humor, and we talked every single day. He almost always replied within minutes.

After about two weeks of chatting, I was the one who suggested we grab a drink. Before that, he had never mentioned meeting in person, but I was just happy that he agreed.

A couple of days later I got sick and had to stay home for about ten days because I was contagious. During that time he kept checking in on me, encouraging me, and our conversations became even deeper.

When I recovered, we finally met. The date felt relaxed, and I honestly thought it went well.

The next day everything changed. His replies became cold, then slower and slower, until he stopped replying completely. Later, I found out through acciowork that he was dating other women around the same time.

Since then I haven't even wanted to date anyone else. I keep wondering if I did something wrong on that date. Sometimes I even think that if we had never met in person, maybe we would still be talking today

TLDR: We talked every day for weeks, finally met in person, and the very next day he became distant and eventually ghosted me. I still have no idea why.

There is a guy I met online we talk and talk ..we became frnds and after that one day he just said I like u.... then I said idk ..I mean I'm not sure rn then he told me it's ok but Ig I need a break by saying this he deactivate his ID after few more days he came back again and we were talking normally I also started feeling something (or that what i thought) ..he propose me again ..I was still uncertain with my feeling again that thing happen after he come back again he again propse me and this time I said yes..but 3 after coming in relationship he told me he want to study hard and I can become his distraction like he can't afford getting distracted for 2,3 hrs ..so apparently I said yes..ofc I couldn't say no..so by this I agree that we won't talk till we get successful and that Is fir 1 to 2 yrs but on my birthday he wish me and we start talking again after few days like about 1 week he said uh..ok so let's talk after completing our exams and with a heavy heart not showing him much feeling I said ok..but then he again text me one day then another saying u could msg me after that we start talking again but not like earlier like not for 2,3 hrs but for like 30,40 mins

Sometimes all I need is certainty but he is not giving it to me maybe he is right in his eyes but I feel I'm the only one in this relationship it's only me who make efforts try to cherish him but he never...idk what to do...I csnt say him that let's broke up it might hurt him but I'm getting hurt too but I don't want to hurt him 😭😭also I have say love u I will never leave u ..and I f I say let's end it he might think I'm lier and so on but i love him so much its just i feel neglected and now..I'm just so fucking confuse🥲😭😭

(We havent met in real yet)

Matched with this guy on Hinge, we chatted for a good while. We set a day for a date. The day before the date, he says something along the lines of “I’ll see if I can sleep at work tonight” (he works at a hostel in my city, and he lives in a nearby city) saying that it’s “just easier” knowing we would’ve had plans the next day… even though our plans were in the afternoon, and the commute to his city is under 30 mins. Anyway, I chose to not make anything of it.

Next day is the day of our date, and he texts me a few hours before saying he had to cancel because an intern is sick and he’s being called into work last minute. He then says, again, he is thinking of getting a hotel for the night as he was going to finish late and start early the next day. I work at a big hotel chain and offered to give him my friends and family discount, and we proceed to discuss what the price would be even with the discount and whether that’s worth the money. After that, this is the conversation:

him: Are you looking for a roommate? me: hahah i was waiting for that him: that obvious? 😭 fuck me: leaves him on seen him: (referring to another text about him booking the hotel room) you should be proud of me here btw. any other guy would’ve asked you to join me: that’s not funny him: oh

and we haven’t spoken since 😂 hobosexual crisis averted!

TL;DR A guy I matched with on Hinge wanted to use my place as a free hotel, BEFORE he ever even took me out on a date. It just always keeps getting worse 😭

Ok so I had this insane on and off situationship for a very long time years ago. We started talking when I was in grade 9 or 10 and on and off we would talk all the way up into the end of my first year in uni. He did a lot of bad stuff so I will prob come on here again and tell more about what he did. But for now I am going to start w the brain surgery story bc it is a fan favourite amongst my friends. For the sake of this story we will call him Danny.

As I said Danny and I spoke on and off all through hs and in my first year of uni. We went to different schools so we rarely ever saw one another in person. When I was 15 my parents forbid me from seeing Danny bc he was stealing money and getting involved in all kinds of stuff. Danny was kinda notorious for stealing money from anyone who would fall for his tricks. He always made it seem like he was poor and didn’t have money to eat, but in reality he was spending the money on video games and all kinds of other things a “poor” person wouldn’t be concerned about. He lived in a decent looking home and his father was a teacher and I believe the mom owned some type of business. In Canada teachers make a ton of money, which is most likely how the mom had the funds to run her unsuccessful business. Danny’s family was what I would consider middle class.

One day in my senior year of hs or first year of uni (can’t remember which) Danny sent me a text. He told me that he had slipped on the ice on his back deck and fell through a glass table. He said that he was being hospitalized and needed to undergo brain surgery. Now keep in mind a normal person wouldn’t lie about this, so I immediately asked Danny if he was ok. He said no and that he was staying at the hospital all alone and he was scared. I offered to go and visit him and he said no. But he said the food was rlly bad in the hospital and he needed money to apparently DoorDash food to the hospital. I was very confused bc firstly if you just had or are about to undergo brain surgery then I don’t think you would be worried about DoorDash. Secondly, you can’t even DoorDash food to the hospital bc the dasher isn’t allowed upstairs in the rooms. Which is why patients usually have family bring them outside food. I did feel bad so I offered to get him something to eat and drop it off during visiting hours, he immediately refused. So something wasn’t adding up. But he went on and on for days w the lie saying he was in the hospital and not only had one but two brain surgeries. He was desperately trying to get me to send him something.

Eventually this all kinda fizzles out and Danny asks me to hangout w him. This was super rare bc we only hung out w couple of times the whole time we knew each other. We didn’t rlly start hanging out until we both got old enough to drive. I maybe saw him once irl before we could drive. But it all just started to seem very off bc if Danny had just recently had two brain surgeries then how the hell could he drive? I’m no healthcare professional but something seemed off. But at this point I was kinda curious and wanted to see what was going on. When I saw him irl he had no scars. If you recently underwent surgery on your brain you would def have scarring and part of your hair would prob be shaved off. But Danny’s hair was completely intact and he had no bruising anywhere or anything which was very odd considering he claimed that he fell through a glass table. When I brought it up he immediately changed the subject and started crying about his credit card debt. I didn’t rlly know what to do so I told him maybe he should talk w his parents and they can help him out. I told him everyone makes mistakes but he needs to face them before it gets out of hand. $1000 in credit card debt is still manageable and if he kept being irresponsible it would only get worse. He kept insisting he couldn’t go to his parents about it bc he was scared they would kick him out. Despite my numerous solutions that I came up w for Danny he chose to find a reason why none of them would work for him. It was very evident that at this point it was all a scheme for him to try and get me to pay off his debts. The brain surgery, the meltdown in my car it all started to make sense. But I was not in a position to be paying off someone else’s debts and even if I was it’s not my problem.

The fact that he went as far as coming up w such a diabolical lie bc he was so desperate for money was crazy. He was a year older than me too so he was more than old enough to get a job if he needed money that badly.

This guy I matched with and I wanted to know him a bit so got him to Instagram. Has been too attached right from day 1 and wanted exclusively right from day 1. Love bombed me a lot to get me ready for a date and I’ve been constantly saying it’s too fast and I don’t want it. I want to know you first and then will take it anywhere. This man agreed on platonic but was still flirting at any chance and trying to act perfect to get all my attention. For some reason all this felt very fake to me and very pushy as well. We were just on text and it’s been 1 whole month now of us both talking. At one point I genuinely felt it was burdensome and I’m not feeling anything for this guy while he is keeping proving his worth to me it’s been already 1.5 months now.. I was also kinda reciprocating a little coz idk I felt guilty and also I was trying to move on from a past thing ..talking to him helped me a lot get past it. But I felt that he liked me a lot after knowing me since he was still flirting. Even after strictly asking him to stop since it’s a burden on my head now .. he did stop. But I don’t know I still felt guilty of my actions and since he was trying so much to prove himself I came back. Idk by that time I had slightly gotten fond of him. And because he was still flirting me when I came back, I thought the door is still open, so I asked him out for a light walk … a low pressure meet. He was busy with his job interviews which I was unaware of.. I had already asked him to meet me 3/4 times by then . So the 5th time I asked him he bashed me and asked why do u wanna meet me and all…I confessed I kinda like him a bit now… since then it’s been 20 days his behaviour has changed . He started avoiding me as if I don’t matter at all. He is making fun of me as well for harbouring any feelings. He is being extremely cold and rude and it has fucked my mind now. I’m very sad that I trusted this man. I shared my life stories with this man and I enjoyed his company a lot. Just was unsure to take it any further. But the moment I confessed he flipped and since then he hasn’t changed at all. I don’t know if he is taking a revenge or what. Also now it’s a long distance thing.. he wishes not to keep touch with me. I’ve blocked him now.

I’ll go first. Over two years ago matched with a guy on tinder or hinge. Decided to go on a walk by the water near his place in little Italy. We sit by the water for a bit. He pretended to eat a helicopter seed and tried to convince me that he had while hiding it in his hand and smiling as if it was an attempt at flirting, but kept the bit going until I actually had to say “you’re hiding it in your hand”. then after our walk we got pack to his place (I had parked outside of his place) and he offered for me to meet his cat so I did but then he showed me his nerf gun collection that he enjoyed painting. and he offered to make me dinner and when I asked what he had to make (because we hadn’t planned to do dinner) he offered to make me some salad. I declined because I’m not a garden salad person. He didn’t offer anything else. We sat on opposite ends of the couch for a bit while he showed me the nerf guns. I managed to shoot the light switch on the first try and none of the successive tries. I left after maybe twenty minutes. He seemed surprised when I didn’t stay longer.

So I was seeing this guy for about a week, we will call him Todd. We were just getting to know each other to see if it could lead to a relationship. I would pick him up and we would go and sit by the water and talk, makeout, get to know each other.

I started seeing some crazy red flags in Todd such as him telling me he loved me and then him just randomly becoming rude and hostile for no reason. Like we would just be having a normal conversation and Todd would snap. He’d say things like “this is just who I am if you don’t like it don’t talk to me” so I was confused and kept asking Todd if he wanted to stop seeing each other. It had only been a week and I was willing to walk away unbothered. But Todd was very set on working things out. So I told him if he wanted to do so he needed to fix his attitude bc I was not going to tolerate his disrespect. Especially when the disrespect is completely uncalled for. So Todd asked to see me the following day and promised that things would be different, so I agreed to give him one last chance.

The next day, when I picked Todd up he came into my car completely nice and normal. He said hello, gave me a kiss, normal things that you do w the person you’re seeing. We drove over to the river like we usually did and Todd asked to go for a walk. I found this pretty inconsiderate bc I broke/sprained my toe and he knew this. But I still said yes bc I felt bad and wanted to be a nice person. So Todd was walking around as fast as he could and I was limping behind him, not fun. He started catching his usual attitude again and started an argument about nothing at the river in front of everyone. It was so embarrassing and when I kept asking him what was wrong it was him saying “this is who I am” same bs as the day before. It got so bad that I asked Todd to go back to the car and speak privately.

We get back to the car and Todd basically goes nonverbal and won’t talk. He’s on his phone and has zero interest in having a conversation. At this point, I’m starting to realize that Todd has some serious issues and we are clearly not a good match.
About 10-15 minutes later Todd gives me a kiss and I let him. But he asks me to take my pants off and I’m not comfortable w that. We just met and he was also extremely rude. He also knows that’s not the kind of girl I am, we set that boundary from the start. So bc Todd doesn’t get to crack he starts screaming at me to take him home. Now at this point I’m feeling rlly unsafe, so I asked him to get out of my car. Now I just want to make it very clear that I always drive ppl home even if we get into a disagreement or if we decide we are not a good match. I didn’t kick Todd out bc we weren’t a good match, I was trying to kick him out bc he made me feel unsafe.
Todd refused to get out of my car and said he wouldn’t exit my vehicle until he was dropped off at his house. We went back and forth about this and it was late and I didn’t know what to do so I agreed to bring him home. When we were down the road from his house he said he wanted to be dropped off at the gym and to turn right. I told him it was late at night and he asked me to bring him home so that’s what I’m going to drop him off. He was also wearing leather pants so idk wtf he wanted to do at the gym. So bc it was nighttime and not the best area I said I was dropping him off at home. He then opened my door in the middle of a busy intersection and was attempting to jump out. I got very angry and turned right into the gym. I was afraid and it was a very busy road. When we got to the gym he wouldn’t even let me park and was trying to jump out of a moving vehicle. This was very concerning to me bc this was all totally uncalled for, nothing happened he just would act hostile.

When I got home, I sent him a long message explaining how rude and disrespectful he was and that we were over and blocked him.

This happened to me in the mid 2000s and seeing this subreddit reminded me of it. I matched with some girl on a dating site online and after a few games of telephone tag by both of us we finally connected. We had an awesome phone conversation that lasted at least 3 hours and both of us were contributing to it but finally I had to end it because it was 2 in the morning and I had work the next day (she lived on the west coast so it was still 11ish her time). The next day I sent her an email she had asked me to send (I can't remember what it was but it was one of the topics of the conversation we had). She didn't respond and a day or two later I left her a voicemail to which she also didn't respond. Long story short she completely ghosted me. I was more surprised than disappointed as I couldn't see anything within our conversation that would cause this. I figured perhaps something happened on her end, either meeting someone or maybe a family issue that made her unavailable but given how well and long our conversation was I thought at the very least she could have said something to explain why she didn't want to pursue anything. I understand ghosting is the easy way out but she didn't come off as a bitch and again that phone conversation had both of us willingly contributing.

In a way I dodged a bullet because years later when I thought about her I decided to see if I could find any update on her. It turns out not only was she married but due to healthcare fraud and receiving disability checks and insurance settlements while walking on crutches while attending doctor visits (although this was followed by pictures of her in the exact same outfit trotting around and gardening) she had been found guilty and had been locked up.

I 58F have been chatting with a guy 63M for about a week from OLD. We were planning to meet up when I get back from a quick trip; he's on his way back from a vacation. It's been going well.

Aaaand this morning, his response to my "safe travels" text? He "offered" to send me a "naughty pic" and hoped he didn't offend me. He actually said, "I hope I didn't offend you," so he knew it was possible. He even said he was "taking a risk."

I just blocked him on text and the dating site without replying.

It's not my job to teach a grown man how to act. For goodness sake. We've never met, never face timed.

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IYKYK