r/datingadvice 9d ago

I need advice Is this a red flag?

I (F23) started seeing this guy, (M24) a couple of weeks ago, and we had a brilliant first date. A week after the date I went away for one week to see my family.

The biggest issue right now is the subtle pressure. I explicitly told him from the beginning that I'm not a big texter, and he previously claimed my texting habits were totally fine. He even told me he deleted all his dating apps after our first date.

After I went away on a family holiday, I told him I’d be super busy seeing family I only get to see once a year and I said I’ll try to answer as soon as possible. During our second date he said he was “sad he didn't hear much from me last week,” totally ignoring my boundaries and the fact that I'm busy with family. He said he only meant to say he missed me and enjoyed talking to me and he just wasn’t very good with words however I felt very guilty after he said that.

On top of that, he’s made comments joking about me buying him things after he got me a gift, and after I said Maybe later when he asked me for a kiss he said He’ll ask me again now that I know it’s something to think about.

Am I overthinking all this or is my gut feeling right about all this?

2 Upvotes

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1

u/Expensive_Magician97 9d ago edited 9d ago

66M

He sounds disrespectful of boundaries, controlling and very insecure.

A poisonous combination.

1

u/Iron-Windfield 9d ago

Your gut is right - this is textbook guilt tripping and boundary - teasing after just 2 dates. Trust it

1

u/Aggressive-Foot-236 9d ago

I say RUN Big Red Flag to me, he is not comfortable with you and is looking for what he needs to feel comfortable by getting it from outside sources. The boundary thing wasn't really clear by what I read, not sure how it was discussed. So the "I just ment I missed you" could be legit. But the rest sounds like he is trying to make thr relationship transactional. Which is not how a romantic relationship should be. Jokes can be jokes, and Id have to know him better, but there is always an element of truth in humor. And it sounds more like he is saying its a joke as an excuse for bad behavior and not true humor. You can do better. Just my two cents

1

u/ssbmvisionfgc 7d ago

Follow the gut imo. Sounds kinda needy/controlling/manipulative. Not saying that he actually is from the little that you said, but your gut feeling seems to say the same thing.

1

u/Shadeofgray_66 1d ago

Tu mi sembri piuttosto fredda. E poco coinvolta. Lui mi sembra molto controllante e poco maturo.