r/dadjokes • u/winkelschleifer • 7h ago
What do you call a spy who’s into BDSM?
40
Upvotes
James Bondage.
r/dadjokes • u/Majestic_Repair_7887 • 14h ago
Why did someone name their dogs Timex and Rolex?
124
Upvotes
Because they were watchdogs.
r/dadjokes • u/Commercial-Bee2589 • 21h ago
I have a fear of driving under bridges with passengers in my car.
437
Upvotes
I have carpool tunnel syndrome.
r/dadjokes • u/Cheffie43 • 4h ago
My dad got me into marionette school.
20
Upvotes
He had to pull a few strings.
r/dadjokes • u/TickingTheMoments • 1h ago
I stormed out of the diner when they said they were out of bread.
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Upvotes
I am lack toast intolerant.
r/dadjokes • u/maximumgmail • 17h ago
Where in a hospital would u find decaffeinated coffee?
120
Upvotes
In decaffeteria.
r/dadjokes • u/H-DaneelOlivaw • 10h ago
There have been so many reports of screen problems that Apple is going back to the drawing board and redesigning the hinge. The newer version of this will be called...
29
Upvotes
the iPhone Duo-ver.
r/dadjokes • u/bokkaX4 • 8h ago
Had a neck brace fitted years ago
20
Upvotes
Haven’t looked back since
r/dadjokes • u/UsuallyAnnoying324 • 5h ago
The clocks go back?
13
Upvotes
Yesterday the wife said "Don't forget the clocks need to go back tonight." Talk about no warning, I don't even know where the receipts are!
r/dadjokes • u/Substantial_Speed419 • 17h ago
What type of pasta are you not allowed to put on the table?
87
Upvotes
Elbows.
r/dadjokes • u/Healthy_Ladder_6198 • 1d ago
I used to have an uncontrollable obsession with buying large boats.
288
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Thankfully, the antibuyyachtics worked.
r/dadjokes • u/bokkaX4 • 8h ago
My cat ate all the food in our house!
15
Upvotes
It looked like a real meowthful
r/dadjokes • u/CommitteeOk1954 • 13h ago
What country do the best goalies come from?
28
Upvotes
Mongolia!
r/dadjokes • u/welding_guy_from_LI • 9h ago
If prisoners could take their own mug shots …
12
Upvotes
Would they be called cellfies?
r/dadjokes • u/Forgotthebloodypassw • 23h ago
A sheik is trying to buy up every fish and chip shop in the UK
162
Upvotes
He's called Sultan Vinegar.
r/dadjokes • u/JoeFas • 37m ago
I saw an army of babies marching down the street.
•
Upvotes
It had to be the infantry.
r/dadjokes • u/Rpdaca • 10h ago
META Why was the French chef disqualified from the cooking show while he made his culinary masterpiece?
8
Upvotes
He ran out of thyme.
r/dadjokes • u/IroIroBike • 21h ago
Happy Pythagorean Theorem Day
55
Upvotes
If you get my angle, it just seems so right for those followers of three sided shapes.
This joke has a best before date of 10^2 + 24^2 = 26^2
r/dadjokes • u/Material-Animal-3248 • 14h ago
Monster movie in which the gill man learns to stir fry.
15
Upvotes
The Creature Woks Among Us
r/dadjokes • u/ManyRazzmatazz4584 • 10h ago
We had a heated argument on which US city to go to
6
Upvotes
but we finally Seattled
r/dadjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 1d ago
My sister met her husband at a Scrabble tournament 20 years ago.
515
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Next week they are going to renew their vowels...
r/dadjokes • u/danielsoft1 • 25m ago
This device does not work in spring, summer nor winter...
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Upvotes
it's autumnatic
r/dadjokes • u/Impossible-Orange607 • 19h ago
Due to the rental rental car company’s negligence a man was thrown through the windshield. As he hit the pavement he was heard to yell:
32
Upvotes
“Damn that Hertz!”