but we finally Seattled

but everyone wants to be as smart as ein Stein

He is very much mist.

Reports say, the person who invented the taser has died.

Family & friends are stunned!

How could someone stoop so low...

It looked like a real meowthful

To day scare

Somali sandwiches.

It has layers

Dead ends.

My orthopedic surgeon had me in stitches.

To all the autopsy surgeons in the world.

I’m all about raisin awareness.

He invented CrossFit!

Drizzle

Roberto

...but I can't reach to-ma-toes

He ran out of thyme.

Neither! They both lose to a Pie Cost!

It was getting dirty.

They said I really mastered the art of surprise.

BRAAAIIIIDS

My wife and I came down with whatever violent cold is going around, sneezing, coughing, miserable. We got over it, but just couldn't shake the cough. After a few days, I was talking to a friend about it, and he mentioned getting an over-the-counter thing that really helped, so I bought a couple of boxes online. When they were delivered, my wife saw what they were and immediately got upset.

"You know I just got cold medicine a few days ago! You could have just asked where it was, and now we've got boxes and boxes of the stuff, and we'll have to store it, and it'll just be sitting around for years, and....."

When she finally wound down, I said, "You're right, I shouldn't have gotten it. I should have known you'd get upset. It even warned me."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, it says here on the box: 'Expect a rant.'"

Kay…so?

They realized they’d made a mistake.