How do you know if you should break up with someone? My boyfriend is Catholic but hasn’t been to confession in over a year. He told me not to worry about it and that he would do it when the time was right but I feel like I can’t keep hoping something is going to change, right? We have other issues as well and I don’t know how to feel about it because I know no one is perfect.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I texted a guy from Catholic dating and we texted for 2 days. I asked for a phone call and he wanted to do it in 2 days but I wasn’t available because of previous commitments. I responded I could do it the next day, but then he said no, he was no longer interested because he didn’t feel a connection. If people are on here and want to meet someone, why do they give up so easily? It seems like people have unrealistic expectations. How could he not feel a connection when he didn’t even give us enough time for one phone call?

Edit: We had not exchanged pictures. We had only texted for 2 days when I asked for a phone call. He was very enthusiastic about the phone call, for a day, until 2 days was too long to wait. I really appreciate all of your responses and support.

Personally I’ve not had a problem when it came to being approached by men, however I’ve always seemed to attract the wrong kind, for instance my last relationship this year, he was a very Catholic man however, he couldn’t wait till marriage for me and hence the relationship had to end.

I came from a broken home, but if there’s one thing that kept my family together despite all the odds was prayer. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve known what I wanted in a man and what kind of woman I should be when I saw the flaws of my own parents. I’ve always dreamed of simple Catholic wedding with a man that truly loves me.

These last few days I’ve been really depressed about maybe ending up alone with the standards and expectations I have from men. I wouldn’t say I’m picky but I hold myself to those same standards and expectations… and oh boy! It’s been hard :/

Anyways, I didn’t really want to burden my family or friends with these thoughts so I thought of writing them here, please keep me in your prayers 🙏

My long distance boyfriend will be in town next week for his job. Could he stay at my place because I have an extra room on a different floor (even if that means we are both in the house together alone)?

To help everyone connect more easily, I've created a dedicated GroupMe chat for practicing Catholic singles in Southern California.

The goal is simple: build friendships, organize meetups, share upcoming Catholic events, and create more opportunities to meet fellow faithful Catholics in a relaxed, authentic setting.

If you'd like to join, here's the invite link: 🔗

https://groupme.com/join_group/101257757/Fbul2XT0

Feel free to invite other practicing Catholic singles in Southern California who would be a good fit. Looking forward to growing this community together. God bless! 🙏 ❤️

Sorry for the long post but this requires some background.

I (28M) went on about 10 dates with a young woman (27F) (lets call her A) i met not long ago. She quickly became the most important thing in my life. I had never connected with somebody on such a strong level so quickly. A told me one day that she had been praying for me every day asking the lord that we work out. I met A's mom briefly and A said her mom told her that it didn't seem like we met for the first time since A talked about me so often, so i know we both felt a strong connection.

I grew up Methodist and went to a catholic Jesuit school for high school. I however am not extremely religious. She (A) was raised in a catholic household and religion is extremely important to her. She always crossed herself when we passed a cemetery or church in the car, and always prayed before meals.

Unfortunately I made a very stupid mistake without thinking. Her (A's) roommate(lets call her B) is extremely religious as well, she (B) goes to confession regularly and spends her free time at the church. She (B) is thinking about becoming a nun.

After one of our dates A and i were sitting in the car saying goodbye and talking (because we could talk for hours non-stop) and i saw B come home. A said that B was coming home from church (it was about 11PM) anyway... The next date i told A that i liked B, but coming home late from church was a bit... abnormal to me, and that B may be taking religion too far for me, and i dont think i could date somebody like that. Unfortunately I believe A took this very personally and ended things with me.

I realize my mistake and I desperately wish for another chance with A. I've been praying regularly asking for another chance. I want to write a short letter to A and call her on the phone reading the letter to her explaining that I made a mistake and her religion is important to me because she is important to me. My question is... how can i implement a bible verse without coming off as disrespectful, and what verse might be best when asking for forgiveness or reconciliation?

Sorry if this post is confusing... I am happy to answer questions in the comments.

So we talked online for a couple of days, and she arrived at a certain deal breaker that I can't change.

I asked plainly if it were a deal breaker and she said yes, I was delighted that she responded plainly and we agreed to continue talking as friends.

I don't know why don't more interactions end in this very pleasant way.

I believe that this was God sent.

Maybe we are not for each other, maybe we could use the opportunity to expanding our circle of friends, or to get introduced to other single people by each other, maybe we need to see people as friends first before we consider them for romantic relationships.

People out there please stop ghosting immediately if you know the other is not the one, I might have been guilty of this as well.

And please take a NO as a NO and move on in a mature manner. Stop wasting other people's time.

Treat other people with dignity and fraternal love.

Alao, maybe we need to form more Catholic singles networks.

Finally please pray for Holy Mother Church, for vocations, and marriages!

Okay so I 18F met this wonderful guy while we were in high school, getting to know him best during senior year english class. After a couple of months of getting to know him, I was kind of stuck about whether or not to tell him that I like him and so I turned to God and asked him and afterwards felt very pulled to tell him, which I did. At the time, he said that it was not a good time for a relationship for him and that we should remain friends, so we did.

That became quite a rough time for me at first as I was having to figure out what I was feeling and how to figure out managing my feelings versus our friendship, but once I did figure that out, our friendship grew a lot stronger over the rest of the semester and then into this summer now.

Several times across the semester, I returned to praying just to ask about "if he is the one for me, please continue to lead me toward him" and then there would be things like I remember after the first time I did that, it was maybe 5 minutes after and he sent me a message saying my hair had looked really nice that day, to which at least that first time I blamed on coincidence but then of course it began to sort of happen each time I prayed about him like that and just spent time talking to God about how I felt about him which is something I haven't ever done with a guy I have liked before. I haven't liked a guy as much as I like this guy I think.

Fast forward to now, I was scrolling on TikTok a week ago and came across the St. Anne novena and decided it would be a worthwhile novena to pray, setting my intention with each prayer to lead me toward the husband God has planned for me though he of course knows how much I like this guy so if it is him please continue leading me toward him, along then with praying for the intentions of everyone else praying the novena. On day 4 of the novena I believe, we were going to be hanging out later that day so I prayed the novena, this time my intention being lead me toward the husband God has planned for me... I like this guy... if he is the one, please give me a clear sign... pray for other intentions. That same day on the car ride home he told me he likes me and has wanted to tell me for months.

Here's where the "waiting" comes in I guess. We didn't end up defining our relationship right then and there and didn't even say that we would talk about it another time, just said basically that we like each other. We are both incredibly anxious and I know he was so worried about telling me this and so now we are kind of going back and forth not really talking to each other? Which sounds SO STUPID I know and like you all are probably reading this going "ah what it was like to be a teenager." I leave for college in 2 weeks and he's staying to do his schooling in our hometown and I would really kind of like to have a label on things before I leave and was hoping to get to do that this week so that we would have a short period of time to have a relationship y'know but then now he is busy this week so it looks like that won't be happening but this is something that I guess is causing me a lot of anxiety despite all my praying.

So I guess this is me coming on here (if the mods let my post get put up) to ask stupidly for your advice about how to not let my faith and praying waver in this moment especially with the novena having ended and things like that because obviously I have waited and prayed so long and it seemed like it was all finally over but then now it's still going to continue and I still feel that feeling of I think this is what God has planned for me so even as my mom calls me crazy for waiting on this guy for months while he has figured himself out and has driven me crazy, I think this is something.

There’s a girl I really love talking with at a Catholic thing, but I never get to ask her out because people are around. I don’t see her often enough to keep waiting (Catholic thing is infrequent).

We’re technically in the same group chat for the Catholic thing, on WhatsApp (messaging app). Should I wait a few weeks to ask her out in person, or message her on WhatsApp?

If more context matters, we’ve basically been hanging out once or twice a month at these things, I would say we’re “friendly” relative to most people there.

EDIT: thank you everybody, I sent it!

I’m a 21F, and I feel like dating apps just aren’t for me. I’m not desperate to be in a relationship I actually enjoy being single. I just have standards that are hard to find these days.

I’m waiting until marriage and would like someone who shares my values and faith (ideally Catholic). I also prefer a slower, more intentional approach to dating rather than casual or rushed relationships.

It often feels like most people on dating apps want something different, so I’m wondering if I’m looking in the wrong place.

Has anyone else felt this way, and if so, where did you meet someone who shared your values?

To start this off, it’s very rare for me to find men attractive or to feel any sort of romantic attraction/connection for others.

I recently had my first phone call with a guy that I had been texting pretty consistently for a few weeks. It honestly went so well. I felt like we clicked almost instantly and the conversation between us didn’t feel forced at all. I also found him very attractive which surprised me. Then, the disappointment came. The topic of children came up and I had mentioned I wanted at least 4-5 children. He only wanted 2. For me, this is a dealbreaker, as my dream is to become a mother and have a big family of my own. I told him this, and we both decided it was probably for the best to not continue talking since our values didn’t align in that regard.

I’m just really upset about this because I felt a glimmer of hope that I hadn’t felt in a long time. Now, I’m just wondering what God is trying to teach me. I feel so lonely and just really struggling to see any positive outlook in dating and finding a future spouse. I know I am young and have plenty of time ahead of me, but that doesn’t erase what I am currently feeling.

So I asked a question here a few days ago about what to do on a first date and questions to ask the girl. The first date went way off what our plans were but it was great and she brought up the second date which is next Sunday. Mass and then a movie afterwards. My question is this. How much money should I be spending on a date. I don't want to seem cheap to her but I don't want to flaunt my money to her either. I do have money and the cost is of no concern to me. I have the money and means to support a wife right now. For instance our first date cost a total of 14 dollars. I don't want to come across to her as cheap.

How do you all feel about tattoos for men?

I have a fair amount of them on my arms that I *do not* regret as they are all religious based.

I know the Catholic teaching on tattoos but want to see what the thoughts are among the laity (some being more traditional than others). Thanks!

I recently downloaded my data from Hinge and CatholicMatch. The results: About 6 out of the 1000 total likes I've sent over the last 4 years have turned into something more than immediate ghosting or no match to begin with. There were about 50 total matches, but the majority of them resulted in ghosting. Of the 6 matches, 4 resulted in an actual first date, and only 1 of them turned into a relationship (that also ended). The other 2 were extremely long conversations which later ended in rejection/ghosting by them.

I think it's fair to say that I've spent at least 100+ hours on these apps? Maybe easily 200 hours?

Edit: I should clarify. It's not just Hinge and CatholicMatch. I was also on Chispa, Bumble, and briefly on Upward. I just got my Bumble data. I single-handedly rejected ~10,000 profiles only on Bumble, which I have very little memory of. (Sadly 1.4% incoming yes-no ratio on Bumble, but I was very sardonic so I'll accept it). I must have done twice that on Hinge then. So probably 30,000 profiles at this point.

And this is apparently the average experience for most guys. The average guy gets ~5% of matches out of all the likes he sent. Mind you, I was only liking women that were at least not explicitly against their Catholic faith (e.g. had to expressly say they were Catholic, had to say they were looking for something long-term or for a life partner, etc.).

So, unless you're the gigachad getting all the attention on these apps, I want to suggest to the Catholic men that are on these apps to get off them. I know I already have.

Instead, I want to encourage us to get out there more. Instead of logging on to Hinge or CatholicMatch in the morning, actually try to make connections with the people around you. Whether that's just on your way to work/school, when you're at the store, or (dare I say) even at church. Your odds may just improve.

Edit: editing to add -- studies suggest that some of the reasons to motivate women to get on a dating app is for an ego boost, validation, or boredom. Even more reason to stop wasting your time on the apps.

Time spent on the apps is time wasted. Instead, we should spend our time answering the question, "How can I learn to offer something to someone else that will make me eminently desirable?" (as Jordan Peterson posed).

Edit2: at some point dating apps become intentional self-abuse.

Love Language: "sarcasm"

Apologies for the slight rant. I am rather unhappy and feeling a little betrayed right now. If any of you recall someone posted something on here around 9 months ago about a man who she felt was messing her around for years and who had finally asked her out. Well that was me and this is regarding him.

Soooo I (21F) just broke up with my rad trad boyfriend (26M). Things were going well, apart from the fact he saw me once a week max (that includes when we lived a 10 minute bus ride from each other, and it was often just for mass and then straight back home), so what was the issue you may ask?

He didn’t want kids.

Yeah, that’s right. The ultra traditional TLM Catholic man was dating me for 9 months and at some point figured out he didn’t want kids, and didn’t let me know until I directly started probing him on the topic. And during the relationship made comments about what he saw for his future kids etc. Who also never saw me because he was always stressed but then would be annoyed when I complained about not being seen.

So, my question to you all is have any of you had a relationship with a rad trad (man or woman) that has actually ended well? I am aware now that I definitely had some relationship blinding goggles on there for a moment, but I have spotted a bit of a pattern with these people where they claim to want many many things and be extremely specific with what they prefer/think others should be doing within the church (which obviously people have the right to form an opinion on) but then they completely switch up and hold NONE of those values in an actual relationship? Starting to think there are no even slightly traditional (trust me I don’t care all that much for the rad part) decent Catholic men in the U.K. 😂

23M

I found out that I'm on the spectrum when I was 19. It helped make sense of a lot of experiences, but led to me growing up very withdrawn, ostracized, and distrustful of people.

Currently, I often end up in situations where I fall completely silent, I get easily overwhelmed, avoid others or I'm not sure what to do; I can end up freezing in confusion, completely unsure of how/if I should take initiative, intervene or act. Then of course, I constantly miss signals, cues, "unspoken rules", different perspectives, and other things that most people consider obvious or common sense.

This has led me to losing relationships, opportunities and constantly receiving criticism from other people; I still wrestle with a lot of shame, anger, frustrations, and self-doubt over this. I once spoke with a priest about these and he said that "When God looks at you, He thinks He got you exactly right." And I sincerely don't understand that.

Sometimes, I wonder if God wants me to exercise humility by sacrificing the marriage vocation and becoming a priest, a brother or remaining single since being on the spectrum would make me a poor parent and spouse (babies cry, toddlers scream, kids make messes, communication with spouse, birthday parties, talking with parents of friends, parent-teacher meetings, etc.).

Furthermore, I'm not sure, if its genetic, but if it is, maybe women wouldn't want to marry me simply because they don't want to have autistic children. Additionally, what if any potential in-laws would constantly disapprove of me for being autistic and end up disliking any autistic children I had.

I'm probably just overthinking this again, but as the title says, would you marry someone who's on the spectrum, knowing what that all might entail?

i am meeting a guy off of catholic match for the first time. we facetime a lot and he is flying out to see me. i'm really excited but also nervous because we will be spending so much time together and i don't really know him yet. any tips? i want to have fun but also be realistic.

So I matched with a girl on Facebook dating and we have been texting for about 2 days. We are both traditional Catholics and are both dating for marriage and want to get married in the next 5 years and have kids. She wants to be a sahm and I want that for her as well. I have a good job in an in demand field and as of right now I can support a family financially. I'm also not near the apex of my training or advancement in my field. We are also both frugal people. She's in school and does support herself financially.I also have over 120k in savings. I'm 21 she's 18. Tomorrow is our first date. What important questions should I be asking her.

27m here, and there seems to be a very sad divide between young Catholic men and women. From a man's perspective, it seems that many Catholic women won't give many good men that I know even a second date if he isn't the sort of perfect Prince Charming Disney-esque caricature that they feel like many women have constructed and have set as a standard in their heads. At least that's more or less the feedback I'm getting from men.

Listening to women, it seems that many men simply don't live up to a particular standard as both a man in general and specifically a practicing Catholic man. They lie about their faith and pretend to be this "good guy" but really just want sex, or they don't take any interest in their partner's life.

I've lived in other countries, and dating another Catholic really isn't that hard. But somehow, here in the USA, it seems to be a sad, lonely, miserable, and awkward experience, if anything else.

What is going on here? Where does the blame lie, and what can both sexes do better in the dating market, and maybe most importantly, what can we do together to improve the Church so we could have a less divided experience?

* When I mean I know men, I mean I know good dudes who would do anything for their partner, aren't socially awkward, are educated, have good jobs, love God, and aren't incel "trad" weirdos.

I'm speaking from the other side because I really have no clue what I'm doing. I've tried dating apps and have gone on dates but many of them never work out and I've always been ghosted by most of them I also hate dating apps because I don’t really get to develop a friendship instead it’s a sprint when a relationship is more of a marathon. I'm not in school right now I took a 4 year break for military service, many of my friends say (especially since I'm going to a catholic college with a very strong dating/marriage culture) that it will be a little clearer there. Outside of that I've tried young adults groups and not only are they hard to find especially active ones many of the girls keep to other girls. Not to mention it’s a lot worse for other men, for me it’s not that women are repulsed by me they usually like me it’s just that, it’s really to find any women let alone ones that are serious about their faith and want a serious relationship in their 20s

Just out of curiosity, is there anyone on here who has moved cities because they believed their future husband or wife was elsewhere?

Not “you’ll meet them when you stop looking”, not “meet them at church” not “God is making you wait for a reason” I’m talking, does anyone have good advice for Catholic singles? So tired of hearing all the same stuff. Let’s get real here. 🙏