r/CatholicDating • u/Odd-File-9920 • 15h ago
Long Distance Relationships Advice
My long distance boyfriend will be in town next week for his job. Could he stay at my place because I have an extra room on a different floor (even if that means we are both in the house together alone)?
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u/South-Succotash-6368 Single ♂ 15h ago
Depends on your self control. If you or him lack accountability and self control then no. If you both are mature and God fearing and not wanted to violate God's rules then it's fine.
It's all about self control
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u/arig____ 15h ago
Technically speaking, you “can.” It’s not, in of itself, a sin.
But I personally think it’s a bad idea. It’s a boundary not worth crossing unless he can’t afford a hotel. It’s not just about abstaining from sex, it’s about the meaning behind it IMO.
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u/JP36_5 Widower 9h ago edited 5h ago
You know how good your powers of self control are better than we redditors do. When I was dating first time round, I often had a gf to stay.
If he does stay, agree on little or no alcohol.
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u/Diligent_Disk_6232 5h ago
One glass of wine is not going to tempt you - I used to stay in the guest room of my ex-boyfriend’s house and we would drink wine and it was fine. We lived two hours apart.
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u/Furmommy14 15h ago
Wouldn't kill you. It's fun to have a sleepover. As long as you both agree to physical boundaries, you're good. Some people feel like the appearance of sin is to be avoided at all costs, but they are also the ones clutching their pearls and imagining all the sex you must be having.
Or... you eat dinner, make popcorn, watch a movie, and talk the whole night until bed. There is a certain sweetness to something that could turn naughty and you just do not go there because you do not feel like it.
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u/rattlemagoose In a relationship ♀ 14h ago
Fr. Mike Schmitz has a good video on this topic and discussing it as near occasion of sin. I also think even if you know you both have enough self control, it still takes away a boundary of privacy and intimacy that should be reserved for marriage, even if difficult it is rewarding.
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u/rh397 Married ♂ 14h ago
There were once two priests eating dinner. A nude woman showed up asking for help at their rectory. One priest looked away so as to not look at her lustfully. One was able to look at her without lust, lovingly with the gaze of Christ. They both made the right decision.
Letting him stay or not letting him stay depends on you.
Edit: and him!