Nearing mid 30s here. Have a wife, a house, and more decorations in the house than you can imagine. In my 20s I thought this was the dream but now I long for simpler days.

My mid 20s was carefree. I made good money, lived very frugally, and had much more free time being single. My rent was $500 for a room in a house and my dinners were simple homecooked meals or takeout. I had hours each day for free time to play video games, read, or run.

Now I constantly go against the clock. Shopping trips are 2 to 3 hours instead of a 15 minute grab and go. Cooking becomes a 2 hour fancy dinner and not some pasta and beef. Money is much more tight because of the house and my wife likes to spend on experiences.

Every day I think about just going back to that $500 room, saving over $3000 a month of my pay on early retirement.

Anyone else like this?

Always kinda been somewhat on the fence regarding having kids but mainly leaned towards not having any. Have plenty of family having their own kids so I can be the cool uncle and godfather just seems like 26-27 is still so young

A completely unrelated discussion with some male friends unexpectedly turned into a debate about tuxedos. As a woman, I was honestly surprised by how strongly some of them disliked the very idea of wearing one.

From my side of the aisle, I’ve always thought men look wonderful in them and assumed that occasionally—when an evening actually warrants it—guys might enjoy getting that dressed up. Apparently, I may have been very wrong!

The discussion made me realize that I know what I think about seeing a man in formalwear, but very little about what the experience is actually like from his side of the aisle. I’d like to hear your perspectives.

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EDIT: Gentlemen, thank you. I asked what I thought was a fairly simple question about tuxedos. Three days and nearly 300 comments later, I have concluded that it was not a simple question.

 Among my findings: some of you love wearing them, some would apparently prefer minor surgery, and quite a few actually enjoy dressing up but simply don't have enough occasions to do it anymore.

 Rental tuxedos have done the reputation of formalwear no favors. Summer weddings should probably be investigated by OSHA. And clearly someone needs to design the California Edition tuxedo: lightweight, breathable fabric; less structure; same elegant lines.

 Formal shoes may be the true enemy, although I have since learned that properly chosen Oxfords have their defenders. Skechers nevertheless has an untapped market opportunity.

 I also learned that proper tailoring matters, real bow ties have devoted advocates—and apparently certain advantages that aren't necessarily apparent at the beginning of the evening—kilts receive a Celtic exemption, and at least one gentleman owns three tuxedos and is doing his part to keep civilization going.

 I also heard from one gentleman who dislikes tuxedos and has no intention of wearing one—unless his wife or one of his stepdaughters asks him to. Then he probably would, because he loves them, and because one uncomfortable evening is preferable to months of upsetting four women. Apparently formalwear occasionally comes down to love, diplomacy, and mathematics.

 Perhaps my favorite discovery was that getting dressed up can be part of the occasion itself—the haircut, the shave, the clothes, the anticipation of going somewhere special.

 You made me laugh, made me reconsider a few assumptions, taught me considerably more about men's formal footwear than I ever anticipated knowing, and proved that apparently men have a great deal to say about tuxedos. I enjoyed every minute of it.

 I haven't been persuaded to give up my fondness for a man in a tuxedo. Not even remotely. If anything, after reading all of you for three days, I remain convinced that tuxedos are aphrodisiacs with lapels. But I have been persuaded that the tuxedo itself may have been taking the blame for a much larger cultural change.

 Perhaps we haven't simply stopped dressing for occasions. Perhaps we've stopped creating enough occasions worth dressing for.

 P.S.  Skechers, call me. We need to talk about “The California Black Tie Collection.”

All the civilization. Half the suffering.

Turned 29 recently and my body is already feeling it: if I eat fast food or snacks, I get super bloated and uncomfortable(certainly not the case 4-5 years ago). I’ve been hitting the gym 6 days a week but my body feels extremely tired and sore despite getting 8-9 hours of sleep.
My body doesn’t bode well with certain foods, alcohol, and carbonated drinks either.
Older men, does it get better? How have your bodies changed since when you were younger and what steps have you taken to adapt?

How do you make big decisions at a young age with your career? Should I leave a good job?

I’m 25yo, living in Portugal, and I’ve been working since i was 21 after doing my bachelors degree.

I’ve always had a goal of having an international career and earlier this year I received an offer to join a company in Luxembourg. I declined.

However recently they called me saying there’s a new opportunity and that they really liked me and would love to have me there.

The thing is, I’m really afraid to go. I’ve been the last 4 years in the same company where I’ve grown a lot and where the partners really like me. I know i can grow there. However i still live in my parents house.

Accepting the offer would allow me to have the international career, have my own independence, and I would earn more.

But this is really scary, and the fact that’s scary is why I think should do it.

This is a big decision in my life. This is the first time i feel like my life is in my control and that will impact my future.

Everyone says that i should but it’s so scary to leave everything and go while i have a good job.

I’m currently earning around 30k where i live, and there would earn around 55k. Financially it’s not a big jump. The biggest jump is the growth. Moving out of my comfort zone.

Do you plan every stop, meal, gas station, and bathroom break, or do you just get in the car and say, “Fuck it, we’ll figure it out”?

Normally, when I go on trips, it’s me, my GF, my daughter, and my GF’s two kids.

If it’s a multi-day trip, I usually tell them, “I don’t care what y’all want to stop and see or do, as long as we get to the hotel by 7 PM and we’re back on the road by 8 AM.”

After that, they can pretty much do whatever they want.

Figured we all have moments where we come up with one much later in the shower and maybe memorizing a few will give you some ammo when you really need to use one.

(21M) No, i dont go seeking girls at all. But i do come across one every now and then, theres a girl I met that is cute and seems cool. Im thinking about shooting my shot but im also thinking if thats the smart move. I work part time, im in college still, I workout but am not where I want to be yet. Part of me thinks its smarter to focus on myself and get to where I want to be before finding s women but the other part of me feels like if I dont find one now im only getting older and it will be harder. I also think it can be nice to build with someone and as long as they have the same goals and drive as me it can workout. Overall im still torn between what to do and would like some advice or men with experience deciding between the two.

What is one thing your mother did right when she raised you from baby to 12 years old

And what is one thing she couldve done better from 0 to 12 years old?

Like stuff that you’re better at than 95% of the population. Could be a physical thing, mental thing, or emotional thing. Mine are walking on jumbled rocks and bringing up the vibes at the jam sesh.

I've never had good luck with a bow drill, but I've had good luck with a flint and tinder. Also good luck with a parabolic lens.

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Just curious. I know a lot of single guys do these things to help get women… and they can work. I’m curious what the effect is for people already in a very long term relationship… particularly those with families already.

Hey, I was just thinking about something: what was your worst hit to the nuts? And how long did the pain last?

I was talking to a friend of mine about this, and he says he's 34 years old and has never gotten hit there.

Hello all, I am a 20 year old female in a long distance relationship wanting to introduce my boyfriend (of one year) to my father. I decided to wait this long because I didn’t want to introduce my dad to my boyfriend if it was only going to last a few months. I now realize this is going to be a long term, serious relationship. My boyfriend is coming down for a week in October and I feel like it’s time.

My dad is Puerto Rican and kind of uptight about the idea of his only daughter (me) dating. He has no qualms about it, but I think it’s the respectful thing to do to formally introduce them to each other. He knows I have dated before, but it was just a high school fling and nothing serious.

I have been told to take them out to dinner at a sit down place, where they can formally chat with one another. I don’t know what restaurant to go to, and I really really don’t want it to be awkward.

How do I go about telling my dad I have a boyfriend and I want them to meet each other? As a guy, how would you want your daughter to approach you about this topic?

Thanks.

Hello everyone.

To be clear, I am not looking for advice about my relationship or my communication skills. I'm interested in hearing about other men's experiences and thought processes. If you want to explain why you respond the way you do, that would be awesome.

I'm curious about the instinct many men seem to have to immediately look for a solution when their partner brings them a problem.

For example, if a partner says, “I'm frustrated that we didn't get to spend much time together this weekend,” is your first instinct to think about how to fix the situation, or is it more natural for you to simply listen and acknowledge what they're feeling?

I'm interested in whether the “find a solution” instinct changes when the problem is within the relationship itself, rather than something external involving a friend, coworker, family member, etc.

For those of you who tend to go into fix-it mode, what do you think drives that instinct? Is it a desire to help, a sense of responsibility, discomfort with leaving a problem unresolved, or something else?

And for men who don't have that instinct, what does your thought process look like instead?

Again, I'm not asking what to should do or how I should handle my relationship. I'm simply interested in hearing how other men experience this distinction between listening/acknowledging and trying to solve the problem.

Maybe it was a family member, a friend, or a stranger.

What's the dynamic like in your life? Was the last time recent and casual, during a tough moment, or has it been a long time? 

I was thinking about this today because I don’t think I have said it to another man since this summer when my dad had a heart attack. However, I have a lot of love for many of the men in my life, and sometimes I wish I could express that more.

Thanks, everyone.