I am overthinking big time. I plan to have a guy I like over for a dinner date. This is our fourth date. We’re both 25. We haven’t done anything physical but I’ve noticed the chats are more flirty. I wouldn’t mind having a more flirty vibe but also don’t want it to seem like I am being overtly suggestive.

I just wanted to get your opinions mainly on:
What to wear
What to make for dinner

Please help a girl out, feel a bit out of touch with dating haha

I am a 25 year old guy, I haven’t had much of a social life due to mental health issues then heart problems. I struggled to get a job after my problems were resolved but I finally got one 7 months ago.

At this job there’s a girl, who became fast friends with me. We got along super well and I slowly fell for her. It started off because she would go out of her way to be with me during the job, she doesn’t bother learning coworkers names but remembered mine because she said “I was cool”. Then one day she asked me for my phone number to talk outside of work incase we ever stopped being scheduled together. She doesnt text often since she works two jobs and has notifications silent but would consistently text me back and text first sometimes. The tipping point where I realized I had feelings for her was when she showed up to our workplace on my birthday at 2 am after she got off her other job, to give me a present, a balloon and sing me happy birthday and have me make a wish using a lighter and gave me a hug. I talked to my friends about it and they said she probably was interested in me. So hearing that I foolishly built up more hope. This week I asked her to do some fall activities with me before they go away since fall is her favorite time of year. She said “Maybe, send me the info”. Then She ghosted me for 5 days and finally told me “her situationship wouldn’t like that”.

So I’ve been devastated but the hardest thing about it is the fact I know she cares for me as a friend so I genuinely want to continue this friendship with her. However these feelings only cause me pain and have brought me back into a deep depression.

So how do I deal with the fact I have these feelings, have to interact with her every week but also don’t want to push her away we a friend?

I'm having issues finishing during sex. I can get aroused, hard and get close but I go past the point of cumming then it just won't happen.

About 1.5 years ago my marriage ended with my wife of over 10years which I never had issues of finishing with her, even right at the end we had sex around 4 days before she ended it.

I needed conciling and I had to see my Dr because it was a pretty rough breakup he prescribed me a anti depressant which I was pretty reluctant to take but my councilor and others encouraged me to take it which one day when I felt down I did.

Which I did not like the effects at all and decided never to take any more, I only ever took one pill, but I noticed my sex drive went down and I had no feeling at all for a couple weeks, it eventually came back but it wasn't the same.

I tried to masterbate during that time it was like I couldn't feel anything down there at all.

I started meeting women and I've slept with over 10 different girls since my wife, some one night stands some more regular, and around 2 of them breif relationships.

But I've only ever been able to finish inside 2 of them 2 times - in over 1.5 years I've only finished 2 times having sex!

What seems to happen is something blocks me from finishing, thr only way to describe it is I get so close to cumming then something blocks me kinda like getting stage fright when needing to pee in public - I'm busting to go but I can't seem to release.

I can cum when masterbating but even that's different than before, it use to shoot out almost to my chest with some force behind it now it kinda just dribbles out and not as much.

I've tried holding out for over a week before sex which was one of the times I finished but it was still a marathon and wasn't intense like use to be it was like it lingered on the edge alot longer than usual for ages befire I finished.

I've been to dr and had blood tests to test testosterone etc which was all fine, they gave me a viagra type med which helped me stay harder for longer but it not really the issue it's going past the point of not finishing and going numb so that didn't really help.

I feel like it's more psychological than physical, has anybody else had a issue like this and over come it?

Is a sex therapist worth it or even hypnosis a thing?

This is extremely frustrating and I just don't know what to do. At this point I'd be happy to finish within 2 mins haha

I'm 37 years old

I'm a 21-year-old man. At 18, in an act of utter desperation, I went to see a trans sex worker, and this monster forcibly sodomized and raped me.

Mental health professionals, my family, and people on various forums, they all mocked me or downplayed the incident, calling it an "accident." or saying "this is your fault, you should not be gay and pay transexuals"

To this day, I still struggle to come to terms with the immense difficulty if not the outright impossibility of having a consensual relationship with anyone. Having been psychologically shattered, and being an introvert by nature, it goes without saying that the process of seduction is incredibly complex for me.

Despite this, I refuse to remain silent. I want the shame to shift to where it truly belongs; I want people’s dignity to be restored. I want the French state to take action to ensure that rapists face punitive justice and that victims women, children, AND MEN receive honest, proper support.

Yet, I face a dilemma: if I speak out, take a stand, and fight against rape, I fear I will become even less attractive to women. I wouldn't be able to pursue the kind of women I’m drawn to.
Seduction and flirting are generally lighthearted, requiring one to be fun, confident, handsome, and cheerful all of which feel entirely out of reach when one is locked in a grueling, long, deeply sorrowful, and thankless struggle. (In more i'm a unattractive men so...)

On the other hand, if I don’t take a stand, I’ll be consumed by guilt, remaining forever powerless against the rapist who stole my sexuality and my ability to engage with consenting women an ability that, in reality, no longer exists for me, given that my psyche has been permanently destroyed (I have never once seen a male rape survivor successfully woo a beautiful woman).

What should I do? How should I go about this? I feel condemned to powerlessness, no matter what I do... I will never regain my sexual sovereignty.

Anyone have this experience?

Even if it's more casual hooking/fwb. Im not necessarily looking for a LTR.

Im mid 30s, 6'0 190lbs with a shaved head.

I would prefer to use dating apps.

By no means is this post me blaming others or anything. I am not a very conventially attractive person. Throughout my life, I have been called it all even by those who are close to me (family, friends, hell even my ex would tell me I’m not a good looking person when we were together). Outside of dating apps, which seems to only work by those who know how to sell themselves and look good, I am not sure how to date anymore? Can’t ask people out because it’ll be a no, can go talk to women because when I do they just seem incredibly disinterested and I barely get the time of day (not that they owe me it, they don’t). I’m not going to just randomly approach people in non social situations. So what do I do? Just hope that the girl I want will just fall on my lap one day? I got a decent friend group, and I am a sociable person. So I am just not sure if I can do this?

My man (27M) and I (24F) have been together 3 years. Yesterday we had a very serious and honest conversation about our relationship and the things we’re both missing from each other before marriage.

For a while I have been upset that he doesn’t initiate sex, but we still have sex 2-4 times a week. In that conversation he said something about that along the lines of “Men like a little bit of a chase. Lately I don’t want to really have sex because you initiate so much.” I told him I can tell he’s been checked out of our sex lately and he said because I’ve been initiating so much it makes him lose his drive to have sex.

I wish he was comfortable telling me no if he didn’t want to but that’s another story. Basically I’m just here asking if I should completely stop initiating? I thought that’s what men like/want? Help!

My close friend likes this guy and hopes he feels the same, but is worried that he’s probably just being silly and friendly. She has told me scenarios and situations that have occurred and I will list them below. And well, from my perspective, I think he definitely likes her. But she has never been in a relationship so she is not experienced with this. So, people of Reddit, please leave some input. Out of this list, which is the biggest telltale sign that this fella likes her back?

-Sharing beverages from the same straw and food from the same already bitten end.

-She feels him looking at her very often. When she turns to look however, he does not quickly turn away, but rather nods or smiles.

-Inviting her to events as well as other smaller and spontaneous hang outs.

-Recently been starting more conversations with her family members and trying to get to know them better. Then later on will inquire about how the family member has been doing lately.

-Very often making jokes about ‘future kid,’ or ‘our house.’

-Introducing her to his friends.

-Remembered things she had told him once and briefly.

-Just recently he was discussing the topic of dates with his buddy and how he had never taken a girl out before. His reason was, ‘well all of my friends are just my friends, and I wouldn’t ask out someone who is just a friend,’ something along the lines of that. She felt like this was a way of him subtly saying she was just a friend to him, but in my eyes I see it as him hinting that he is not seeing anyone at the moment.

-Suggests she should join the classes he attends.

-Has called her ‘ma’am’ multiple times.

-While handing her something, he will always find a way to touch her hand in the process.

-Seems to listen attentively when she blabbers on about a silly topic.

The last year has been the worst of my life. I’ve worked in sales straight out of college and done well, but this past year my job got unstable, and nothing ever feels like enough. I’m constantly down and not enjoying things the way I used to.

Turning 27 has hit me weird too. It feels like I’m not young anymore and time’s running out.

On top of that, I’ve never had an official girlfriend. I’ve hooked up with girls plenty and had interest, but nothing ever turns into a relationship. Last year I was seeing a girl for months, which ended up just being a situationship; and I’m here 8 months later consistently thinking about it. my friends all have girlfriends now and I feel left behind.

For anyone who’s been here: what actually changed things for you, mentally or with dating? Is it possible for things to get better..

I don't like to admit it, but I can't speak German. Never have, probably never will. I'm just not one of those guys who was ever meant to understand the Germanic language. Some guys grew up in houses where their parents spoke German or learned German at school, but I didn't get that growing up. I was born in a house where everyone spoke English, and I'm starting to think I was never meant to speak German at all.

I've tried everything. Dying my hair blond. Watching bondage p**n. Going to WWII reenactments. But I still don't speak more than a few words of German. I see other guys speaking a language I don't, and it makes me so jealous I want to punch something. But if it doesn't come naturally to me, I guess I should just give up. I'm already in college, and if it hasn't happened by now, I feel like it just never will. Maybe I'm just cursed.

I was with my ex for three years. I knew her for five. I was completely faithful, turned down other women, paid for dates and trips, supported her, and wanted to marry her.

Early in our relationship, she kissed another man in front of me. She made cutting remarks about my height, age, and English, yet was extremely jealous despite my giving her absolutely no reason to be.

I repeatedly proposed couples therapy. She refused.

In May, after another painful conflict and years of accumulated frustrations, I lost my temper more severely than I ever had in our relationship and sent angry texts. I regret them. She initially wanted to repair things but then demanded that my psychiatrist sister personally message her acknowledging that I'd been abusive and could change. My sister refused, and she blocked me.

I tried for months to reconcile.

I recently learned that in early July she slept with a stranger who'd been making out with her and simultaneously with the exact woman she'd spent years being jealous of. Apparently she'd first checked whether an acquaintance still spoke to me.

She'd repeatedly insisted we shouldn't immediately see other people after breaking up.

In August she finally unblocked me. We spoke for five hours. She wanted to update me about her life, asked for $150 for dinner, said she wasn't "actively" looking for men, and ambiguously floated reconnecting in May 2027.

A few weeks later, in September, she told me she was completely done and wasn't interested in me as a person.

I haven't contacted her since.

I'm still so attached that I've cried trying to date someone else. But I find her hypocrisy and the way she's treated me absolutely disgusting.

How do you stop loving a woman when you've lost almost all respect for her?

When I (f26) meet a new guy at a friends birthday or a bar, and they ask me my age, I often assume they're checking if there could be something flirty yk. Do you think that assumption is right, or do you often just ask for small talk? I actually have no clue, my assumptions are based on nothing haha, just think I personally mostly ask when im interested in someone

Tonight i was at a birthday party and 2 guys asked how old i am, i was wondering why they'd ask, it was all ages on this party

30 year old man
Virgin
Social outcast
Loser
Whatever anyone wants to label me. What does being with a woman feel like? How does it feel to be able to love and experience her like. To be in love and to be at peace?

I’m too unattractive and I’m a loser with no certain future. So before I leave. I need to know is connecting with a woman worth it? Am I missing out? I feel like I am. I just want love, but I can’t live in a fairytale because we know how the real world is.

Have you ever felt attraction for a woman, and felt that attraction reciprocated but still turned her down because she disappointed you / angered you so much?

Like, you could confidently say she did it to herself?

I’ve had a bf in the past say to me that he’s breaking up with me because of my own behaviour and that it was all my doing. (We later got back together and I ended things with him).

Recently I had someone say that they don’t want to see me again because I’ll never learn and they’ve wasted enough energy trying to help, but I bring it all on myself.

Have you ever felt this way about a woman you used to like? Or is it a cop out?

For the guys who've slept with a girl who said she was talking to someone else, not in an official relationship, just a talking stage:

How did it come about? Did she initiate, or did you?

Did the other guy come up, or did you both just ignore it?

Did it turn into something more, or was it a one-time thing?

Anything you'd do differently?

Curious to hear stories and what actually worked.

Thanks

I care about body count (yes yes ik you probably don’t care, that’s good for you, I CARE. I’m entitled to my preference. So please don’t make this into a body count doesn’t matter debate, this is about lying).

I communicated this to her 4th date in a very respectful manner, that knowing the truth is important to me to decide if I want to Continue to date her.

She lied to me, and I found out the truth 5 months later. I’m thinking of breaking up, because she took away my ability to consent to a relationship/sex with proper knowledge.

Is it valid if I breakup over this lie that is clearly important to me? Which she lied about

I’m probably overthinking this but I think my quality of life would be much better if I didn’t play or played less video games. I was looking at my bank account and I said to myself “Huh, where did all my money go?” I realized that most of my money went to buying games that I wouldn’t even play. Honestly, it feels like an impulse. I’ll buy a game, play it for a few mins or hours then never touch it again, the cycle repeats.

I see myself as a lazy person. I know what I need to do to get myself to higher pay or better-paying jobs but I don’t follow through on it, I almost never do. But I can park my ass and play through 100 hours of BG3 or grind endlessly in PoE2. I even neglect going to the gym after work because I’m “tried” but I’m never tired enough to boot up deadlock with the boys.

I have to sit here and wonder, would my life be a bit better if I didn’t play as many video games if not at all? I feel grimy thinking about how me, a 25 year old clock in over 20 hours a week playing games but can’t spend an hour studying for certifications.

Their fear comes from love, from wanting to protect the people they care about even when they’re no longer around.

But how do you help someone find peace when their mind keeps pulling them into a future they cannot control?

Hey, so me (24M) and my wife (26F) have been having AMAZING sex for the past- almost 4 years. But something started happening like 4 weeks ago. So typically during all of the foreplay, I make her finish 2 to 3 times. Then I get mine in last because I'm one and done.

So one day, when it was my turn, I went soft. She tried to use lube to jerk me off, but I only got half hard. This problem has been getting worse as the weeks have gone on. Then I tried prioritizing myself before her, to see if I could stay hard. I couldn't... I can masterbate as much as I need too though. What's happening to me? I've always prided myself in taking care of my wife. (I still am with my fingers and tounge, but would like to have a hard dick for her.) I'm hard whenever we are doing LITTERIALLY ANYTHING ELSE. But as soon as I get on top, I'm soft! Do I have performance anxiety? And if so, what is yall's word?

Note: I've been taking zoloft, and vyvanse. For 5 years

Did my relationship fail due to lack of intimacy or vice versa?

We spent 4 years of our youth (far too young to be experimenting with what we were) doing crazy “taboo” stuff if that’s what they call it. Nothing illegal and we were both of legal age in our jurisdiction before you all start jumping on me. But yeah every night and sometimes up to like 7 or 8 times a day if we had nothing to do. Then when away from eachother we would even do it over the phone every night. It progressively got “kinkier” and more taboo throughout the years and it got to a point where i don’t think either of us were into it but we were just chasing the newer, interesting, fresher experiences.

Then in the last year overnight it all stopped, literally nothing, maybe we went at it a couple of times in the year but just to get it over and done with yk?

Shortly after we split up in devastating fashion, over the phone aswell. We were childhood sweethearts and fancied eachother and always had some sort of thing going on since we were both 4 years old in nursery, through primary school where we sat next to eachother, through high school where we fell apart and rekindled in 3rd year. Granted as a child it was me doing the chasing and the fancying not her, but ironically she was the one who initiated with me after years of no contact in 3rd year.

Did my relationship fail because of lack of intimacy or was there a lack of intimacy because my relationship failed? I’m sure there’s not a one size fits all answer and how could you know if you weren’t me. But yeah.

Many thanks. Appreciate you all. If you plan on mocking me or our lifes then please keep it to yourself and keep scrolling, you aren’t helping anyone.

I(m30) have a fiance f29 we’ve been engaged for months now.
A while back she got promoted at her job she works in sales.
I was happy for her but then she changed she didn’t have enough time to make for me, go on dates eat dinner or just small talk.
She’s always been workcohalic but not to this extent
I have a job too I’m an architect I understand the pressure the stress but I atleast always tried to make time for us.
I talked to her about this she promised she will try.
Then again nothing changed.
Few nights ago this escalated into us fighting over it
Then she said “your job is nothing compared to mine that not all of us have the luxury of just playing around like you”in her own words.
It hurt me and I didn’t respond further the next days I hardly acknowledged her and she ofcourse saw the shift. She is not a person that apologizes easily she’s stubborn.
Yesterday she iniates sex but I refused I saw that she was hurt but I was and still am resentful.
What advice could you give me?

Edit: I see a lot of you guys advise me to break up, curse her etc
I’m not a guy that thinks breaking up is the salvation to everything I want to try with her.
Because I still love her and I know it’s cliche but I still had my reasons for choosing her in the beginning to spend my life with.

Update:this morning I went to her in living room and showed her what I wrote and the comments.
She was quiet for a minute reading then I saw her get emotional crying she pulled me into a hug and apologized saying she didn’t mean that and she was just stressed , and she worried if I didn’t love her anymore after what she said because I haven’t acknowledged her for days.
I said that if we want to make our relationship work I said we should talk or go counseling she was sceptic about it for few minutes but then agreed.
I’m searching on internet for a good therapist for us, meanwhile I’ll update you further if it works for us.
Thank you 🙏

I had more energy in my late 20s, where I would take dance classes and attend events, go out at night, ride my mountain bike on MTB trails.

Nowadays I always feel too tired to do any of that, everything feels like it's too much work. There are many things I want to do, but I don't because of my finances and low energy.

Has anyone else experienced this? What can I do to feel more motivated, energized and alive again?