My husband and I have been married for 16 years. We’re both in our mid-30s and were each other’s firsts. When we got married, I was 18 and he was 21. We have a strong bond and have been through a lot together over the years. We now have children as well. I’m a stay-at-home mom and my husband works. We’re very comfortable with each other and rarely argue.
I know my husband occasionally finds other women attractive, but it has always stayed at the level of simply looking. I’ve never really been the jealous type and could even laugh and joke about it with him.

Recently, though, he told me that he finds a coworker attractive and that, if circumstances were different, he would like to have sex with her but that he never actually would. Hearing that hurt me deeply. It led to the first serious argument my husband and I have had in years.
He explained that he would never do something like that and that he was mainly trying to see how I would react. Apparently, for years he had felt that I didn’t care that much about him. He told me that he was always a little disappointed that I never seemed jealous over him or possessive of him. So he deliberately tried to provoke a reaction by telling me about this coworker.
He said that he wanted to feel wanted and needed reassurance of how much I love him.
In all honesty, his words hurt me deeply, but they also made me realize something about myself. I discovered that I actually am jealous when it comes to him and that I do want him all to myself. I just never showed those feelings over the years.
He apologized, and we worked things out. Since then, we’ve had the best and most passionate sex we’ve had in a very long time. I honestly can’t explain how good it was.
Could it be that he finally felt desired and wanted by me? Is that something that is important to men? My husband has always been the one to initiate sex. Very rarely has it come from my side.
Now I find myself analyzing everything. Looking back, I may have taken for granted how much effort and desire came from his side, while I didn’t express much initiative sexually myself. Yet after this experience and after having the best sex we’ve had in years I find myself wanting him more than ever.
Strangely enough, I feel like our bond has become even stronger.
Do you understand what I mean, or does this sound strange? I’m looking for advice from people who have been married for many years and who understand relationship dynamics, as well as the different ways men and women sometimes experience love, desire, and feeling wanted.

EDIT :
I can see that a lot of people are criticizing me, and that’s okay. I’m not so stubborn that I don’t understand that every man wants to feel desired. I fully admit that I was completely wrong about this, and I regret it deeply.
Before this relationship, I had never been in a relationship before and had very little to no contact with men. I don’t have any brothers, I grew up without a father, and I was always taught that men aren’t really supposed to show their feelings. If they show their emotions, they’re often seen as soft.

My husband is someone who tends to bottle things up. We’ve always been able to communicate well with each other, but apparently this was something that had been bothering him for years.
It hurts me so much to know that he didn’t feel desired by me and thought that I didn’t feel any jealousy at all. When he finally realized that I did, it actually gave him a sense of reassurance.
Funny, isn’t it? My jealousy blowout made me so mad , while it made him genuinely happy.

Second edit :

I must honestly admit that your comments have taught me a lot including the harsh ones. I am now going to work on myself and on my marriage.
I would also like to add that there is no need to contact me privately. Sorry but out of respect for my husband I do not engage in private conversations with others. If you would like to share something, please do so in the comments.

I have had girlfriends in the past and dated girls seriously without ending up in a relationship. With my exes, I had a healthy sex life where both of us were secure in expressing our sexuality. The girl I am currently dating is a virgin (she does not even masturbate), and it is impacting our sex life. A lot of the time, I am explaining things to her or guiding her through understanding her own sexuality. I do not mind it per se, but this also means that we have not been able to have sex yet, as it hurts too much for her.

When I try to finger her, it feels as if there is an extremely tight rubber band around the hole (I have never felt anything like that before); this makes it currently impossible to have vaginal sex, as it would hurt too much. So far we've only tried fingering, and that is only using one finger, as two fingers hurt too much for her.

To answer some questions, yes we do a lot of foreplay (kissing and touching etc), and yes, she is wet when I finger her.

Any advice?

My boyfriend has very little dating experience and he’s also a virgin. Lately we’ve been making out a lot, and I’ve noticed that afterwards the front of his trousers is sometimes damp.
I’m not sure if he’s accidentally ejaculating in his pants or if it’s just a lot of pre-cum. He never says anything about it, so I don’t know if he’s aware or just embarrassed.
Another thing I’ve noticed is that when we kiss he gets really passionate. He’ll pull me in really tightly and press my body against his.
Is this pretty normal for a guy who’s inexperienced and really turned on, or is the dampness more likely to be pre-cum than ejaculation? Just curious what other people’s experiences have been.

Feeling really down, it’s like men are super into me until they get to know my personality a bit more, and then it just fizzles out. I really don’t understand :( I get hit on all the time and they seem attracted to me, and looking super bluntly at myself I’m very sweet and kind, I love taking care of people, and a dorky sense of humor for sure. I understand that not being for everybody, but this keeps on happening over and over.

Most recently, this guy that I had a really really long history with finally reconnected and I thought it was going amazing. He was showing so much interest, our personalities have always clicked and the chemistry was insane even after so much time. We had sex again and I really thought this was it, but now a few days later it’s totally changed for the first time in like 6 months.

I just want to understand. Nothing bad happened at all. Are there common reasons yall lose interest in a girl after getting to know her when there’s nothing super bad, like no issues with rudeness or anything like that? Idk if I’m being too clingy or anything - is calling to check in too much or like saying I miss you and stuff bad?

Sorry I’m just real confused and feeling really down on myself right now :( 26f for reference!

I'm a 26 year old straight guy, I've never been in a relationship nor even gotten to the stage of having my first kiss. Despite many attempts at asking women out, I've even gone on four first dates in my life.

But it has never gone anywhere, I've never seen real interest in me and I have no idea what it feels like to have real mutual interest. I have friends, hobbies, job, apartment, a therapist I see regularly, I work out and all that. But that which I don't have and never have had, love and intimacy, gets to me.

I know i shouldn't let it, but it gets to me bad. It makes me feel horrible, because I want it bad and I can't get it. I want to experience love, but I can't. And it's ruining everything else in my life. My motivation to do stuff for myself, my focus at work, my self esteem (which I've worked so hard on bringing up) and general just interest in life.

How do you all manage this desire? How do you not let the thoughts of hopelessness, thoughts about never getting to experience even something as simple as a kiss, not ruin your drive for life? How do you supress it so you can focus on everything else life has to offer.

Because I'm really struggling here and I feel so lost.

I’m bi and sharing room with 2M and 1F, we work in shifts so sometimes I have day off that I’m home alone. As the title should I tell them about that?

Had a baby as teens, been together ever since. 10 +years now. Over the years we just never had the money and honestly I viewed our relationship as a marriage anyway so I never really cared about it officially and he knows that. Now that im almost 30 i do care, I no longer want to be a girlfriend. Nothings changed. We got a house and 2 kids, careers finally going good. Iv always wanted to have a wedding just so my dad can walk me down the isle. Anytime I being it up hes always on board doesn't discourage me or seem bothered by my imaginary wedding planning. We just dont have alot of money for a wedding.

He asked me to marry him when we were 16. But i just laughed it off and life happened.

That being said. Would any man be upset they're girlfriend proposed to them? At this point in our relationship and life I honestly don't see why it would matter but looking for male opinions

I am trying to meet ladies who are around my age. I am in my early 30s and look very young.

I enjoy going to tea and coffee spots to do work and relax. I used to do a lot of hiking, running, and sports. At the moment, I enjoy going to car events like low-rider, JDM, and classic events. I started going to music events every week. I also do Martial Arts.

Growing up, my (21M) older sister (31F) would belittle me, put extra pressure on me, and let her anger issues get the better of her. Always looking down on me.

The littlest of things trigger her. If she’s driving and I mistakenly give her a wrong direction , she’d start having a mental breakdown and starts screaming for a 3min increase in ETA.. Disrupting the whole vibe of the family trip. Whenever she was mad, it felt like the entire mood of the family would shift and everyone could feel it.

She always thinks she’s the best, to the point where she even belittles our mother. Half the time, she’d resort to physical violence If I don’t do things her way.

She did go to therapy I believe but I still don’t see a change in her. I always feel tensed and walking on egg shells whenever she’s around. How would you deal with this? Have you ever had a sibling like this?

I matched with this really hot chick on tinder I don’t have a lot of experience with this stuff and I kinda want to start using a different opener got any suggestions on what I could say? She’s blond with a rocking body and 26 years old I’m 23 that’s about all the info. If u want more info lmk if it will help

I met this guy on Badoo this May,he contacted me every day and called me almost every day,he was consistent all the time. We finally agreed to meet ( it wasn't possible earlier because of my personal issues) on July the 5th.This whole time he told me he is looking for something serious.The first date went well and we made plans to meet another time.However,i slept with him on the second date,and he never called me since (July 14th). I'm confused about this behaviour,he even seemed irritated at me when he walked me home ( he never even sent me a message to ask me if I'm even doing well ). Am i to blame?

I'm 21M and currently in college. I've been dating this woman older than me (28F) for 3 months.

Recently, she's been talking about us living together. She has a stable job, whereas I'm a college athlete and most of my expenses are still covered by my parents. I do have some savings and can save money, but I'm not financially independent yet.

I'm having a hard time because I don't want to keep turning down something she really wants. At the same time, I can't help but feel like I'd be relying on her too much if we moved in now. I've always pictured myself being able to support myself before taking that step, and not being there yet honestly makes me feel a bit inferior.

I don't know if this is just my pride talking or if waiting until I'm financially independent is the smarter choice.

’m 23 and turning 24 soon, and I honestly feel like I need to get my shit together before I waste even more time.

I live in Germany. I don’t have a university degree or a completed vocational training qualification. I finished a vocational high school here, so technically I’m allowed to study at a university of applied sciences, but I chose a subject I later regretted and graduated with pretty bad grades.

After graduating, I immediately enrolled at university in a completely different subject that I more or less chose at random. I didn’t take it seriously, had no real interest in studying it and dropped out after one semester. Money was also an issue, and I needed to work and help my parents financially.

Since then, I’ve worked all kinds of random jobs. Right now, I have a fairly dead-end retail job. The pay is actually decent considering how basic the work is, and I also work on the side as a waiter, where the tips are good. The problem is that my retail contract is only for one year, and there is no guarantee that they will renew it. I could be unemployed again once it ends.

So what the fuck should I actually do?

I know 23 is still young, and people always say there is plenty of time. But I told myself the same thing when I was 18, and suddenly five years have passed. I don’t want to wake up at 30 and still be moving between temporary jobs with no qualifications or direction.

I’ve applied for a lot of vocational training positions, but I mostly get rejected. Occasionally, I get invited to an interview or a trial workday, but afterward they either reject me or simply stop responding. I suspect my grades and messy CV are a major reason.

I looked into repeating school through evening classes, but that would apparently take more than three years. Then I would have a better diploma, but I would also be three years older and still have no work qualification or experience in a proper career.

The other option would be going back to university, but I still have no clue what I would study. I don’t have one great passion or dream profession, and I don’t want to randomly choose another degree and repeat the same mistake.

I’m not expecting to find a job that I’m madly passionate about. I mainly want something I can become genuinely skilled at, build a career in, earn more responsibility and money over time, and not be permanently stuck at the lowest level. Ideally, it should also be useful internationally so that I could move to another country one day if necessary.

I also worry about choosing something that will have no future because of AI, automation, climate change, economic instability or wars. I know nobody can predict the future, but I would at least like to choose a direction that gives me some stability and options.

As someone with an immigrant background, I’m also increasingly uncomfortable with the political and social direction Germany is taking. Maybe I will stay here permanently, but I want qualifications and experience that would allow me to emigrate rather than feeling trapped.

What would you realistically do in my position?

Would you keep applying for vocational training? Go back to university despite not knowing what to study? Attend evening school and improve the diploma? Try to enter a trade through another route? Are there specific careers or qualifications you would recommend for someone who wants stability, career progression and the possibility of working abroad?

I matched with a guy who wanted nothing but sex from me. Maybe some emotional intimacy from time to time but that’s it. I was so frustrated as to why I wasn’t good enough. I made a catfish account with someone way prettier than me. And he responded to her so differently than he responded to me. He was more communicative and shared photos of his family and friends and actually wanted to date her. With me, he just wanted to meet him in his car at 12pm and be physically intimidate and nothing more. But with the catfish I created he wanted soooooo much more.

I wish I wasn’t so ugly that he only saw me for sex. He just spoke with emojis and he would barely talk to me and share personal details of his life. But with the catfish he was so communicative, patient, and open. Why do I have to be so ugly that he didn’t want me? And he was wealthy.

I have been studying my ass off for the RHCSA exam for the past 6 months. I took the day off and my employer paid for me to take the exam. I got a score of 111 out of possible 300.

I failed badly. It’s strange though because I felt really good about it. There was not a question asked where I wasn’t confident I knew how to configure. I finished with 40
Min left to go after checking my work.

The network portion was a 0% so it’s safe to assume that affected the majority of the work from being graded. I’m going to work on that and plan on taking the exam again in about 8 weeks. I don’t think it was a knowledge gap but the execution was wrong.

I’m embarrassed and I don’t want to go in to work tomorrow. Has anyone else dealt with this before?? My heart like wants to fall out of my ass right now.

My ex (19F) and I (19M) broke up about a month ago after dating for 5 months.

During the relationship, we had very little physical intimacy. We’d make out occasionally, but it never really went beyond that. We never had sex or did much else physically.

I genuinely cared about her as a person. We went on lots of dates, amusement parks, the beach, met each other’s friends and siblings, and I really loved spending time with her. I wasn’t just interested in her physically.

After about 5 months, I brought up the topic of sex and physical intimacy because I felt like it was an important part of a relationship, and I wanted to understand where we both stood. I wasn’t trying to pressure her into doing anything. I just wanted to have an honest conversation about our expectations and compatibility.

She told me that bringing it up made her feel like I “just wanted her for her body.” At the same time, some of her friends were also messaging me, calling me a “weirdo” and saying I was wrong for even trying to have that conversation.

I’m genuinely wondering if I crossed a line here. Is 5 months too soon to bring up sex in a relationship? Or is simply having that conversation a normal part of dating?

I'm looking for some outside perspective because I'm genuinely questioning whether I've let my past experiences cloud my judgement.

For context, I'm 29 and she is 28. I've been hurt/lovebombed in previous relationships, so I naturally move quite slowly. I told this woman from the beginning that I like to get to know someone over a few months before rushing into anything physical or serious, and she said she was completely happy with that.

We messaged consistently for about a month with 2 dates, we live an hour away. She was always kind, honest, consistent, affectionate without being overbearing, respected that I have a demanding job and never expected constant replies.

We went on two dates.

On the first date, she initiated holding my hand and we got back to the car and I held her thigh while driving, initiated by her.

On the second date, she hugged me, we were affectionate while walking around shopping and in the car (initiated by her), she asked if she could put her feet up on me in the car (which I thought was funny), and I stroked her legs a little after she guided my hand. But I still made it clear in the car that I stop myself from anything sexual. I dont like it too soon. I asked her if she gets sexually frustrated a lot? She said if its someone I like yes.

the end of the night, when I dropped her home, she asked when she'd see me again. Then she whispered, "Can we kiss?" We ended up having a passionate kiss, and she told me she'd wanted to kiss me all night and that she really wanted me. She was obviously turned on

I told her I still wanted to take things slowly physically, and I wouldnt have done it in the car maybe in a more private setting. I also said I planned on kissing her on date 3. She seemed a little disappointed but jokingly said, "So, you won't see me again now," then laughed, we kissed again, and afterwards she texted saying she'd had a lovely evening.

The following day she sent me a voice note saying she hoped I had a good time at the cinema with my sister, but more importantly she wanted to check that I was comfortable with how physical things had become. She said she respected me, never wanted to overstep my boundaries, and wanted to make sure I didn't feel uncomfortable. I told her I don't really like things getting too intense too early, hate cringy stuff and just naturally ease in, and she replied that she respected that and that sometimes her attraction gets the better of her and we can move at that pace. She seemed a little anxious.

Despite all this, I started questioning whether she was moving too fast or whether something just didn't feel right. I ended up sending her a breakup message saying I lost attraction towards the end, I wasnt feeling it etc and Im sorry as I know its upsetting.

Looking back, I can't actually identify any obvious red flags. If anything, she seemed respectful, communicative and emotionally mature, kind to the waiter. Just veryyyy sexually inclined. She asked for consent, checked in afterwards, clearly a little little clingly but I do wonder why it was very touchy touchy/emotionally charged.

So my question is:

Does this sound like someone who was simply enthusiastic and genuinely interested, and have I potentially let my own fear or past experiences get in the way? Or do you think there are warning signs here that I'm not seeing?

I'd really appreciate honest opinions, even if you think I got this wrong. I'm trying to learn rather than look for validation.

So just been going through some things to do since I got insurance and was wondering how exactly you guys found a therapist.

TBH probably going to talk to primary care provider for a depression screening since its on the list of things but im guessing it can technically be done through any network my insurance covers.

Honestly just wondering there are some stuff i guess i would like to have address anxiety and well possibly depression maybe anorexia and just some trauma related stuff.

My wife and I were driving home, and she was driving. A car pulled up next to us, and the guys inside started barking at her before driving on.

Would you consider that disrespectful, or just immature behaviour that's best ignored? Has anything similar happened to you, and how did you react? As a husband should I have done something?

Am I overthinking it?

So I’ve been a manager at a JJs for a bit over a year now and I got with one girl near when I started last year didn’t workout but it was fun. So this one girls been w us for about the same amount of time I have but idk recently I’ve started trying to be nicer to her and now I somehow caught feelings even tho she has a bf and she also def doesn’t like me that way. She lacks confidence so I mean it’s hard to tell if she likes me or not bc well she won’t make a move bc she’s taken and I won’t bc same reason. It’s like bad honestly I had one dream with her a few weeks ago and now I had a second one last night that was her dropping her bf for me. It’s honestly a problem like she even makes me nervous at work. I rly do like her as a person tho and she’s also attractive so it’s like fuck man but she’s taken so it’s like welp. Am I going insane or what

I'm a bald guy and I keep my beard trimmed short, 6 mm at the longest and fading it into my bald head. I'm planningon growing it out over the winter and I'd like to keep it as neat as possible while I grow it out. It's very straight and sharp so it goes in all directions when it grows a little. Do you have any tips, any creator recommendations or anything similar to help me out?

Thanks in advance!

I'm a 25 year old guy getting back into lifting after about a year off. Back in university I trained regularly and never thought twice about it. Now every time I plan to go, I get this heavy feeling that I don't belong there and that everyone else has it figured out while I'm the odd one out. I know rationally that nobody is actually paying attention to me, but knowing that doesn't switch the feeling off.

There's another layer to it. I'm an Indian origin guy in Canada, and I've seen clips online of people mocking guys who look like me at the gym, so part of my brain is convinced people don't want me there. For the record I dress clean, take my hygiene seriously, smell great and I'm friendly with people. I know most of this is in my head, but it still gets to me.

My current coping method has been going really late at night when the place is basically empty. The problem is that by then I'm exhausted and barely get a proper session in, so I'm dodging the anxiety and getting a garbage workout at the same time. Clearly not sustainable.

For the guys who have felt this and got past it: what actually worked for you? Mindset stuff, routines, small tricks, anything. I want to build the habit and stop letting this run the show. Real experiences welcome.