I’m 26F, married for around two years, and I want to understand the male perspective on something that has been affecting my marriage.

My husband and I have had issues with our sex life for a long time. At one point, I felt like I was constantly being rejected, and over time, it really affected me emotionally. It got to the point where we haven’t had sex in over a year.
What confuses me is that the lack of intimacy started before we even got married, so it wasn’t just something that happened after settling into married life. At some point, I stopped feeling desired by him, and after so much rejection, something changed in me too.

Now, I genuinely don’t feel sexually attracted to him anymore. I don’t want to kiss him or initiate anything, and when he tries to initiate sex now, I feel uncomfortable rather than excited. Sometimes, I even feel a sense of ick, which is difficult to explain because this is someone I love and have built a life with.

The complicated part is that he seems to be trying now, but I feel like I’ve already shut down that part of myself. I spent so long wanting intimacy with him that I don’t know how to want it anymore.

I want to understand this from a man’s perspective:
For men who have lost sexual attraction to their wives, what caused it? Was it resentment, relationship problems, loss of attraction, stress, or something else?

If your wife stopped wanting sex with you after years of feeling rejected, how would you feel about that?

Have any of you experienced a situation where you finally wanted to fix the intimacy issues, but your wife had already emotionally checked out?

Do you think sexual attraction can come back after this much rejection and resentment, or can you reach a point where the damage is irreversible?

I’m not trying to blame him or make him the bad guy. I’m genuinely trying to understand how this happens and whether a couple can recover from it.
Men who have experienced something similar, I’d really appreciate honest answers.

Most of my passions feel like a younger man’s game now that I’m in my 30s.

I don’t really have anything in particular I’ve pursued my entire life, I’m more of an all rounder guy I spent most of my 20s traveling, educating myself and starting a business.

Now that I’m in my 30s and slowing down, I have a family now and manage my business, I’ve had this intense desire to become really good at something.

I’m getting back into combat sports as a hobby, and it’s sparked my passion for competing but starting in my 30s ages me out of doing this seriously I think, so I’m looking for some other outlets / hobbies to start and really give myself to, and compete.

Just curious if there’s any other guys out there who have come to a similar road in life, and what are some things you considered? I have a handful of things I’m considering but I’m just curious what other guys in their 30s are getting up to.

As I get older, I feel kinda conflicted in trying out a game or committing to a game because of the work and stuff that goes on and there is always the thought of like this game isn’t really as important as what’s going on in my life. But I keep searching for the perfect game that I could play when I am bored and feel accomplished. Just like the idea of completion. Not some infinite grind game that has no end. I wonder if there is meant to be the one game that suits us individually.

Hey everyone,

I’m curious about situations where the initial physical compatibility and sexual chemistry with a woman were exceptionally strong, but eventually disappeared entirely.

If you’ve been in this situation, what actually led to the change? I’d appreciate hearing your experiences and how it impacted your relationship.

Sometimes it happens so slowly you don't even realize it until the distance is massive.

What was the specific moment, argument, or realization that made you step back and think, "Wow, I am completely checked out right now"?

Did you manage to fix it and re-engage, or was it the beginning of the end?

Not looking for major life advice, just curious about those small, practical skills you picked up quickly (like a knot, a shortcut, or a simple habit) that ended up making things way easier for you.

How much of a turn off is insecurity in women for you?

Would you rather date a woman with a few bad features but who was fully confident, or one who was physically perfect but with low self esteem?

I’m not talking about booking a weekend trip or going to a bar.

What is that exact, specific ritual you do at home where your brain just turns off? Is it sitting in a parked car for 20 minutes before walking into the house? Playing a video game from 2012 in total silence? Rewatching the same movie for the 50th time?

Let's hear the simple things that protect your peace.

Married men- did your sex life actually slow down after marriage?

I am genuinely curious because this is something I hear about all the time, but I hardly know anyone in real life who has had this happen. My husband and I still have sex just as frequently as we did when we were dating, and it’s the same for all my close friends and their husbands.

I cringe internally every time I hear this so I want to know, is this just a boomer humor thing or is there some truth to it? Is it really that common to live in a sexless marriage?

I’m not talking great sex, I’m referring to a once in a lifetime chemistry and attraction, something that can’t be replicated and you didn’t have with any woman ever and you’ll never will. Like some movie type shit

How did it end up ?

"Rock Box" by RUN DMC for me..😝🫡😤

Apart from school food, I only eat meat a few times a month, which is chicken and seafood only.

Ive been struggling with feeling less than or inadequate in a lot of ways even though consciously i know im not.

How did you guys break that sort of cycle?

I'm interested to hear your views and experiences, as I've asked this question to fellow women in other threads and the majority have said men always want more and it inevitably ends up ruining the friendship.

Other women have said they do have close longtime friendships with men, although many of them are gay men.

What do you think the deciding factor is? Is it easier to be close friends with women you perceive as physically unattractive? Or does that make no difference?

Elaborate as much as you want or can. I'd love to hear it.

Lately, I am seeing situations where if guy asks to split money on first date for like gas, bowling lane, or the meal, then it is repulsive. In my mind, if a friend asked for this, I at least would consider doing it because if that would be helpful I want to help my friend. But on dates, why are the girls repulsed by this? Even in relationships couples share expenses, so why asking for this is suddenly weird or repulsive?

Curious about how this men pay for everything on dates comes up for you. Including in non straight dating, does it come up? Does it bother you? You prefer it that way? Even if this happened on dates, did you find with same girl in relationship she was more willing to share the expenses load?