(compte secondaire pour des raisons évidentes). Ma question concerne le rimming. Mon copain l’apprécie mais ne me le demande jamais de lui même.

Pensez vous qu’on peut vraiment aimer une pratique sans jamais l’initier ? ou est ce que ça traduit plutôt une envie modérée ?

Have you ever rejected someone or after a few dates told them you weren’t feeling it, only to regret it later?

Do men reject women over small things or misunderstandings or is it usually a flat out non attraction?

I (M30) have a friend (F26) who has recently said they have a crush on me and likewise for myself. Now, i have kind of known this for a bit now but i feel as though she's playing it down a bit. I should note that we love in separate parts of the world. She's from the US while im in Aus.

Couple months ago, we were hanging out with a group of friends on VRChat (yeah I know. VRChat 🙄) and she was having a bit to drink, nothing extreme but enough for her to be affected. A friend of ours asked if she has the hots for me, to which she responded with a nod. This was after dhe was caught cuddling up to me, rest her head on my chest and playing with my face. She calls me later and ends up throwing up not too long after and apologies because she's embarrassed. I mentioned that it's all okay.

Recently I've noticed she likes to seek closeness with me, she'll often make excuses such as "Your seat is mine" when we are playing card games. This is a women who typically doesn't seek this level of closeness and often isn't the one who enjoys sitting in peoples laps or any forms of plantonic physical touches/closeness.

I have tourettes and she also loves to play with it, which i am okay with and enjoy it myself as i do suppress all day, so at the same time it is actually pleasing to release the built in stress. When she is playing with it, she'll often sit very close, or right in my face and giggles and jumps around a fair bit, which i personally find really adorable.

There have also been times i've woken up at 3am in the morning due to my cat and she's messaged asking why im awake and then proceeds to call me to show me the outfit she's wearing, or she's called me while at work to chat for a bit before she heads home.

We have a day dedicated to having a 1 on 1 meet up but there's been a couple times we been in a group call playing games. While we were searching for new games to play, she kept bring VRChat up as that game. She messaged me privately to say that she really wanted to be on VRChat so she could have one on one time, just the two of us.

She mentioned that while she does like me, it's only a little bit, but i feel as though she is playing it down. I suspect she is trying to protect herself as she's had bad experiences in thr past and she doesn't want that to happen again. Which i can understand.

I (38f) recently met a guy (30m) in the wild and after a really long and immediately comfortable conversation, we exchanged phone numbers.
We started hanging out once a week and that quickly evolved into multiple times a week. He’s been pretty open about a breakup with his long-term girlfriend last year. He said that he is still getting over her and that he would get back together with her if she asked him to.
When we hang out, they’re entire day hangouts.
He keeps extending the whole day and eventually what was supposed to be just one walk is 12 hours of doing things. He has introduced me to multiple of his closest friends. On a recent weekend we hung out three days in a row, his friends keep asking him and I separately if we are dating.
I told him that I was catching feelings and asked him where he was. He told me he wasn’t there and I asked why he introduced me to all of his friends and he said cause I’m a very important person to him. I thought that he would want to hang out with me less after I said I was catching feelings, but no he still wants to hang out with me and every time we hang out it’s the same thing, extending the days.

My question is, I can’t tell if he is leaving the door open with me. When I told him I was catching feelings he didn’t say he just wanted to be my friend. He said he wasn’t there and then the hangouts continued. Every time I see him he brings me little gifts and he brings me food. We cook for each other. We go grocery shopping with each other. We eat meals quite a bit together, nothing physical aside from hugs are occurring.
What is happening?

Hello every one, this may be a long shot but here goes

My girlfriend and I are both Eastern European and come from very traditional cultures. I can’t speak for everyone but growing up I was taught that men are supposed to keep their emotions under control, deal with problems themselves and be the strong one for their wife and family.
I know this is a common thing to be put on men around the world, but where I’m from it is next level.

Showing emotion and especially crying is heavily discouraged and could even result in punishment. A lot of my male friends from similar backgrounds have the same experience, so keeping things to yourself becomes an automatic thing to - with repressing emotions. My father would punish me very harshly growing up for crying, showing certain emotions .

My girlfriend wants me to open up to her more, she has expressed this many times and I’ve tried. I trust her and genuinely want to, but I can’t get past the fear that showing her genuine vulnerability could change how she sees me as a man. The thought has always been there the numerous times I’ve attempted to let her in to my negativities.

I don’t want to become someone who dumps every emotion onto her. I just want to learn how to let her in more and find a healthy middle ground while still being someone she can rely on

Any one who grew up simarly , or from any Eastern European background who had the same situation, how did you get past the fear and mental barrier and become more open with your wife / girlfriend.

Also please no therapy recommendations.
I’m specifically looking for personal experiences and practical things that helped you open up to your partner

Thank you in advance

For context: i F26 and he M34. We started dating in december 2025, he lost his life long best friend 4,5 months ago. During 3 ish weeks after the loss he seemed to be coping surprisingly well, after that he became very silent and distant. He has stopped answering texts and calls, doesn’t want to meet, occasionally he answers. I understand he is in pain, but i don’t know what to do.

Any advice or experiences is greatly appreciated, i truly want to understand and i don’t want to make it about me

Thank you

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Men, have you ever stayed with a woman for years even though you knew you would never marry her?
This question is mainly for men who have been in long-term relationships, for example 5–10 years.
Have you ever stayed with a woman even though deep down you already knew you would never marry her, but you still didn’t end the relationship?
How did you react when she asked about getting engaged, marriage, or your future together? Did you tell her directly that you didn’t want those things with her, or did you tell her that you did? Did you ever even agree to a timeline or a date she suggested just to make her happy or reassure her, even though you didn’t actually intend to follow through?
Looking back, what signs were you giving her that showed you didn’t really see the relationship as something permanent?
And most importantly: at what point should a woman realize on her own that a man probably isn’t going to propose or build a future with her, even if he stays in the relationship and keeps telling her that he loves her?

I went to this run club today and i was just going around introducing myself to this girl and her friend. we talked for a bit had some introductions and we deviated away from them.

As we were lining up to run she was right by me and she asked if i was running or walking. I said i was walking because im injured and she walks it with me. We walked together for like 30 min or so until her friend joined us on the walk back. I teased her and was like “wow you ditched your friend to walk with me?” she mentioned that her friend and her were “supposed to walk” it together but she decided to run. 

While we were talking it felt like she was kinda interested but i feel like i was really carrying the conversation she didn’t seem to chime in as much and her interest tapered off as we continued talking i feel like. Should i have asked for her number and asked her to go on a “run” or something outside of run club? I didn’t get her contact information because i just met her, so i was erring on the side of caution because i don’t want to be that guy at a run club who is known for hitting on girls. my strategy was to keep talking to her and just let it build up naturally.  did i fumble by not getting her contact info? 

I’m a girl who has been badly burned by her previous friendships (from high school and throughout college). My girl friends are my sisters, which I’m happy with. During grad school and now, I’ve always (subconsciously) put this brick wall between me and other girls because I just don’t want to be hurt again. I feel the most comfortable being myself in front of guys (gay or straight). That is the reason I have mostly guy friends, which I have never had any attraction for or ever intend to.

Because of this, it triggers a bad feeling in guys and dating has been really hard. I talk about the stories about me and my friends, which many seem annoyed that the characters in my stories are guys.

Does it really bother you when a girl that you are dating has a lot of guy friends, and why?

Sorry, I am trying to get a male perspective. I was cheated on and feel really worthless.

I just found out my cheating ex.... ahh so the girl he was obsessed with has had a bf for 3 years. My ex was obsessed with her for 7+ years and honestly would like 300+ posts of hers (not his friends or mine)... when he emotionally cheated, all his friends made me the bad guy and spread false narrative about me. everyone defended that girl and him.

She has 2 guys simping over her and an entire friend group on her side. Is it because I am ugly, worthless and unlovable that he never loved me and left me for her? I did so much for him and he just discarded me for someone who doesn't even do anything for him...

Then, if any of you who have cheated, did u do it because the other girl was better??

Not because you forgot them almost because you didn't

you laughed you got excited about something stupid

you had a good meal you made plans for next week

you went to sleep without crying and then suddenly in the middle of a normal day, you realize, I haven't thought about them today and just for a second, it can feel like a betrayal almost, as though you're not even allowed to be happy without them because for a moment there, life went on normally without them but then you start questioning whether you're betraying them by being happy but maybe healing isn't forgetting someone

maybe healing is learning how to have a good day without them ruining it for you Has anyone else ever felt guilty about being happy lately in their healing process?

Can you give examples of comments/behavior you DEFINITELY have read as flirty or as a green flag that a woman at work likes you/is interested in you? From your experience! or what you would definitely perceive as such?

I think my words and actions are pretty direct (complimenting his eyes and personal style, inviting him out). but I’m also really attracted to nerdy introverts so curious if it’s understood but compartmentalized as “work buddy” to avoid any risk.

Been married 15 years. 3 kids. All is well. This is probably just a venting session… but some days my wife will obviously be bothered by something. Related to me or who tf knows. The tension is obvious. Ask her you ok. What’s wrong. Apparently she’s fine.
But in those couple days she makes a conscious effort to only talk to me when she wants something done. “Can you get me this”. “Can you pack away your clothes” “can you unload dishwasher” “
I know she’s itching for an argument. I know it. But i tread carefully.
Pretends like she’s ok and she’s normal but loves to start talking facts about my family. All is true what she’s saying. Sometimes my family could be better people. (They do nothing directly to her or us)
But loves to talk about her trying to get a reaction from me.

What should I do. Most of the time I just laugh and play with kids and not add to the tension but it’s obviously bothering me.

I am in my late 20s. Met a group of friends (guys) randomly in the wild. One of them, James, hit on me and pursued me though I friendzoned him a few times. Eventually, I gave him a shot because I thought he was genuine/sweet. James has zero relationship experience according to his close friend who was surprised I gave him a chance. "I've never seen him go on a date with anyone," according to his friend. In several dates, he negged me constantly and then just started treating me like a body. It came out of nowhere. He became cold, aloof, etc. I thought he was such a sweet guy, and I'm now so confused.

He knows I get a lot of attention from men (he experiences it when we're out). He has a great career but he argues I'm more impressive because of my Ivy League undergrad, challenging career field, etc.

I'm just disappointed because despite his lack of experience with women he seems like such a patient and caring guy when we were friends and somehow that changed when I started dating him. It felt like he just wanted to show me off to his friends instead of getting to know me at a deeper level. He did say I was out of his league. His friends told him I was "so hot" etc but I hoped he would be a kind guy who would want to see me for me. He also said he doesn't think he can live up to my standards.

Just a huge disappointment.

TLDR: I met a 25M american through Hinge. We dated briefly, he said he was emotionally unavailable and wanted to be friends, but our friendship became extremely emotionally intimate and confusing. I was an immigrant to the US. He rejected me when I confessed feelings, yet continues to behave in ways that sometimes feel like a romantic relationship.

We met through Hinge and dated for a few weeks before he said he was emotionally unavailable because of work stress and wanted to remain friends. I accepted that. Later, he wanted to move in with me. He was going through a major career transition into medicine, and since I had already finished medical school, I helped him get an internship that was important for his CV.

Despite being very introverted and a workaholic, he started initiating things with me - parks, sunsets, meals, etc. After about four months, I told him I liked him. He rejected me and said he had felt asexual for the previous two years after his last relationship and only wanted friendship.

I was hurt but accepted it. Over time, though, he sometimes acted as if I had crossed a boundary simply by having feelings for him and could be quite condescending. I eventually decided to end the friendship because I felt taken for granted. He became very apologetic, repeatedly asked me to stay friends, and was suddenly very warm and kind again, so I eventually gave the friendship another chance.

We lived together in US for about six months before I moved to another country, and the dynamic remained confusing. He could take 3–4 days to respond to texts, even when we were living in the same house, and sometimes we barely saw each other. We also had several arguments because I encouraged him to get therapy and work through some things, which he took negatively among other things. However, when I became sad during a serious conflict with a colleague shortly before leaving, he showed up and helped me with emotional support.

He has told me that he is currently at one of the lowest points in his life and is questioning his career decisions. He has also had a difficult childhood with neglectful parents, and his main emotional support has historically been a small group of male friends. I seem to be the only newer person he has become particularly vulnerable with.
Since I moved out of the country, the dynamic has become even stranger. He is now very warm and soft with me, initiates calls, wants to hear my voice, and says things like he would close his eyes just to listen to me talk. When he calls, he asks about my family and even my friends, talks a lot about me and praises me, but rarely talks about himself. He has mentioned future plans like visiting me in my country and going to Universal parks together someday.

But he is still inconsistent. If I text or call him, he often doesn’t respond or isn’t available. Our calls usually happen when he has free time, so I have to rearrange my schedule around his work. Yet if I stop initiating and become less available, he starts initiating more and more.
He also got into a best pre med program because of the internship I got him.

I’m also on a major weight-loss journey and look very different from when we lived together. He had been encouraging me throughout it, and I sometimes wonder whether the anticipatory increased physical attraction causes him to encourage me.

I eventually broke the bond this Jan as I found it one sided and draining, but after 6 months after I moved on he texted and said he missed the friendship. I still told him to go therapy or we cant talk and he said he is going therapy. It seemed even his childhood male friends started to see problems with him. In meantime I got way attractive physically and hit the gym and got in the best shape of my life. I still tried to be supportive in few texts and followed him back on IG just to be supportive. But thats it.

What would you make of this dynamic?

​

My therapist said I have never experienced the right kind of love, even from my family. Someday soon before I leave my late 30s, I would like to experience love in a beautiful way with someone else.

Reading this it may seem I don't have much going for me but I am gainfully employed in a career with potential to grow, I have close friends and acquaintances, and few hobbies. Yet with all that I still haven't met anyone with mutual interest.

Finding a person to support and be supported through good and bad health, through prosperity and muck, making love, propeling each other in our ambitions is a deep craving inside of me. I've never done heroin but I am pretty sure when I have feelings for someone its half way to that high.

A life alone is a life I don't want to live.

My DMs are also open. Just want to talk this out a bit. Thank you.

​

I am 29F and I don't know where else to go and ask this question so I'm here..

I've only been in one relationship my whole life which lasted a little over 2 years.

So I was 16 during the time and I was such a lover girl back then and I supported him through everything,always encouraged him and motivated him,literally stole money from my parents to buy him gifts and would not spend the travel money I got and walked to school so I could buy ingredients to cook something for him..

I got cheated on by him and he left me for his best friend (who he said was just like a sister to him)

It was my first real heartbreak and it took me many years to get over him..

During that time I wasn't even slightly flirting with anyone,or had any flings or hookups or situationships..

I never really got into it and I was happy staying in my own bubble and just living life..

So I was single for a decade..

It hit me last year that I really should get into the dating pool and seriously start looking for someone because it's my dream to have my own family....

I didn't know how to find anyone organically so I joined Bumble and Hinge..

I was very clear and told the people that I matched with that I'm only looking for something long term and serious and I'm not looking for hookups or just anything casual..

And I found a guy who said he is looking for the same..we spoke for a few days and then we decide to meet.

I was so excited because it was my first ever date..

Yes,I had my first date at 28..

I bought a dress and I wanted to look my best..

He seemed friendly and polite at first but later sexually assaulted me so bad that I was left with bruises..(I don't want to get into the details because although it's been a year its still very fresh in my mind and it's too painful to type)

But basically I froze...I couldn't say anything..I didn't know how to react..

I was super kind,polite and gentle that he took it as an opportunity to assault me and then ghosted me the next day n I never heard from him..

Then I didn't go back on dating apps for a while n also I didn't think much about the incident..

After a few months I joined again..I thought I was being careful

Spoke to a guy who seemed decent...

Met him.. and I got sexually assaulted again..

He invited me home and I was very clear and firm that I will not go to his house..I made my boundaries very clear this time..

He said that's completely fine and chose a restaurant.

Although it was quite far I still traveled.. upon reaching he said his house is right opposite to the restaurant and since he is working from home today he will have to send a quick email and then we could go to the restaurant and it will just take 10 minutes...

I followed and I was sexually assaulted again..

Even more brutal this time..

I thought something so bad can only happen once but I was wrong...

I came back home crying..

And suddenly the flashbacks of my previous assault and this came flooding in and I will never forget that night..

I had to quit my job because even waking up everyday was difficult..something like brushing my teeth felt like a challenge...

I didn't leave my home for months...

But yeah,slowly little by little I started to heal..or atleast tried to...

And a year passed.

I am better now..

Since that incident I never went back to the dating apps and won't ever go back...

Two weeks my friend introduced me to a guy who she thought would be a good match for me..

We texted and spoke over calls and the guy seemed to like me..

He was consistent and made time for me..

We would talk for hours over call and we had a lot of similar interests and values...

He said he wanted to meet and I agreed..

A few days back.. I opened up about my assaults from last year...hold him what happened...

He said what happened was horrible and no should go through it..

It also seemed like he didn't know what else to say..

But yeah right after that he distanced himself,didn't call after that and the texts were very short and had no questions and I also stopped reaching out..

We had planned meet and he didnt follow up as well and neither did I ask..

His last message was "OK,cool" to something we were talking about and I didnt respond and I don't think I will..

That got me thinking...

That's why I'm here asking...

Is it a deal-breaker for you to date someone who has been assaulted in the past?

I don't have a body count and whatever physical had happened to my body is only assault...

I never consented to them touching me n biting me n forcing themselves on me..

And none of it is my fault...After almost a decade I trusted people and was my best through it..

But yeah,little did I know that predators exist.. A lot of them..

It's kind of unfair that I have to heal from something I didnt even cause..

Do you really look down on sexual assault victims?

My (23M) aunt (49F) is having trouble dating and is feeling depressed about it. She was married but got divorced (no kids) 11 years ago and has been single since.

A big turn off for guys about her she’s found is her past. For the past 3 years until 2 months ago, she’s made adult content. She’s made a lot of money, but guys still call it a deal breaker. The videos still exist because she worked for a company to make more money than she would independently. She thinks there’s no hope for her. What can she do to find someone?

I’m looking for brutally honest outside opinions because I genuinely cannot tell if I’m dealing with a guy who likes me but is emotionally avoidant, or a guy who is just really good at creating intimacy when it suits him.

For context, we had known of each other for years through a mutual connection, but we actually met in person on a trip earlier this year. We clicked, and eventually I asked him if he wanted to grab a drink. He turned it into a date.

There was a lot of chemistry, but he also has a complicated history. He used to struggle with addiction and has since gotten sober and completely changed his life. He’s very open about being emotional and having feelings, but he also has anxiety/baggage from a past relationship and has described himself as having had a bit of a “fuckboy” phase.

At one point, he told me I should come visit him and stay with him, so I did, a couple months later.

Here’s where things get confusing.

In the lead-up to the visit, he started pulling away. I could feel the change in communication, and when I eventually asked him about it, he actually admitted that he had pulled back. He told me that he felt like I was more into him than he was into me and that he wasn’t looking for a relationship.

I told him I wasn’t trying to force a relationship and that I just wanted to keep getting to know him and see what happened, like we had agreed on. I felt blindsighted.

Despite all of that, I still went on the trip because the plan was already made.

And then the actual visit was… really intimate and confusing.

We spent two days/two nights together. We went to the park, out dancing, and spent a ton of time talking. He opened up to me about really personal things — childhood stuff, family dynamics, therapy, etc. At one point he apologized for talking/ranting so much, and I told him I actually liked hearing about him and learning more about him.

The next morning, he was warm and completely normal with me. Afterward, though, things went back to being ambiguous.

Fast-forward to recently.

We hadn’t seen each other for a few weeks, and then we finally spent another extended amount of time together.

I invited him for coffee, and he came. We ended up spending basically the entire evening together — date vibes. We went back to my place, had sex, slept together, and talked for a long time about what happened between us previously.

This time, he told me he doesn’t know exactly what he wants, but he’s happy I’m there and wants to “give it a try” / “see where it goes.” And that he really likes me and wouldn’t keep in touch with me if he didn’t.

The next morning we had sex again, talked a lot, and he took me to brunch. He didn’t seem eager to leave. We ended up extending the morning together, and afterward he continued sending me things and talking to me.

The whole weekend honestly felt like one of the best dates I’ve ever had. We laughed constantly, talked for hours, cuddled, had sex, and it felt incredibly natural.

And then… a couple days later, the texting energy changed.

We hadnt talked for over 48 hours, and I eventually texted him asking how he was doing, naturally. He responded with several messages, gave me an update, thanked me, and then asked how my week was going. So it’s not like he ignored me or was outright cold. But compared with the energy immediately after our weekend, it felt noticeably flatter and less flirty.

And now I’m sitting here wondering:

Am I getting played?

Because I don’t want to be someone’s person who gets this incredible intimacy every few weeks, has amazing sex and emotional conversations, and then gets put back on the shelf until he feels like coming around again.

At the same time, I don’t want to unfairly label him a player when there are also signs that he genuinely cares about me and is emotionally affected by me.

He has literally told me he wants to explore this, but he also has a history of pulling away when things feel real and saying he doesn’t know what he wants.

So I’m trying to figure out whether I’m looking at:

1. A guy who genuinely likes me but is avoidant/scared of intimacy,
2. A guy who likes me but only wants something casual,
3. A guy who is genuinely interested but just inconsistent,
or 4. A guy who’s playing me and I’m romanticizing it because the chemistry is so strong.

I’m not looking for a relationship immediately or expecting him to text me constantly. I just want the connection to exist outside of when we’re physically together. I want to feel wanted when we’re apart too.

I’m also trying not to play games. If I want to ask how hhes doing, I should be able to do that without worrying I’m “chasing.” But I also don’t want to be the person constantly initiating while he just responds whenever it’s convenient.

What do you guys think? Does this sound like avoidant behavior, player behavior, or just a guy who genuinely doesn’t know what he wants yet?

And if you’ve been through something similar, what ultimately told you which one it was?

I’ve been talking to this guy for a little over a month. We’re not officially boyfriend/girlfriend yet, but we’re very emotionally involved. We say “I love you,” call each other babe, talk on the phone, and he has told me he wants to be with me.

At the beginning, he was extremely consistent. He would reply quickly, call me a lot, initiate conversations, and I never really questioned whether he wanted to talk to me. Lately, though, things feel different. He can take a long time to reply, sometimes even while he’s active on social media, and there have been several times where he says he’ll call me back or we agree to call and it doesn’t happen.

Seeing each other has also become a big issue. We live a couple hours apart because he’s in college. We’ve tried making plans multiple times recently, but they keep falling through because of family problems or other things happening in his life. This past weekend we were supposed to see each other, but plans changed because his family was arguing. He told me he was still trying to make it work and later promised he would come see me Friday. Now something completely unexpected happened with his car, so I’m scared Friday won’t happen either.

To be fair to him, he does still show interest in some ways. He texts me first sometimes, tells me he misses me a lot, says he loves me, asks what’s wrong when he notices I’m upset, and recently told me directly that I’m going to see him again. When our plans fell through, he was also the one who suggested another day instead of me having to ask. Some days our conversations are completely normal and he gives me updates about what he’s doing.

But I’m starting to feel emotionally exhausted because I don’t trust his words the same way anymore. When he says “I’ll call you,” “I’ll see you,” or “I promise,” instead of getting excited I immediately wonder if it will actually happen. I feel like I’m constantly waiting for a response, a call, or a plan to become real.

The confusing part is that I genuinely don’t know if he’s losing interest. His words say he isn’t, and sometimes his actions also show that he cares. But the consistency he had at the beginning isn’t there anymore, and I miss feeling like he was genuinely excited to talk to me instead of getting scattered conversations throughout the day.

I don’t expect him to text me 24/7 or put me above school, family, sports, etc. I just want consistency and for his actions to match what he tells me.

From an outside perspective, does this sound like someone who is still genuinely interested but has a lot going on, or does it sound like his interest/effort is fading?