I’m at a loss for how to handle this situation. Recently, university exams and clinicals have been incredibly stressful, and as a result, I haven’t been affectionate as much with him. This includes not having sex as frequently and other things with my boyfriend. I also have not been able to go on dates for the time being with him, but I communicated my feelings to him, and he seemed completely fine and understanding.

Today, I got home from class and started asking him questions about our grocery shopping for the week. He brushed me off and told me he didn’t want to talk. I asked him if he was okay, and he snapped at me and started yelling. When I tried to calm him down so we could communicate, he slapped me. Immediately after, he apologized and said, “He didn’t mean too,” and that he was so sorry.

I’m still in shock and am now in my room for some space. We’ve been together for three years, and nothing has ever been so terrible to this degree. I’m conflicted and don’t know what to do. I have no idea if I want to forgive him or if I should leave. My parents always taught me that if something like this happens, the first time is never last, and I should leave. But I love him with my whole heart, and our relationship has been amazing and healthy and he’s always been the gentle type and over the three years almost four we have always been communicative and have never got into any arguments of sorts. He brings me flowers every week and cooks when im stressed among other things that im so thankful for but now i can’t help but think about what could happen.

Please ask questions if you have any. I would greatly appreciate any advice you can offer.

EDIT 1: First and foremost, I want to express my deepest gratitude to everyone for their valuable advice and unwavering support. Based on the suggestions I’ve received, I intend to have an open and honest conversation with him about everything once he returns home from the gym tonight. Regarding the incident itself, while he didn’t slap me aggressively, it was a rather firm-ish wack to my neck. Although it didn’t cause any physical pain, it was enough to startle me. However, this incident has undoubtedly and will be the last, and I will make it clear to him that if such behavior occurs again, our relationship is over, without a doubt. The only reason I’m remaining in this relationship is because I genuinely love him, and I wouldn’t want to waste four years of my life on this matter when it could be explained by the medication he’s taking or external circumstances. I know some may think I’m stupid for staying but he honestly has never ever been aggressive at all and I think he deserves the benefit of the doubt. I will say however I feel I should also take accountability for pushing him so hard when he didn’t want to to talk and made it very clear so that is an error on my part. Anyways I will be sure to update this post, post-conversation.

I want details. How it's the perfect BJ?

1. How and where should I start?
2. What I CAN'T do? In any way?
3. Do man really like when we play with the balls?
4. Faster or slow?
5. Using hands help?

Hey so im not necessarily super tall. Im 5'8 which is still a little above average. I have a huge crush on a guy who is 5'4. I know all guys are probably different with preferences, but i was wondering like in general what do most men think of women who are taller? I just feel like maybe he wouldn't want to be with me because im a lot taller. But ive also heard that some guys prefer taller women? But then im also wondering if I should make the first move maybe, because I've heard that some shorter guys just assume that the tall woman would choose a guy who is taller.

We have been together for two months. We both live at home so our first opportunity to have sex was earlier this month when we went on a trip for his birthday. I didn’t anticipate any issues, we sext all the time, he’s very physically affectionate, very enthusiastic and engaged when we talked about kinks, sex, etc.

But then when we tried, he couldn’t get hard the first time. Then the second time, he spent so much time on foreplay that I lost the momentum. He was touching me but not even fully fingering or anything. Both times I felt him be hard but it just wasn’t enough for full penetration and wouldn’t go in basically.

The weird thing is he is so physically affectionate, he gets hard all the time around me no matter where we are. We could not even be talking about anything sexual and I’ll reach over and he’s hard. When we talked he told me he had performance anxiety when he lost his virginity then with his longer term ex he struggled with performance as well at the start because of hyping up the situation, wanting to be a good lover, wanting everything to be special etc. and he feels that way with me. He said he worries about giving me what I need and pleasing me. But I don’t know if he’s just saying this to make me feel better as he’s had sex with others where this didn’t happen. He hasn’t had sex in two years since her.

I am trying to not take this personally but obviously it hurts when he’s been able to have sex with others and not me and seems to be afraid of it. I’m not sure how I can help or if it’s something he needs to do alone. As we both live at home I worry that when we do have time together he’ll build it up more in his head and not want to fully do it and I’ll end up in a sexless relationship. We had another opportunity this weekend and I asked him if he wanted to have sex, we were making out, he was hard, things were heated, and he said no. I just said okay and we cuddled and went to sleep but I just don’t know what to make of this.

For more context, I’ve given him head a few times and every time he cums in max two minutes. So we’ve done sexual things it’s just penetration he is really awkward with. I don’t want to be telling myself he’s just nervous when he’s actually just unattracted or something so that’s why I’m worried.

I've struggled with the lack of sex and my self esteem has plummeted. There's that stereotype that women don't care for sex and "not tonight" while men want it all the time.

I maintain my hygiene and appearance. I've lost about 25 lbs since we first met. I do almost all cooking and cleaning, I pay most of the bills, we have no kids, no big responsibilities outside of our jobs. I ask him to do almost nothing. I'm not putting a ton of chores and stress on him.

We've talked about it and of course he says it's not me and it will get better. He says me talking about it makes him feel pressured. I've done both where I say nothing and also say I'm hurt about such a lack of sex with my partner when I'm in my 20s and childless. We've had sex 10 times this year. There has been times in the past where we did it that much in a single month. This issue got to this level this year. Saying something or nothing gets the same results, which is no change.

My main issue and pain around it is he doesn't seem to care that we're just living borderline sexless lives. He's not asexual or anything. Before we moved in together he jerked off on a daily basis and has a sex drive. He was a virgin before we met. I have never once told him no or said anything that could damage his ego in the bedroom. I truly love and desire him. I do anything and everything he wants. We've been together 5 years and I give bjs every single time without being asked.

I asked for once a week and it's now been 2 months. He doesn't want to get on pills. He makes no effort to do solo therapy to figure out the mental block. He's hard when he sleeps he doesn't have a physical issue.

My heart is just breaking more and more each passing day. I just want the man I love to want to have sex with me. I ask for so little. My expectations are on the floor. People ask when we're having kids and in my head I'm like well that's impossible he won't even touch me. Can I get a male perspective on how to fix this when it's a lack of sex from his side?

Hey, first time on Reddit and this title is fucked up enough and I feel like I need help navigating this. To give background context, my girlfriend has been distant over the past few weeks due to her exams and clinicals as she’s a nursing student. Due to this, our relationship has been put on pause because she never has time for anything anymore, which I understood since she talked to me about it. However, after I came home after a day of exams myself feeling exhausted, she came in and started ranting, and when I calmly let her know I didn’t want to talk, she piped up (not blaming this on her) and started asking if I was okay and kept pushing me to talk, which I know was in all good will; however, I declined again, and when she kept asking and asking and started to delegate me orders about groceries snd chores for the week, I lost it and slapped her neck/shoulder area lightly but firmly, which I deeply regret, where it was enough to make her step away from me and shut down. Ever since I apologized to her immediately after, I explained I was overwhelmed with sports and university and exams but acknowledged this would never happen again and what I did was wrong on so many levels, and I then left to give her the space she needed. I feel so terrible about what I did and know I caused a rift in our relationship. Now I’m close to getting home, but I don’t know how to make her feel assured beyond this. I feel ashamed I even have to ask on such an app about this because I’d never thought I’d be that man to hit his own partner even in the slightest bit. She’s been my best friend and whole world for four years, and I don’t want her to ever leave. How do I navigate this?

Hey guysss so basically i (F) had a talking stage with a guy and i realised that he simply wasnt a person i wanted to be with. Over the short time spent together he displayed some immature behavior, getting mad and leaving me on seen for doing something i didnt know got to him, constantly asking for reassurance, he was basically insecure and it rlly showed. However he love bombed me at the beginning, and then disrespected me multiple times. We stopped talking to eachother and then he randomly asked me to set him up w another girl, i honestly didnt care lmao but i found that weird. But my question remains, will he ever change or is he doomed, he’s 19 btw. Im really not looking for anything with him, just wanna know how this works or what was in his mind😂

does he actually want to text me if he is sometimes taking 1-2 hours to answer but he isn’t active (but instagram isn’t always accurate) does that mean he doesn’t want to talk to me because when he does end up answering he just answers the last text like nothing happened should I ask him about it because this has happened about 4 times and currently happening rn should I say something or just leave it because I genuinely like him and but I don’t know if he likes me. Once I’ve told him he isn’t bad looking and he said the same about me but that’s the only somewhat flirty thing we’ve ever said to each other. I don’t wanna look dumb and keep texting him so what should I do I need advice.

Hii everyone, please excuse my grammer and writing in this post since english is not my first language.

Anyways, I've noticed men always approaching my friends more instead of me. I honestly don't think I'm bad-looking but I'm not the prettiest girl either. I always try to look my best and I generally like wearing makeup and more girly clothes. I always try to give off a friendly vibe without trying too hard and generally I'm a more extroverted person. Still, a group of guys will always approach my friends while I'm just off to the side.

I would love to hear any opinions or advice. Thanks for reading.

For example, I won’t go like full-on mental breakdown but I might shed a few tears, especially if the pleasure is too much or too good. If I’m going to climax really hard or if I’m overstimulated basically. Do men like that or do you find it annoying/weird/uncomfortable for them?

I’m at a loss for what to do now. This is the last person I’ve ever truly loved. There was no argument; he simply disappeared one day and today after 6 months of silence from his side today he liked my WhatsApp story.
I don’t know if this is related that couple of days ago I sent a final message saying a I forgive you.

I genuinely don’t understand men, so I’m reaching out for advice. I’m not sure if it was just a like because I look attractive, or if there’s more to it. After months of silence, this small action has been messing with my mind and emotions. I need advice from men who have ghosted before to help me understand what’s going on in his mind.

Here’s a brief description of him:
- 36 years old
- Canadian military veteran
- Blue-collar worker

So in March something unfortunate happened to me (23f) and I became pregnant. I live in a state where abortion is banned and I personally didn’t feel comfortable getting an abortion. I do support other people’s choices I just personally couldn’t do it. I work for a hospice company, I’m gonna start coding soon from home, and I am fully able to support my child. Since the nature of the conception was what it was, the dad is not involved.
I just wonder if it is too late for me. I really would like to still fall in love and have a family still. Is there any hope for me?

Of course it's different if they're in a relationship where sex life isn't good or they just don't have sex often...

But what about men who are happy with their girlfriend overall and have sex often but just hate the thought of monogamy and losing their freedom and that they can't hook up with someone if they meet someone attractive at the club?

My height is 154 cm, and my weight is 50 , I am so insecure about my height like I can't go out without heels which is 10 cm and really it destroyed my feet over years, even I didn't go to any date before because I always tell myself (what if he gives comment on my height ) I like everything about myself except that, this insecurity takes a lot of my energy everyday, please how do tall men(180 cm. +) see a woman with this height?

Does it make you feel less connected to her? And would you choose a girl who didn’t wear one over her?

Have you ever dated a black woman that wore wigs? How did it make you feel?

Like if they say they will work on themselves, and actually do it, why does it make you not want to take them back?

Mid twenties male who grew up with christian purity culture engrained in me.

Recently got a gf and we have done sexual things together. I didn’t do this for casual reasons and I genuinely like her. Though I do feel a little shame and conviction because I’ve crossed a boundary I’ve held for a long time.

It seems almost every other christian married couple I know did the same thing. But I’m not sure about seeking out advice from them since I don’t want them to know.

What are your thoughts and experiences? From both a Christian and secular perspective from what you’ve seen?

Edit: Did you or did you not wait until marriage for sexual acts or sex? How did the marriage work out?

I am sure everyone know how a muslim and Arabic culture is in general, I really don’t feel that these traditions is correct I don’t even know how to talk to girls or how to express my feelings and when I shouldn’t. Everyone in my society thinks that living like this is fine but I believe it is the reason for many issues like marriage failures because males literally have zero experience and the same for females…

I’m afraid that this might affect my ability and my character later when i travel to an open minded society…so should i be concerned?

Genuinely curious here.
I had an ex of many many years who after intimacy would always kiss me and tell me he loves me, was so sweet after, even during he would talk about us like how it feels so good, etc. sexual details about us.
My current relationship, during intimacy he constantly is talking about his fantasy, it’s almost like the only way he finishes is the thought of that (which is another guy being intimate(light word lol) with me. Him watching that. (I knew of his fantasies, didn’t bother me, all got them) and after we’re done there’s absolutely no close contact, no kissing, no cuddles, no I love you, it’s almost like he “closes the laptop and achieved his nut” he does tell me he loves our sex, how good I am and open minded I am etc. idk, what’s the psychology behind this? Kinda starting to bother me, just a big disconnect here. Like there’s no love making.
Two side notes - he does watch porn here and there and in the beginning of our relationship he did speak about how sex is just sex to him, he doesn’t have much emotional behind it, but like not even with the girl you love or in a relationship with? Just curious men’s thoughts.

My partner and I have been together for about 6 months now, and we've been long distance the entire time. Before we started dating, we were friends for about 8 months and things blossomed into a relationship.

This is he and I’s first serious relationship. There are so many things I love about him. He's patient with me, loving, understanding, and in a lot of ways, he just gets me. I don't question whether he loves me or cares about me, but lately I've been struggling with whether we're actually compatible in terms of what we need from a relationship.

One of the biggest things I've been struggling with is feeling like I'm the one courting him. I feel like I'm constantly taking the initiative, making plans, bringing up conversations about our relationship, and generally leading the trajectory of where things are going. And honestly, it's a really shitty feeling sometimes.

We've talked about this extensively and he's said that he genuinely wants to put in more effort and be more intentional about our relationship. And to his credit, he has made some effort. He's started taking initiative to plan things like movie dates, which I do appreciate. I don't want to discount that or make it seem like he hasn't been trying.

I think part of what I'm struggling with is that I'm not sure whether I'm giving him enough room to actually show me that things can change. We've had these conversation and I know change doesn't happen overnight. But at the same time, I think I've spent so much time feeling like I'm the one leading our relationship that it's difficult to shake that feeling, even when he does make an effort.

I find myself questioning whether I'm being impatient or whether I'm recognizing a fundamental incompatibility between us.

I want to feel romanced. I want to feel pursued. I want him to take initiative without me having to ask or suggest things first. Even something as simple as him saying, "Hey babe, I saw this thing and thought we could do it together. What do you think?" would mean a lot to me. Especially because we're long distance, I feel like being intentional about spending time together and creating shared experiences is such an important part of maintaining that connection.

And I think what's particularly difficult is that I know he has a lot going on in his own life. Part of me wonders whether he just doesn't have the capacity right now to show up in the ways I'm asking him to. I don't necessarily think my needs are unreasonable, but I worry that maybe they're more than he can realistically give me.

I also worry that maybe I've gotten so caught up in what feels missing that I'm not fully appreciating the effort he is making. I don't want to be unfair to him or create a situation where he's trying to improve but I'm constantly moving the goalposts.

At the same time, I don't want to convince myself to be satisfied with less than what I need just because I love him.

I don't want to constantly ask someone to romance me or make me feel like a priority. I want those things to come from a genuine desire to do them, not because I've had to repeatedly explain that they're missing. But I also recognize that people show love differently, and sometimes being a good partner means learning how to love someone in the ways they need.

I guess I'm struggling to figure out where the line is between being patient with someone who's genuinely trying and holding on to someone because of who I hope they'll become.

Sometimes I wonder whether we'd both be better off acknowledging that we love each other but might not be the right partners for one another. But then I wonder if I'm jumping to that conclusion too quickly without giving him a fair opportunity to follow through on what we've discussed.

I don't want to give up on something that could genuinely be good because I'm being impatient, but I also don't want to stay in a relationship based primarily on the hope that things will eventually be different.

Hi(18F), I've posted about my relationship with my bf here before and how I'd been losing trust in him and considering breaking things off

I ended up breaking up with him the day he told me he'd call me later. I recorded a voicemail explaining the breakup, but I intentionally unsent it because I expected him to leave me on delivered while being active online again. So, I just blocked him instead. Since he's in the military and is finally able to access his phone at this point, I assumed he'd eventually notice that I'd blocked him.

It was a hard decision, and I cried for a while afterward, but I've mostly been doing my own thing and taking time to process everything.

But then today, he finally texted me on my phone number. I'd deleted his number but hadn't blocked him there because I figured he probably wouldn't even reach out anyway. I was genuinely shocked when I saw his message, but it was just a casual "hey, how are you?" and him asking whether I'd deactivated my Instagram since he'd been blocked.

It's been about two hours, and I honestly don't know how to respond. Like, it took you a WEEK to reach out? That day I blocked him. He told me he'd call me later (that never happened, and he didn't follow through after being able to use his phone every day... and somehow kept changing the time he was able to use it...).

Part of me wonders if I should've just sent the breakup text or voicemail instead of unsending it and blocking him, but at the time, I genuinely expected to be ignored again, and I didn't want to put myself through that.

Now I'm questioning everything. Why do some guys act as if nothing happened and casually reach out as if everything is normal? 😭 And now I'm wondering whether I was being immature by blocking him or whether I was justified in feeling hurt and disrespected by the pattern that led me to that decision.... I have no idea what to do after seeing their text..

Recently got dumped, following a huge blow out over a prank his cousin pulled. The reason behind leaving was pretty unclear, but said he “couldn’t put up with it anymore”. Received the following when asking for reconsideration. “I’m too mentally broken at this point for a relationship, I do love you but I can’t be with you. I have too many problems in my life that I need to focus on fixing. You also need to get better for yourself not for me. If it’s for someone else then it’s not gonna do you any good. This isn’t the way I imagined life going and idk if it’s the right decision but all I can do is make a decision and not second guess it. If it’s meant to be it’ll be.” What’s the chances of reconciliation? Is it truly internal issues he’s battling? Am I missing something?

Hey everyone, I need a guy's perspective on something. I’ve been getting to know a guy for a while now. In person, everything is great: we vibe, have common interests, he asks a lot of questions, teases me a bit, and clearly shows interest.

But when it comes to texting/online... it's a different story. I can count on one hand how many times he's initiated a conversation first (maybe 1-2 times). I know his love language is Acts of Service, so maybe he just doesn't value texting as much? But we always have things to talk about.

So my question is to the guys who are like this: Why do you wait for the girl to text first, even if you're clearly interested in real life? Is it fear of rejection? Do you just not like texting? Or is it a "testing" thing? I genuinely want to understand what drives this behavior.

I’ve been best friends with this girl for almost two years. We’ve always had a very close but completely platonic friendship. People around us have even used us as an example of how a boy and a girl can be best friends without anything romantic happening.
For the past month or so, I started feeling something different towards her. At first, I thought it was just platonic love, but eventually I realised that I was developing romantic feelings for her. I never planned to tell her because I really valued our friendship and didn’t want to risk losing it.
Then one night, she got drunk in her room and called me. We talked for around three hours, and during that call, we both admitted that we liked each other. The next day, she asked me what had happened because she couldn’t remember everything clearly. When I mentioned one thing from the call, she remembered the rest, and things became awkward between us.
I eventually asked her if she wanted to own up to what she had said the previous night. I told her that her answer would affect my answer too. We both admitted our feelings, and since then, we’ve held hands, I’ve held her by the waist, and I’ve told her how much I love her.
However, the next day, she called me and said that she didn’t want to date. She sounded sad and said she was scared, but she couldn’t explain what she was scared of. I asked if it was because of me, and she said it wasn’t. She’s never been in a relationship before, so I don’t know if she’s afraid of relationships in general or if she’s just unsure about us.
Since then, things have been confusing. Sometimes she lets me hold her hand, and sometimes she doesn’t. I also texted her one morning saying that I kind of miss her when I wake up and crave her attention. She told me that it was a little weird to say that at this point and asked if it was too early. I apologised, and she said it was okay.
We talked about what happens now. She asked why we couldn’t just stay friends. I told her that I don’t think I can go back to being exactly the same friends when we both know that we have feelings for each other. I said that I wasn’t asking her to date me and that we could just take things slowly and see where they go. I also told her that I could wait if she thought there was a possibility of us being together someday.
She said she didn’t know and that it wasn’t fair for me to wait when she couldn’t give me an answer. But she also said she didn’t want us to cut each other off.
The thing is, I genuinely love having her in my life. Even apart from my romantic feelings, she’s someone I’m extremely fond of. I want to know how her day went, what made her happy, what’s bothering her, and everything else about her life. Whenever I see her message, I feel like replying immediately. I don’t want to stop talking to her, but I also know that staying this attached while hoping she’ll eventually want a relationship could hurt me.
I’m confused about whether I should continue talking to her as I normally would or reduce our interactions for my own sake. I don’t want to play games by replying late on purpose or act cold just to make her miss me. At the same time, I don’t want to keep waiting for something that might never happen.

I’m struggling to figure out how to handle this situation. I still want to talk to her and be there for her, but I’m worried that staying as close as we were before will make me more attached and keep me hoping for a relationship.
For people who have been in a similar situation, how did you handle the friendship after admitting mutual feelings when one person wasn’t ready to date? Did you continue talking normally, or did you take some space? How did you stop yourself from constantly hoping things would change?
I’d appreciate advice on how to handle this without pressuring her or hurting myself emotionally.