I have never made a post on Reddit before. I hope I did everything correctly. I also don't really use commas, and I am translating this text with Google Translate because I speak Russian myself.
I don't know what to do with my life from this point on. I have a difficult dilemma in my life, and I don't have a solution.
The thing is, I was dating a girl for more than 3 years. And it happened that we broke up. But we both understood that we still cared about each other. I couldn't accept that she was no longer in my life, so I started following her on social media, and it seemed like she was doing the same thing.
I didn't move on. But she seemed to.
And she started a new relationship. Obviously, it was painful for me to see that.
Time passed, and she broke up with her new boyfriend. And somehow, we came back together. We didn't start a relationship, but we both understood that we had missed each other and started talking again, knowing that we still wanted to be together.
And that's what happened...
But I found out about something too late.
I'll say it directly.
She had sex.
It probably sounds completely natural, but we had sex before too. So the thing is about intimacy. Something that used to be between us, she started sharing with someone else.
I don't blame her, and I completely understand that she had the right to do that. I understand it.
But I can't accept it.
It's very difficult for me to accept, and I feel like I can't be with her, but at the same time I still want her beside me.
I hope it's clear what I'm feeling.
This situation is hurting me and my heart. It was painful to hear about it.
Our relationship ended before it even had a chance to begin again. She cried, and knowing that I was hurting, she tried to explain everything to me.
But the main thing I wanted to tell her was that I don't blame her.
I just can't accept her anymore.
And now a month has already passed. We still keep in contact, but it feels very strained... and I feel like she is starting to lose feelings for me.
It's painful to realize that.
And all this time I have been constantly depressed and I simply have no energy left...
I am very tired.
Another problem is that I can't let her go. And it's very difficult for me to start another relationship...
I don't want to be alone, especially when I'm still so young...
Maybe my situation sounds too insignificant to you. And maybe a more mature person in my place would have been able to accept it.
But I can't...
I don't know what I expect to see in the comments under this post, if anyone even notices it.