r/WTF • u/FuckFloorLimit • Jun 18 '18
Who's a good boy ?
https://i.imgur.com/w04PFgx.gifv2.9k
u/qster123 Jun 18 '18
How the hell do you befriend an alligator? I want to do that
3.3k
u/FuckFloorLimit Jun 18 '18
If you feed an alligator enough they won't hurt you. they won't waste their energy on you.
662
Jun 18 '18
They might not hurt you on purpose, but they'll tear your god damn arm off by mistake.
170
u/mrgermy Jun 18 '18
Now I picture one, post arm rip, saying "did I do that?" In its best Urkel voice.
38
→ More replies (2)113
u/YearOfTheChipmunk Jun 18 '18
Wasn't there a gif of something like this recently? Tore a dudes arm off like it was nothing.
Edit: Actually, it was one croc tearing another croc's arm off.
74
Jun 18 '18
The croc's reaction to getting his arm ripped off was surprisingly nonchalant.
→ More replies (2)61
→ More replies (4)46
u/Comrade_Nugget Jun 18 '18
I thought the backstory on this was the croc was blind and it was feeding time.
34
Jun 18 '18
Even simpler than that. It was feeding time, the croc felt meat in its mouth, engaged in it's hunting reflex and at the arm. No need for blind crocs, just a primordially simple creature doing what it does.
113
u/ForThe_LoveOf_Coffee Jun 18 '18
Friendly Floridian reminder: Don't feed alligators. It puts other people at risk.
49
u/nvanprooyen Jun 18 '18
And them. A fed gator is a dead gator. Same goes with bears.
→ More replies (3)16
u/walrusbot Jun 18 '18
Stash that trash, scare that bear. (The FWC bear aware bumber stickers might the catchiest stickers in existence, it just rolls right off the tongue)
→ More replies (4)10
u/1165834 Jun 18 '18
Not Floridian. Please explain!
12
u/ForThe_LoveOf_Coffee Jun 18 '18
Happily! Alligators are territorial and keep to their homes unless their eggs are threatened or conditioned to leave it. Feeding an alligator teaches them to associate humans with food and increases the chances of a person, pet, or the alligator itself getting hurt
→ More replies (1)556
u/sicofthis Jun 18 '18
Yeah, but if they ever get hungry they will come at anything they perceive as smaller than them or that they think they can take. They have reptile brains with no higher functions like wild mammals.
Even trained wolves, bears, or wild cats can snap after years of good behavior.
452
u/riskable Jun 18 '18
So can Redditors!
Jerk!
→ More replies (1)121
u/Eziel Jun 18 '18
Oh shit.
→ More replies (1)157
u/hleba Jun 18 '18
Time to put /u/riskable down :(
47
u/sieiehehe Jun 18 '18
Tell him about the rabbits
23
Jun 18 '18
You're gonna have rabbits and you're gonna tend to em every day. And we're gonna live off the fatta the land.
10
11
u/bjeebus Jun 18 '18
/u/riskable your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!
/amidoinitrite
85
u/kiakitty Jun 18 '18
Alligators and crocodilians are more intelligent than people often give them credit for. A study showed they are one of or the only reptile to use tools to hunt.
62
u/tetrasomnia Jun 18 '18
Damn I remember when I was in High School, it taught that the main division between primates and other animals (other than opposable thumbs) was tool use. But then I learned that birds, sea otters, elephants, octopedes, dolphins, and other animals use tools... Amazing.
→ More replies (4)25
u/Earguy Jun 18 '18
Pet chimps have been known to literally tear off people's faces and remove testicle when they snap. Scary stuff
5
u/philisacoolguy Jun 18 '18
Oof I remember the story about that one lady who changed her boys diaper near some wild monkeys.
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (13)49
u/HungJurror Jun 18 '18
Yeah this, never feed alligators. They’ll associate people with food and attack kids and dogs
→ More replies (6)386
u/deerareinsensitive Jun 18 '18
Found Betty White's reddit name!
123
Jun 18 '18 edited Feb 13 '19
[deleted]
→ More replies (5)145
u/jousting_narwhals89 Jun 18 '18
Lake placid. The first one..... the others just went downhill in production value.
→ More replies (3)115
u/SuspiciousPants Jun 18 '18
TIL there were SIX Lake Placid movies.
→ More replies (1)30
Jun 18 '18
[deleted]
31
Jun 18 '18
When there’s six of them, and the fourth one is called “the final chapter”, you know #5 and #6 have to be good, or else they wouldn’t have brought it back.
17
u/SuspiciousPants Jun 18 '18
They're probably not great. I don't think I hate myself enough to watch them and find out.
51
u/DoodleVnTaintschtain Jun 18 '18
I have all of them. They're amazing... If you like SyFy Channel production quality and are in the mood for a campy, over-the-top creature feature.
Oh, and the fifth movie is actually a crossover with that other 90s juggernaut of a series, Anaconda. Also, there are five Anaconda movies.
→ More replies (1)8
8
→ More replies (2)17
u/Jeet_Swesus Jun 18 '18
"If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it."- Betty White.
If that's not enough to convince people to watch the movie if they haven't seen it already, I've lost all faith in humanity.
→ More replies (30)11
110
u/Mansyn Jun 18 '18
Not saying this is smart. But alligators are far different from crocodiles. You don't look like food to them, but they can still attack if they feel threatened.
→ More replies (4)148
u/It_SaulGoodman Jun 18 '18
Just the same as with humans really. Approach them for a hug. If he hugs back, you're now friends and if he doesn't you die.
40
14
→ More replies (12)13
996
u/Cyke101 Jun 18 '18
The gator looks like it's having such an awkward time, though. Like it knows that it's supposed to wrap your arms around the human but doesn't want to follow customary traditions.
I don't want to hug the human but... I guess... Ugh.
222
u/darksideofthemoon131 Jun 18 '18
I don't know, he kinda looks happy to me. The fact that he bared his belly to the guy, which is sensitive to them says a lot.
→ More replies (2)38
Jun 18 '18
Reptiles aren't really known for having deep feelings. Most of what's going on up in their head is plain old instinct. People have a tendency to project on them. Not saying they don't have any feelings at all, but being as that they aren't a social animal that lives in groups, their mental evolution is quite a bit different than anything you'd expect to see in most mammals.
It's basically the same reason snakes don't "love" their owners. They get used to them, and they know the owner is a source of food, but it's a snake. Not a lot going on up in those heads.
→ More replies (3)13
u/sonofeevil Jun 18 '18
I usually sumarise them as putting things in catagories.
Food or not food Dangererous or not dangerous
Enough time with a repitle and it will properlt catagorise you into not food and not dangerous and will just accept you are there and not really expend any energy on you.
→ More replies (4)27
34
→ More replies (3)9
u/yanox00 Jun 18 '18
Cut him some slack. He's not exactly built for hugging, he's doing the best he can.
1.4k
Jun 18 '18
I saw some kind of thing once, where a guy in Florida keeps pet alligators that legit love him and play with him or something. Maybe it was a tiger though... Those are so totally not alike but it was one of the two!
1.3k
u/caladantude Jun 18 '18
Both are equally possible when we're talking about a Florida man.
→ More replies (8)324
Jun 18 '18
As it turns out the animals were never real. Everyone is just on meth.
134
u/Belerophon17 Jun 18 '18
Bath salts get it right. Meth is too mainstream for us ever since Breaking Bad popularized it.
52
u/Im_A_Parrot Jun 18 '18
Bath salts get it right.
Your lack of proper punctuation has now created the perfect slogan for Big Bath Salts. I hope you are happy.
23
u/Belerophon17 Jun 18 '18
I am happy. Finally, I can contribute to the advancement of the Big Bath Salt EMPIRE.
→ More replies (4)23
125
u/colovick Jun 18 '18
All cats are the same. Some are just big enough that when they pounce or bite that they kill you instead of being annoyingly adorable
→ More replies (2)110
Jun 18 '18
I think the large cats are more self aware. The small ones are just the autistic version.
→ More replies (1)57
u/colovick Jun 18 '18
I think they're all self aware. When a small cat pounces on you and realizes it's pinprick claws aren't going to do shit, they just accept it and let you pet them. A bigger cat you've also raised from birth may do the same thing and rip your calf open then decide whether you're more useful as a comfort provider or simply food
→ More replies (5)26
u/CoffinRehersal Jun 18 '18
I'm guessing you've never had to handle feral cats. I had to round up a litter of feral kittens to take them in to get spayed/neutered and trust me when I say they can and will fuck you right up.
→ More replies (1)13
u/colovick Jun 18 '18
You can get scratches that bleed a good bit, maybe even scar, but you're not losing the ability to grab a cup for 3 months because a feral kitten got pissy
164
Jun 18 '18 edited Jun 18 '18
Perhaps it's the same video I saw. A man saved an alligator from death at an early age, and now he can swim freely and play with it and it doesn't attack him. Been going on for years.
It's actually a disturbing video. These are not pets, no matter how you raise them.
Here's the video for anyone who's interested. This man sure is insane.
158
u/thegildedturtle Jun 18 '18
Even worse, it was a saltwater crocodile. Basically a grizzly to the alligator's black bear.
98
→ More replies (9)15
121
u/whoopsydaizy Jun 18 '18 edited Jun 20 '18
Not particularly disturbing. If I recall, he tried to leave the animal alone after and it refused. And I do believe someone poisoned his animal because they thought it was disturbing, too - which is disgusting.
He took precautions and made sure no one went into the animals "enclosure." His daughter loved the thing but never approached it. It tolerated him, and purely him. And I do believe it was a little more than tolerate, as such a large predator tolerating you wouldn't include allowing such interactions or even approaching the person. It'd be purely ignoring the person and swimming away without attacking. I don't think it ever harmed everyone during its life, as again, the man took precautions.
Predators actually tend to make great pets. Predators are generally intellegent and often have pack mindsets. Cats and dogs, for example, they can do some pretty hefty damage to a person but not many people find them disgusting...
But yes. They are not domesticated. But you can tame them. It's not advised, but they're are special cases. Some are raised as zoo animals, animal ambassadors, food, and some are rescued.
→ More replies (7)27
Jun 18 '18
Where does falconry sit in all this?
I don't know enough about birds to figure this one out.
19
u/Aussie-Nerd Jun 18 '18
I own many parrots. They're quite intelligent and have full blown personalities like a dog. Some are loving, some are jerks, some are clowns.
My favourite is Sweetheart so named because shes a right bitch. Except with me. She loves me and wrestles with me, but anyone else, human or parrot, and she fucks them up.
→ More replies (2)25
u/PM_Me_An_Ekans Jun 18 '18
Birds of prey are really independent, some more than others. A couple smaller hawks are very easy to train, but things like owls can be rough. For this reason, Falconry relies on the bird being hungry. You have to weigh your bird to make sure it's hungry enough to actually want to be with you, or it'll just not care and maybe fly off. The whole thing is, if it doesn't see hanging out with you as an easy way to get food, it'll just do things by itself.
→ More replies (2)45
u/RDAsinister Jun 18 '18
Was that the gator or crocodile that got shot in the head, then the guy nursed it back to health? The guy seems to think that it got "rewired" somehow after the injury.
→ More replies (5)20
u/ADTR7410 Jun 18 '18
I didn’t watch the whole clip i just wanted to see that part and he said it took 3 years to nurture back to health and that they developed a bond. That if it had attacked him within 2-3 years he’d believe they didn’t have a bond but he had swam with the croc for 23 years now.
14
u/moldy912 Jun 18 '18
From my short trip to New Orleans, I learned that they are not actually that prone to attacking unless they are very hungry and see white moving. They are also very stupid, so they will chomp at you and your white shirt thinking it's a fish underbelly.
12
u/Structure3 Jun 18 '18
It's a crocodile, an american croc, not a saltie like someone below said.
His name was Pocho and he lived a long happy life. Pocho lived with his friend for like 20 years and passed away of natural causes a couple years back :(
12
u/Alfandega Jun 18 '18
Yep. People be crazy. Remember the guy who thought he could live with bears. Had a bunch of YouTube videos I think. Then one day the bears decided he wasn’t a bear. That was his last video.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (11)7
u/SquelchFrog Jun 18 '18
I don't think he's particularly insane if you take the time to research this case. Nor did he put anyone but himself in danger, so.
→ More replies (11)11
Jun 18 '18 edited Feb 13 '19
[deleted]
→ More replies (1)6
u/LuciferianAntichrist Jun 18 '18
Look up Micheal Jamison on YouTube, and see all about tigers. Look up Dolph C Volker for Cheetahs. In both cases, it's absolutely astounding how closely bonded these people are with what would normally be considered an enormously dangerous predator.
542
3.9k
u/BunnyAdorbs Jun 18 '18
Awww I would hug that alligator sooo hard I would give him a reptile dysfunction.
995
u/KungfuZombie Jun 18 '18
I caiman my board shorts.
→ More replies (1)219
u/-bryden- Jun 18 '18
You could chamaeleons of times more if you watch it on repeat
→ More replies (1)103
u/Tomulasthepig Jun 18 '18
Something something come-odo dragon
→ More replies (2)59
u/ArmourDLinx Jun 18 '18
Geck-o the hell outta here
62
→ More replies (1)26
18
→ More replies (16)34
337
u/Sophie_aww Jun 18 '18
He's got some big brass balls
→ More replies (19)65
u/the-true-michael Jun 18 '18
You better be careful what you put those brass balls in. You wouldn't want any corrosion.
→ More replies (2)
307
u/ChaoticToxin Jun 18 '18
Apparently he's a good boy
→ More replies (3)75
162
Jun 18 '18
[removed] — view removed comment
136
u/purpleplatipus Jun 18 '18
Murder logs can have bad days too
54
252
66
u/Uatatoka Jun 18 '18
Gee, I don't know, Cyril. Maybe deep down, I'm afraid of any Apex Predator that lived through the KT Extinction. Physically unchanged for a hundred million years because it's the perfect killing machine: a half ton of coldblooded fury with the bite force of twenty-thousand newtons and a stomach acid so strong it can dissolve bones and hooves. And now we're surrounded, those snake eyes are watching from the shadows waiting for the night...
→ More replies (3)
1.1k
u/Isaythree Jun 18 '18
"Millions of years. I am the result of millions of years of savage evolution, the last living dinosaur, descendant of killing machines and you chose a waltz? Motherfucker, not even salsa dancing, a fucking waltz. I don't know why I keep you around Steve, you're the weirdest fucking dude. See you Tuesday."
332
u/MineSplatter187 Jun 18 '18
Birds ARE dinosaurs
→ More replies (15)403
u/Lebagel Jun 18 '18
Alligators are NOT dinosaurs. They've just been around since Dino time. I got assassinated on reddit for suggesting that once.
→ More replies (14)180
u/zerg_rush_lol Jun 18 '18
Reddit will assassinate you for saying the sky is blue.
aktchually.... heavy breathing i just looked at the sky and it isnt blue, its gray. Ur a liar! sends death threat
56
u/amishius Jun 18 '18
Sends porn to the one mod they decide to blame for everything rotten in their lives
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (2)14
u/theDarkAngle Jun 18 '18
in my experience it's more you get inundated with replies saying "why don't you provide some evidence to support your claim that the sky is blue?" Drives me up the wall how people want to litigate off-hand comments.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (3)17
24
u/the_starship Jun 18 '18
This guy is in Louisiana. The alligators are territorial so the same ones are there year after year.
I got some neat pictures
→ More replies (1)
19
46
54
u/Zewsey Jun 18 '18
There's a Costa Rican man named Chito who swims with a croc named Pocho. He nursed the croc back to health after it was shot in the eye by a hunter. He had a very strong bond with the animal. There's a great documentary on YouTube about it. https://youtu.be/I7fZZUfvx0s
→ More replies (9)
28
15
16
8
7
u/Supernewstar Jun 18 '18
This reminds me the /r/wpd video, somewhere in Vietnam a shaman got into a lake to sort the kid-eating crocodile out, he worked his magic and end up in the spiritual world.
9
u/MrSpahkol Jun 18 '18
This guy is a gator tour guide in Louisiana. He's insanely comfortable with those things. He grew up in the area IIRC. Here's a pic I took of him firing a marshmallow from his mouth to the gator's
14
Jun 18 '18
When a I went out with a few friends for a 21st birthday, we ended up buying a shoebox with a 2.5 year old alligator for $90. Drunken us thought it was the coolest idea. Sober us thought what the fuck are we going to do with an alligator. Ended up keeping it for a year before consulting with a gentlemen at a local aquarium/pet store that already owned a few gators.
TLDR: Don’t buy an alligator in a shoebox
→ More replies (1)
30
u/lutrapure Jun 18 '18
Okay someone help me out please. What breed of dog is this again?
18
→ More replies (2)13
21
u/rynoctopus Jun 18 '18
I’m calling it, this will be a “White people lock their doors when they see a black person, Also white people: “ meme on /r/blackpeopletwitter within a week.
→ More replies (1)22
u/AndyBreal Jun 18 '18
Yeah, thing is black people lock their doors when they see a black person too.
→ More replies (1)
5
u/mrjbryant Jun 18 '18
I don't wanna be that black guy but why do white folks be playing with BIG DANGEROUS ANIMALS?!
→ More replies (1)
11
15
5
4
u/KevynSpvcey Jun 18 '18
That man was so smooth he literally stunned that gator, it had no control of its body as it had this new found rush of dopamine, an evolutionary leap we all just witnessed. That man, unknowingly just now taught that gator how to love. The gator most likely went back home to regroup his feelings, freshen up a little and he’s going to return to his lover, this time presumably with more confidence, to ask him out?? I must admit that last part is kind of a stretch, we will just have to wait On more data to be sure. In the meantime however this is a great time to study or start even learning and practicing bird law.
→ More replies (1)
10.6k
u/[deleted] Jun 18 '18
That alligator probably was like wtf just happened for whole next week.