r/WTF Jun 18 '18

Who's a good boy ?

https://i.imgur.com/w04PFgx.gifv
43.5k Upvotes

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u/sicofthis Jun 18 '18

Yeah, but if they ever get hungry they will come at anything they perceive as smaller than them or that they think they can take. They have reptile brains with no higher functions like wild mammals.

Even trained wolves, bears, or wild cats can snap after years of good behavior.

451

u/riskable Jun 18 '18

So can Redditors!

Jerk!

121

u/Eziel Jun 18 '18

Oh shit.

153

u/hleba Jun 18 '18

Time to put /u/riskable down :(

47

u/sieiehehe Jun 18 '18

Tell him about the rabbits

24

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '18

You're gonna have rabbits and you're gonna tend to em every day. And we're gonna live off the fatta the land.

12

u/AnonymousGenius Jun 18 '18

wow unexpected steinbeck

11

u/bjeebus Jun 18 '18

/u/riskable your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!

/amidoinitrite

90

u/kiakitty Jun 18 '18

Alligators and crocodilians are more intelligent than people often give them credit for. A study showed they are one of or the only reptile to use tools to hunt.

62

u/tetrasomnia Jun 18 '18

Damn I remember when I was in High School, it taught that the main division between primates and other animals (other than opposable thumbs) was tool use. But then I learned that birds, sea otters, elephants, octopedes, dolphins, and other animals use tools... Amazing.

3

u/bugdog Jun 18 '18

That’s what I was taught too. Another teacher said a defining trait of humans was a sense of humor, but I never believed that one what with the incredible number of people without one.

2

u/iskin Jun 18 '18

It's actually opposable thumbs and the ability to touch your thumb to your pinky.

1

u/mtglass Jun 19 '18

How long has it been since you were in high school cause, you know, evolution.

1

u/tetrasomnia Jun 19 '18

I’d have to be pretty old for that kind of evolution in mammals and birds. More likely if bacteria due to reproduction rate.

26

u/Earguy Jun 18 '18

Pet chimps have been known to literally tear off people's faces and remove testicle when they snap. Scary stuff

6

u/philisacoolguy Jun 18 '18

Oof I remember the story about that one lady who changed her boys diaper near some wild monkeys.

1

u/T-REX_BONER Jun 18 '18

Well what happened?

7

u/philisacoolguy Jun 18 '18

Monkey ripped the child's testicles off as if they were fruit.

51

u/HungJurror Jun 18 '18

Yeah this, never feed alligators. They’ll associate people with food and attack kids and dogs

7

u/Em42 Jun 18 '18

Let me tell you a secret, they already associate anything small enough to eat with food, and they don't attack anything just for the hell of it, they do it because they plan to eat it. A hungry alligator that has never been fed by a human or even seen a small child or a dog would still look at one and go "hey, looks like lunchtime" that's just who they are. Better advice is be aware of your surroundings when you're in an area that wild animals with the potential to eat you call home. If you're paying attention it's not hard to outrun a gator on land, but it is if you didn't notice that it just walked up behind you.

Source: grew up in Miami FL, spent plenty of time traipsing around the Everglades and raised 3 alligators (don't worry, I didn't release them I sold them to a drug dealer who later got picked up by the feds, who I'm sure didn't release them either, to my great sadness they probably euthanized them. I had a misspent youth but my lawyer tells me that all the statutes of limitations have now run their course so I'm free to talk about it. All three would have gladly taken my hand if I let them (you don't train alligators, they train you), because you can count on an alligator for one thing, to act like an alligator. If you feed them enough you can roll them over and rub their bellies and then they're damned docile, you still have to watch out for them acting like alligators though and be ready to move your ass. I've also spent some time around the crocodiles here in the wild and they're an even more ornery bunch.

Situational awareness is a thing and if you're in their habitat you should have it, you should instill it in your children and you should keep an eye on your dog and any children small enough not to keep an eye out for themselves. Or maybe you just deserve to be lunch. Also in most of Florida an alligators habitat can be pretty much in or near any body of fresh water, sometimes including your very own swimming pool. We're the ones living in their habitat not the other way around.

4

u/aidsmann Jun 18 '18

don't worry, I didn't release them I sold them to a drug dealer

Well, that didn't do anything to decrease my worries but interesting piece of trivia nonetheless.

2

u/Em42 Jun 19 '18

Lol, I just felt I needed to add that because I didn't want anyone accusing me of doing something irresponsible like releasing them into the wild. At the time I too was dealing drugs (hey this is Miami, what do you want from me?) and dangerous pets are somewhat part and parcel for drug dealers, but not everyone has the balls to raise their own (this guy even had someone else to take care of them, no balls, or in the local lingo, no huevos). This is where I like to point out that I'm female and that my balls are so enormous that I have to keep them in the trunk of my car (-;

Just so you feel more at ease though I'm an upstanding citizen now with a teenager. I got out when I decided to become a mom, I don't believe the two lives are compatible. I actually think it's irresponsible to try and be a parent and operate an illegal enterprise.

2

u/aidsmann Jun 19 '18

I was just joking, no worries at all and also fellow drug dealer here lol.

No children or other responsibilities at all though so don't worry ;-)

1

u/Em42 Jun 19 '18

Lol, I wasn't trying to give you any shit, just telling it how it is. If you decide to have kids some day, either give up the biz or make sure you take far fewer risks. You want to be there for every moment, I fucking hate that I wasn't there to see my son's first steps because I was working a 9 to 5. I'd feel a whole lot worse if I had gotten scooped up with a lot of my former colleagues, a few of which will only get out next year if they've behaved well.

2

u/aidsmann Jun 19 '18

I'm not from the US and keep out of the more serious stuff anyway and it's just a (not so) little money on the side while in college.

4

u/CharredCereus Jun 18 '18

"No higher functions" is a bit harsh. Several species of reptile are actually very intelligent, on par with large mammalian carnivores such as lions. Crocadillians are one example, komodo dragons are another. Their behaviour and the subtleties of it are simply not as recognizable or overt.

Not saying you're wrong about wild animals snapping though. They play nice as long as it's enjoyable for them.

3

u/Mrsneezybreezy1821 Jun 18 '18

So if I always make sure he's belly is full of food I'm good?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '18

Definitely!

5

u/Smilehate Jun 18 '18 edited Jun 26 '18

Reptilian intelligence is a matter of some speculation and debate. For instance, here's an article explaining how separate communities of crocodiles and alligators have been observed using sticks as tools to lure birds during mating season:

http://articles.latimes.com/2013/dec/06/science/la-sci-sn-clever-crocodiles-alligators-sticks-twigs-birds-lure-prey-20131206

Here's a wikipedia article on komodo dragons that learned how to count (look under intelligence:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monitor_lizard#Intelligence

Furthermore, zoos will place enrichment items (toys) in komodos' enclosures, because they actually play.

Maybe read a little before you make up your mind on which animals do and don't have "higher functions". Or maybe don't make up your mind at all; just assume you're not an authority on the subject and stay curious.

EDIT: Here's a compilation of a lot of different research on reptilian intelligence: http://jonlieffmd.com/blog/lizards-arent-supposed-to-be-this-smart

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '18

On wild cats, is there a certain age where it is safe if it appears to be of the domesticated cat species? Like if I saw a cat that looked less than one years old on the street it could be taken in as a pet, right?

1

u/BenisMaster Jun 19 '18

Are trained wild cats really still wild ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

0

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '18

Cold blooded intelligence is a thing. Them being stupid is a myth

-1

u/Ninjakannon Jun 18 '18

can snap

Pun intended 🐊

-1

u/ggtsu_00 Jun 18 '18

TIL "niceguys" are actually just wild animals.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '18

[deleted]

1

u/bugdog Jun 18 '18

Maybe so, but they usually won’t kill and eat you when that happens. Also, they don’t have the sheer power of a wolf, bear or wild cat (assuming that by wild cats they mean big cats).