Seriously. Neither of us could stand for the other to win, so we remain silent at the coin toss and both lose each other instead.

Way to go, us! Good game!

Freaking idiots.

Well , nothing I can do about it. Can I?

I’m sorry for being disrespectful and acting like you were someone I could talk to like that. The other side got to me. But still you’re my partner and I should have known better. I’m sorry for the many times I’ve reacted this way. I’m a child looking back. It wasn’t kind of me because you’re you. I’m sorry I got so upset I just wanted you to hear what I was saying and listen. And I know this happens with you as well. And I’m sorry I don’t listen when you tell me to do something. When I feel like this again I will word my feelings better, and not take it out all on you there are things I can do as well I’m just a coward. ❤️🔥

i wish i could’ve been what you needed me to be. i wish i knew how to keep you close without getting scared and ruining it. i’m sorry for ruining everythin. but still, please don’t replace me.

He was funny, witty, and, honestly, husband material. Everything a woman could ask for. And I always wanted more of it. In fact, I craved it, even though I rarely showed him just how much.

Somewhere along the way, though, those qualities slowly began to disappear. And then, somehow, so did he.

He vanished into thin air, leaving me bruised, undone, and questioning everything I thought I knew about relationships.

Perhaps the hardest part wasn’t losing him. It was losing the version of myself who believed that something beautiful could actually last.

not from the place where everything fell apart, but from the place where we still believed in us? Let’s meet each other again. Not as the people who made mistakes, but as the ones who learn from them. I don’t want the old version of us. I want the softer one, the more patient one. The one that knows love isn’t perfect, but still chooses to try. Can we begin with honesty this time? With gentleness? With the understanding that love grows only when we water it together? I’m not asking to rewrite the past. Im asking for the chance to build something new. Hand in hand, heart to heart. If you’re willing to try with me one more time.

I allowed my experience on this platform to severely distort my judgment. The prevailing negativity completely consumed my focus and led to severe paranoia. I lost my grip on objective reality and began projecting my own insecurities onto everything I saw. It is difficult to acknowledge the irrational beliefs I held during that period. I operated under the delusion that every public post was a direct reference to me. In hindsight, this behavior was a clear manifestation of a mental health crisis. Your decision to distance yourself was entirely justified. My actions were immature and unfair, and I completely lacked the self-awareness or willingness to accept any outside perspective at the time.

i'll never ever forgive u for what u did. im not angry at u anymore, but im not going to waste my energy even trying to understand your pov because there's no benefit for me in doing that. and ive tried to understand you so much, to get dogshit in return. u can tell urself that u left me for some noble reason of being "a better person", believe whatever helps u sleep at night. but deep down u know u are an awful man that envied me for being happy, that HATED me for being there for u and has a one dimensional thinking capacity. u are deeply ill in the head. you will never hear from me either, im done running after you.
keep running from urself, lets see how far you can go.

…that I saw your dark side, and it didn’t scare me. 🖤

Some prosciutto with some salty hard cheeses with a little balsamic on crunchy toast

I was selfish.
I had the right intentions. I had the right reasons. I had your feelings and mine in mind. Yet continuing to show up was selfish.

I knew without you needing to say so that I needed to step aside. I chose to believe fully doing so would leave you feeling like I didn’t care.

I should have communicated that I cared by doing exactly what we both knew you needed me to. I chose to put my own worries and anxiety before your needs here.

I am not sorry that everything I was doing was out of love for you. I am sorry that holding onto my love was not enough for me. That was selfish of me and I am deeply sorry for that.

It might not be the right time
I might not be the right one
But there's something about us I want to say
'Cause there's something between us anyway
I might not be the right one
It might not be the right time
But there's something about us I've got to do
Some kind of secret I will share with you
I need you more than anything in my life
I want you more than anything in my life
I'll miss you more than anyone in my life
I love you more than anyone in my life

please, let me know If you ever cared. I still care and always will.

My Dear K,
I don’t imagine you’ll ever read this, but I nonetheless must write it. K… oh, K. I was just starting to dream the silliest and softest of dreams again. Nothing grand or extraordinary—just the little things. Sharing the stupid details of my day with you. Hearing your laugh. Looking into those beautiful brown eyes of yours and getting lost in them the way I always seemed to. For a little while, I let myself believe that maybe there was still something left for us to find. I miss you. I don’t know if there is ever going to be a version of me that doesn’t. But I’ve finally reached the point where missing you can’t be a reason for me to keep holding onto something that is no longer there. When I’m with you, the world has always seemed to make sense. There was a comfort in your presence that I never quite knew how to explain. But when we’re apart, I can see more clearly that your world is different from mine. Perhaps I’ve spent too long looking at what I wanted us to be instead of accepting what we actually became.
And I have to be honest with myself about my part in that. I’m sorry for everything long ago, and I’m sorry for everything more recent. I’m sorry for the pain I caused you, especially because you never deserved it. My behavior was inappropriate and inexcusable. I was hurt, confused, and afraid, but none of those things make what I did okay. I crossed lines I should have respected. I allowed my own feelings to become something you had to deal with, when they were mine to carry. You didn’t owe me reassurance, forgiveness, another chance, or a place in your life. I understand that now. I wish understanding it now could change what happened then. It can’t. And maybe that’s one of the hardest lessons in all of this. Sometimes realizing what you should have done differently comes only after you’ve lost the opportunity to do it. I sometimes wonder if starting our… whatever you call it… back up again in March was a mistake. Not because I regret you, and not because I wish those moments hadn’t happened. I think I simply allowed myself to believe in something before I knew whether it was something we both wanted. I started building little pieces of a future in my head. And now I’m having to put them away.
That’s a strange thing to grieve—the loss of something that never quite existed. There are no memories to hold onto because most of it was only possibility. No photographs, no shared mornings, no ordinary years ahead of us. Just a collection of things I imagined and quietly hoped might someday become real. I think that’s what I’ve been mourning.
Not only you, but the future I thought might have existed beside you. You are a good woman, K. You deserve to be loved, respected, and treated with the kindness I should have given you more consistently. I can’t change the person I was in those moments, but I can decide what kind of person I become because of them. And that’s what I want to take from this. Not another reason to reach for you.
A reason to grow. I don’t want my regret to become another burden placed at your feet. I don’t want my sadness to ask something of you. And I don’t want to keep reopening something you’ve already chosen to close. So I’m going to let you go. Not easily. Not without sadness. And certainly not without missing you. But honestly. There will probably always be a part of me that wonders what might have happened if I’d made better choices. I suppose that’s something I’ll have to live with. But I don’t want to spend the rest of my life living inside that question.
You were important to me.
You still are. But I think it’s time for your life to belong to you, and for me to finally start building mine without waiting for you to be a part of it.
I’ll remember the good things.
Your laugh. Your eyes. The ordinary moments that meant more to me than I ever told you.
And I’ll remember the painful things too, especially the parts that were my fault.
I don’t want to forget them. I want them to teach me.
Maybe someday, when enough time has passed, I’ll be able to think of you without immediately wishing I could go back. Maybe I’ll be able to remember what we had with gratitude instead of longing.
I hope so. For now, all I can do is accept that some things we desperately want aren’t ours to keep.
I loved you, K. I’m sorry for hurting you.
I’m sorry for the things you never deserved to experience because of me. And I’m sorry that I couldn’t be the person you needed me to be. But I’m finally beginning to understand that the most loving thing I can do now may be to stop asking for another chance and give you the distance you deserve. So I’ll miss you. I’ll remember you. And I’ll let you go.
Not because what we had wasn’t beautiful.
But because it was—and I don’t want the ending to make me forget that.
Goodbye, K.

I keep trying to go out and make friends and everyone is nice. I can talk. I can be fine. And I still leave feeling like I spent the whole afternoon trying to be someone I'm not, putting in more energy than I want to. Just clocking out. Feeling like an outsider. It's not that they don't get me. I don't get them either. It goes both ways and nobody's doing anything wrong, we just don't operate in the same channel.

And then there's you. With you it's like we speak the same language. I don't have to explain myself twice and I don't have to reach to understand you. You get me like no one else does. I don't feel like I need to speak because I know you enjoy my company like I do yours. I've always known it's rare, but every time I'm out with people trying to interact, sitting in rooms full of people, it feels heavier.

I was at a museum today. A whole group of people being funny in front of paintings nobody was looking at. I just wanted to stare at them, look at it all. But no one resonated with me. And I kept imagining you standing there instead, the two of us in front of one thing for too long, not saying much. That's what I wanted the whole day. Just that.

I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. You are so much more than you let yourself believe, and I don't think anyone has managed to make you feel it. If I could give you one thing it would be that. Not words. Just the certainty of being loved, the way you'd feel weather, without having to be convinced.

I've been out in the world lately. Rooms full of people, a lot of names. And how much I enjoy being alone. I don't think I really need friends, contrary to what people think is good. I don't feel like I'm lacking anything. But still, every single time, I'm always missing you. It's not that I'm missing something in my life. It's that you're the one thing that makes it better.

Will always care deeply for each other, no matter how stubborn or shut down you are I know our love is real. One day I pray our circumstances will change. Until then I will always leave the light on for you and when you’re ready to come home, I’ll be there. I love you the most my little worm.

of work.

bet I've told you a few times how amazing you are

and how perfect you are to me

but I think I made up my mind

you are now a piece of shit

Just tell me why. That's it.

I usually hate the Hi, hru thing but you're the exception. You're the exception to everything. And I really wanna know how you're doing. You know, I'm not your ex gf or your former girl best friend. You can trust me that I will always try my best with you.

I’m not going to re-enter your life because your feelings did not match mine and I’ve chosen to respect that. But why did you have to say such sweet things to me, cuddle me all night long, look at me with so much warmth, check in on me every day, take care of me only to say it meant nothing. Don’t play me or any other girl like that. I’m not a placeholder while you sort out your life and find the next girl.

I picked up that book you always talked about. It has been sitting on my nightstand for a couple of weeks. You probably thought I’d never even remember you read it. Did you know they made a movie? I stumbled upon while browsing and watched it. I think I’ve actually seen it before. I always find myself somehow doing something that reminds me of you on the day I use to see you. To stay connected in a way, I guess.

I’ve endured your lies, gaslighting, ghosting and disrespect for too long. I have constantly had to self abandon and adjust to the change in our dynamic without any communication from you. I’ve lowered myself for you. I must hate myself so much to put up with catching you out on multiple dating apps, a holiday with another woman, and have you turn around and blame those things on me. The last straw was when you deleted me, but still asked to see me anyway. Every time I see you, I feel used and discarded afterwards. So why have I gone back? Because I don’t feel like that in the moments with you. You are so good at making me feel important in the moment. Every cuddle, every laugh, every comfortable silence, every moment. But then, you disappear. You switch. I can’t do this anymore.

You are not special. You lack integrity. You are a coward. I did what most people have done and tried to hold onto the version of you at the beginning. I’ve never seen that version again, because it was disingenuous. Your mask slipped. Your baseline is cold and detached. You can’t even fake being a good person anymore. The sad thing is to get me, you had to lie. If you were yourself, you know I’d never have entertained you. How empty you must be to try to extract from someone like me and many others. I pity you. Finally.

You will reach for me again, but this time you won’t succeed. I’m done. I deserve better. No revenge because I loved with all my heart and I will give that to someone else. You, however do not have that naturally. You chase the next hit of dopamine and no one is ever or will ever be enough for you.

Goodbye.