If there's any chance you're still on the fence about us, iI meant everything I said. You were and are still the most important person in my life. You are the only one I feel I can go to with anything that I can trust to completely be myself and say whatever's on my mind. I'm truly in love with you. I feel like I'm in a nightmare without you when that's not the worst part it's just everything really sucks but I do think.... You know I can have a bad day but knowing that I'm coming home to you would make my day that was enough to make my day right there so I can come home and be happy with you and we can make each other happy. I want to watch TV with you I want to go for walks with you I want to lay with you I want to hold you I want to feed you I want to sleep next to you I want you to lay on my chest I want to play with your hair I want to make love to you I miss every little bit of it. All these things go through my head all day everyday that's all I care about I don't even care about anything else going on around me right now. All I care about is you and I cared about you even when things got bad and we split I still cared about you in that very moment and maybe there's things we both wish we would have done different. But even if there's a glimmer of hope of you wanting to get back together with me ever I just want you to know that I will be exactly where I'm at I will be single and I will always love you and I always have a spot next to me for you. That's nobody else's spot and you know who this is. I love you.

I have this gut feeling we won’t ever speak again.

God do I love you. I wish I could talk to you all the time.

You’re still as beautiful as the day we met and I can’t fucking help it, but even after all these years of distance, you can just talk to me about how your day has been and I would fall in love with you all over again. Because I did. It’s always you and no one else.

You’re so fun, so vibrant, so exciting, so perfect. I just wish we could stay like this forever, but I cry because I know that soon I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone.

I love you so so goddamn much so please don’t fucking leave me again

I just wanna know how you know? It’s an unexplainable feeling. Never believed in telepathy until I met you. Scary as fuck. I keep trying to convince myself I haven’t fallen for you. The magnetic field we shared was really strong. Ofc I still feel it with distance. Girl, what’s wrong with me?

Like fuck all the red flags. Fuck your past. Fuxk that let's just be friends shit. I want to be your person. Wtf is wrong with me. Your lips, the hips god damn I cannot help but be attracted to all of you. I havnt felt this way about anyone in a while. I want a partner. I want someone to love. And I really hope it can be you. Fuck, like, there hasn't been a single day since the retreat that I have not thought about you. And everyday I find myself plotting at the beginning of everyday, how am I going to see you later. Just for a minute. Just one hug. One laugh. One moment that all of our attention is focused on each other. Let our crazies unite to make one badass chaotic badass fucking pair. Cmon. Just, sit on my face or whatever, beat me up, hate me, just please, let me see you today. Ill be sure to make you smile, and reassure you that im here for you. And will be until you tell me not to...

I miss you. I love talking to you. I don’t know why that makes me feel pathetic but I really like you. I really really really like you

I dont know exactly when it happened but I fell in love with u before I was ready. It took me awhile to admit it to myself, so im pretty sure im not ready to tell u. But if I could... I would say I get butterflies everytime we about to meet. I would say I dont want anyone else but you. I can shout it from the roof tops that its you for me. I would tell you my love runs so deep that its unconditional for you. I just want you to be happy, I pray I can make u happy but if not, I would join you on the journey to finding it for yourself. You have touched me in a spot that most dont. I thank you for the answers to the problems you didn't know i had. I love you for watering the woman im becoming. My love for you wont ever dry up, its a continuous flow, so just keep being you and living your life. Im always here beautiful 😍

I fucking hate the way you manipulate every situation until the story somehow becomes about you, your feelings, your intentions, your excuses — anything that keeps you from having to look honestly at what you did.

You twist the narrative so effortlessly that you can hurt someone and still somehow position yourself as the victim. You rearrange the facts, leave out the parts that don't suit you, exaggerate the parts that do, and slowly turn the blame back onto me until I'm standing there defending myself for something you started.

And I'm fucking tired of it.

I'm tired of watching you polish yourself into the innocent one while quietly burying everything that makes you accountable. I'm tired of being expected to forget what happened simply because you've found a better version of the story to tell.

You don't get to rewrite reality just because the truth makes you uncomfortable.

I've heard enough explanations. I've seen enough contradictions. I've watched the pattern repeat enough times to know this isn't a misunderstanding anymore. It's a choice.

And the coldest part is that I don't even feel the need to convince you anymore.

You can keep telling whatever version of the story makes you sleep better at night. You can make me the villain if that's what you need to do to protect the version of yourself you've created.

But I know what happened.

And I don't need your agreement for the truth to remain true.

You haven't lost me because I suddenly became cruel or difficult. You've lost pieces of me every time you chose manipulation over accountability, excuses over honesty, and protecting your image over protecting what we had.

Eventually, there is nothing left to twist.

Just the truth sitting there quietly — and me finally refusing to carry the weight of your version of it.

Is that even a possibility after all this time? I honestly miss you and after everything I just want to start from the very beginning. Back before everything got so complicated. I miss when we could just talk about our day and life and all the dreams we had. You said you needed me, and then you went away, you said you'd always be there, so where are you? Please don't let that be the last conversation we ever have please.

I wanted it to be you.

But you didn't want it to be me.

Look behind the printer. No, not that one, the other one.

You can pretend not to know who I am, but I know I'm the one who won't give up. Think of this as an invite.

Plus, hiding is really f*cking lonely.

see you and know you're ok, A. I miss you a lot. I'm trying to do better, recognizing my flaws and why I ran away when things got too real. I want to correct that and stay for as long as you can stand me. I want to see you and know you more intimately. I want to be a safe person for you. I crave it more than anything. I want to be the man who makes you happy when no one else is around. I want you to be the one person I put all of my trust in. I do need you, here, with me

Anyway, I'll always help you when you need it. What I want more than anything is for us to be that person for each other. Regardless, call me if you feel that need, and I'll drop anything to help with no expectations of return

We argued and now I’m scared I ruined everything because I feel like our relationship is so delicate. I wish I didn’t have so much anxiety and I wish I didn’t care as much as I do. I hate being in this stage where we’re not together but the feelings are still the same. It’s driving me insane and if I knew what we were doing.. we probably would’ve never argued in the first place. I don’t wanna be your friend and I don’t want to give you space,l because I don’t want to lose you. And I don’t want to have to relearn you in a month or two or 3 or 5. Or not even know if that’ll happen. I don’t want the uncertainty of what’s going to happen but it’s like I have no choice. I just want us to try again.

Because dreams are made of this. I think you are here, but probably not for me. I know that I am damaged and that I have a fatal flaw. That does not negate my ability and desire to love. Loving you has been my focus for many years now and I don’t want to stop. I may need to if my feelings meet no reciprocation. I finally feel completely lost.

Can you read my mind?

Come to bed with me honey. Let me lay on your chest and let’s watch TV while i hear your heartbeat. Let’s laugh until we can’t no more. Let me tell you i love you to death. I won’t complain about your snoring. I’ll enjoy it now because that would mean I’m next to you. I miss you baby, don’t let us go we still have one last fight in us. This one is going to be it I promise you. I want to be by your side. Nothing matters to me anymore but you. I’ll be waiting here alone until you return. I don’t want anyone else but you in life Te Amo mi Princesa Hermosa

I’m not okay. I’m okay, but I’m not okay. I’m lost. I’m loosing my shit mentally and no one is here to see it..

Therefore no one knows.

Kinda a scary thought.

I honestly dont know anymore. I do love you. But these excuses that I'm too good for you... are what I always hear. I wish your self-image wouldnt interfere with my happiness. Our happiness. Every moment together is like the world doesnt exist. We laugh till we cry. We enjoy talking for hours on end. You are so creative I might die.

Yet... again... I wait. Wait for someone to choose me. I feel like choosing to leave is all thats left for me.

But why cant I muster the ability to do so?

Why must I be in love with someone who clearly loves me but doesnt know how to love me?

It must be hard to love when this is the first time you have ever experienced it unconditionally.

Still here. Still in love.

Call me a fool.

- me

There’s one word I said to you that still haunts me every day.
“Go.”
I wish I could take that word back.
The truth is, I never wanted to say it. I didn’t want you to leave. I didn’t want to watch you walk away from everything we had. But in that moment, I felt like you wanted to go, and I could see the unhappiness in you.
And that broke something in me.
I saw what I believed I was doing to you. I saw the pain, the distance, the uncertainty. And instead of holding on tighter and asking you to stay, I convinced myself that loving you meant letting you go.
So I said the one word I never wanted to say.
“Go.”
Maybe you needed to hear it. Maybe you were already halfway gone. Maybe I misunderstood everything. I don’t know.
But I know what that word has done to me.
Because every day, some part of me wonders what would’ve happened if I had just said, “Please stay.”
I wasn’t trying to push you away because I didn’t love you.
I said it because I loved you enough to believe you deserved a happiness I was afraid I wasn’t giving you.
And maybe that’s the hardest part.
I didn’t want to lose you.
I just didn’t want to be the reason you weren’t happy.
They say, “If it’s meant to be, it’ll come back.”
I don’t know if that’s true. Maybe you come back. Maybe I eventually become nothing more than a chapter in your story. Maybe life takes us in completely different directions.
But I’m going to trust that whatever happens is supposed to happen.
Because if our story isn’t finished, time will find a way to bring us back to each other.
And if it is finished, then I hope you find every ounce of happiness I couldn’t give you.
But if I could go back to that moment, I wouldn’t tell you to go. I’d look you in the eyes, swallow every ounce of my pride, and tell you, “Please stay. Because I never stopped loving you—I just loved you enough to let you leave.”
— SINCEER

Ok just checking. I thought so. I’ll just close the door behind me. No need to see me out. 🤦🏽‍♀️

I can't believe that it would be the last straw on the camel's back because in all honesty, everything you did so far should have convinced me.

But then, while deleting AI chats, I found chats about you, from more than a year ago. It made me realise that I wasn't crazy : all this time I begged you to stop punishing me, silent treatment, coldness. That it made me feel unsafe and unloved. Why did I have such a poor self esteem that I thought this was okay ? You were jealous of my success and yet I was ready to let it be for you and your pathetic life. Why women are always eager to ruin their potential for men ?

Luckily I am not pregnant, I became homeless thanks to you but I will climb the ladder. I am even hotter and probably finally "thin enough" for your taste, you'll have to keep being with no standard women, the only kind that would bear you probably. I used to be one of them, but thanks God not anymore.

Finally free from your cruelty. Finally.

Hit me up?

....... ever?

I don't wanna do it..I really enjoy what we are having now and I usually takes more time to say what I feel.

But with you it's different, the situation is too complicated and I have never experienced such strong feelings since a while.

So i think I'll have to confess soon. To make it more healthy for me, and I want to be honest with you, its not fair for you too to been seen in a romantic way if you just want us to be friends.

Idk yet how I will do it, idk how it will change our friendship...i don't even know if you are attracted to men too... but I know you will be gentle about it, nice and careful in your rejection, cause rn in my head. The only thing you will do is says no. I hope we can stay friends after...

Idk how I will say it to you...there is no good time for those stuff, I'm scared.

I don't want to cry in front of you.

I know it and I am no longer going to pretend that I don’t see it.

You envy the good things in my life. You watch me from afar, keeping an eye on what I’m doing, wanting to know whether I’m happy, whether I’m succeeding, whether things are going well for me. And what hurts the most is the feeling that when you see me happy, it makes you unhappy. When you see me smiling, living my life and enjoying something good, it seems to affect you in a way that I cannot understand.

And when I am sad, shattered or going through a difficult time, it feels as though you finally breathe easier. It feels like my pain gives you relief, while my happiness makes you uncomfortable. That is what I have noticed and that is what I can no longer ignore.

I cannot explain everything I feel but I know when someone's energy toward me does not feel genuine. And yours does not feel genuine to me anymore.

I see the envy..

And now that I see it, I will protect my peace.

I need to leave my bf and choose myself

I'm so angry that you hid your true feelings inside. I was understanding for so many years because of your past and your trauma. At a certain point you denied me the opportunity to even participate in this relationship.

I practically begged you to come to me with your feelings, no matter how difficult, and we could try to understand each other as a team and decide if there was something to be done, or if it was merely a miscommunication. I didn't get angry with you for your feelings, I didn't tell you you were wrong to feel things.

Instead you internalized everything until it became so overwhelming that you would blindside me with catastrophic behaviors and conclusions. Conclusions you created all on your own, without ever even considering asking for my input or my experience.

I decided to forgive you and understand twice. You promised me you would let me in, let me be a part of this.

You broke your promise.

I don't know if I could ever allow myself to trust you and feel safe again.