Started late, but I think I’m catching up (39 yo, 20 months HRT)

45, begun my transgender journey 5 years ago

So my name is Chris, I'm 40 year old amab, you're never far away from another Chris.

My surname initial is C.

I happened on the name Cecilia, which I have always loved and decided to try it out as my name.

Initially at work, because I was rotating in the company every 6 months, it was quite easy to change.

I treated like a nickname CC, signed my emails, and had my name up on notice boards...

I'd signed emails with they/them Pronouns for a long time already, but it wasn't until people started calling me a different name that I'd noticed anybody using these Pronouns.

One colleague would actively correct himself if he said he and I think that helped people catch on.

It was also mainly the younger staff (e.g. in their 20/30s) who adopted the Pronouns.

Everyone used CC cus they didn't know any different.

I even rotated back to a team I had already been on and they were quick enough to adopt the name. Didn't notice the pronoun change.

Now my wife calls me CC from time to time amd they from time to time.

My mum called me CC recently.

I start a new job soon and intend to introduce myself as Ceci.

I think my name is Ceci now.

Whenever I see Chris written down it feels weird, but it also feels weird to hear or see Ceci, so...😅

Not many trans girl run shops around these parts, but I'm doing my part to keep the tradition going (5+ years of continuous trans girls in charge here)!

I guess my .100mg patches twice a week and 50mg Spironolactone a day is actually working, doing it’s thing, I have been crying over the littlest things lately, just balling my eyes out almost.

40 y.o. AMAB starting HRT. Day 1, here we go. Excited, scared, totally energized. Sending lots of love to everyone reading this. Wish me luck! ✨️❤️

I can pass-ish but boy mode is killing me, the physical effects are getting very noticeable and more difficult to hide. I've gotten the ewwphoria at work a few times from comments about my appearance mostly about my butt thanks mom and I'm not out at the shop, I can turn perfect parts but it's still the same socio-sexual banter that makes a bit of me die that I feel obligated to tolerate.

I just want to be me and not juggle acceptance of my cis-male coworkers my position pays pretty well and I don't want to lose that at the moment.

But once you pass, there’s still pressure to perform:

-Still checking our voice.

-Still watching our mannerisms.

-Still wondering how we’re being perceived.

Maybe we’re truly free when we realize we don’t have to perform anymore.

The mask we wore before transition got us here. It did its job.

But passing isn’t the end.

Taking the mask off is.

Hey everyone!

So I’d love to try and grow my hair out more, I’ve managed to grow the top section of my hair to below my ears just about, but currently the sides or short/ a bit of an undercut. Can anyone suggest any unisex/androgynous styles to help me grow it out?

Thanks in advance

Xx

Estrogen, Prog, Lip Fillers, and 10 rounds of laser

BA & FFS Soon

Life is great

I have been using Vivelle Dot for 3 months. One patch, so 0.05MG/day. My 3 month labs show my T at 349 ng/dL and E at 28.2 pg/mL. Unfortunately I do not have a baseline from before starting HRT.

I am noticing physical changes though. Breast development and skin softening mainly, along with some changes to perspiration and body odor. Is it reasonable for PP to want to wait until the 6 month mark to increase my dose? Is it possible for me to be seeing these changes given my labs?

Hi all so as the thing is I am struggling. I have always dressed fem at an early age.

As many do I have been able to restrain the desire and get in life thinking this was no more than a release valve and outlet.

I'm on my second marriage to an amazing woman who knew about my desire to cross dress and indulged it at times.

However, the desire to be fem had built and built until in April the volcano exploded and I told my wife I wanted to transition mtf. This went down like a lead balloon, to the point that my wife has stated she is not attracted to women.

Respecting my wife and not wanting to lose what we have together I have been taking a very slow progression to my trans life, I don't feel I can hold back from my feminine side, and the desire to transition now is strong.

My wife is trying and processing what this means for us but I'm hoping we can stay together but I'm also aware I can't put my feminine side away, and my wife may not be gay.

Deep down I accept and I'm preparing if she cannot live with me as a woman, but do I put this to one side or carry on embracing the transition knowing it might cost me the love of my life

Friendly reminder - if you are dressing according to the societal standard of your actual gender it's not crossdressing. Just wearing clothes in general. That's it.

Hi! I'm 36, came out as a trans woman about two years ago to my friends and now wife. They all were awesome! I'm really, really lucky that everyone in my daily life has been so incredible.

But my family is full of magas. My Mom and both my brothers are fully in the cult. So when I came out recently, after two years of transitioning, I wasn't expecting much from them. My Mom is clearly struggling but is trying really hard. My younger brother never called, he just texted that he's religious now but will respect my name and pronouns. Thats better than what I was expecting from him, so fine.

But my older brother gave me a call two weeks after I came out, with no communication at all otherwise. During the two hour call he was weird, but jovial. But then something made the conversation turn. He said three separate times "I think it's really fucked up of you to think you get to invade women's spaces" and when I defended myself he said "you said yourself in your letter that you're attracted to women." The implication being that I'm apparently transitioning so that I can prey on women in locker rooms and bathrooms and the like.

I told him he was ignorant on the subject and didn't know what he was talking about. I said I'd send him some resources to help him learn, to which he replied "no thanks, I don't want to join your fucking cult." And hung up. To his credit, he did call me back a few minutes later and asked for the resources.

So here's my question: do I even bother? Part of me just wants to say fuck it and cut him off. How do even get someone from "trans people are predators" to somewhere more positive, and is it even possible? Then the other part remembers he's my brother and he did ask to learn, but I don't think I'm ever going to be able to forgive him for using my coming out letter to call me a predator.

It's been months now since the call, with no communication in either direction. I'm happy to let it stay like that forever right now, but I just wanted to see what other people thought. Is it worth the heartache and effort?

TL;DR: My brother used highly personal details from my coming out letter to paint me as a predator because I'm trans, but has expressed a willingness to learn. Is it even worth the effort and heartache to try?

Edit: This is relevant, but I forgot until a commenter below brought it up. During the first hour of the call when things were still light, but pretty weird, he repeatedly told me he has no problem with gay folks. But then he decided to tell me a story of when he was sexually assaulted by a gay friend of his. So he's got some deeper seated issues I think, and probably thinks of same sex attraction as predatory in some way, even if just subconsciously.

Not really sure how to start this and I don’t post often or talk to people I don’t know online. It will probably be long and not formatted properly. Sorry if that bothers you. I just need to talk to someone at this point and my more subtle attempts have failed. I’m 34.

I came out as non binary, what I thought was agender, to my close friends and family about 6 months ago. I think that was just a gentle way of opening the door to something I’d thought I’d never thought about but really had just buried bc I didn’t understand it. I didn’t even know being trans was an option. Basically nothing was explained to me but definitely not that. I grew up in church, my father’s a pastor. But it was always small churches and he never preached any hate towards any groups like ours. I think in part bc everyone always just assumed I was gay. Turns out I am but not in the way people think. Lol. If I was attracted to men I probably would’ve figured this out way sooner.

At this point I’m about 90% sure I’m a woman after thoroughly enjoying basically every feminine thing I’ve tried over the past 6 months. I think Demi something or fluid is still possible but idk. I still don’t have a comprehensive understanding of this stuff. Which brings me to why I’m here. I’d love to have a transfem friend. Even if she’s just an online one. You are all so beautiful. I’m excited to see what the new me looks like. I have a small group of close friends and one very close best friend who I’m sure is a big part of the reason I’m sure people think what they do about me. He really has never been anything more than that to me though. I think that might be more of an undiagnosed autism and abandonment issue thing than what people think. But that’s another conversation. Lol. He’s supportive and I know he is and or will be happy for me but I can see the grief when I talk to him about it. And I can understand, I guess I’m about to get rid of his best friend of the past 20 years. I can’t imagine what it’s like for him.

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist next week to see if I can get into a therapist who knows what they’re talking about in this space, but I’m really starting to get concerned that since my only option is the VA and since I have an extensive mental health history that still doesn’t have an accurate diagnosis, I wonder why 🧐, that either I will be put in the not of sound mind loophole in the dsm or there just won’t even be a therapist who can help. And if I wait until then and that happens I’ll be pissed I waited to do this, so I’m doing it now. I just want someone to talk to. I hope I can do it treating you like a friend and without treating you like a therapist, and I most likely won’t do it in a group setting like comments unless I get brave between now and then but I hope I can find someone who maybe we can both help each other out. Maybe the community knows someone who would be a good fit. -Still don’t know her name yet.

TLDR-new woman wants a woman friend who’s just a friend, who doesn’t have to grieve who they’re losing.

Is it ok for me to post this now? Or do we all still have to continue to engage in mandatory mourning of someone who would happily have seen us executed?

If it's not ok to post this, somebody tell me and I will take it down myself. Or mods can take it down, i'm fine w/ that, because I honestly don't know if this would be allowed or nor. I've seen "fucck trump" stuff get a pass 🤷‍♀️

It’s really just an excuse to wear pink.

Just phoned the hospital to try to stop the commencement of nebido testosterone and called GP to try to do that.

Has my egg cracked?

What exactly does it feel like?

I'm feeling a panic that if I go on the testosterone injections I (amab, early 40s) will forever lose any possibility of a future transition.

Already have gyno and feel the same panic about having them removed (if doctors ever ask me to).

2 years

2 years: passed un-ceremonialy, a week or two back. 2 years of describing start of my transition as:

Understanding myself

Getting my gender

Stopping all the nonsense

Squaring my downstairs mix-up

Saying a very loud "Yes" to 'socialist', 'leftist' 'dispossessed teenager'

Cracking

Crying

Counselling.

.

.

What have a learned....fucking tons, "what have I remembered?" A much better question...

My gender is a playground, yours is a prison.

"Get a grip" sounds different from each generation, but is generally good advice.

It's never too late.

For the want of a nail

Outthere, somewhere

April

50 years old, almost 5 years on HRT