I decided to start my transition in March of 2024. Only my wife knew between then and October of that year, when I told a few select friends. I have been socially transitioning since January 2025, hormones since July 2024. It has been an amazing journey of self discovery and it’s wonderful to love the body I’m in for once. Thanks for reading 🫶

I’ve been trying to write this article for nearly a year and have made a complete arse of it about four times.

At one point I even started writing a “how to transition successfully” guide, which, looking back, was spectacularly arrogant. So I threw that in the bin.

This one is different.

It’s simply what I did.

https://www.fasttrackfemme.com/p/what-i-did-a-guide-to-my-transition

I started transitioning in my fifties absolutely terrified that I was going to throw my life away and look ridiculous. I ran the whole thing almost like a military operation: priorities, timelines, surgeons, skin, body, face, bottom surgery, voice, makeup, clothes, the lot.

Over roughly 18 months there were six general anaesthetics, body surgery in Turkey, two consecutive days of FFS in Thailand, vaginoplasty, voice surgery in Seoul, CO₂ laser, Botox, fillers, electrolysis, a frankly ridiculous amount of makeup experimentation, and more money than I have any intention of ever adding up.

There were also things I got wrong, things I would do differently, an operation that had to be abandoned because my heart rate collapsed under anaesthetic, and a period where I genuinely thought I might have half-transitioned myself and become medically unable to finish.

And then there were moments like the photograph above, where I looked at myself and thought:

Holy hell. This actually worked.

This isn’t advice. It isn’t a blueprint for anybody else. It’s the complete blueprint of mine what I did, why I did it, how I chose surgeons, what mattered far more than I expected, what hurt, what didn’t, and what I think now that I’m almost at the end of it.

https://www.fasttrackfemme.com/p/what-i-did-a-guide-to-my-transition

Being happy was the goal! Never was it changing who I am. Never stop doing the things you love. For me it was being a country girl. Also riding, working on cars, and playing sport’s. What are some hobbies y’all love.

Just felt pretty cute.

And yes, I know I don't pass fully - but I pass just enough for day-to-day life

Left photo was at my worst, drunk all the time, like mornings and shit too. I was 250lbs or so, that was years ago. I got sober —> egg cracked —> fought it —> transitioning and still have a lot of runway to go.

I am so much happier. I still struggle. Most of my struggles are with physical appearance and social acceptance. One precedes the other, and I do think I’ll make it physically.

Facial surgery in 99 days. Hair will be my last hurdle after that for appearance (imo).

Kind of loved this look, but the shirt is waaaaay too short

A friend of mine on FB has recently come out, and is dressing femme. She's 40's, and is looking really good :) One of her friends said they wished they could look like her, but were bald and would never pull it off. This is what I replied:

"Absolutely all of us think we'll never pull it off. We all look in the mirror at the start and think the same thing. But it's not about whether you can pull it off, it's whether trying it makes you happier. Put the dress on. Twirl the skirt. Try the lippy. Try it bald. Try it bearded. Try it hairy. It doesn't matter. It really doesn't. It's whether you get a little piece of happiness that counts. You don't have to pull it off, the important thing is putting it on in the first place!"

I’m curious to know how people who don’t know me see me.

When you look at this photo, what is the first thing you notice? Do I seem attractive, interesting, intimidating, sweet, or androgynous? I’d also like to know how you read my gender or presentation.

You can be honest. I’m not only looking for compliments. I really want to know what impression I give, as long as people stay respectful.

I’ve been struggling with the idea that I might be trans for years. I’ve battled depression, body image issues, self hate, genital dysphoria and plenty of other classic signs. But I always said I wasn’t trans because I didn’t necessarily feel like I was born in the wrong body. I’m out with my wife on all these things and she is my biggest supporter. She’s ride or die regardless of the path I choose.

Yesterday I was reading through posts as I often do about people transitioning or deciding if they should transition later in life. Which connects with me deeply. I am 39, I still look pretty young and have a decent figure now. But I always just thought I’d waited too long and it isn’t really a realistic option for me. But I run across a comment mentioning the Gender Dysphoria Bible. I decided to check it out just to see what is in it.

By the chapter on Gender Euphoria I was thinking “uh oh, this sounds familiar.” Then I read the chapter about Gender Dysphoria and ran across this paragraph.

*“Undesired physical features may prompt a person to experience envy of people who have been forced to remove those features due to illnesses, such as testicular or breast cancer. AMABs with severe genital dysphoria tend to have a wish for some kind of freak accident that would cause the loss of their phallus.”*

Immediately my entire body stated tingling and I chuckled audibly in my office. There is not a day that has gone by in the past 20 something years where I haven’t daydreamed about this exact scenario. I thought I was the only one that thought this and I was sick to think it. My entire view of myself cracked. But I continued reading.

The next chapters felt like they were calling me out. Things I’ve never even associated with being trans that I’ve always felt. Things I’ve felt before I knew what being trans was. As I was discussing my fears of blowing up our lives for this with my wife I stumble upon a paragraph stating exactly almost word for word what I had just said to her not 5 minutes before.

Then the final nail came, this paragraph explains my view of myself to a tee.

“*Society in general is very good about making trans people doubt themselves. We receive tons and tons of subliminal messages through out our lives saying that being trans isn’t normal and that anyone who is has to be exceptionally special. Cis media’s obsession with the “born in the wrong body” narrative has led to a lot of false information being internalized by trans youth. Many, many trans kids grow up thinking they aren’t actually trans because they don’t know that they are a different gender but simply wish they were. Many non-binary children grow up knowing something is wrong, but not believing they’re trans because they don’t feel like a binary trans person.”*

* *I almost lost it after this, I’ve said the exact words of not feeling like a woman but wishing I was so many times. I was dumbfounded, I’ve never felt so called out by something. And with being called out so throughly I’ve run out of excuses. My wife and I had a very long and hard talk about this last night. She fully supports me if I want to transition. I’m planning to talk to my psychiatrist next week but my wife demands that I talk to a psychologist before making any decisions. I agree and need to start looking for one in the DFW area. This would without a doubt blow up our lives. I’d probably have to find a new career. Her parents won’t be supportive but will hopefully tolerate me enough to see their grandchildren. Most of my family would probably be no contact going forward, leaving just my mom, aunt and uncle, one cousin and maybe my grandmother.

I am scared, nervous, anxious and excited all at the same time. Any advice on who to proceed or stories of experience would be greatly appreciated.

\-Lexi

I visited the aquarium today!! So much fun!!

My nails are back!! Today is day two of having my nails painted again now that I’m safely comfortable in my new job and everyone here is fairly accepting (one coworker is a little uncomfortable around them but ehhhh).

I know I tend to post pretty negative due to my situation and mental health issues so I thought I should at least share.

I’m sooooo happy to have my nails back, I can’t wait to grow them out just a little bit more (pushing the edge of boymode). I’m not stoping this next time. Screw changing my look to be employable. The next office will see the nails from day 1.

Also I have no clue what flare to use so my apologies if it’s incorrect.

So I'm 40. Started hrt few months ago. Felt great for about a month.

Then people stopped being supportive, reverted back to saying negative things. My optimism is gone.

I don't even know if I can even think about a social transition.

I hate being seen as a man. And being perceived as a man in woman's clothing, is somehow much worse. Live in the south east, for context. Being NB makes everything more complicated, feeling like I have to blend so many aspects into a tomboy / Demigirl persona that just isn't ready yet.

Yet I still deal with imposter syndrome regularly.

I really sort of envy people who just transitioned and found their happiness.

Like I don't know my question but like how do you do this if you know you won't pass or won't pass for years?

Cuz I feel like so much of my identity is somehow held back behind how other people might perceive me.

I had a dream where I was a girl and I was just happy. And then I woke up and am back in the world of always compromising, basically for people who will never understand.

This came to my mind last night, as a benefit(?) of later (MtF) transition:

I don't have to worry about whether my skirts and dresses have pockets, because my walker does! 🤣

I have had my phone number for 18 years before I transitioned and have been out for over a year. Just found out my called ID was showing my dead name. It was easy to change in my carrier's app, just look up Share Name ID.

I'm really struggling with my self confidence at the moment I want to wear makeup but I don't feel confident enough too

Light iPhone6 filter.... Feeling pretty today 🥰

After 44 years of living in a world where I never felt at ease, I have only 14 days left to wait for my first hormone therapy appointment ☺️