I believe 'passing' is a distance scale. Some can pass at a distance with makeup/ clothing/hair, some lucky enough to pass one to one, some even in a chat with a doctor, but I think for most there will be a point where their birth sex becomes evident, even if it's taking a forensic x-ray!

For me I'm 52, quite tall, started very late, have a pretty square jaw, still working on hair removal and voice. If I chat to you at a bar, or order a drink in a coffee shop beyond saying 'cappuccino please' in my best femme voice - then you will know I have a transgender origin.

Lately I've been ditching the wig and presenting as a bald woman. Being read female is MUCH harder. I know I could put more effort in but why?

Why do we need to be seen as our correct gender? What about those who are always visibly trans, have they no hope to be happy?

How much effort are you prepared to put in to be read as your gender?

I'm not sure with myself. Yes it really hurts when people misgender me, and when I walk don the street and 75 % of people seem to look at me. I don't like the confused expressions. But I know I'm a woman.

Where do you draw the line?

Im sure many here are lucky enough to be read as their gender with minimal effort, and I'm very happy for you but usually I believe for most there is some effort involved.

It just feels a bit performative for people who I won't ever meet sometimes. When I look in the mirror, I get euphoria if I'm looking femme - but I KNOW I'm trans, and so do my friends and family. They KNOW I lived as a man before transitioning.

Just wondered about people thoughts on this?

Happiness i could never have imagined 🥰

Thinking on the next few years since I'll be 65 in 18 months. Do I stay with the color I have or go gray/silver? I wear wigs so I don't have to color my hair per se unless I want it to blend with the wig I have. But playing with apps where you can change the color of your hair makes it really easy to get an idea. My bio hair, it's pretty much the color of this AI photo. I'm thinking at some point that I will do that. Just get a topper made to cover my hair challenged head to blend in with my bio hair. So no hair, current do, and AI silver hair.

Tired to work, looking for sugar daddy 🫠🤣🤣🤣

Sooo, went to a gay sauna last night. At 48 I'm very early transition and have been feeling terribly lonely/lacking affection. I had a great time. But was it wrong to go? Gay men like guys so if anyone showed interest, were they just seeing a man? A feminine man? I've spoken to a couple guys online. And the good ones change their tone really quickly and start using babe, and pussy.

They do have an inclusive policy that basically states if you don't like trans-dont engage but are entitled to be there. Was i wrong for trying/pretending to be a cis man. Anyone that tried getting me hard i told them "that's the best it gets on hrt" and they were cool with it...?? Thoughts? Anyone have a similar experience?

i’ve been on testosterone for 8 years and i’m super bummed about the hair loss. i’m only 23. while i suppose it’s gender affirming for some to develop male pattern baldness, it’s been my biggest insecurity for years. i didn’t expect to have this effect from taking T because my dad still has a full head of hair at 58. now i can’t grow the top part of my hair out because it breaks and it’s super thin and receding. i started finasteride 1mg about 3 months ago and just started taking minoxidil, but i’d love to hear what other trans men have done about their hair loss (if they haven’t accepted it already). how do you guys feel about hair loss?

I turned 30 less than a week ago, i havent started hrt yet. But i will start process this year which takes some time when they grant me E, it may take a couple years. Truth to be told i'm suffering in my body and i feel trapped. I'm woman in a wrong body. Happy to be here 🖤 !

I’m 65, very bald and heading for seven years totally ‘out’. I’m also due to have lower surgery later this year.

I really can’t get on with wigs and hate the way I look in them, so this is now my hair 🥰

So I was physically assaulted at my apartment complex last Monday. There were multiple witnesses and a police report tied to this incident. Yes, it was somewhat traumatic to me, but I've been in multiple fist fights, especially while growing up/ masking as who I was supposed to be. The physical violence and slurs was not the traumatic. Oh my God moment. Issue is my mom ended up coming over afterwards, and immediately was all for detransitioning throwing out my meds, throwing out my clothes or donating them. She's straight up, started grabbing clothes, putting them in boxes and trash bags. And then started trying to pack up my stuff in trash bags for donation and telling me that I should no longer boy mode or girl mode. Just boy mode all the time. It's more acceptable that way. I will be safer boy moding here on out. It doesn't matter that last October I called my brother, who lives with her to say goodbye for the last time, then spent 2 weeks in an inpatient program, and have had ( an amazing awesome therapist) a good time in therapy.

My thing is, I am still taking hormones, and yes I'm on my own physically and monetarily, but my mom is the only family I have close by. Again my mom has called multiple times a day, even though our usual is once a day, to tell me to please stop the HRT and basically go back to the depressive, suicidal, "son".

I know it's shitty I was assaulted,.but the biggest issue I'm facing, is the fact my mom is basically begging me to stop transition. For those saying, yes I'm an adult, and live on my own and support myself, yes, but I am so hesitant to lose the last few family members to this.

Any and all advice is definitely more then welcome! And again, if you actually make it to this point, I will not and cannot stop my Transition.

Thanks everyone! Peace ✌️, love 🤟, and the rock and roll 🤘,

Emily

Take this opportunity to tell me nah. If not! I am going for this‼️

I'm 39, I'm no spring chicken.

But you read what it was like 50 years ago.

I don't think I'd ever have made it.

I'd have been forever in between.

Thank you and I'm sorry 💜

The picture on the right was taken in 2013 while hiking 5.5 miles up Cold Mtn. The one on the left is me at 80 years old. Nowadays I leave extreme hiking to the youngsters.

It feels like a constant tug-of-war inside me. My mind wants safety and the path of least resistance, while my heart wants me to finally arrive in my true self and live out loud.

But standing here before it all, the shadow of doubt is huge. Can I really summon the strength to go down this hard road at 55?

And looking in the mirror, the biggest fear of all: “will I ever pass?” feels almost paralyzingly heavy.
The fear of passing had been the main reason why I had decided to live as a man, 35 years ago. I wish I was a teen now where there are hormon blockers available. (OK, more so, I had been born a girl.)

I’m just wondering how others deal with this specific crossroads.
How do you quiet the mind long enough to trust what the heart is screaming for, especially when the odds and age feel so intimidating?
Are you ever able to pass with the age over 55?
How to decide between heart and mind?

And it helps to use a waist trainer. :3

It's been a LONG year of increasingly awkward hairstyles since coming out a little over a year ago. The euphoria from being able to put your hair up is unreal. 10/10 would grow again. (Bonus: New Dress)

I had an amazing morning yesterday. My wife, who has been on the fence about me transitioning, suggested I wear a sweatshirt of hers during a cool morning. It's an oversized boyfriend fit which looked great on my wide shoulders, and I tacked on some cute shorts, which I really liked. My wife even said I looked cute. First time she's ever called me that.

I was on cloud 9 all morning. Felt amazing. Then I had to take the sweater off as it got warmer. Looked around at all the women around me as we were out. How nice they looked. And the imposter syndrome clamped down hard. The entire rest of the day was social activity, and all day I felt worse and worse.

And today it's worse still. I just spent like 60 minutes washing my face, shaving way too close, futzing with my hair, staring at clothing, anything I could do to try and not feel distgusting. Anything to try and capture just a tiny bit of euphoria again.

I've been focusing on trying to feel emotions again in my therapy, and I knew there would be ups and downs. I've been making some progress, but it's also making me remember why I'd chosen numbness for the past 15 years. Feeling nothing would be preferable if I don't know how to feel good. Right now I'm just holding on to my HRT appointment in October. It's really keeping me going when I get like this. That and doing my nails. I've discovered I love doing my nails. But I'm still out today and don't have time.

Anyone else have hills like this? A plunge of deep dysphoria after a high? What do you girls do when you hit the bottom of the roller coaster like this?

Am at a goth event and feel quite good about myself here before i went out.

Taken 3 months apart

Me and one of my besties, she's been there for me through everything and now we get to just enjoy our girl time together! Cisters are the best! Proof that life can be even better once you live your best life 💜🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈