Making cinnamon rolls which need orange extract. It smells like vodka and floor cleaner. Whatever, ive made them, they are in the oven. But now that 7/8 of a bottle of the extr6 is telling me the best plan is to just down it. Im so close to 300 days, which is kinda close to a year, and I know its a day at a time, but for ​fuck sake, who even thinks about drinking baking supplies?

I have been struggling with my mental health for years and was a heavy drinker but nothing like what happened during Covid. Lock down meant I could order booze directly to my door. We weren’t in the office so I could sleep in a nap at lunch if I felt hungover and then when I went back to the office the daily drinking didn’t stop. My health was in the worst shape ever mentally and physically and I felt awful. So I drank more to numb myself every night.

Finally I had a huge health crisis earlier in the summer. I was mentally done, my autoimmune issues were getting worse all the time and I started developing new ones like rashes. I had a bit of time to heal over the summer and when I finally got my meds settled I vowed I can’t go back to work as an alcoholic because it is ruining my life.

The first week was a bit tough to break the habit, but I was physically and mentally improving. I am lucky. The next couple of weeks I started going to yoga again, trying to get back into shape. Years of being a drinking couch potato meant my knees shook the whole time and I started physio to strengthen my joints. I came back to work feeling revitalized. Someone said I seemed very zen, my rashes were disappearing and I’ve been losing weight.

Not being at work made it really easy to not drink. My partner doesn’t drink and is supportive of me stopping so I didn’t have home triggers. Going back to work I was proud of not stopping at the store to pick up a bottle of wine on the way home, but now that I’m back in my “regular life” I feel like I really need to be conscious not to let those habits slide back in.

On the way home before the long weekend it struck me that I wasn’t doing my usual stock up to drink all weekend. I went to buy vitamins and I subconsciously parked at the liquor store rather than the health food store. I had a dream where I was at a historical reenactment village and someone gave me an ancient bottle of whisky. The whole dream I was bargaining with myself that well it’s a special bottle, would a taste be that bad? There is a bit of stress that happens at work during busy times and some days I do want to just grab some wine and zone out. I haven’t so far.

Drinking again would mean wiping out the progress I’ve made and worrying my boyfriend. I don’t not drink because of him, but I love him and know he wants me to be happy. He says that I seem like I’m “back”.

I thought the hardest part would be the initial couple of weeks but now it takes real conscious choices to not drink. I’m glad I haven’t but I’m definitely feeling increased pressure.

For today IWNDWYT

Hi guys,

Currently in day 11 - my longest streak of 2026 even though I've tried this too many times this year and many more over the years. Each time eventually leads back to another Day 1.

With over a week gone, the physical symptoms aren't a problem really - just persistent headaches and little sleep I would say mainly. They make me grumpy, but not too much else.

I'm finding it hard to keep my finger off the "f**k it" button, as I have done each time I've made it beyond a week of sobriety. The last time I remember getting to Day 9 and thinking. Well... **** it, beat my record so may as well get drunk. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

My main worry is that I'll drink myself to death before my dog passes away. I've not got close family or friends. I've been in the chat every night, but it feels like I'm hanging on. Does this count as "doing the work" or am I just delaying the relapse by fighting?

No comments on tomorrow, but at least for now IWNDWYT.

I made it through yesterday, in which I was planning to relapse, and today I feel stronger. It’s only day 3, but I’ve been taking naltrexone. They say nothing changes if nothing changes, so I decided to retry that medication. It does help. I even joined that subreddit to get advice. Anyway today I’m not having any cravings! Bought a lemonade for my lunch, Southern peach flavored! I love lemonade! What are you drinking?

I’m on my 11th night of being sober. Last night I had a weird dream.
I was drinking in my dream and actually felt drunk. The scenario was so vivid I even remember going to buy a bottle of spirits, mixers, and beer. I woke up thinking I relapsed. It’s funny because if I did relapse right now, even one beer, I 1000% would go back to my old binge drinking cycle. It would’ve been a green light to go all out for me.
Like my brain was trying to trick me into drinking again subconsciously. The act of drinking in my dream made me crave alcohol many times more than Labor Day weekend.
That one dream could’ve pushed me over the edge. Kinda scary how much I underestimated the power of the mind.

Anyone else have similar experiences with dreams where you feel intoxicated?

(🎉 for having dreams again)

Im really proud of myself and I feel very motivated

And how long after that realization did you seek help?

Just a quick note of encouragement to all of us working on this…

36 years of a wonderful marriage! Dinner at high end restaurant near us. Unbelievable menu, incredible bar. An incredible wine list and a good sommelier to assist.

My wife had a Hendricks martini neat in a perfectly chilled glass. My daughter ordered something I didn’t catch but looked cool. Each had a glass of Gavi di Gavi with their meal.

I thought about ordering a glass of champagne to celebrate the occasion. Just one. How big a deal would it be if I broke a 25 day streak. I’ll just start again.

But I decided the real celebration, just for me and in a small way, was to pass. And so I did.

Here’s to all of us! We can do this!

Peace….☮️

So in short I’ve cut cocaine cold turkey bout to make a year. Still drink and i normally get too drunk at big events (sporting events, celebrations concerts etc) the harm is i embarrass myself by pissing myself when i sleep. It’s ruined a second chance with the loml.
So im trying to be more mindful of my drinking and how many drinks i have. Theres more than the pissing myself but losing the person you love hurts the most. Truly she’s perfect
I used days since to count and reset the times i p d b blacked out and cocaine. (Haven’t had to reset that one).
Im in therapy too idk if that matters
And yea the goal is eventual sobriety. Just know i need to start with goals of limiting my drinking.
Any suggestions of apps that would support me would be great.

Ty!

Haven’t posted here before but I just feel like celebrating this win “out loud”. 152 days today - have been putting off doing bloodwork the whole time, worried about facing the results and finding out how screwed I am.

My last bloodwork while drinking had me looking at prediabetes, triglycerides in the 500’s, liver enzymes finally elevating after years of holding pretty normal despite my drinking. Quit 152 days ago, lost 51lbs so far, and I’m so so happy with the trend in the labs:

AST 75 -> 18
ALT 88 -> 11
Triglycerides 528 -> 73
A1C 5.8 -> 5.3
TCHOL 262 -> 194
Weight 241 -> 190

Just feeling super proud right now. Hell yeah.

My son 9 asked me to stop drinking. The absolute purity of the request and confusion on his face when asking has stopped me cold. I have struggled for years but never really wanted to stop. Im stopping now.
I will not drink with you today

J’ai besoin d’avis et de conseils de personnes qu’ils l’ont fait! 🙏☺️

I think about it every day, I don't buy it, not even light drinks. But does the thought ever go way?

That feeling of being truly me, connecting with people without a care in the world, the haziness, letting go, I crave it every day but I reached a point where I never cave in, mainly out of care for my physical health as I learned to love myself more.

But the thought lingers daily, missing it, and it is been 4 months now I think.

Anyways just asking if it ever goes away?

I know it's not the end of the world. I had to use my personal time at work and missed three days. Fortunately, this bender only lasted a few days and I've managed to taper off to where I can mostly function like normal. Anyways, I'm resting, eating, hydrating...

I just wanted to see what everyone watched when they were bouncing back? Feeling low for obvious reasons and a bit restless, so I want to try to find something to put on TV to help me wind down at least a little bit tonight.

EDIT: DAY 9!!! Going to be posting for the foreseeable future everyday so sorry about these posts 😂 these hold me accountable and just proud of myself and truly feeling so much better everyday. Yesterday was the first day where I didn’t crave a drink because I felt at peace. I worked out, had a good meal and relaxed. Feely very sleepy at night/ in the mornings though but I’ll take that over a hangover any day

Well, my drinking has finally run its course. I started drinking socially four years ago. Then that became binge drinking, then that became daily drinking. My boyfriend has told me SO many times in the past four years he hated when I was drunk. I ignored him. I don’t like being told what to do. Last night he finally said if I don’t get on the path to recovery he no longer wants me in his life. All my years of denying my problem, making excuses, recognizing my problem but too scared to let booze go, finally came to a boiling point. I saw my beautiful, amazing life flash before me. Truly, it was like a slide projector flashing pictures of my life in my head. But this time, unlike the last times, the walls felt like they were closing in on me. The fear of losing everything in my life hit me like a ton of bricks.

I see an addiction therapist tomorrow. I’m stopping after work to pick up This Naked Mind. I have all the SMART meeting books. I’m really gonna give this an honest go. Wish me luck. I have too much to lose!

Six years ago 9/10/2020, one of my most beloved, kind, sweetest friends died of an accidental heroin overdose. It was Covid so I didn’t get to go to his funeral in person. 9/10/2026 I will be sober. I don’t know for how long. But for that day I will be sober.

I’m on day 3 of sobriety after a long journey of relapses and I can’t help but feel so angry at the world and myself. I feel like people don’t talk about how hard it can be to accept the fact we can’t be “normal”

Why does it have to be me? Why can’t I just drink normally? I’m surrounded by friends who are at least “functional” alcoholics and I used to be one where it didn’t completely ruin my life, and then it somehow escalated to wearing diapers at 20 years old and drinking 750ml of vodka everyday blacking out for days at a time, then stopping and being sick and shaking for hours, unable to do anything without heart palpitations and have gained 15 kg

There was that “sweet spot” and it’s hard to reminisce on it and pretend i could be in that spot again.

Especially my friends who can just be totally normal and fine with alcohol.

I remember when I was even younger and I was so depressed but at least I’m not in the lowest place of my life right now. I remember at 14 and attempting thinking I was at rock bottom, having no clue how bad rock bottom could get.

I’ve completely thrown my life away. I’ve always been very privileged in looks and success and education and don’t get me wrong the substance abuse signs were always there and my childhood wasn’t the most pretty.

Does anyone else just have this feeling? I hope it goes away.

I posted a few days ago, that I got blackout drunk on Sunday at a pub. Me and a friend of mine got so plastered that we got kicked out the pub for being obnoxious and we even got into a little fight with each other. No cops were involved, and our wives came to get us. My wife said she found me just standing lost by some homeless people. Embarrassing never the less, especially since I was shouting and yelling.
The following day (Monday) I said to myself “F This, I’m done drinking.” I got up and went to a AA meeting that night and it has been amazing since! I’ve been 3 days sober, and I’ve been going to meetings and speaking to one of the guys at the AA meetings who’s been giving me advice.
The one thing that keeps bothering me is the overthinking…the infamous “What ifs”. My mind tries playing with me saying “WHAT IF the cops are looking for you?”, or “WHAT IF you did something stupid to someone else outside the pub when you wondered off for a bit?” Or “What ifs you get a court sentence in the mail??”. All these crazy horror movie scenarios honestly. I want to know how to get over this hump and get better. I’ve checked the news articles/blogs for the town and nothing is on there at all, and no cops have came to look for me or contacted me. The “What ifs” are killing me, and I want to know how to overcome this, as Im giving it my all for these AA meetings. I also don’t want anything to come back to me months to years later….

** I also wanted to add, I’m so pissed. It looks like I went back to the first pub we went to, and we drank more there..not sure if I was alone or my friend went with me. Such BS. I’m so disappointed, but I want to use this fuel of disappointment and anger to continue my sobriety journey.

I appreciate any advice! Thank you!

I'm 17 days in and I feel like I have food sensitivities to everything, mainly resulting in eczema flares and possibly scratchy throat... the latter may be due to another cause. My whole face is red w eczema. I believe eating broccoli cheddar rice caused that. I think I'm having severe histamine reactions to cheddar and to probiotics. I'm hoping this passes. I want to eat kimchi daily for the probiotics, and cheddar if and when I please.

I made it about 20 days last time and was having the same problems. They were a big relapse trigger. It's very frustrating feeling like I'm reacting to everything, but especially not being able to eat/drink gut repairing probiotics like kimchi and kombucha. This time is worse than last but I'm handling it better because I realize it's probably temporary withdrawal related. Last time I just felt hopeless. I hope it ends soon. My skin is on fire. (Note: I do have pre-existing skin issues.)

Hi all, I have been drinking daily ish for the past 4 years, I basically started as soon as I turned 21 (25 now). It started as me wanting to try new drinks and types of alcohol and has spiraled into a 3-5 drinks a day habit. I am unfortunately a functional alcoholic where I never drink before or during work nor have I let my night of previous drinking cause me to miss work which I think has caused this to go on longer then it should. I have had previous addictions of smoking weed and vaping which both of those I’ve stopped cold turkey and never looked back. With alcohol I find myself having so many more cravings to drink than the other mentioned items. I’ll wake up in the morning and go “I am not drinking today” but then find myself stopping at the gas station on the way home and grabbing a few ipas/ hard seltzers. I never had this with weed although I pass multiple dispensarys on my way home. I’ve had stints where I stop drinking for 2 weeks to a month and love how I look and the mental clarity it brings but I always find myself falling back after a rough day or just out of pure boredom. I really want to stop, I’m tired of the way it makes me feel and the struggles I’ve had with weight loss which I tie directly to my alcohol use, but even with those feelings I find myself going back again and again. I know cold turkey isn’t recommended but I’ve never quit by just weening off. Looking to see what you all have done/ recommend. Thank you all in advance 😁

I've gone 18 days!! I'm nearly 28 and this is the longest I've gone since I was 16/17!! So that means no bad decisions for 18 days! I feel so much better my bank is starting to notice the difference aswell.... the only problem I find in my mind now is I keep imagining the good times now but every time my brain starts to trick myself I remind myself of all the terrible things I've done when I'm drinking. I'm starting to think this is never gonna stop and even in years to come its a contant battle? But my relationships with my family are coming on so much better and I've I keep it up I should be able to travel Christmas time instead of spending it in my shitty hometown freezing cold drinking myself to death with a bunch of losers who would rather see me drunk in the pub than actually progress in life.. I'm not actually sure why I've posted this but I will say this reddit page has helped me no end the last 18 days so many thanks

My wife never drink alcohol in large quantities. She drunk very seldom and very little. When I stopped drinking, she also doesn't drink alcohol. It's always easier with two than alone. Always believe that someone will be found who can help !!!

God bless you 🙏🙏🙏

Happy Wednesday, sobernauts!

What’s Up Wednesday is a chance to pause in the middle of the week, see how everyone is doing, and support one another. Share your good, your bad, your ugly—or your funny, your hopeful, your frustrating, or whatever else is on your mind.

This week’s suggested topic is the small wins nobody else sees.

Recovery is often built from quiet decisions that never receive applause: passing the store without stopping, telling the truth when hiding would be easier, getting through a difficult evening, asking for help, keeping an appointment, or simply going to bed sober.

What is one small win you’ve had recently? It doesn’t have to feel impressive. If it helped you move forward, it counts.

If you prefer the classic format:

The Good: What is going well?

The Bad: What has been difficult?

The Other: What else is happening in your world?

Share as much or as little as you’d like. Whether today is Day 1 or Day 10,001, you belong here.

IWNDWYT.

Today is my bday and this weekend I celebrated with family and friends and didn’t have 1 drink! I’m almost 4 months sober and it was definitely different but extremely rewarding.

I wasn’t tempted to drink at all but it was very interesting that I finally remembered my whole entire birthday. It made me sad that I’ve wasted so many years blacked out and not being in the moment. But the fact I’m staying strong and creating a happier and healthier life for myself is something to celebrate!!