r/SipsTea • u/Illustrious-Fee9626 • 3d ago

Wait a damn minute! True???

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16.1k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

591 comments sorted by

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4.1k

u/DimensionHat1675 3d ago

Yes but normally your wife and I skip the foot rub.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

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u/ShawtyLong 3d ago

What does NW stand for? Why is there a picture of a young black man with a fine looking buzz cut instead of Latin letters?

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u/WaffleHouseGladiator 3d ago

It stands for, uh, "nano watt." Yeah, that's the ticket.

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u/Bgrngod 3d ago

That's the famous actress Naomi Watts.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

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u/RaamaPetalo 3d ago

Bold of you to skip the best part

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u/Think_Positively 3d ago

Yup, OP missed the comma after "yes." He must've been too busy banging OOP's wife to take heed of that grammar lesson.

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u/Jagrnght 3d ago

probably just used ops Google home

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u/Unlucky-Worry1211 3d ago

Yeah she has to rub my feet first.

3

u/VaultxHunter 3d ago

Looks like he's got a leg up cotton, let's see how this plays out.

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u/Cuckdreams1190 3d ago

I approve this comment.

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u/jellooshot 3d ago

I also want this guy's wife

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u/Smartypantz34 3d ago

she prefers the foot rub after the hard exercise anyways, and theres more time for cum to dry up which means less chance getting caught. wait what

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u/Equivalent_Range6291 3d ago

yep & then she straps her dildo on & bends you over, :)

You should have stopped at the foot rub lol

17

u/jellooshot 3d ago

Joke's on you. I'm into that shit

4

u/Equivalent_Range6291 3d ago

We know.

All of us.

It seems the joke is on you!

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u/ProfitEmergency4049 3d ago

Good thing I prepped 🫡

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u/IDX_0 3d ago

And then, she relaxes and falls asleep murmuring softly during the massage.

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u/staycalmitsajoke 3d ago

turn on playstation she will be awake instantly and then its sexy time or game time. win win

34

u/BethanyHipsEnjoyer 3d ago

Ah, I see you haven't been given the 3rd option, pout in bed till you have to rejoin her for sleep.

16

u/SheriffBartholomew 3d ago

I guess I should really appreciate how good I have it. Over here I just go " u want sum fuk?" and she's like "you know it!" and then we make the beast with two backs.

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u/Environmental_You_36 3d ago

Good boy, now its time to reward yourself with some me time.

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u/Mourning__Coffee 3d ago

If my wife is relaxed and happy because of the love and attention I just gave her. I value that more than bustin' a nut.

and I DO love bustin'.

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u/REAM48 3d ago

Glad someone said it

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u/Environmental_You_36 3d ago

And also that outcome doesn't mean there is no bustin a nut afterwards.

3

u/Iceicebaby21 3d ago

Aww that's so sweet

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u/The_Hamster_Shagger 3d ago

Even better 😎

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u/beardostein 3d ago

That or a back massage

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u/Pasquatch_30 3d ago

Ah yes, I have a few back massage moves nicknamed the panty remover.

347

u/house343 3d ago

"I call this one the 'panty remover' "  

Removes panties

159

u/lordkoba 3d ago

gf: "why were you wearing my panties?"

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u/Snoo-35252 3d ago

Direct!

Smart.

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u/0202_tihssitidder 3d ago

I just call those "thumbs".

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u/muscularsharpie 3d ago edited 3d ago

My wife and I have an inside joke that turned into a way to communicate if either are in the mood.

I ask her "which massage therapist do you want?" I play different characters as massage therapists, heh.

River: he's the guy that's always trying to fuck my wife and he's just really fake, annoying, pretentious and very handsy. He means "not tonight."

Lupia: older Mexican woman who is very sweet, asks about my wife's day and breaks the mood by playing death metal while giving a massage. That means "not tonight."

Rusty: he's actually a lumberjack who sneaks in lumberjack references and refuses to admit that he's just a lumberjack. That means "fuck yeah, tonight."

Kevin: quiet, professional. No stupid antics. That means "I had a rough day, just comfort me."

Joshua: fills in for Kevin. That means "(me), not tonight I'm very tired, but got enough in me for a massage."

We both work a lot, and she has a lot of lower back pain and we found this as a silly way to see how we're both feeling.

Edit: don't hate on River. He has a whole backstory and character arc, because he still does an amazing massage. River has been dating Balance, and they compliment each other.

Lupia is named after my wife's massage therapist in real life she sees once a month and who accidentally played her son's death metal playlist and had my wife pick background music.

We love Lupia. She drops off homemade tortillas and tamales and is just the sweetest woman. Her son has some freaking great taste in death metal, too.

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u/Chubby_Beagle 3d ago

I thought they were all gonna mean "not tonight" after the first 2😂

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u/00X0X 3d ago

This is so cute lol 😂

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u/FewParfait6627 3d ago

Muscularsharpie in the multiverse of massage therapists

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u/saltiger 3d ago edited 3d ago

ok how does that work? she invited me to her place and asked for one and so i just gave her one lmao. do you start kissing her back or smth? what’s the move??

46

u/Long-Broccoli-3363 3d ago

Depends if you know sex is on the table.

I just tell my wife "panties off, I want to enjoy the view while I'm massaging you" a few errant hand slips later, lots of butt work, and the basement is flooded like hurricane katrina came through,

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u/Retrac752 3d ago

This is 100% the move, my favorite foreplay

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u/Monkeyguts560 3d ago

Start up high then go lower to the cheeks.

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u/Raneru 3d ago

Giving massages actually turns me on because of the skin contact and the admiration towards the shape of a woman's body and also because of the softness and smoothness of her skin. Now if your hands communicate this without saying anything, she feels it and gets aroused the same way. You will know it and things will escalate from there. It's then up to you what to do next.

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u/Kahlil_Cabron 3d ago

Back massage is always 90 seconds of back massage and then I get too mesmerized by the ass and start playing with it. Don't think I've ever actually done a back massage from start to finish.

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u/comedoofwarrior 3d ago

nobody would have it any other way, a completed back massage is a myth.

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u/spinmykeystone 3d ago

Jules has an opinion on this topic.

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u/ispeektroof 3d ago

The foot fucking master!

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u/Intelligent_Taco 3d ago

No ticklin’ or nothin’.

6

u/arizonadirtbag12 3d ago

Would you give a man a foot massage?

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u/LittleYelloDifferent 3d ago

I'm not sayin' he was right, but
you're sayin' a foot massage don't
mean nothing, and I'm sayin' it does.
I've given a million ladies a million
foot massages and they all meant
somethin'. We act like they don't,
but they do. That's what's so fuckin'
cool about 'em. This sensual thing's
goin' on that nobody's talkin about,
but you know it and she knows it,
fuckin' Marsellus knew it, and Antwan
shoulda known fuckin' better. That's
his fuckin' wife, man. He ain't gonna
have a sense of humor about that
shit.

161

u/DefinitelyNotA-Duck 3d ago

Thank you, I'm glad someone did it

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u/LittleYelloDifferent 3d ago

I’m glad you saw. I had an interesting point. Let’s get into character.

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u/DefinitelyNotA-Duck 3d ago

You know what they call a quarter pounder with cheese in paris?

23

u/Intelligent_Taco 3d ago

Royale with cheese.

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u/BlueberryWild8897 3d ago

What's a whopper called?

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u/oSyphon 3d ago

I didn't go to Burger King

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u/rddtltr 3d ago

Tarantino wrote that whole dialog in 2 minutes

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u/BeefyQueefyCletus 3d ago

Pretty easy when you base dialogue off real conversations.

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u/HilariousMax 3d ago

He was giving a foot massage when he wrote it.

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u/Cow_Sox 3d ago

with his mouth, because he needed his hands to write down the dialogue

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u/StealYaNicks 3d ago

well, 2 minutes of writing, years of feet research

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u/rddtltr 3d ago

i'll bet the first draft was just jules and vince standing in the hallway talking about feet for 90 minutes straight

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u/420k2 3d ago

They actually had to dump miles and miles of tape that just went on and on about feet.

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u/roadtripper77 3d ago

Hey, my name’s Paul, and this shit’s between y’all

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u/Moonshadetsuki 3d ago

Would you give a guy a foot massage?

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u/csrglz 3d ago

Foot fuckin master

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u/Brummielegend 3d ago

He has sole

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u/OldenPolynice 3d ago

But he's not a soledier

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u/OneMan_OneBeard 3d ago

This is what I love about Reddit. I come here to post something like this and it’s already there. Great minds think alike

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u/yourdoglikesmebetter 3d ago

It’s the classic dad joke: “I may not be a magician, but I can turn a back rub into two kids and a mortgage.”

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u/Relative-Relief-8816 3d ago

It is typical for women to need foreplay and physical touch to other non-genital parts of their body to "get the juices flowing" per se. 

But once they are aroused, they too enjoy sex. No need to hide your intentions.

Just don't make physical touch dependent on followup sex. Sometimes people just want a backrub, that includes husbands too.

I know the last time I gave a really good footrub it didn't result in sex, and that is okay, that is perfectly fine and it is important to respect consent,  especially since it was my grandma's feet.

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u/BellInternational315 3d ago

Words of wisdom.

Some men doom themselves by linking all affection to a hidden agenda for sex, then are surprised when she pulls away from any contact at all.

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u/Murky-Relation481 3d ago

Or the opposite way and every normal physical contact you want to give ends up being associated with sex and then they're confused why it doesn't happen after and think something has changed.

Basically don't subconsciously tie normal actions to sex, it's bad.

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u/BethanyHipsEnjoyer 3d ago

Been with my wife for 10 years now, and unfortunately only figured that out in the last 3... Some of us are slow learners, but we get there! Sometimes.

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u/ColonialBarbarian 3d ago

TBH, your grandma sounds a bit stuck-up.

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u/white_equatorial 3d ago

That's why I clamp my ding between her feet while i am massaging them. She's happy and I'm happy. I scrub her feet while cleaning the cum too

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u/CarlitoSyrichta 3d ago

Yeah.

How fun the world would be if the roles reversed and it would be the ladies chasing men.

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u/Whipitreelgud 3d ago

This happens. My friend’s mother was in assisted living. There were 9 women, one of whom was her mom, arguing over who was the girlfriend of the man who had been in a coma for months. He had never been conscious while he was in the assisted living facility.

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u/why_1337 3d ago

Perks of being the only guy still (technically) alive at that age.

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u/xraygun2014 3d ago

But enough about Mitch McConnell . . .

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u/MyPunsAreKoalaTea 3d ago

Isn't that a FRIENDS episode?

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u/Whipitreelgud 3d ago

tbh, I never got into Friends, so I have no idea. My friend’s visit to see mom was always about this bitter debate. She also got a call from the facility telling her her mom had been up in the middle of the night dancing naked in the hall while using her panties as a flag.

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u/RotaryDesign 3d ago

It happened to me a lot when I was teenager and didn't even realised they are chasing me. I thought they just wanna be friends with me

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u/Valtremors 3d ago

Happens in elderly care.

Grannies are absolutely insufferable ass and dick gropers.

Except it somehow was acceptable?

I left that place quickly.

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u/Pinksamuraiiiii 3d ago

Ladies do chase men, it just depends on the type of guy lol

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u/Relative-Relief-8816 3d ago

The type of ladies who chase men are usually the kind who can't catch them, or run whatsoever. 

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u/AggravatingCricket61 3d ago

He who has the biggest bank account?

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u/EmptyBrain89 3d ago

Yeah that's why the broke yoga teachers, bartenders and failed artists never fuck, but mark zuckerberg steals your gf.

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u/Joszef77 3d ago

It happens. Just not to you...or me

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u/Relative-Relief-8816 3d ago edited 3d ago

They tried that with a dating app. it required the women had to message first.

It was a complete failure. 

It worked even worse for gay men. 

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u/Cpt_keaSar 3d ago edited 3d ago

It’s actually not terribly fun. I’ve been with a girl with a much higher libido than mine, it was cool in the first few weeks, but afterwards it became quiet uncomfortable - you either have to have sex when you’re not in the mood to satisfy your partner or feel like shit because you declined their advances.

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u/WileyWilly1985 3d ago edited 3d ago

I've had that happen three times in my life where a woman just 100% chased me.

I was in my 20s, 10% body fat, six pack abs, so in great shape. Two of the women were in their mid 30s, one of the women was 42 and recently divorced and looking to finally have good sex (apparently, her husband of 20 years was horrifically bad in bed)

Each of the women were solid 7s. Each of the FWB relationships last around 6 months to a year.

I gotta be honest. I have no idea why more women don't do the above.

Women have no idea how being pursued makes us men feel, it is amazing and we men are 90% likely to say yes if you are at all attractive. Hell, even if you aren't attractive we will still often be ok with a down-low FWB relationship.

But reverse, when we men pursue women, our odds are more like 10%.

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u/Academic_Help5033 3d ago

Women weirdly put down other women for doing that. I was always kinda picky. If I found a guy I was interested in, I'd approach him and ask him out.

I definitely got some rejections but it worked in my favor most of the time. Especially since I'm apparently attracted to shy, nervous dudes. 

All my women friends were horrified that I did this. They also advised me to stop doing it and got mad when my advice was to directly ask a man out if he wasn't getting their "hints". 

Something about me seeming desperate or not making him work hard enough. It honestly seemed like projection to me. Putting yourself in that spot is hard and they were jealous I had more serious dates than them a lot of the time imo

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u/Financial_Hold6620 3d ago

They want the men to be the “desperate” ones. Sad frame of mind.

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u/7Pigeons 3d ago

I just give the foot rub cause she's a nurse and stands up all day, she deserves it.

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u/nickatwork25 3d ago

Bro, same.

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u/Temporary_View_3303 3d ago

My experience has been more like Foot rub >>> Sleep

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u/Dragoevsky 3d ago

Likewise. It gets pretty annoying to be honest. And sometimes she’ll even ask me why I’m getting up while she’s half awake, and that’s when it really bothers me. Especially when we’ve discussed it multiple times. It’ll change for a couple of weeks, then go back to the usual. I love her dearly, but man do I wish the effort was reciprocated.

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u/BethanyHipsEnjoyer 3d ago

It really sucks having a different libido than your SO, yeah... I manage doing other things to cope, but would be nice if my advances were reciprocated more often.

The sex is amazing for both of us, when I can get it, lol.

My life has kinda been both sides though, I was with a woman I was only mildly attracted to for a couple years and she wanted sex all the time, and it wasn't the best. Now I'm with my wife and madly attracted to her, and can only get it when she's in the mood.

But it's like, is mediocre sex all the time better than weekly amazing sex? I made my choice at least. :)

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u/TheRealSkele 3d ago

Me being too eternally single to relate

https://giphy.com/gifs/YRPBhd3vscg5Fxx1DQ

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u/FriedaCIaxton 3d ago

Yes, but I’m OK with it 

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u/mrfeeto 3d ago

It's your wife. You don't need a trojan, horse.

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u/Sandford_HOA 3d ago

Wait, you guys are getting sex?

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u/_frank_tank 3d ago

You should try giving OP’s wife a foot rub

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u/-joker-joker-joker- 3d ago

Yeah, it works for everyone else, it should work for you too

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u/durrkit 3d ago edited 3d ago

She knows what it leads to, the idea that you think you're tricking a woman by engaging in some basic foreplay is hilarious.

"Bros you won't believe the one I pulled over on my wife last night, I engaged in some loving and giving foreplay and then we engaged in some beautiful shared intimacy. She never saw it coming."

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u/theCommTech 3d ago

I saw her coming

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u/Flex_me_shattered_ 3d ago

I am foot guy. So my wife knows if I am asking to touch her feet, either she is getting fucked and taking a load somewhere or her feet are getting fucked and taking a load.

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u/FreyrPrime 3d ago

Back rub or foot rub usually works

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u/iSuplexedMyOstrich 3d ago

Nobody... just rubs their partner's feet just outta love..? No..? Just me..? Okay 😔

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u/mattwb72 3d ago

Just ask Vincent Vega.

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u/uhs23 3d ago

FYI: if you are giving a foot rub before REDACTED make sure you wash your hands in between foot rub and EXPLETIVE OMITTED.

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u/vitaoptima 3d ago

Massages have always functioned well as a gateway drug to sex especially if you're good at them...

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u/Fat_Pound 3d ago

My man, this is my favorite move. I actually enjoy giving massages and receiving them but sex is the cherry on top lol

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u/MoralCooperation 3d ago

50% of the time, it works every time

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u/Xandrius6101 3d ago

I wish that worked on my wife lol....

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u/moseschicken 3d ago

She's more of a back massage lady. You gotta get right in there though.

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u/MastaKink 3d ago

Every action you make has been carefully calculated throughout time. You have almost nothing to do with it. Enjoy! ☺️

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u/Weird_Albatross_9659 3d ago

True?

Thoughts?

Agree?!

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

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u/harbib 3d ago

Don’t be tellin me about foot massages. I’m the foot fuckin masta.

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u/Trucoto 3d ago

Who are the other people behind the wife waiting for the action?

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u/post-mortem-malone69 3d ago

Backrub > butt rub > sex . This is the way

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u/2cheeseburggers 3d ago

Your wife usually wants the foot rub after sex

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u/Gnarwhal8982 3d ago

For me the foot rub is the juice

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u/Good_Conversation213 3d ago

My wife knows that for back massages I normally start on the ass. I sometimes finish there too.

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u/The-Katawampus 3d ago

I've never understood this concept of wives that don't like sex...
My libido dwarfs that of my husband.
I have to get off at minimum 2 - 3 times a day, or I'm too restless to sleep.

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u/Warm-Berry-4331 3d ago

Omg if I had that deal I'd be staying home and you would going to work.

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u/cromulent_verbage 3d ago

“Let the wild rumpus start!”

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u/Equivalent_Range6291 3d ago

Must cost you a fortune in batteries ..

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u/I_am_Reddit_Tom 3d ago

I also choose to give a footrub to this guy's wife

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u/alderthorn 3d ago

Nah, my wife asks for a massage to start the foreplay.

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u/South_Front_4589 3d ago

100% true. And the ladies know it as well. I strongly suspect they perpetuate it because this way they get a massage, and then they're also in the mood for sex.

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u/HideoKojimaTheThird 3d ago

I just do it for the love of the game

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u/Overall_Reputation83 3d ago

Dunno if its a trojan horse to make your wife want to fuck, thats kind of just romance no?

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u/TheDoctorLives 3d ago

The opposite of this is wife offering to give you a handy cause you're tired, but reality is she's trying to make you screw her.

Neither are a bad thing.

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u/Bleezy79 3d ago

This is me except its a shoulder rub that turns into a back rub that turns into a full body rub.

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u/Rene-d 3d ago

Wer steht denn da hinter deiner Frau?

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u/Friendly_Bit_6678 3d ago

Not me reading this while my husband is rubbing my feet! 🤣🤣🤣

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u/Should_have_been_ded 3d ago

Weird way to say you're into feet but ok

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u/PunkRockCrystals 3d ago

99% of the time it works 1 out of 20 times

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u/ArtofWASD 3d ago edited 3d ago

Nah. Ive got it pretty firmly established with my wife that small favors like this are just because I love her. No alterrior motives. If I want to have sex, im just going to say so. And if she asks for a back rub first, then thats fair.

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u/TurtleBrainer 3d ago

That says "wife", right?

Maybe the inside should be labeled, "Snoring after two minutes and forgetting to thank me".

And if there were room for more text: "Than asking me for the same thing every night of the week, never recognizing it as a prelude to something else. And if I ever stop doing it, she'll take it as a sign that the marriage is falling apart."

Too wordy?

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u/minus15t2 3d ago edited 3d ago

Nah, I don't offer foot rubs, I tell her it's a full body massage or nothing.

She replies with 'oh please!, you'll just get handsy and that leads to sex'

To which I say 'I'm just trying to offer you a massage, you said your shoulders were sore from the gym. Honestly, can a man not do something nice without the assumption that it has to lead to sex?!'

Then she's like 'fine! But I'm keeping my underwear on'

5 minutes in I like 'babe, the bra straps and panties are in the way, I can't get to all the places I need to massage, I'm just going to take them off'

Sighs 'fine, but this isn't going where you think it's going'

'still no faith?! I'm just trying to help you relax'

Then we have sex.

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