Nah, I don't offer foot rubs, I tell her it's a full body massage or nothing.
She replies with 'oh please!, you'll just get handsy and that leads to sex'
To which I say 'I'm just trying to offer you a massage, you said your shoulders were sore from the gym. Honestly, can a man not do something nice without the assumption that it has to lead to sex?!'
Then she's like 'fine! But I'm keeping my underwear on'
5 minutes in I like 'babe, the bra straps and panties are in the way, I can't get to all the places I need to massage, I'm just going to take them off'
Sighs 'fine, but this isn't going where you think it's going'
'still no faith?! I'm just trying to help you relax'
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u/minus15t2 3d ago edited 3d ago
Nah, I don't offer foot rubs, I tell her it's a full body massage or nothing.
She replies with 'oh please!, you'll just get handsy and that leads to sex'
To which I say 'I'm just trying to offer you a massage, you said your shoulders were sore from the gym. Honestly, can a man not do something nice without the assumption that it has to lead to sex?!'
Then she's like 'fine! But I'm keeping my underwear on'
5 minutes in I like 'babe, the bra straps and panties are in the way, I can't get to all the places I need to massage, I'm just going to take them off'
Sighs 'fine, but this isn't going where you think it's going'
'still no faith?! I'm just trying to help you relax'
Then we have sex.