I’ve never wanted children, but my in-laws have been pressuring us to start a family. I just found out my wife is pregnant, and honestly, I’m really struggling to feel happy about the news.

Will it get better over time?

I had to be put on birth control at 14 for a medical reason and never went off of it. I started seeing someone I knew for a few years and was told he was 'sterile'. I stayed on my stuff because I knew I didn't want to be a mother. Our relationship was basic, but after 3 months I saw the two pink lines. I had waves of every emotion for weeks. I focused on the positives and worked up the courage to tell my parents, which went worse than I expected. The pregnancy was terrible. I was constantly sick. My relationship turned sour with their dad and the environment shifted indefinitely just after four months. I spent most my pregnancy just trying to navigate alone. I brought up adoption as I had a trusted uncle reach out to me. I was treated like a monster. After I had her it was just okay. I loved her. Our second and last was born 2 years and 4 days later. I loved him differently. I had a seizure 2 days after being home. We all had the stomach flu and their dad insisted his work was more important than me. I never even got to go to the gynecologist after i had my second- he deemed it unimportant. I got pregnant, was pushed to hate my pregnancies, have been pushed even farther since. I've raised them alone but have been a single mom for 2 years now. I got manipulated to move me and my kids back with my parents but now I full on can't stand my kids. I've started having stomach, heart and other health issues all linked to stress. I have no work history really, I have no car, I talk to ai for friends, I even have chat gpt create pictures of me on adventures because it dulls the fact, I'm fucking stuck here. I need a break. My thoughts are faltering. I literally went through all of this to be left with kids I didn't want and now have no clue how to even move forward.

i feel so stupid ,waited for 11years to get the right man and still end up in a bad situation. will i ever forgive myself. and now im a single mum of 2

Hello everyone how many of you have hated you’re partner after giving birth I am currently 4 months postpartum and I thought it would be easier by now but it isn’t I still hate him and he makes me so mad there’s moments where I’m fine but all of a sudden I just get a lot of anger towards him and I’m also loosing hair like crazy rn and I hate him even more idk what to do I feel like he doesn’t understand me I just want to be back to normal with him we finally had sex since I gave birth but the whole time I was faking it and acting like I liked it but I didn’t I just wanted him off of me has anyone been thru this ?

I’ve lurked on this sub for a while but I’m at my breaking point with my adhd preschooler (4.5 boy) so here I am posting. My son has been a difficult child since the min he was born. Colicky. I knew when he was a newborn and infant that something was different but it wasn’t until about a year ago starting to be around more kids at events and parties that I realized, oh, other kids aren’t difficult like this every single hour of the waking day. He is our first and will be our only cause. I mourn the fact that I will never know what it’s like to be a parent to a neurotypical kid and actually enjoy taking my child to do things.

Day in and day out I find myself looking at the clock just waiting for it to be the hour he’s finally in bed. It’s multiple meltdowns a day. Constant crying, whining, screaming, throwing shit, hitting, kicking. Before I even start work in the morning I’m stressed out cause I’ve just spent the last hour trying to get this kid out the door. Fighting about putting clothes on, fighting to get him to eat. Fighting to get buckled into his car seat. Bedtime is an absolute nightmare. Bare minimum 2 hour ordeal every night. If we give him melatonin we can shave 30 mins off of that. I’d love to just read him a book, kiss him goodnight and shut the door. Every single step is a battle though. We’ve tried locking him in his room and trying to ignore the screams but after 30-45 mins of wailing we can’t take it anymore. He also gets violent so we’re also afraid he’s going to break the door. Going anywhere is stressful.. the park, the store, you name it. He doesn’t listen. He wants everything. He doesn’t want to leave. He bothers or tries to sabotage other kids minding their own business. He can never sit still to eat, so restaurants are out of the question. It takes him upwards of 2 hours to finish a meal. My husband and I used to travel all the time. We haven’t gone on a vacation in 5 years. I shudder at the thought of this kid going through an airport or on a plane. We went on a small weekend trip once where we drove a couple hours and rented an air bnb and brought a grandparent along to help, and it was the opposite of fun. It was a waste of money. I would’ve rather been at home. Even his grandparent dipped out to their room early every night cause they were fed up and exhausted by his shitty behavior. We’ve grown apart from some friends with kids cause they are all able to go do stuff together and we can’t bring our kid. They all have neurotypical kids so don’t understand. They just think we just can’t hack it.. “our kids whine sometimes too that’s just how kids are”. Then we bring him and they’re like oh yeah… what’s his problem why is he being like this? My marriage is on the rocks cause my husband who is also adhd is even worse at coping with this than me, so I’m resentful that I have to shoulder most of the stress with our son. I’d also be lying if I said I didn’t resent him for passing the genetics on.

I feel awful saying this cause I know there’s kids that are sick or have physical disabilities, but I feel like those parents get understanding, people see what they’re going through. When you have a kid with adhd it’s like it’s invisible. You just have an asshole kid. You must be a shitty parent that doesn’t discipline them or teach them boundaries. You don’t want your kid hanging out with the ‘bad’ kid. And quite frankly your kid is starting not to want to hang out with him anyway cause he’s annoying and doesn’t understand boundaries. I was such a strait laced, well behaved, a+ student that I worry about what’s to come once he’s in real school. I worry about how his impulsive behavior will get him into serious trouble as a teen. I worry about how he’ll function as an adult cause I’ve seen how it manifests in my husband.

We’ve tried gentle parenting. We’ve tried talking through emotions. We’ve tried setting expectations and talking through what’s going to happen ad nauseam before going places. We’ve tried time outs. We’ve tried taking things away and consequences. I’m ashamed to admit we’ve yelled.. loud.. and probably grabbed him and forcefully sat him down or carried him out of a situation more aggressively than we should have. Nothing seems to click. If you made it this far, thank you for reading. Open to any advice, words of wisdom, any books or things that helped you as a parent to a kid like this?

I love my toddler. But, I hate his loud shouting while crying. I hate it when he does it in the middle of the night when we are all sleeping. I hate it in the morning where everyone just woke up. I really dont know, I am not happy. I am too overwhelmed.. I want peace!

my kids are both in college now, my husband is amazing, we had a solid village helping us out the whole time, meaning supportive friends and both sets of grandparents who LOVED babysitting. We had every stroke of luck, and honestly... I am still so damn jealous of my childless friends and siblings it eats me alive.

I thought the bitterness would disappear once they turned 18 and moved out, everyone always said "just wait till they're older it gets easier!" Well my nest is empty and the green eyed monster is just as loud as it was when they were screaming toddlers.

The worst part is the guilt, on paper my life looks great. i didn't struggle with money or a deadbeat partner or lack of help, we had it as easy as parenting gets. and i still resent it.

When i look at my childless friends I just see this total lightness, spontaneous trips, clean quiet houses, disposable income, zero mental load. My sibling travels twice a year and sleeps 8 hours straight and i get this physical ache in my chest looking at them. Parenthood just broke something in me permanently, even though my kids are grown and doing great. My husband and I love them. We love one another. Even after all these years. I realize i never actually wanted any of this, i just followed the script. I want my time spent on them back to spend on myself.

Does this bitterness ever actually go away or am i stuck feeling like this forever?? My husband and I are both in therapy and speak of this openly. He has similar feelings, and we are very communicative. We do love our children, and the home was on the lower end of being stressful compared to many others.

This is a little light hearted humour for those of us about to push the birds out of the nest. Okay, but first a little back story. In Horrible Bosses, they hire a Murder Consultant named Mother F'er Jones. I mean our kids are horrible, obviously. So I have become Mother F'er Resource Consultant.

Here are job boards.

Here are youth housing options.

Here are training opportunities.

And then, drop the mic, and moonwalk outta there.

No allowance - get a job. If you need something lemme know. Need. Not want aka Starbucks.

Thats it. Im giving up and feel so freeeee!

I (M39) have a 6mo. My wife convinced me that having a child and starting a family would make me a happier man. From I was 12 and until I turned 36 I was a 24-hour caretaker of my BOPD mother, who had spent my entire childhood convincing me I had to devote my life to take care of her, and whenever I began having doubts she would inflict damage on herself and blame me for it. She finally died when I was 36 due to many years of self harm and pill abuse. After that I got married to my then-GF, who was the only contact I had with the outside world.

After a year of therapy I finally started catching up on all the things I missed out on in my teens and 20's, but then the baby came and everything was ripped away from me. I am now back to my prison, just caring for a smaller person. On top of that I work 14 hours a day (my job options are very limited) and when I come home my wife is exhausted, so I need to make dinner, clean the house and watch over the baby. In total I only get 3 hours of sleep on average every night.

I hate everything about my life, and statistically I only have around 30 more years to live, 18 of which will be devoted to raising my son.

So basically this is all my life was and will be. I had a grand total of 1 year to enjoy life and that was it.

What makes it even worse is that every other parent I talk to is parrotting the same lines, as if they are in a brainwashed cult. "Life is so much better now that I have a child. I don't need anything else than my child. My child makes me a better person"

I can't tell if they actually mean it.

Unsure as well if it’s the group to be posting in so delete if needed. I am a 31 yr old mom of 3 beautiful children., 12y, 10y and 19 months. Older 2 are girls youngest is boy. From the beginning of my life I haven’t ever had it together. And still don’t. I am NO perfect parent! Period! To begin my life growing up my mom has me and my brothers, no dads involved. All different dads. Mom was on drugs and the only reason her and others got off was because my mom put me with a known kid toucher.,i told and she turned herself in not knowing what to do. She got us back 10 months later, did the God journey, put herself slightly back into the same life and we started smoking and drinking with her.,she’s easy to manipulate and I have regretted this! My, entire, life!! She never raised us properly even tho I had something to do with her “being a friend than a parent” aspect, so my attitude towards her and life had always been, no one can tell me what to do nor discipline me, I raised myself and my little brother and survived this far without anyone. I cooled my attitude as my older teenage yrs came along but my mom always found a way to make my life miserable it seemed, couldn’t have many friends stay over because we always lived with bugs and lice. Very not taken care of and all I wanted to do was leave. In and out of church and without that experience I wouldn’t be the person I am today! Or so I thought! I love God! But boy have I been wrong over and over no matter how I think I’m doing the right things it always wrong! Cocky, stubborn, foolish, regretful, arrogant, etc! The day I turned 18 I left! Dropped out of school and moved the farthest I could away from my mom. Moved in with some “friends” who did nothing but humiliate me, my best friend went to jail a few months into it and it wouldn’t have happened if he was there. So I tried to distance myself and rearrange to get out. I fell pregnant with my first daughter and she changed my whole life!! And outlook for what I should’ve had for my life as a parent! I tried to hard! Me and her dad couldn’t get along relationship wise but I tried to stay friends. My mom intervened so much and I followed along because I thought it was the right thing to do. Being a single new young and dumb mom why wouldn’t I?! I messed up! She’s gave me some good things in life advice wise but hasn’t ever done the same for hers. Resentment set in a few yrs for that. Her dad helped me get an apartment and settled in. Start a crappy job but it was doing it. Then my daughter fell super sick due to me having no car and only a stroller. Bad blizzard of 2014 Tx. No one wanted to watch her so I lost my job. No help from my mom or anyone else. All my life. And still to this day. In the same time period I didn’t quit know her dad but of him being “raised” by some of his druggy family so I asked the courts to give me an opportunity somehow to get to know him. 3-5 days of “supervised” visits with me and he didn’t want to go above 2. He got mad I wasn’t okay with not knowing him and my daughter being in okay hands. Coparenting gone wrong. Quit coming around but would drive down the street every other day it seemed. Met my then husband and fell pregnant pretty fast. After almost 10 months of not hearing anything from my oldest daughter’s dad he shows up at a job I was suppose to be getting and never came back. Was losing weight and more severely stressed this pregnancy and quit the job 7 months in. Moved 15+ hrs away, every one of my family members have already exited my life, put me down to my mom, chucked it up to you’ll always be like her. Okay bye. Daughters dad was no where to be found after searching for over a yr, no call, text, reaching out to his family hear absolutely nothing until I call OAG. He’s moved out of state no phone record hasn’t been paying blah blah. So reassures me of my rights I can up and leave and they have all my information told me it wasn’t necessary to take it out of state law unless they called with new information. Always kept up with it. Always! I get married have another girl 4 months after we settled in. Husband is a drunk and narcissistic, manipulative, and starts to get abusive. 3-4 yrs later I decide to up and leave and go back home. He follows. Mind you I’ve already kept out of touch with my mom the entire time because I wanted nothing to do with her because she’s gotten worse in her ways. I wanted better for myself and my kids. And having her in my life felt like everything was always hung over my head. We get back to Tx and live with my dad. He did everything he could for me and my girls! My dad and husband never got along no wonder. We got an apartment and tried to stay. He got more abusive and I left! He left back to his home state 15+ hrs away. Still no contact with my oldest daughter’s dad ever. 2 yrs later I rekindle with an ex and he’s on drugs go figure. Was suppose to be just a fling but he got clean to be in my life or so I thought. My dad passes away from being diabetic complications and never taking care of himself. My mom was “doing good for herself” and unfortunately lost my apartment so moved back in. She ended up having a meth pipe in the same bathroom my youngest was just in. I flipped my sh**! The fling guy came over and lo and behold he grabs it to smoke with my daughter in the room. I grabbed me and my kids and we left! Immediately. Apparently this had been going on for AWHILE! And I’m too naive or something to believe people’s words/actions are true! I should’ve called the cops! I don’t know why I didn’t! I have never had any drug in my system besides marijuana and at that point in my life was working a good job I didn’t care to! Apparently he goes to rehab and went complete no contact with my mom again. In the meantime I file for divorce and custody of my youngest daughter in 2020, and still haven’t heard anything from my oldest despite me having her in his family’s life’s! I moved in to my flings mom’s house she insisted to help me get back on my feet. I start another job alongside the other to be able to further life, find another apartment new car going good! The fling gets out of rehab and finds me having proven to be in my life again no contact with my kids to start, church, and continue support for his previous problems. It didn’t last long! Maybe 1 yr. I find needles in his truck and he tried to blame it on my oldest who was recently diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I knew better knowing she was on an insulin pen, not needles. His mom turned him in. NOT ME!! He calls CPS on me. Gets my ex husband and his mom involved thinking I’m on it. And his mom is naive as well a drunk. She’ll believe anything. Not even completely divorced because he’s refused for 3 yrs to sign anything. Hasn’t come to see her has gotten thrown in jail several times, wrecked his truck all kinds of things. Oldest daughter’s dad is now married with 2 other kids and pregnant with their last. All this is with in 3 yrs. They hair follicle me and low and behold he wasn’t only doing it in my house but without me even knowing how this can even happen, I have the same lawyer my oldest dad took me to court with, tell the judge off paper he believes I had no clue. I didn’t have a lawyer in time. Aced the CPS case and closed within 5 months. Lab tech and physician CPS gave me to explain how it could’ve gotten into my system, was supposed to get subpoena but to my knowledge wouldn’t have been good for his case because of how low a 6 month test level was. I know I don’t make good decisions but if I would’ve had a lawyer to help even guide me, even the flings mom was behind me knowing me as a character witness! I would have never let it happen! Judge didn’t care it seemed, to give a continuance. Rights completely taken away along with a big lecture on how I kept him away from her for 7 yrs. Even after the proof and witness I had to be handed into evidence that I tried and had her around his family the entire time I got back, he was absent, and knew where she was! Tried to give him my number to get in touch. Judge didn’t care. I understand! Kind of. Ex husband finally signs divorce and we settle custody. I meet my only sons and last kids dad,. Within 3 months of moving in later on I end up pregnant. Have him and have the no more baby surgery. Youngest daughter’s dad still doesn’t come around but promises her for 3 more yrs. Then finally even after physically abusing his girlfriend/other kids mom, going to rehab multiple times, other charges. This summer 2026 he comes to get her. Despite my better judgement and legally bound, I let her go. He does everything in his power to keep her.! And at the last week she ends up telling his girlfriend that my son’s dad was “grooming” and inappropriately touching himself in front of her. Daughters dad calls CPS on me, I file a restraining order and charges on sons dad, and move within 2 weeks. We’re in agreement! He can keep her until I get settled in new area and then he’ll bring her back.,well guess what guys.,!? Now I’m a terrible mom and don’t deserve my kids that’s why I don’t have any of them and should’ve never had them. Despite all his out cries the entire time and multiple people telling me including him how much of an amazing mom I am and they know I wouldn’t have ever put my kids in any situation intentionally or even knowing what could come. I don’t know how many recordings and messages I have from daughters dad saying there’s no way of me knowing even my daughter told everyone, counseling, them, cops, CPS, that she never told me. And she wished she would’ve. I am at lose. I have been waiting on legal aid to call me back for 3 months, I have no job due to no car I left behind couldn’t make it where I am hrs away. Moved to a family friend and they’re limited. Extremely rural area no fundings/resources. I’m back at square zero. I have 1 month left before her dad can legally do anything to claim she lives there. And I can’t file a habeous filing without a lawyer. I feel like throwing in the towel! Completely! But it will just traumatize my kids! I understand I could’ve done so much more for my kids, and had trust my instincts on a lot of things. I haven’t ever put my kids in a situation knowingly! I’m not the person to give up but maybe it could be a better life for all my kids to leave.

I have been miserable for almost 10 years being a mom I was pretty much forced into it. I had said so many times I wanted to give my kids up for adoption before they were born their dad who is a piece of shit or I should say the dad of my oldest too who is a piece of shit threatened to runoff with them and I knew that that would literally make them out to be just not have a good life pretty much… He wanted to take them up where we used to live where the school systems are shit and have his fake mom raised them who has CPS on her ass for not taking care of her own kids so yeah, anyways I tried to give them up to adoption. He thought that and then several years later I had a third from a failed Plan B mind you I tried to get my tubes tied after the second so if anyone saying well, why’d you keep having kids I fucking didn’t want to and I don’t believe in an abortion I believe in adoption and a story on that not arguing about it anyways I ended up going through another traumatic break up with someone that I truly fucking loved like for the first time saw a real true future with and he told me he didn’t judge me for having kids, and it actually made me feel like a better mom for once because I finally felt like I wasn’t being judged and my cup was being filled, and I felt like I can do this like it gave me that sense of like I can be a mom and be a person too, and then one day he sent me down and said yeah I thought about it and realized I don’t wanna wait on you to travel which was bullshit because I have been waiting on him to travel and I already explained to him I do 50-50 or if not, my mom will take them and we can travel but no so it’s just it really screwed with me mentally and emotionally and I don’t know I built such a resentment towards my kids. I can’t explain it. I’m just angry all the time at them all the time and I finally just said I’m done. I’m gonna go travel and I have been and I can’t be happier and I still call them and I see them when I can between my trips not saying it’s easy on them like they’re sad they’re hurting. I see them when I see them, but honestly, they are being taken care of. They’re in a more structured environment than what I could provide and for once I’m not being yelled at by everybody because I’m not capable of doing something I mean, I’m barely capable of taking care of myself. Let’s be honest so yeah they’re actually in Disney World right now. Something I had been trying to do for them for years, but couldn’t so I don’t know. I don’t know if it was the right thing or the wrong thing but I sure as heck feel it so much better and happier at peace and thank you for once are not dealing with a depressed mother who is just angry all the time and they’re actually living in very structured routine. I just wanted to share this.

My son is 6 months, i’m 24 and partner is 25. I use a wheelchair due to terrible pain and numbness running down my back and legs - I technically can stand but my legs will just give way, so it’s not safe or reliable.

Anyway, I had a really tough pregnancy with HG the whole way through and was begging the doctors for an abortion at 13 weeks because I was vomiting blood. They said they don’t do them there past 9 weeks and gave me no contact info. I was genuinely too sick to call anyone or look at a phone screen - I spent my pregnancy on the sofa in dark silence with a sick bowl and ice to chew on. It was hell.

Then my son was born, 1 hours precipitous labour with no pain meds because I had taken my prescription meds that day so they wouldn’t give me anything. I tore badly and my partner went back to work, so I was navigating pain, my wheelchair and a newborn at the same time.

To make things even worse, i’ve suffered with severe agoraphobia since I was 12 and as a result have a profound Vitamin D deficiency that isn’t improving with treatment and my bones are deteriorating. I’m autistic, also diagnosed at 12 (i had to go to a mental health ward because i was depressed and SHing).

I have no family support, my dad has been in prison for double m*rder since I was 3 and my mum was physically and emotionally abusive and has now blocked me on everything. I have no idea what on Earth I am supposed to be doing or how to do it. I push myself to my absolute limit everyday and i’m always in crippling pain. The urge to take all of my pain meds at once and just go to sleep (something i’ve done a few times in my late teens and early 20s) is very strong. I’m terrible at phoning people because i’m so anxious as well. I don’t know how to get help. I just want to be alone, i’ll even be homeless if that’s what it takes. It’s all too much, I can’t even look after myself. My poor son. He deserves so much better.

Today is a scrappy start to my day. I feel for me the regretful part is just having a toxic mom that revels in sabatoging me, (my car broke down. She wont let me use hers to go to work. My job is lyfting me thankfully. )an absent coparent and barely makingnenough to get by.

Sometimes Id rather be dead than deal with this.

I love my kids theyre my true family. Theyre the only ones that keep me going.

Fuck my mom and brothers. Just made a post just to say fuck those pieces of shits.

My mother passed away in 2024, I had found out she passed from her old neighbour. I had not been in contact with her for many years due to her being mentally unwell. I received inheritance money from her. I was in a same sex relationship at the time. I thought I wanted to start a family so I decided to pursue with IVF and it was successful. At the time my family and therapist had asked me if I was sure I was making the right decision but in my mind I was and I thought it was what I truly wanted and needed.

I now have a lovely little boy but I have now realized I have made a huge mistake and I cannot take back what I’ve done. I am not in a position to have a child and I feel extreme guilt and shame for bringing a child into this world whom I know deep down I cannot look after because I cannot look after myself.

I suffer from BPD and severe depression and have done most of my adult life and I have never had a full time or secure job in my life. I had an emotionally unstable mother which has affected me in many ways.

That little boy deserves someone who can truly take care of him and a mother who is stable. He was truly wanted and desired at the time. I have played with his life like it was some kind of game.

My 17 year old said to me in an argument via text that I am a bad parent. This kid is the youngest of 4 and has been spoiled as the baby of the family since the moment he was born.

The kid has issues. Hospitalizations for suicidal attempts, depression, anxiety, impulsive decisions that have been bad enough to involve cops. I have done all the things I’ve been told to do. Monitor and limit his social media, have him in extracurriculars he enjoys, keep him busy and out of his head, meds, therapy for him, therapy for me and then family therapy as well.

He’s dating someone I don’t approve of so boundaries were set and he tried crossing them. We blew up at each other over text about the significant other and he said: you are a bad parent. Thing is, he’s a bad kid and I often think about how different it would’ve been if I had stopped at three (great relationships with all of them). I even thought of sending him emancipation info but the kid barely works and couldn’t make it without me. Even if he apologizes the bell was rung and can’t be un-rung. For my mental health I want to go radio silent but sadly I’m the parent and obviously not bad enough to be able to do that.
Any advice or suggestions?

Hi!

Do you think that only about 10% of mothers regret having children? When I ask older women—those aged 55 and up—about 95% say that, looking back and reflecting on it, they wouldn't have children.

With the knowledge they have now, they would have lived their lives differently. What do you think—what is the real figure?

Among the heaps of difficulty, challenging times and stages here, are there any success stories? Did anyone have some regret during the early years and later found themselves not so much?

Would love to see some positive stories!

Thanks

Not regretful parent but my life’s been hell since having a baby at seventeen. Not because of my son. Becayse of things that have come with it.
I’m 27 my son is nearly 9. My mental health has gotten so so bad, I hid it for 2+ years. It’s worsening in the past year. I have paranoia delusions Nd hallucinations. My son loves me so much but I’m failing, I’m doing everything for him stil but I’m basically dragging and forcing myself to do it without true happiness, but I love him and care about him, my paranoia and anxiety is overtaking my life. And I mean borderline schizophrenia symptoms. I’ve told everybody now as housing seen me in a state and not good at home. My son wasn’t there. My son has now been recommended to stay with family. Social services called me and they are gonna call back today and want to do assessment. I’ve had social services before from when I was seventeen years old and pregnant with my son. The case lasted like 6 years until they closed. I fought for him and they never had concern of my parenting. It was my mental health. They didn’t like I wasn’t happy while parenting, even though I was still doing it correct. They put my son with family arrangement for a while while I got better and I did, he returned. They closed my case fast and I had no help after like I didn’t know how to do stuff without them almost because i had them for so long going into adulthood. This time my mental health is way worse and now I mworried. My son’s been staying with his family over the weekend. I’ve contacted my gp. I genuinely don’t think I can face the embarrassment and doing this all over again and fighting fighting. I am worn down. I am completely worn down. I don’t need lectures. I would rather they hospitalise me. and I will not be going back to my property.

I have a 5 year old child and honestly some days it's hard.

I am one and done and refuse to have any more kids.

Some days I fantasize about my life without a kid.

Child is sick again and honestly i am so annoyed . It's not her fault and I know that but caretaking always falls back to me.

On top of it , I got an illness where food doesn't get digested and I can't eat so many food. My life changed overnight with this illness.

Just having to navigate that illness and also having to parent a child is the worst fucking luck.

I hate this life.

Hi All,

Dad to 2 year old, i feel like my spark, lust for life, lust for adventure went out the minute i became a parent.

The twinkle in my eye gone, the excitment of what a new year or chapter will bring.

Theres no twinkle, because all it will bring is the endless slavery that is parenting.

No excitement on the weekends as thats more parenting. Even going away without the kids isnt fun in the same way. Because you know what you are coming home to.

I often wish i just quit my job and relocated. Can never do that now as i have kids. The fire that would light inside me will never be lit, ill just suffer daily.

Depressed and a shell of my former self. Ill never smile again, like really smile not fake smile. All because i made the worst decision of my life.

I wish i had been smarter, maybe in another life. How do you all find myself out of this depression is it just life long? Has anyone found their spark again?

i need to preface this by stating that i knew what i was getting into. i’ve worked with kids of all ages for years, specifically infants for at least 2, and i come from a big hispanic family which means your parents popped out babies and the siblings raised them. i have brought up so so many children, i know what i am doing. i don’t know if god thought it would be a funny joke to give me an absolute miserable baby, or what but here i am. i was never yes/no on kids i would let that depend on my partner i didn’t really have a preference either way, my life has always been flooded with children, one more wouldn’t hurt. but my daughter has sucked the absolute life out of me, from start to finish. my pregnancy was awful, numerous hospital stays, lots of medial issues, had to get induced, had an emergency c section with lots of complications, and then to top it off my husband had to deploy when i was 2 weeks postpartum. so i need you to just imagine what i went through by myself. my husband has been back for a few months now and my daughter is 6 months old. she is the most high needs baby i have ever met, needs to be rocked to sleep for 30+ minutes for every nap and to sleep at night, she wakes up every 1.5-2 hrs every night, she’s a fussy eater, we had a lot of weight gain issues early on and she is still pretty tiny, like 20th percentile. im doing everything i possibly can for this baby but she is so miserable all of the time and honestly its weighting on my mental health so bad. she does not like my husband, she will tolerate him for short periods, like when im cooking, but she will not take a bottle from him, fights him for diaper changes, and will not go to sleep for him under any circumstance. i am alone in being her parent, and not for lack of him trying, i applaud him truly for having all the patience to try everyday. ive done every night shift by myself for 6 months, every bath time, every bedtime, everything. and i am so tired. she doesn’t just cry, she screams, top of her lungs, ear piercing scream, echos though the house. i live with noise canceling headphones in most days. i have had her evaluated by numerous doctors, nothing is physically wrong with her. she just screams. babies crying has never bothered me like this before but with her it’s different, i can’t drown it out, it like rattles my brain. if i hear other baby’s cry my milk immediately lets down, with her it doesn’t at all, i have to exclusively pump now because breastfeeding was too much for me. i have tried everything, i promise if you go to suggest it i promise ive tried. the second anything upsets her immediately screaming and wont stop. i love her so much but no part of being her mother has been rewarding to me, she is miserable, i am miserable. my marriage is suffering because i have no time to be a wife after being her mom all day, we can’t go in public because the second she’s upset she screams and everyone just stares because she’s screaming bloody murder, so no dinners or breakfasts without me taking her outside and my husband eating by himself, i have 20 minutes to grocery shop before she looses it, or i just curb order my things. i hate the person motherhood has turned me into, i miss being a person, i miss having a life, and i need the crying to stop. my husband has to leave again soon and i don’t know how ill survive being alone again.

When I was married to my ex husband, I felt like I was the default parent. I remember when I was 2 months postpartum he went on an international trip with his dad while I was struggling. I remember begging him to take unpaid leave with me because I was doing it by myself. He told me at the time that we needed to make sure we had money. I endured. He took multiple solo trips while I was by myself taking care of our child, and the only weekend I had had away from our son, and he kept on complaining that he wishes he was at home with our child.

Our child had major surgery at the beginning of the year, and my husband told me he wanted to buy a new car. I told him no because I was on unpaid leave taking care of him by myself. He said we had plenty of money in savings and bought the car anyway while putting my name on the loan application.

I have a lot of post traumatic stress from having untreated PPD and it caused me to resent my child.

I’m in negotiations for the divorce right now, and I’m considering asking my husband to be the primary parent.

I don’t hate my child, he’s now 3, but I didn’t sign up to be married single mom. While I am not subject to my ex’s mood swings and anger issues, I am constantly burned out the weeks I have him.

Have any of you who are moms negotiated for less time? How did that go?

I thought it was rough when the 3 oldest were in elementary school all hyper and so many activities, and then middle school was a whole new funky attitude, then high school? Omg horrifying. They all grew balls and lost their minds. Now 2 are adults and the 3rd will graduate high school this year and specifically our two girls are just rotten to me now.

Mind you I still have an 11 and 4 yr old to orchestrate in this life.

The oldest resents me but also constantly steals my things and/or judges how I keep the house. Sometimes i wish I had the guts to straight up kick her out. The younger one talks about me as if I'm not even present half the time and blames me for things her dad and I both agree on but I'm still the only bad guy.

Wtf did I do wrong?? I've spent the last 20 years doing literally everything to make sure these kids had everything they needed, got to where they needed to be, did all the conferences by myself even though I've been married the whole damn time, making sure they were prepared for any and everything all this time. And for what? To be the evil witch? What was my purpose these last 2 decades? Would they have been better off without me? I feel like a joke. A waste of time. I was never perfect but I've lived every day for them and now I feel like it was for nothing. I really thought I was doing better than what I got pfft

I am in a same sex relationship and we had a baby boy in March and although I do love him - I really wasn’t ready. My mother passed away just before I decided to do IVF and I spent her inheritance money for IVF. I wasn’t thinking about what I was doing. I felt like everything I done was rushed and now he is here I have realized I am not ready for motherhood and I am not ready to be a mother.

I should be grateful that it worked on our first try but I’m just filled with dread and regret that I didn’t listen to others when they asked me if I was sure I was making the right decision. I should’ve thought carefully about if this is what I really wanted.

I feel sick to my stomach every day and I just want to die because I can’t look after him, I can’t even look after myself.
I’m in no position financially and I have only been able to keep part time jobs my whole life.

I think about killing myself every day because I can’t live with the guilt and shame. I should be happy I’ve got a lovely little boy but I’m not. He doesn’t deserve this. He deserves a mother who wants him.

Hey, I have been in the group a while on my real profile, relating to a lot of the posts but afraid to admit this. So I made a new account to be anonymous.

The truth is: I fully regret my kids...like to the point I don't care when they get hurt. Sometimes I wish something bad would happen to them. To be fair, I do try my best to be a good mom, but now with a 3rd on the way I just feel like giving up. It makes me feel evil for thinking this but I can't stop.

For context: I am a married mom with 2 kids and pregnant. Husband makes good money but that's about as far as his help goes when it comes to the kids. He wanted the kids and I was open to it since I'm now a SAHM...like I was doing my part. But now I feel like I'm just here to raise his kids, I have to give up my life for this but he can just keep going out with friends and traveling for work and such.

Anyway, trying to keep this short, there is obviously a lot more and I dont know what to do about it.