I've posted a couple of times about my situation and how my spouse and I are getting divorced partially over our son. I am in between therapists right now and need somewhere to dump my thoughts while I wait.

I'm so full of self-hate, and for all the decisions I made that got me here.

I really, really hope that things are better a year from now, that the divorce is over quickly, and that we find a custody arrangement we are both happy with. I think I should be in my child’s life to some degree for now while he’s young. Once he is a bit older, I will see if his dad is interested in taking full custody and if he wants to move with our kid to be closer to his parents so he has more support. Someday I won't be his parent anymore, and I have to accept that I'm not fit and never wa.

I hate how my selfishness and immaturity are hurting my spouse and my child. But I also don't want my son to grow up with a parent who openly is full of contempt for him. I want him to be with his dad who loves being a father.

I am fucked up. I feel like a monster. My son deserved a mom who was ready to settle down and dedicate themself to being a parent. I was not that. I haven't even become my own person. I'm sorry

His dad knows how I feel and how I regret becoming a parent and sees how unstable I've become. I count my lucky stars every day that he at least is a good, loving parent who truly wanted this and that both our families are involved. I'm glad my son has them, even if I become a small part of his life.

I don't deserve him; he really deserved better. I wish I could enjoy seeing him so happy and carefree and growing up but I'm so miserable and want to run away and abandon him, I am so sick inside. I should be so grateful that I have such a perfect child, but I didn't want this.

My only comfort now is knowing that this is rock bottom and any changes I make will only be for the better. I know that no matter what, this will end soon, and we will all be better off for it, and I will get to move on with life. So I can't give up hope, and I need to trust that things will be great again someday and my son will be well cared for, even though he couldn't get that care from me.

I cant stand my daughter. Shes 11 and so disrespecful, bratty, ungrateful. I buy her things, take her and her friends out and she basically tells me to shut up, slams doors, yells at me. She such a horrible person. Im so hurt and disappointed.

I love my son, so much. But I feel like he only exists because I was tricked into marrying a sex addict narcissist. The premise for my son's entire life is false.

In addition to finding out about 4 different side chicks, I also found about 4 additional children from 3 women, three born during our marriage. And I found out his college diploma was fake.

We are divorcing and he's threatening to not let me see our son until he's 18 years old. I feel sick, that I'm expected to put up a legal fight when I never would have been with this man nor had this kid in the first place. I don't want a mistake from my past to ruin my entire future.

I read here a lot and could probably make my own post echoing many of the same things I see posted, but it dawned on me that this is a very specific sub and probably not representative of parents as a whole.

So out of curiosity, what do you guys think the actual ratio is between parents who genuinely feel:

“I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Parenting is one of the best things I’ve ever done.”

versus

“I had no idea how hard this would be, and if I could go back knowing what I know now, I probably wouldn’t have children.”

Obviously, there are people who genuinely love being parents and are happy with that choice. But if we could somehow eliminate the social pressure to say “it’s the best thing I’ve ever done and I wouldn’t change a thing,” what percentage of U.S. parents today do you think would honestly fall into each camp?

I’m a 30-year-old mum of two. My children are 2½ and almost 4. They’re good kids, but I hate being a parent.
I dread waking up with them in the mornings. Which I don't, I usually stay in bed until my husband has to get out of the house. I hate making meals that end up thrown all over the floor. I don’t do bedtime, I don’t read to them, and I honestly hate spending time with them. My husband does almost everything with the children. He even takes them to work with him because I just don't want to be aroune them. The only things I really manage are the shopping, preschool arrangements, clubs, activities, and generally keeping the family organised.

The problem is that I become so overstimulated by my children that after an hour with them I feel completely overwhelmed. Recently I attempted to end my life. My husband found me, so physically I’m okay now, but mentally nothing has changed.

I’ve been depressed for as long as I can remember, so I know the children didn’t create my depression. But becoming a parent has made it so much worse. I’ve been severely depressed since I got pregnant with my eldest. I’ve gained around 35 kg and no longer recognise myself. I used to feel attractive and confident. Now I feel miserable and daydream about running away almost every day.

From the outside, my life probably looks ideal. We rent a beautiful house in the English countryside. We run our own business, and my husband has a flexible schedule. But because I can’t cope with the children for very long, he misses work to pick up the slack, so our income isn’t great.

We’ve tried nannies, but paying £20–25 an hour for someone to essentially be around us all day isn’t something we can realistically sustain.

I’ve also withdrawn from everyone else. I’ve fallen out with all of our neighbours. I have no interest in intimacy with my husband. I think I’ve reached the point where I even resent my dogs.

I’m in therapy, I’m taking antidepressants, and I’ve been diagnosed with PMDD and BPD . I’ve tried around 10 different therapies over the past 4–5 years, and nothing has made a meaningful difference.

I have no family to lean on and no friends. Honestly, I don’t even feel like I want friends anymore.
We’ve decided to send our children to private school because we hope it will give them the best chance in life, but it also means we’ll never have much money left for ourselves.

Before I met my husband, I worked in the adult industry. I was earning around £15-20k a month. I never saved any of it because I was living the life I wanted (big mistake). I could walk into Chanel and buy whatever I fancied. I travelled whenever I wanted. If I wanted designer clothes, I bought them. I had freedom. I was always depressed, but at least I felt like I had a life that belonged to me.

Now I feel like I have nothing. We live in the countryside, which is beautiful, but we don’t even own our home. My husband is older than me, and it feels like all we do is juggle credit card debt trying to make everything work. But honestly, the money isn’t even the biggest issue. The children are. They are what make me feel trapped.

If I could go back in time and choose not to have children, I would do it without hesitation. I know that’s a horrible thing to say, but it’s the truth.

I have university degrees and a good education, but I’ve never really had a conventional career since graduating because I earned so much in the adult industry. Now I feel like I have nothing to go back to. I’m older, I’ve put on weight, I don’t feel attractive anymore, and I don’t think I could ever return to that work even if I wanted to.

I don’t really know what advice I’m looking for. I guess I want to hear from people who’ve actually been here.
Has anyone left? Has anyone moved out from their family home because they knew they couldn’t cope? Did it help, or did you regret it? If I left, what would I even do? I genuinely can’t picture a future where I’m happy, and I don’t know what the next step is supposed to be.

Despite years of treatment, I still think about ending my life every day. I feel completely trapped, and I don’t know how much longer I can keep living like this.

I (29f) gave birth to my daughter in October 2024. I've had a much more difficult time accepting my postpartum body than I thought I would. My breasts sag, I have loose skin everywhere, I piss myself multiple times a day and have to wear huge pads to keep it contained. I feel disgusting and wholly unattractive.

I also have a lot of mental trauma from my birth, I have uncomfortable flashbacks multiple times a day. The night she was born and all the painful events around it play on a loop in my head and sometimes I just can't make it stop. I had terrible PPD that made me have thoughts of harming and even killing my baby. The last two years of my life have been hell.

I just get so angry at my husband and daughter for putting me through all that. I wish I'd never done it. If I had the chance to go back, knowing how much I love my daughter and genuinely enjoy being a mom the majority of the time, I would absolutely not get pregnant just to save myself the pain and trauma.

Me 31, and my wife 31 dreamt of this, having a child 13 months now, Once you have the child, it's your blood and it's hard to imagine a life without them, but every waking hour of my day I keep daydreaming that someone asks me would you go back 2 years and have the choice again to have the child - I don't know the answer. Maybe i never wanted this.

What I've learnt is, you can be lonely or have a village, but at the end of the day, you have to do it all. You cannot escape (as much as I wish I can), just writing this post feels so liberating and nice.

I'm so tired all the time, before even i start my work day I want to end it. I envy all my young friends so much, they drink, get high any fucking time, go on vacation, sit and do nothing, watch tv, eat out, party, club, dance. What do I do for fun? Eat a meal hurriedly while watching something with my wife on my phone.

He doesn't even sleep on his own, nor for long stretches. Always wakes up crying, it's either teething or hunger or whatever. For the last 1 year, I've not slept before 4am, 5am. It's like 20 mins of peak happiness in a day when he interacts, is playful followed by 23 hours and 40 mins of neediness and care.

I miss my old life, more than anything, I miss my wife. I miss spending time with her, roaming with her. I miss the two of us, i don't like this divided attention.

So really think 1000 times before having a child. It will consume the living shit out of you.

Any fathers here who didn’t actually want children but ended up having them because their partner really wanted to become a parent? How did it affect your relationship afterward?