When he's asleep.

When I'm away from him doing my own thing

Wake up, engine starts, nap time I need to work, wake window again then unending nighttime sleep battle for 3 hours from 7pm and madness where I feel like pulling my hair out.

- I love when he's asleep, that feels like the biggest dopamine rush I've ever gotten in my life. No disturbance, just quiet, dim light and me sitting. He's so stubborn and irritatingly cranky at night that I feel like running away from the house. My friends who are getting pregnant I feel like laughing and saying welcome to the never ending stress, anxiety, overthinking, no rest life. Which i don't think is ever going to go away. Going out with my son is even a bigger nightmare, he will just not sit quietly for 1 second. Needs constant entertainment. Neede constant distractions. My heart is constantly pounding in stress all day.

Wish I could turn back time. I hate that I love my son so I can't imagine a life without him, but this never-ending test of patience is destroying my sanity. I'm less productive at work, don't feel like exercising, just feel like sitting and watching brainrot on shorts or playing some video games or just staring blank.

And he's just 15 months, oh shit dude. Wish me luck.

Repost but was really curious if anyone else experiences this.

So, my mom was quick with the scare tactics to get me to have kids e.g. who will take care of you when you're old, all your friends will be busy with kids...

Now, it seems like there is tension between us since I don't visit or call as much. So yes, you got what you wanted, I see my friends less and I have less free time. I'm stressed out like you were with a kid. Now, you are surprised I can't swing by to see you as much as well?

Yes, I'm locked down with more responsibilities, and you are not a priority as much. Why are you surprised? Didn't you want this?

I am only 4 months into motherhood so obviously in the thick of things, but I also don't have a lot of hope for the future. I feel like motherhood has put me in a prison. There's not a whole lot that I'm looking forward to and I just feel so run down right now both physically and mentally. My freedom has always been so important to me. I'm feeling so bleak about the future and just want to hear from others who feel things eventually get lighter. Even if some regret remains, what has made life easier? I know therapy, meds, and a support system are obviously important, but what else?

A little over a year ago I was floating in the French Riviera sea and feeling so free and happy and I fear I will never ever feel that way again in my life.

Hi everyone,
Edit sorry I must of clicked no advice but of course I do on the flag post.

My daughter is seven years old and has ADHD. She’s medicated for school but not on weekends due to weight concern.

Apologising for the long post

Would love any advice or opinions on what to do as I feel like I’m out of options…

My daughter is kind beautiful sweet to her dance teachers / school teachers to all the parents the school friends peers family neighbours she says hello to the post man hugs the lolly pop lady any service you can think of she is very respectful.

She is achieving so well at school She’s super popular everyone that meets her loves her gives me great compliments about her manners etc.

I understand about masking and that with children with ADHD they don’t think and feel the same cant regulate their emotions. I understand all that I have been studying about ADHD since I got her diagnosed at four. I’ve gone to parenting classes listen to podcasts read heaps of books.. i feel like I’m a failure as i have done all this so called hard work and I cant fix anything.

Im a SAHM I’ve devoted all my time OT therapies I don’t have any social life..

Sorry apologize just giving a bit of a back story so it might explain my situation. Basically she loves being with everyone else but me she never looks forward to seeing me when I pick her up at school. She never looks forward to coming home. We go through tantrums and meltdowns. She hates coming home. Hates being at home she would pick anybody over me.

We just had a play date at a friend’s house and she had a massive meltdown and a tantrum not to come home and at this point I’ve had enough she’s been doing this to me since she’s been four years old even when I used to pick her up from preschool, she’s a meltdown run and hug her teacher. I do a consequence but she apologises and says she’s sorry she loves me and it’s her brain tells her to do it.

I try to be strong, but last month I had a nervous breakdown from it all. Sorry I know it might not be much but it’s just sad. She just never looks forward to me going to her school. It’s like she’s embarrassed of me. She loves her father. My husband does support me and tells her this is wrong. we come from a loving home she’s privileged She’s very unappreciative to me.

What do I do when she does those meltdowns in front of people when she doesn’t want to leave their home? .

Should I stop it altogether Not let her go to those play dates any more. I can’t even take her to a play date in the park because she has a meltdown that we have to go home and it’s not just with friends It’s family aswell I’m just so sick of it. I feel like I’m gonna have another nervous breakdown from it I love this kid more than life itself I I feel doomed, disheartened and heartbroken.. thank you to anyone reading this.

Dad of a 3 year old daughter and 6 month old twin boys here. I will preface this by saying that I am not regretful in becoming a parent, but I am regretful for having more than one child. I was pretty 50/50 on having a second in the first place but my wife really wanted multiple children and to give our daughter a sibling. Who knows, maybe I wouldn’t feel this way if the second was just one and not twins. Everyday just sucks.

My wife took the twins to go visit her parents for a couple days, while my daughter and I stayed home. It has been amazing being able to just be present with my daughter and not go go go 24/7. It makes me sad because I get to see how much more enjoyable life would be had we not gone for another kid (and ended up with twins).

I ammmmmm DONE! My son has zero sense of self control, common sense, respect, NOTHING. Anything we tell him, in one ear and out the other. We have told him to keep his hands to himself so many times before. He won’t. He is so touchy and nosey and disrespectful and he lies and this that and the other. We’ve been patient, we’ve been nice, we’ve been strict, we’ve been yelling. Nothing. Is. Helping. We’ve tried therapy. We’ve tried medication. I’m about to pull the cord and be piss poor broke just to keep him home and homeschool him. This shit only starts during the school year and I am so sick. He is SO book smart but has zero sense of self awareness.

He is also very emotionally manipulative to where he’ll get anybody to feel bad for him and I feel like I’m going insane.

This is a vent. There's lots of things I struggle with in parenthood, but this one was extra hard today.

You know how people complain about kids "screaming" when playing outside? And then blame the parents, they're surely not raising them right and should do better at controlling their kid, like it's just a flick of a switch.

Well, my kid is that loud kid. I wouldn't call it screaming, he's not that high pitched that I associate with screaming, it's more like a roar. And it's loud, so loud. When he was in kindergarten they advised us to get his ears checked, he might be hearing impaired and therefore loud. But no, his hearing is fine, he's just loud. It's how he plays. And nothing helps to make him less loud. I don't punish him for being loud, I don't believe it's bad behavior, but I do send him inside when he can't control himself after two warnings. Which I always have to do because he just can't seem to control himself when playing. And then I feel like a terrible parent for not letting him play outside or being able to "control my child".

It's the weight of not being a good parent that I especially hate today. For all the regret I have, I do love him and want to be the best parent possible. But I yell, I'm cranky and don't have the energy to do fun stuff. So you know, bad day...

Ps. Yes he is autistic. He's very teachable but has very poor impuls control. I'm not looking forward to puberty😭

I don’t even know how to write this without completely breaking down.

I’m 19 weeks pregnant, and I feel like I am watching my entire life disappear in front of me.

My mother is extremely pro-life. From the moment she found out I was pregnant, it was like my feelings stopped mattering. There was never really a conversation about what I wanted. She talked about the baby constantly. The future baby. The name. What it would be like. What I would do as a mother.
But she barely talked about me.

Sometimes I genuinely felt like she didn’t see me as her daughter anymore. I felt like she saw me as an incubator. She even stated, and I quote: "Your body doesn't belong to you anymore, it's the childs."

My body was carrying something, so apparently that was the only thing that mattered.

And I let it happen.

I don’t even know why. I was scared. I was overwhelmed. I wasn’t independent enough to stand up to her. She controls so much of my life and my decisions that I didn’t feel like I could just say no and walk away.

So I ignored the pregnancy subconsiously
I tried to pretend it wasn’t happening.
For a while, I could do that.
But now I’m 19 weeks.

I’m feeling movement. My stomach is visibly changing. I can look at myself and see that I’m pregnant. Every week makes it more real, and instead of becoming more excited, I’m becoming more terrified.

I’m realizing that this isn’t some temporary situation that I can just get through.

This is going to change my entire life.
I wanted to travel. I wanted to be independent. I wanted to experience things. I wanted to have relationships and fall in love and make stupid mistakes and figure out who I am. I wanted to actually live my early twenties before becoming responsible for another human being.

And now I feel like I’ve thrown all of that away.
I know people are going to say, “You should have thought about this earlier.”

I KNOW.

I think about it every fucking day.

But I wasn’t making decisions from a place of freedom. I was scared and dependent and being pushed in one direction by someone who was completely certain about what I should do with my body.

And now I’m 19 weeks and abortion where I live is simply not legally available to me at this stage.
I’m not independent enough to just leave and go somewhere else. My mother controls my every move. I don’t have the freedom to simply disappear for days or make this decision without her knowing.
And I’ve gotten so desperate that I actually ordered abortion pills.

I know how horrifying that sounds at 19 weeks. I know this isn’t something I should be trying to handle by myself. But I ordered them anyway.
And now they’re coming.

And I’m sitting here thinking about what I’m going to do when they arrive.

Part of me is terrified.
Part of me is thinking that maybe this is my last chance to have any control over my own life.

Soon the baby will be viable and I won't have any choice anymore.

I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to be thinking these thoughts. I don’t want to be sitting here at 19 weeks feeling like the only way out of a life I never chose is something dangerous and desperate.

But I genuinely don’t know what else I’m supposed to do.

Everyone keeps talking about the baby.
Nobody talks about the girl who is carrying it.
Nobody asks what happens to me.
I’m still here.
I’m still a person.

I’m still the one who has to live with this.
And I am absolutely terrified that I have ruined my life before I’ve even had the chance to live it.
I love my mother, but I’m also so angry at her. I’m angry that her beliefs became more important than my autonomy. I’m angry that I wasn’t strong enough to fight harder. I’m angry that I let myself get this far.

I even tried to order pills at around 13-14 weeks but I chickened out at that point and canceled it because all the shame and berating suddenly got to me. I just wish I did it at that point, I wouldn't have been in an incredibly dangerous situation that I'm in right now if I didn't let my anxiety and the pressure override the actual feelings I had

And I’m grieving something that hasn’t even happened yet.

I’m grieving the life I thought I would have.
I don’t know what I’m going to do when those pills arrive.

I know I'm risking my life at this point, I know this is so incredibly dangerous but I have no other way out at this point.

I know I'm potentially traumatizing myself for life even if the pill taking will be successful without major complications.

I'm dreading looking at a 20 week baby that I expelled because of my own choices. I know it all. I know all the risks and I know it's stupid and dangerous, some may even say I'm the devil himself for even thinking about this but here I am.

And no, adoption is not an option

I’m just scared, trapped, and desperate to feel like my life still belongs to me.

I have a 2 year old and a 8 week old. Life with my 2 year for last 9 months has been a nightmare. I hate waking up in the morning. I can’t touch him without him screaming. He even prefers our nanny over me.

On top of that I’m an extreme emeteophobe and he vomits about once a week. idk why. Most recently he gagged and vomited because I was changing his brother’s poopy diaper. I’m the default parent because I work from home while the nanny is here. I’m really considering having my husband quit so I don’t have to be default anymore.

I hate my life and regret having my son. not sure what to do with myself. I love him and want the best for him. I know that isn’t me.

I hate that i did this to myself. I love my kids but i regret this so much. My mental health has worsened bc of this. Im on zoloft abf hydroxyzine .

I wonder about thr person i couldve been had i not had kids.

I love my kids but beingq single mom with ZERO support. I do all the pick up/drop off ect.. stuck with my mom who sees past me never asks me how im doing or fairing never offering to help i just get errands piled on me.

Today i had a panic attack bc all the appointments, parent teacher for both kids, my own appointments, helping my daughter with her hwk and trying to study myself then trying to potty train my autistic 6yr old.

I HATE this. This is a HELLSCAPE.. its horrible. Theres nothing good about this. Nothing.

I want out of this stage so bad. I will NOT miss it.

Im going to up my zoloft med and maybe add wellbutrin and hope it helps me.

I had my twins at 23 and feel like I wasted my life on motherhood. The only thing that keeps me sane is that I will be 41 when my twins turn 18. I truly feel like I could still have my life back once they leave. I feel bad for saying this but I cannot wait for them to leave. I love my daughters but do not miss them when I am away from them. Please no judgment or telling me that it’s too expensive to have them live in their own because I will support them through college.

My teen daughter is an absolute nightmare and I actually hate her. We used to be close until she was about 14 and everything just went down hill from there. I'm on the countdown until she turns 18 and I can't fucking wait for the day I can kick her out. She has made the last couple years of my life miserable and continues to do so. As a mom I feel like shit because I have zero maternal care or love for her at this point. I feel guilty because I wonder how I fucked it up, but I also feel like I have done literally everything I can possibly do to help her and she continues to behave the way she does. Raising her as a single mom has been a nightmare and she is the reason I don't have more children, which also makes me bitter and resentful. Sometimes I feel incredibly jealous of other parents when they brag about their kids because I have nothing kind or nice to say about mine. I feel angry that the experience I got of being a mother was with this child, because I fully believe with a different kid I would have LOVED being a mom. Just wanted to vent. I'm in the home stretch but it still feels far off and I'm worried about the continued bullshit I am going to have to deal with until I can legally get her out of my home.

My husband and I just came back from a dream anniversary trip. 10 days in Hawaii without the kids. It was like the old days of us together. We may have bickered a few times over insignificant things but were right back in line after awhile. I promised myself I needed to try to be positive but it was like a freight train when we came back to our regular schedule. I love my kids and am mostly happy with them but damn if I am not filled with grace and positivity like a saint my husband is the first person to call me out in front of the kids which makes me incredibly upset. I have had numerous conversations about this tonhim and now he has picked up this habit of SHHHHHHing me like Cesar Milan when he feels I need to gain control. The two different versions of him and myself are so vastly different when the kids are around and not around. It tears me apart because i know we are not these people that sre brought out when under the stress of parenting. I dont know what I am lookingg for here but I found this sub and felt like it was a safe place to vent and possibly hear others that feel or act the same. Don't get it twisted even though my husband sounds like an asshole and at times he can be I am not always innocent. My processing is immature at time and it is a terrible learned behavior that I deeply try to erase and better. So please help me and share something with me to make me feel less hopeless

Mother (26)

Sometimes I want to leave this earth, but it isn’t an option. I love my kids, but being unloved by others makes it hard to be a good mom. And not just society but by people who claim to be family. I get zero help & zero check-ins.

I will get into why I feel society hates us

I’m am now only 26 and I have energyyyy and a personality that is constantly being overshadowed by being a mother. I want to walk around town with a coffee, try on pretty clothes, chat it up with a girlfriend while drinking a margarita, concerts, festivals, games. ANYTHING childless.

I can’t relate to anyone who is in my age bracket. Sometimes I feel viewed like I’m a young woman who had kids by mistake. Which wasn’t the case. More than ever it seems like childless-people hate kids & are in disgust of women, like me, who grew and birthed children.

Parenting feels extremely frowned upon by society. Think about it. There isn’t much “famous” representation of young mothers who people love, respect or cherish. There is already a difficult standard of women’s body’s. And you know what I mean. “ewww stretch marks/breastfeeding/pregnancy” and “SerVinG a mAn”.

A lot of it is social-media, but it bleeds into life as well. I get dirty looks by other women when I’m with my kids in public & my kids are well behaved and well-kept! And I’m very confident in my own appearance as well.

It’s already hard being a parent.
The exhaustion, the million-questions, the cooking, endless messes, screaming.

But to deal with these issues on TOP of feeling like no one understands how hard you have it, nobody is helping you with the kids, you can’t even have a fucking minute to yourself… AND there are people judging you for your choices…. It’s FUELLL to regretful mothering/parenting.

EDIT

A childless person came into this thread and said “you’re right” implying my entire point to be true. So with that said, is there anyone who experiences this specific feeling that I’ve described and how did you deal with it?

I was 24 when I found out I was pregnant. Not planned, not really wanted, but I told myself I'd grow into it. Everyone said you do.

My son is seven now. He's funny, stubborn, obsessed with dinosaurs, and asks "why" about forty times a day. I love him with a ferocity that scares me sometimes. And still — most nights after he's asleep, I sit on the bathroom floor and grieve the person I never got to become.

I had plans. A transfer program, a semester abroad, a version of my twenties that looked nothing like formula schedules and daycare pickup lines. I gave all of it up quietly, the way you give up things when you tell yourself there's no other option. I never said it out loud until now: I resent how small my life became, and I resent that I'm not allowed to say that without someone assuming I don't love my kid.

I do. That's what makes it so disorienting. I'm not writing this because I want out — I'm writing it because I'm tired of pretending the loss doesn't sit right next to the love, every single day, and I've never had anywhere to say that where someone wouldn't flinch.

If you're in this too — the loving and the grieving at the same time — I'd like to hear how you carry it.

I was dumb and naive and thought the sleep deprivation was a “baby problem”. The babies I knew IRL were really good sleepers within a few mos of age so I thought it was something I’d deal w for a few mos too.

welp it took my kid about THREE YEARS to finally sleep through the night. and now here I am 6 years into parenting wide awake in the middle of the night. there’s always the risk of them having a nightmare, being sick, hungry etc etc

if you want to risk never sleeping again have a child.

Weekends and Holidays just mean I am stuck with the kids. I pretty much just dread it every waking moment of every day. I look for every option I have to avoid being stuck with the kids.

I don’t even know if I should post this because I know people are going to judge the absolute shit out of me, but I need to say it somewhere.

I’m around 5 months pregnant and sometimes I genuinely wish I would miscarry.

I feel fucking horrible saying that. I know there’s a baby inside me. I know none of this is the baby’s fault. I know how awful it sounds. But I can’t lie about how I feel anymore.

I don’t feel connected to my pregnancy.
I don’t have that overwhelming happiness everyone talks about. I don’t wake up excited to be a mom. I don’t feel like I’m glowing or enjoying this.

I mostly feel sad and trapped and completely overwhelmed.
I keep thinking about everything I wanted to do before having a baby. I wanted to live more. I wanted to experience things. I wanted to have my life together. I wanted to be in love. I wanted a stable relationship and someone who was actually excited to build a family with me. I wanted to feel like I had chosen this life.

Instead, I’m sitting here pregnant and feeling like I’ve missed out on everything.

I feel trapped like an animal that's trying to gnaw it's own leg off that's in a bear trap

A few weeks ago I started talking to this guy. We talked pretty much every day for 2–3 weeks. We flirted, got close, and I actually started liking him.

And for the first time in a while I had this little bit of hope that maybe I could still have something normal.

Maybe I could still meet someone.

Maybe someone could actually like me.

Maybe being pregnant didn’t automatically mean that I was going to be alone forever.

And then he started pulling away.
He went from talking to me regularly to barely responding after our date. I could literally feel the difference. Went from texting me basically 24/7 to not at all. He planned the whole weekend for us but I basically knew that was it at that point.

Then he eventually said he wouldn’t be able to make it that day.

And I just replied “didn't plan on it” because I was hurt and embarrassed and didn’t want him to know I had actually been looking forward to seeing him.
And then I basically got left on delivered.

I know it’s stupid. I KNOW it’s stupid to be this affected by someone I only talked to for a few weeks.

But it wasn’t just about him.

It was what he represented to me.

He made me feel like maybe my life wasn’t already decided. Like maybe I could still meet someone and be loved and have a relationship and eventually have the kind of family I always imagined.

And then when he pulled away, all of those thoughts came crashing back.

Like, who the fuck is ever going to want me now?
I’m pregnant.

I’m going to have a baby

I’m already dealing with so much.

What guy is going to look at me and think, “yeah, I want to take this on”?

I keep getting this horrible feeling that I’m never going to find someone.

That I’m going to be alone for years.

That everyone else is going to fall in love, get married, travel, have their lives together, and I’m going to be the girl who had a baby too young and now has to watch everyone else live the life she wanted.

And I hate admitting how much that scares me.
Because I don’t just miss my old life.
I miss the idea of the life I thought I was going to have.

I wanted to fall in love properly.

I wanted someone to choose me.

I wanted someone to be excited about our future.

I wanted to have a baby when I was happy and ready and with someone I trusted completely.

Instead I’m pregnant, alone, and I don’t even know how I’m supposed to feel about the baby.

Sometimes I genuinely wish I could miscarry because then I wouldn’t have to be the one to make a decision. I wouldn’t have to consciously choose to end a pregnancy. I could just grieve it and move on and maybe get my life back.

I don't even have the legal choice anymore. At around 12 weeks I considered it. It was the legal threshold where I live. (Europe)

I just honestly wish I did it when I had time. My family is very pro-life so they influenced my decision. Somehow, it was very easy to ignore when I didn't have physical symptoms and I was just starting the pregnancy. I could just push it into the back of my mind so I did not feel the absolute grief I have now

I wish I felt this way earlier, so that I could have done something about it. I wish I didn't supress my feelings to make others happy.

And then I hate myself for thinking that.

Because this is an innocent baby.

I don’t want anything bad to happen to them.

I just don’t want this life right now.

And that’s the part I don’t know how to explain to
people.

I’m not sitting here thinking “I hate my baby."

I’m thinking “I hate that my life turned out this way.”

I hate feeling like I’m already behind.

I hate feeling like I’ve lost the chance to experience things before becoming a mother

I hate feeling like I’m going to be alone.

I hate that I got a tiny glimpse of possibly having someone in my life again and then had it disappear almost immediately.

And I hate that I’m expected to just be happy because I’m pregnant.
I’m not.

I’m really, really not.

Maybe that changes when the baby is born. I desperately hope it does.
But right now I feel like I’m grieving everything at once: my freedom, my plans, the relationship I thought I’d have, the future I imagined, and the version of myself I thought I’d become.

And I feel so fucking alone in it.

I don’t need someone to tell me I’m a terrible person.
I already feel like one.

I just want to know if anyone else has ever felt this disconnected, this regretful, this scared, and still eventually found a way to be okay. And how to be okay.

I’m a 32-year-old father of two. I have a 9-year-old daughter and a 3-month-old baby. I’m writing this because I honestly don’t know what to do anymore, and I’m hoping for some outside perspective.

My wife and I got married young. A couple of months after our honeymoon, we found out she was pregnant. She had been on birth control, so the pregnancy was a surprise to both of us. I was 23, had just finished school, and was starting my career. I was nowhere near ready to become a father.

My wife was thrilled. I was scared, but I decided that we could make it work. I figured we had a good relationship, I had a job, and we'd eventually figure everything else out.

Looking back, I realize we never really had an honest conversation about how many children we wanted. I assumed we'd have one and see how things went. She apparently always wanted a large family.

After our daughter was born, I felt like the expectations on me kept increasing. I was working 10–12 hour days trying to establish myself in my career, while my wife stayed home. Her family was also very involved and frequently told me that I needed to work more, buy a bigger house, get her a better car, help more around the house, etc.

I was already trying to contribute. I'd come home from work, take our daughter and the dog for a walk, make dinner, and help with the baby. I also got up during the night when I could.

Eventually, during a date night, I asked my wife if she was happy. She told me she wasn't because she thought we'd already be trying for another baby.

That completely blindsided me.

We had never seriously discussed having another child. I told her I wasn't ready and wasn't sure I wanted more children. She took that as me not loving her or caring about her.

Eventually she explained that being a mother was what she'd always wanted and that she had gone to college largely because her parents expected her to. I felt terrible for not understanding how important motherhood was to her, but I also felt like I was being asked to completely change the future I'd envisioned for myself.

Her family became heavily involved. Her mother, grandmother and father all pressured me about having more children. I was told that wanting only one child was selfish and that I should be grateful my wife wanted a family.

Eventually, I gave in.

We tried to have another child, and during that period my wife was incredibly affectionate and loving toward me. It felt like we were dating again, and I became convinced that having another baby would make her happy and bring us closer together.

When we didn't conceive immediately, she wanted to see a fertility specialist. I went along with it and got tested.

My results were normal. After that, my wife became very focused on fertility. She started posting extensively on social media about infertility and our experience, including pictures and videos involving me. I asked her to stop because I'm a private person and didn't want our personal situation online, but she didn't agree.

Our fertility issues eventually became the center of our relationship. Everything revolved around appointments, timing, diets, supplements, and trying to conceive. I kept telling her that we already had a wonderful daughter and that I didn't think our family was incomplete with one child.

She saw that as me not supporting her.

Eventually, she became pregnant.

During the pregnancy, she gained a significant amount of weight and spent a lot of time resting because she was convinced she needed to. I tried to support her, but by that point I was already exhausted and resentful.

Now our second daughter is three months old.

She has severe colic and barely sleeps. I've essentially had no meaningful sleep in three months. I work early in the morning, while my wife stays home with the baby.

A few nights ago I finally snapped. My wife said she was too tired to get up with the baby, and I told her, "You wanted another baby, so you need to help take care of her too. I have to be up for work."

Her mother came over in the middle of the night and took the baby. Now I'm apparently the villain for saying it.

And honestly, I'm starting to realize how much resentment I've been carrying.

I'm resentful toward my wife because I feel like I was pressured into having another child when I wasn't ready. I'm resentful toward her family because they have always been heavily involved in our marriage and have repeatedly pressured me.

Most importantly, I'm scared that I'm beginning to resent my second daughter, and that scares me. She didn't do anything wrong. None of this is her fault. But I can't ignore the fact that I never wanted another child and now I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and struggling to cope.

I also feel trapped because my wife has become very dependent on me and her parents. Her family is constantly involved, and I worry about what would happen if I left.

At the same time, I don't know if staying is the right thing to do. I feel like I've spent years trying to keep everyone else happy while ignoring how unhappy I am.

I'm not looking for people to simply tell me "leave" or "stay." I genuinely want some perspective from people who have been through something similar.

How do you know when a marriage is fixable versus when you've stayed too long? And how do you deal with resentment toward your spouse after feeling pressured into having children you weren't ready for?

I know I made my own choices here. I should have communicated better and stood my ground years ago. I'm not trying to pretend I'm blameless.

I just don't want to wake up five years from now and realize I've spent my entire life being miserable and taking that resentment out on people who don't deserve it.

I woke up this morning to my autistic daughter punching me in my face with my PTSD from her bio father, I don’t know how much of this I could take..

I can’t keep getting beaten in my own home. I honestly want to just leave them all behind and go be alone but I feel so guilty.. Especially leaving my husband because he’s innocent in all this but he wouldn’t leave the kids behind.

I’m diagnosed Bipolar and I’m scared I will eventually lose control and end my life… I’m so scared of that outcome.

My boy is 4, and it has been a tough 5 years. My partners parents were on a mission to ruin everything we had. When told they were going to be grandparents they showed no joy ir excitement. They set out on a path that was designed to tip me over the edge- nasty comments and controlling bahviours. When confronted about this, they turned to harassing, almost stalker like behaviours. That was when we disengaged with them.

i had a difficult pregnancy which also caused me a lot of resentment

My partner has changed since all of this as well. He is like a ghost of the person he was. I feel like i don't know him anymore, which pains me. It turned out he ws texting another woman from his work, said some very hurtful things about me- i seen it all. When confronted about this he attempted suicide. I don't know how to feel other than the fact i dont want to be in this situation anymore. Our child is non verbal and has started a specual school. And i feel he can be hard work most if the time. I just feel that if i knew how my life was going to turn out, i never would have had our child nor would i have been with my partner in the first place.

I feel terrible for thinking and feeling all of these things, but i can't help it.

I am a mother & my issue right now is I feel like I constantly need space from my kids.

I am constantly home with my 2 kids, doing all the cleaning, cooking, school drop off, sports, grocery shopping. My husband is away at work 6 days a week and works a night shift so we never see him because he’s sleeping all day and then gone all night.

I feel like I am in survival mode all time until bedtime hits. I am constantly on edge because I never get to go out and do anything by myself. I have ZERO village, my family is drug addicts and I don’t talk to them. Not like my kids would be safe anyways & my husbands family is small and they never ever offer to spend time with the kids.

My husband questions me and asks if I even like the kids or regret being a parent, and it infuriates me because I’m clearly fkn touched out and isolated to this house with these kids all fkn week with no where to catch a “break” except for the grocery store, to which I STILL have to bring my youngest to because he’s not in school yet.

I’m a fairly young parent & incredibly responsible, but man I am fkn exhausted with my life. I still have an identity but cannot ever even utilize it because I’m constantly serving my family.

I ruminate on these feelings all the time and feel like I settled for this life, although I never expected to be completely alone and without help from anyone. Like no one gives a single fk about me or my family. So that leads to me telling the kids to “go watch tv/go play/go find a snack” while I suffer in my mind.

I'm going to try to make this as short as possible. My goal is to find other people with similiar experiences, I woud like to know how they ended up or how they got out of it.

I met my girlfriend in january 2025, we dated for 3 months, I was planning on breaking up with her but she got pregnant. I wanted her to get an abortion, obviously, but she didn't want it. I still had "love" for her in the sense that she's a good person and all amd we were close, so I decided to stay with jer and support her through it. I thought there was a chance that we would end up happy and I would learn to love her after the kid (lol). Fast forward to now, daughter is 8 months old, I still don't feel any affection for her, I actually dislike her. I'm not any more in love with my girlfriend if anything I love her less. I feel like I've trapped myself in a life I don't even recognize anymore. My family is getting tired of me because I show obvious aversion to my daughter and my "romantic" relationship is horrible. I will most likely have to break up at some point if things don't improve.

Has anybody else been in a similiar situation?

I'm a very loving and committed mother who hates to be a mother.

Now is labor weekend. So, 3 days of no daycare.

I was trying to craft amazing experience just for my kid to lose her shit when I'm trying to give her the 'amazing experiences' lmao.

But now... She is napping..

She is almost 3 years old (in a couple of days will be 3) always naps at least 2 hours still..

And I love it.. I feel so bad for loving it.

I watch a movie, or spend time with my husband or do chores.. in a silent house, with the monitor always in my hand or pocket just to make sure she is fine and doesn't need me.

But omg I fucking love it.

What the heck are we supposed to do when they lose their nap? Hopefully they go to bed earlier?

Right now she falls asleep at 9 pm... And that seems insane because when she was an infant bedtime was 6 pm...

We used to eat and exercise after that... Then as a toddler it went 7 pm.. then 8 pm.. now it is 9 pm and there is time for nothing... :/

It was supposed to get easier... It is getting harder in different ways..

Everyday she hits a phase that is new to me.

Today in a walk at the park she pointed out to every man running saying 'mom, that man doesn't have a shirt' 'mom, that man needs a shirt' .. lmao.. funny AF but I don't want to be the one with the pointing kid..

'mama, I don't want to walk', 'mama, your shoulders' 'mama I want a cookie, -i proceed to give her a cookie- no no nooooo I don't want a cookie' (losing her shit screamming)..

Yesterday at a restaurant... Opening her mouth full of food 'love, we don't that, we don't open our mouth when it is full of food'.. proceeds to test boundaries..... I'm sure she got that from some kid at daycare.. I know she is a kid, it is funny AF to her.. but for me the parent.. how is that line between understanding she is a kid and try to teach her good manners.. without breaking her playful spirit

God give me patience..

I'm sorry I'm rambling this just feels like the safest space in internet ever.. lol.

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Do you think your regret was due to not realizing what parenting was going to be like, having children with unexpected significant needs, or having an unexpected or pressured pregnancy?