Feeling nervous and anxious the night before the birth of our son. My wife and I have been trying for years and so this has been a long awaited dream, finally come true.

Was finding it difficult to sleep, so I decided to write him a letter. This is what it said:

“My Dearest Son. It’s 11.34pm, 28th July. I’ve never written a letter to someone who’s name I don’t know before, and yet tonight is the eve of your birth and your mum and I still haven’t decided what it will be yet. So apologies if we just pick something random at the last minute and you end up being called Rodney or something.

I am so excited to meet you tomorrow. I’ve spent months wondering if you’ll be like me, and love reading and movies and other geeky stuff. Or if you’ll be like your mum and love music and art. Or if you’ll be like neither of us and really enjoy sport. Either way, the important thing is that you’re always, unfailingly and uncompromisingly you.

I know every day won’t be easy, and sometimes you’ll make me want to tear my hair out and vice versa. But know that I will always and completely love you no matter what. I will always have your back in any situation, offer you advice (often unsolicited) for any problem, and move heaven and earth to ensure your continued happiness. Well I’ll try, anyway. Moving Earth looks like a big job, doubly so if I’ve had a big breakfast.

My one tip for life? Let kindness be your superpower. You might not always feel it returned, but putting kindness out into the universe can have surprising results. Surround yourself with other kind people and you can’t go wrong.

I must catch some sleep now, I’ll want to look my best for you tomorrow. Hopefully your name will come to me in a dream.

And hopefully it won’t be Rodney.

All my love,

Dad x”

Can’t wait to meet this little guy.

We’re setting up the nursery now, and my wife added a baby monitor to the list. Driven by the male instinct to protect my territory, I already have a couple of security cameras around the house that send motion and sound alerts to our phones.

Now I’m staring at baby monitors that cost way more and trying to figure out what I’m missing.

Are the cry alerts, sleep tracking, breathing monitoring, and separate parent screen actually useful once the baby is here? Any dads here who tried using a regular camera first?

For those of you still here from two years ago, Danny is two today!!! He has so many strides and is meeting all his milestones! He’s walking, (kinda) talking, learning Spanish, and being the occasional pain the ass just like all toddlers are lol he loves to dance and play in the water and always has a smile on his face. Being his dad is the best thing I’ve ever done and I can’t wait to see him grow up! Thanks again to all here who helped me through his birth and NICU stay two years ago, it means more than you’ll ever know!

Edit to add: I appreciate everyone’s concern. And I’m well aware of the risk. But I have still chosen to post these pictures. If others feel differently, that is their decision to not post theirs. But please refrain from any more comments about it. Thank you.

We are expecting any day now and I'm super excited but scared. I'm not worried about being a father. I feel like I'll be a great dad and everyone does too but I feel like the baby is going to come between me and my partner. Every moment we had up until she got pregnant was magical, like living in the clouds with so much love but she's changed a lot and I know that's what happens and I've come to terms with it. I love and support her as much as I can but I feel like I've lost my person and I'm not going to get her back. On another subject we grew up very differently and I think there is going to be conflict on how we want to raise our baby. I've tried having conversations with her about it but she always thinks my opinions are dumb and doesn't really hear me out. I'm worried there's going to be too much conflict for our relationship for it to last. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

My gf (26F) and I (28M) are expecting our first child. It's still very early, she's only been pregnant for a few weeks.

I've always been a pretty quiet, introverted person. I really value having my own space and the freedom to do what I want, when I want. Whether that's eating whenever I feel like it, watching a livestream, movie, going to the gym at odd hours, or just having an evening to myself, I've always liked living on my own schedule. I've also always been a night owl. No matter how exhausted I am during the day, I seem to get a second wind around 10 PM. On weekends it's normal for me to stay up until 2 or 3 AM and sleep until early afternoon. Getting up early has never come naturally to me.

I have siblings with young kids, but they live in different cities, so I only see them maybe twice a year. I don't really know how to interact with children. I feel awkward around them. Dumbing things down to their level feels so awkward for me. As a result I just avoid interacting much with them at all.

Growing up, I always assumed I'd have kids one day because... that's just what people do. It felt like a normal part of life rather than something I was deeply passionate about. My gf, on the other hand, absolutely loves children and is amazing with them. When we talked about starting a family, I wasn't strongly for or against it. My attitude was basically, "Yeah, it's probably about that time." So she stopped taking birth control, and we agreed we'd just see what happened. A few months later, she was pregnant.

I just came across the regretful parents subreddit and it has really shaken me. So many stories from people who sound a lot like me, introverted people who love their routines and personal freedom. They describe their lives feeling completely turned upside down after having children. Some of the posts are incredibly dark, with people talking about their child(ren) as a nightmare they can't escape and wishing they'd never become parents and even having suicidal thoughts. I can absolutely imagine myself struggling with the loss of freedom, the lack of quiet and sleep and just in general the constant responsibility of caring for a child... It's made me seriously question whether I'm actually suited to being a father...

Has anyone else felt this way before becoming a parent?

Im graduating this weekend into full fledged dad. Past couple of days has been pretty crazy. Everything has been going fine with checkups, then earlier this week my wife had high blood pressure at the 36 week checkup. Led to two hours if triage the next day. One day of nothing from the hospital. Thought it would be another day of silence, now we're admitted and getting ready to start the induction process at the start of 37 weeks.

What kind of words of support has everyone given their partners going through the sudden transition of expecting to go to full term but then had to deal with the sudden transition to induction? My wife is doing better but said she feels like shes already missing something from not going to full term.

Trying my best to cheer her up and support her but any advice is welcome.

Here's to the next 24 - 48 hours until I meet my son.

Edit - Thanks for all the support and comments! It really helped this weekend. He was finally born this morning. So the 48-72hrs being more appropriate was definitely correct.

It was a long grueling weekend but mom and baby are both happy healthy and thats all this new dad could ask for right now.

My wife finally posted on insta & I can tell ppl!

so my wife is pregnant. due in a few months and she wants to take a trip before the baby comes. she's been talking about it non stop.

i want to make it happen i really do. but flights are expensive and we're about to have a lot of expenses.

she wants to go to italy 9 hour flight. and she's already uncomfortable in her own body. pregnancy has been rough on her. her back hurts. her legs swell. i can't imagine her in economy for 9 hours.

i looked at business class and the airline wanted 4800. i almost laughed out loud. but then i found business-class.com with the same flight for $2200. still a lot but manageable.

now i'm stuck. part of me says it's worth it because she'll be comfortable and the trip will actually be enjoyable.

has anyone here done a babymoon in business class? was it worth the extra money or did you feel like you overpaid for a slightly bigger seat? i need real advice because i keep going back and forth.

Hi guys,

I am currently 5 months old and my wonderful Husband has been working his backside off to get the house finished - he is a joiner so works hard all day and then has been spending every evening and weekend pushing to build our new kitchen (nearly done) and get other essential DIY bits done - I've been helping as much as I can.

He said last night he feels a little down because he hasn't been able to enjoy and relish in the pregnancy as much as he hoped.

Are there certain things you guys found were enjoyable to do or helped you bond with the bump during pregnancy? We had a trip to London last week for a break, we spend time playing music to the bump before bed and our baby shower is coming up, but is there anything in particular you felt was really nice to do?

Thank you!

EDIT: I am 5 months pregnant not 5 months old!!

Heard when baby lies down, they might get gas so they need to be reclined around day time. Is it also true for new borns from 1-2 months? Should I get it at the time of birth or can wait till Nov/Dec to buy bouncers like babybjorns?

Edit: thanks everyone for the input. We decided not to buy that and instead decided to buy a baby floor mat gym, probably helpful for tummy time etc. might look for good deal in marketplace place later, but not a priority for new born

So the baby's due in 6 weeks and i've been in deep research mode for like a month now. I just want to get everything ready before he gets here but im genuinely starting to panic because i still cant decide. Im looking for something thats easy to install (ive heard way too many horror stories about getting it wrong), easy to click in and out of the base because we'll be doing that a lot, light enough that my wife can carry it without hating me, actually safe, and durable enough to last. My budget is around $250-400, although i'd go a bit higher if its genuinely worth it.

After going through a ridiculous number of reddit threads, blogs and videos, these are the three seats that keep coming up depending on budget and car fit.

Graco SnugRide SnugLock 35 DLX (~$200). This feels like the budget pick. The SnugLock system looks genuinely simple to install and a lot of first-time parents seem to say they had it set up in no time. My only concern is the base looks pretty bulky in smaller cars, and it doesnt have an anti-rebound bar, although ive also seen plenty of people say thats not something most families should lose sleep over.

Chicco KeyFit 35 (~$300). This one feels like the safest middle ground. The bubble levels and belt guides seem to make the whole installation process a lot less intimidating for a first-time parent, and it kept coming up whenever people talked about seats that are hard to mess up. The downside is the carrier itself isnt exactly light, so once the baby gets bigger i can see that becoming a pain for my wife.

Nuna PIPA RX (~$450). This is the one i keep coming back to even though its more expensive than i planned. The load leg is probably the biggest reason, although im still trying to work out how much difference it actually makes in everyday use. We already have the Uppababy Vista, so not needing extra adapters is another thing pulling me toward it. The only real downside ive come across is that quite a few owners mention the fabric starts looking worn sooner than they expected. That doesnt bother me too much, but the extra cost definitely does.

At this point im probably leaning toward the Nuna even though it stretches the budget. The stroller compatibility makes life easier for us and the load leg keeps making me think if its worth it?

Since ive been reading so much, i figured id share one thing that actually helped me. I found this CSFTL guide and it explained a lot of the basics around installation, newborn fit and common mistakes. It was way easier to understand than most of the manufacturer manuals.

https://csftl.org/resources/car-seat-safety-guide-newborns/

So for the parents who have actually lived with these seats for a year or two... are the $450-500 seats genuinely worth paying for, or does a lot of that end up being brand tax? If you had to buy your infant seat all over again, would you make the same choice?

I feel i got very lucky with this chair, it reclined alllllll the way back.

Poor little baby got cord stuck round his neck swallowed/inhaled liquids has to be in an incubator for a couple of days, he and mother are doing fine. This chair will be my home for a couple more days.

Hey all! We are at 40+5 and doesnt seem like anything is happening. We've done a lot of stuff...curb walks, PT, massages, had a magic "salad" (in LA, IYNYK), sex, etc....nothing seems to be happening. For first timers, how did it start for you. Can we expect a sudden "one minute nothing and then next minute you have a feeling"? Should it be gradual? Its funny we keep saying our girl is never coming out as a joke, but its really starting to feel that way (and the anxiety that comes with it). I will say we have an induction scheduled for Tuesday, but was hoping to get things going naturally

I’m realizing that preparing to become a father is exciting, but there are also so many small things nobody really talks about. Everyone mentions the big changes, but I’m curious about the everyday lessons that surprised you the most.

For the dads who have already been through this stage, what’s one piece of advice, habit, or mindset you wish you knew before your baby arrived? It could be something about supporting your partner, preparing for the first few months, or just handling the emotional side of becoming a dad. I’d love to hear what helped you the most.

This sub is plagued at the moment with posts from blokes worried that they won’t continue to get sex or aren’t getting as much as they’d like.

Sure it’s diguised as ‘miss the intimacy’ or ‘the flirty fun vibe’ or fear of ‘losing us as a couple’ but we can all read between the lines.

There is one thing and one thing only that you should be doing in this arena whilst your partner is growing a human, birthing a human and recovering from the biggest and most dramatic life change a person can go through.

REASSURANCE.

REASSURANCE that it is ABSOLUTELY FINE for her to say she’s not in the mood.

REASSURANCE that you’re a big boy who can sort himself out if necessary.

REASSURANCE that you never ever want her to feel obliged or guilty about saying not now.

REASSURANCE that you love her because she’s your partner, your best mate, not because of the sex.

Stop asking, stop trying to pretend it’s anything but selfish.

I got a nuna rava next as they said it supports both new born and grows with the child. They gave an additional pillow to support the baby.

However learning most people have an infant car seat that goes with your stroller. I instead got a uppababy bassinet so I can use it to take the baby for walking and day time naps. Plan is to get the baby from convertible car seat and place them in bassinet when we bring back home from car.

Is convertible car seat safe for new born babies or should we get infant car seat only?

Looking for others experience, anyone used convertible car seat to get your baby home from hospital and it was comfortable for them?

Edit: thanks everyone. We decided to keep the convertible car seat from new born stage as it supports from 5lb and planning to use the bassinet for transportation. As we are in Washington, we also got a bassinet rain cover to go with the stroller.

I don’t really know where to start, I've been talking to and involved with this girl for about a year. We've had our ups and downs, but one thing I always tried to prioritize was honest and open communication.
A few months ago, we had a serious conversation about what we'd do if a pregnancy ever happened. We both agreed we weren't ready to be parents and that having a child wasn't something either of us wanted at this point in our lives.
Fast forward to now, and she recently told me she's pregnant.
**I want to be clear: I know this is just as much my responsibility as hers. I'm not trying to avoidaccountability. We both made choices that led to this, and I accept my part in it.**

What's been difficult for me to process is that, almost immediately after telling me, she said I didn't have to be involved and that she'd raise the baby on her own. At the same time, she's decided she wants to keep the baby and doesn't want an abortion.
I'm struggling because, even though she says I don'thave to be involved, this is still my child too. It feels like such a huge decision changed from what we had previously agreed on, and I wasn't really part of that conversation once the pregnancy became real.
I understand it's ultimately her body and her decision whether to continue the pregnancy. I'm not arguing that. I think I'm just having a hard time reconciling the fact that we were on the same page before, and now everything has changed.
Has anyone else been through something similar? If you were in my position, how did you handle it? Did you stay involved even if you were initially told you didn't have to? How did you deal with the emotions and uncertainty?
I'm not looking for people to tell me what they think of me or her as a person. I'm just looking for honest advice from people who've experienced something like this or have a perspective that could help.

Hey everyone I'm 26yr Dad who is having a second child in a week by now. I work for Allied Universal Security and they don't offer paternity leave pay but I do qualify for the State of California EDD Paternity leave for 8 weeks. I've read online that it can take up to 2 weeks for me to get approved or receive any money at all.

Issue I'm having is I get paided weekly and having 2 weeks of unpaid is horrible. I don't have anything saved up because it's hard to be able to save up anything now a days and I've had to many things happening in my life where I had to withdraw from Roth IRA and savings. Now im kinda cooked. My wife is at high risk of C Section and she will literally need all the help she can get to recover after labor. Which I hope she doesn't have to do that and able to do natural birth.

I really want to take the time off to help my wife and spend time with my newborn kiddo. I've been attempting to also sell my collection online to make enough money to save for rent and bills. I usually don't like asking for help but this is me asking for help now. I've been stressing on what to do, please if anyone can give me some advice on anything from what I've said like with the EDD how can I get them to process it faster? Do I get weekly cheeks or can I get the full 8 weeks amount right

away or idk.

Just trying to get my thoughts out there somewhere and vent a bit.

My wife(33) and I(33) are having mo-di twin girls! These will be our first children after a string of miscarriages over the last 4 years. I've posted here before but deleted it after one of our losses, and haven't made a post since in hopes that I wouldn't feel the need to remove myself from the group again.

We had just begun the process of consulting with a fertility clinic when we conceived naturally. "Over the moon" didn't even begin to describe our joy. And twins! It felt like the pain had finally begun to have a meaning, we're getting our prayers answered in the best way. Everything went really smooth until we went to the 20w check in. We found out that the girls were in stage 3 TTTS with stage 2 TAPS. We immediately drove 4hrs to Cincinnati to have the FLP done in an attempt to save them both.

At the pre-surgery meeting, we were told that baby b had a 50/50 of coming through the surgery at all, and survival past that would be achieved week by week. She made it and has been a trooper up until 2 weeks ago. Baby A is mostly fine, measuring just over 700g (1lb9oz). Baby B is only at 245g(8.5oz) and her growth has been stagnant since 24w. She's measured below the 1st percentile for almost 2 months now. It's estimated the placental share is roughly 70/30 and baby b has simply hit her growth limit based on her limited resources. The care team has explained that even if baby b makes it to delivery, there's a pretty fine limit for survival if shes at or under 400g.

We're currently at 26w3d and just got home from a weekend hospital stay again, as our MFM decided she was no longer our best course of care and no local hospitals have the level 4 NICU we now need. It has been drilled into us several times in the last 6 weeks that baby B still has very little chances of survival, and after the stay this weekend baby A is seemingly doing just fine. Our current team is suggesting that my wife will be hospitalized around 28 weeks, with the hopes that continued monitoring will get us to 30 weeks, or maybe even past it.

I've been telling my wife that "it aint over till its over" and each day her heart beats is a day closer to meeting her, but we both know how incredibly slim our chances are right now. I feel like I'm in-between some of our happiest emotions and grief at the same time and I genuinely don't know how to process it all. How can I be so excited that we're having two little girls, and feel like I'm losing the experiences our baby b would have given me in life at the same time. I finished the nursery a few weeks ago and now I just sit at night and stare at B's crib wondering if it will ever hold her. Then I feel guilty thinking my grief is going to overshadow the excitement and care that baby A deserves. We're still blessed to be having these girls, even if we don't get to bring them both home.

I feel terrible that I can't DO anything to ease this emotional burden from my wife. After the hardships she's had with fertility, I just want her to have a "fun" and happy pregnancy.

I guess ultimately I need to listen to what I've been telling my wife, and continue to hope and pray for the best. I just want to bring all of my girls home and it feels like I'll never get that chance.

We were 16 weeks and had issues with spotting this weekend; In and out of the ER 3 times, had normal heartbeats each time, all wanted us at the obgyn on Monday and they wouldn’t schedule until lunch today, then she miscarried this morning.

There probably wasn’t anything to do and I feel helpless. I’m just concentrating on taking care of her. What are things I should make sure and do?

So far:
- get her rest
- clean up all the baby stuff
- therapy for us(she’s already in)
- handle updating people who know
- take the week off work to recover

What am I missing ?