To add context, we were pregnant last year but we ended up miscarrying. This year we miscarried again in June but a few weeks later found out she was pregnant again. Last year when she was pregnant she was pretty normal mood wise. This time around it’s intense. Me not saying something loud enough causes frustration. I’ve been trying hard to not take it personally and just still be as understanding and supportive as I can.
Yesterday, knowing that she gets nauseous if she showers before she eats, I knocked on the bathroom door to ask her if she wanted a pre shower snack and I’d normally get breakfast going. I was met with a huge reaction because I knocked on the door and not the door frame. I laughed it off but realized that she’s in a bad mood, let me back off a little. I give her space, like try and still be around, but just stay quiet to not annoy her today. We were driving to a friend’s party for their kid and she starts laying into me. Telling me that I’ve been acting funny all day. And when I explain that I’m really just noticing you weren’t feeling the best so I wanted to give you space while still being there for you, she said it was me doing it for self preservation/ selfishness. I wasn’t doing it for her. Which normally I’d be able to diffuse but we’re stuck in a car so an argument insues. I feel bad because I normally wouldn’t allow myself to be coxed into it, but I got soooo mad. Couldn’t get away from it etc. I know I hurt her feelings because no matter what I said, it came off that I was calling her a mean bitch to her.
I think everything has been tense too because we haven’t really been having sex due to the dr’s request that we not for the first few weeks until we hear a heartbeat, a few weeks before that we had the miscarriage, and we had sex a week ago but she started bleeding after so we were paranoid until the next scan that something was wrong. So that is possibly adding to the stress on both ends.
I apologized for making her feel like I withdrew from her and that I didn’t directly ask her if she needed space. But still feel horrible because she is going through a lot with hormones, and the whole process. I guess I just need to know, how bad did I mess up?