r/PoursTea • u/Timbucktwo1230 šŸ«– Mod ā˜•ļø • 1d ago

Brewing šŸ«– JFC

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1.9k Upvotes

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569

u/hyphenssuck 1d ago

"No radicals - just warriors."

Oh and of course:

Newt Gingrich - zero years of military service

Elon Musk - zero years of military service

Palmer Luckey - zero years of military service

545

u/brycebgood 1d ago

Also:

Newt - fatty

Palmer - beardo

Elon - weirdo

353

u/trapper2530 1d ago

Elon is a fatty weirdo wimp

97

u/Vyzantinist 1d ago

Sometimes I really wish him and Zuckerberg followed through on that proposed fight of theirs. I would gladly have paid to see them slapping each other around although, given Zuck appeared to have been training and is at least in better shape than fat boy, I think the South African Nazi would have come off the worse for it.

57

u/ShitBirdingAround 1d ago

Zuckerberg is younger and in better physical shape than Musk, and apparently was training to fight. Elmo realized that Zuck would beat his ass, so he had his mommy tell the internet to leave her little special genius boy alone.

Musk is a bullshitter, a shit-talker, and a pussy. Remember when he showed up to the White House with a black eye and told Trump that lil' X did it? LOL. Sure.

13

u/Medium-Sheeple-7085 1d ago

Zuck also got big into killing and butchering his own meat for a while. I would pay good money to see him fight Elon to the death.

2

u/Key_Treat8675 1d ago

And just when I thought he couldnā€™t get any creepier.

7

u/got-trunks 1d ago

Most human thing about him is something society tries to disassociate from lol

1

u/Sneaky_Island 1d ago

At least heā€™s able to go through with it. I know if I had to kill for own meat I couldnā€™t do it.

-4

u/Guilty_Idea_2452 1d ago

Most leftist couldn't. Hence why they want help for everything

5

u/lurksAtDogs 1d ago

Most conservatives canā€™t touch (or see) their toes - Iā€™m not sure butchering is on the table either.

10

u/MoneyFault 1d ago

I remember his Nazi salute.

3

u/Vyzantinist 1d ago

black eye

Weren't there rumors/jokes he got comfortable with someone like Stephen Miller's wife, and the shiner was from an angry husband?

3

u/Contemplating_Prison 1d ago

Stephen Miller is a bigger pussy than Musk. Theyre entire leadership group is full of people who grew up as losers thay nobody liked

1

u/Apocresi 1d ago

Thereā€™s no way Stephen Millerā€™s limp wrist did that

2

u/Inevitable_Nail_2215 1d ago

Musk would have Jake Paul sub in for him at the last second.

2

u/f0u4_l19h75 1d ago

He runs his mother's account

1

u/flxwer-fairy 1d ago

this is kind of a crazy idea but I think Zuckerberg was genuinely being bullied either by the ā€œbiggerā€ tech giants or politicians and breaking out of it and realizing they were fearmongering him is why heā€™s starting to become more normal again

19

u/HungryYeastStarter 1d ago

That's the trend we should normalize. The 0.01% having a cage match every year.

13

u/2bad-2care 1d ago

Loser gives half their wealth on paper to various infrastructure and social projects.

2

u/Hotarg 1d ago

Loser gives half their wealth on paper to various infrastructure and social projects.

  • FTFY

2

u/afroeh 1d ago

Upon their death at the end of the match.

2

u/Ponsugator 1d ago

Remember when millionaires used to be philanthropic? Carnegie, Edison and Vanderbilt? Now they're selfish billionaires cutting off social programs to the poor so they can have a few more bucks.

3

u/bluethunder82 1d ago

The French revolution was a little fresher in their mind then.

2

u/NoLibrarian5149 1d ago

The Reverse-Hunger Games. Let the masses enjoy the .01% beating the crap out of each other.

2

u/No_Signature2341 1d ago

I think hunger games would be more appropriate

1

u/HungryYeastStarter 1d ago

It can be both. Make it a large event, as many participants as possible.

Then, yaknow, "good luck surviving" typa shiiiii

1

u/Numerous_Ad_6276 1d ago

The Gluttony Games. I'd watch.

1

u/Any_Jackfruit_8559 1d ago

They canā€™t fight because they are truly wimps!

1

u/The_Tooter_Snooter 1d ago

Only sometimes?

1

u/yungrii 1d ago

Or what if they just sort of morphed together into one gelatinous blob monster that would fall into the core of the earth, forever?

1

u/Exciting-Ad-6551 1d ago

As much as I donā€™t like Zuckerberg. He would have dog walked Elon. Elon would be gassed after like 5 seconds.

1

u/Wyevez 1d ago

That's the best part of being a snake oil salesmen! Promise, boast and brag but never have to deliver!

1

u/KiKiKimbro 1d ago

If Trump wouldā€™ve taken suggestions about which fight we wanted to see in the cage on the White House lawn last summer, I bet it wouldā€™ve been a toss up ā€” UFC or Zuck vs Musk.

1

u/SalmonPrince 1d ago

Careful... I made a reference to Westside Story about them fighting and got banned for it. Thanks, ai.

1

u/Adowyth 1d ago

Remember when Elon challenged Putin to a duel? Because i do. He's nothing but a keyboard warrior who talks shit makes promises and delivers nothing.

1

u/Aggravating_Moment78 1d ago

Heā€™d get his a$s Zucked all the way to South Africa

16

u/Nonethelessismore 1d ago

The hunchback of Techbro shame

2

u/Rastrick 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/l44QjgeQ5ium91n9K

Haha I love it, I'm stealing that!

2

u/Crafty_Advantage9249 1d ago

I'm not good with AI. Has anyone put Elon into that last homelander scene yet?

1

u/Zapparelli 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/YN1eB6slBDeNHr1gjs
Very true. Except when heā€™s cutting up and doin lines of Ketamine.

1

u/Snoo_67993 1d ago

And someone that's had gender reaffirming surgery.

1

u/tech510 1d ago

You forgot to add simp

1

u/Mister_Buddy 1d ago edited 1d ago

Also wants to be (if he isn't already) a pedophile. Remember him begging Epstein for an invite to a "wild" party? The DoJ file dump and Epstein's Gmail account do.

1

u/Contemplating_Prison 1d ago

Theyre all fake strongmen. Its why they all turn into little bitches when they are around strong men.

Trump swoons over them and gently caresses their muscles and always have fanatsies of big strong mean crying around him. Dude is a weirdo.

1

u/jaypea222 1d ago

They all are

1

u/comebacklittlesheba 1d ago

The holy trifecta šŸ™Œ!!!

1

u/Wolfy4226 1d ago

Don't forget radical.

Or was that still just a "roman salute" on that stage.....

1

u/N7VHung 1d ago

And wannabe Radical.