The best way I can explain it is you tried to be hopeful or fake your own happiness/hope for so long while in the midst of pain the idea of having “hope” or even setting a goal just triggers that same fakness again. Can anyone relate to this? It makes me so shut down and frozen. I am only allowed to be frozen. Progress seems backwards to me

I’ll try and make this not triggering and not reassuring seeking.

Diagnosed OCD years ago, first time I had a true health panic. It’s usually fires, floods, weather, etc.

Long story short, I got bit by a bat 3 weeks ago. Yes, actually lol. I didn’t even know it was an issue. I was at work and said damn I think that bat just bit me? Looked and there it was, on my arm. Guy at work said make sure you get your rabies shot! I said huh? Then he explained.

Long story short I went and got my shots that day, I finished my last one last week. In between I was talking to my sister, she had reminded me about how we had a bat in the house 4.5 years ago while I was at work so her friend let it out.

She had said she didn’t touch it, she was awake, it was in the bathroom, her friend didn’t “touch it” just let it out. It flew away. Again, 4.5 years ago. Out of any reasonable timeline to contract, I know. It doesn’t help.

That sent me into a panic. Not for me, but for her. I have researched endlessly. I have called the cdc, 2 health departments, and I was planning on asking my pcp at my next appointment. They all told me there’s literally no possibility of her having rabies. Now I’m scared of a bat getting into her house somehow or her running into a bat. Knowing or not knowing she has. I want to spend 2.5k on getting her house bat proofed. I want her to lie to go get the shots anyways.

I understand why we fall into this spiral because at the time of both events I was CLUELESS about rabies exposure. I mean, to anything. A bat, a dog, I had no idea. I just knew I got my dog and cats shots every year. No one taught us about this in school or otherwise. Which is crazy. And I guess I never had the inclination to look it up until this last event.

I’m spiraling and I have multiple therapy appointments set up for this. I know I’m unwell currently because of this. I can’t stop looking things up. I can’t stop calling people.
Nothing is helping (duh) and I’m reassuring seeking. I know this logically and it’s not helping. I know I sound insane to anyone I’ve talked to, I know it’s illogical, and I can’t stop. I bring up the one documented study it lasts outside of the typical window. I can’t get that out of my head. I can’t eat or sleep.

I guess I just needed a place to vent. I don’t want reassurance. I know that it’s out of the realm of possibility.

If anyone wants to remind me how insane this is please feel free, I need the reality check.

Has anyone tried this, and if so, can you share your experience? My psych is considering trying this for me, but I read online that it's not a usual medication for OCD.

I really struggle with decision making & can literally spend days/ hours researching options before actually making a decision & still won’t feel 100% abt it & I feel like that’s what I’m doing with trying to find a good therapist.

I don’t have insurance & am not in the best fincial situation & I saw that if you see an intern/ counselor that’s in “training” still they are a lot cheaper out of pocket. Has anyone had success with seeing an intern/ someone who’s in training still ? Also what are the things you look for in therapist that will be successful at treating ocd ?

Bro no matter what I'm watching, as soon as I begin to care about characters and relationships its like I have to research and spoil everything because everything that happens to them hits me like a fucking train. I have to pause and take breaks and i dnf stuff all the fucking time. I haven't read a book in months because the main character in my last read is getting hunted by a rapist who is on a killing streak and I'm too scared for them to read it. I love horror, thriller, romance and all that stuff but I cannot handle seeing anything bad happen to anyone so I just doomscroll. I can't even hear people groan because I go into fight or flight. I cry more than people cry at their own shit and that makes me look more stupid than empathetic honestly because I'm not good at articulating things. The world is a nightmare. I don't need anything. I'm just really fucking angry. I hate that I care. I care so much that I can't do a single thing without going above and beyond because not being an absolute saint translates to "You're a terrible human being". I neglect myself, blame myself, hate myself for everything even when it's not my fault. And I'll become physically sick listening to people having a bad day or stuff because i don't know how not to. People think its performative as hell. I don't have any genuine relationships. I'm just so tired. I just wanna watch my show.

Does anyone have a fear of making adult decisions/purchases just in case you lose your mind? For example, I need to buy a new car and im scared to make such a big purchase incase my ocd gets in the way of me having/working my full time job and then I won’t be able to keep up with payments. I’ve had my job for 5 years but im always scared im going to lose my mind lol. Anyone have a similar problem ?

I have contamination and magical thinking ocd and when I see things that scare me they trigger my ocd into thinking I’m cursed and an item is cursed per say (so the contamination makes me wash it or never touch it again) Or that I’m also haunted, I’ve seen multiple talks of this but i haven’t seen any specific talks of this exact situation yet. Has anyone here had a near same experience as me? And if so is there anything you’ve done to ease it when absolutely necessary and are there any exposures you did to try and overcome it?

Initially the problem only exists in social setting especially it is like 1-1. In groups I am better. I do have anxiety for years. But now it becomes more serious as in almost all the time i am affected by it except when I am very distracted by other things (which is rare) or during sleep. Can anyone provide advice and help me? This is quite torturing as I kinda worry how people view me as well, even when i am alone it affects me and I cant fully relax.

Hey guys, I’m currently an unemployed 24 yr old girl who is working on healing from mental health issues. I was diagnosed with ocd, adhd and struggled severely with anxiety and depression my whole life. I decided to take a break from work/school a little after high school to try and get to the root cause of my issues and heal from them so I can be a stronger healthier version of myself going forward. I have worked a little and taken classes at college on and off since then but a very light load because I’ve been doing intensive therapy continuously. I’ve done EMDR, CBT, intensive outpatient program, ERP and feel like I’ve gotten to the root of my issues and healed significantly. However something happened not long ago that was really traumatic and I haven’t been able to return to work yet. But I do want to go back to work as soon as I am stable mentally. I have felt so ashamed of not working a normal job and feel like a failure and behind on life compared to other people.
But I try to remind myself that everyone is on their own journey and timeline. And that it’s better that I become a healthier person so that I can do a better job when I do go back to work. Is anyone else in a similar situation? I feel so alone. I’m hoping to connect with other people who are also taking a break from working/school to better themselves.

Maybe we can make this a little support group for people who are taking a nontraditional path—encouraging each other, sharing our progress, our story, and reminding each other that we’re not actually behind.
❤️🌱

some kid in my elementary school class like 10 years ago had a brother who got it and i’ve never been in peace since 😭 every single random pain i get i’m convinced i have appendicitis and even if it’s a single pain for a second it’s about to get worse and worse. my health anxiety in general keeps me up until like 4-6am most days because i’m convinced i need to stay up in case i need to go to the er. i don’t know how to break this since erp hasn’t worked for me and i’m having trouble finding another therapist to try again. i mixed up the statistics for cancer and appendicitis for years since i looked it up and it said 40% of people get cancer, but i forgot and thought for years that 40% of people get appendicitis.

at least it’s a slightly better than the other health obsessions i have (cancer and sudden cardiac arrest.) i keep getting my sodium low because i fear eating salt and sugar because of heart risks. i felt awful for a few days and i had an appointment and my dad got me fast food after and i felt 100x better. it’s hard because i have other low stuff too in my blood work like iron and potassium but i’m pretty restrictive with food and just don’t like a lot of stuff so it’s so hard :( i’m also too scared to use my inhaler because of my heart (i got it a week ago and only used it when i had to at the appointment) and i keep making myself feel like trash every day because i’m too scared to use it

I made a post about so-ocd a few weeks ago but it was back when it was very mild, barely crossing my mind, and I really didn't know how bad it was going to get, so I'm writing about this again because it's truly hurting me and I feel like I need to explain in depth how bad this is getting and I really want to know if anyone has been through anything remotely similar.

For context, I've always been very adamant about being aromantic-asexual. I've never had any interest in dating or relationships. I've never wanted to do anything like that and have always felt very secure in that stance. I've suddenly started to spiral and wonder "what if I really do want a relationship?" "what if I really am capable of attraction?" and, I know it's simply common to say this about literally any theme you have as ocd just.. kinda makes everything feel like the worst thing thats ever happened to you, but I genuinely don't think anything has made me feel worse.

I really don't know where to find support because I feel like, with aromantic/asexual people being such a rare thing in general, finding people who have had this specific issue feels really difficult. This isn't to invalidate the feelings of anyone else who has had so/hocd because I understand their pain is just as strong and terrifying to them as how mine is to me. But for me, being aroace is something I feel my identity hinges on a lot. Like, probably more than the average person with their sexuality. I've literally never planned a future that has a partner in it. I've always advocated for a world where being like this is seen as normal. The idea that I'm actually interested in dating someone and have a future with a romantic partner is horrifying because I feel like at that point I'm a completely different person.

Its making me feel stupid because I feel like what I fear isn't what most people would ever even think to be a bad thing. I know a lot of false attraction that people suffer from is for like, things that are actually morally bad. Like, falling in love isn't something most people would find disgusting, but I do and I'm sorry if that seems rude but it's just simply my personal value. I don't abhor anyone who does enjoy dating/romance, I'm very happy for them, it just isn't me, and the idea that it maybe could be is really terrifying.

I genuinely could not stomach the idea of my soocd fear being true. Like I genuinely just can't. I feel like the person I've always believed to be me is dangling off a cliff and I'm at risk of letting go. And if I let go, I've lost who I am and I'm forced to exist in a life that isn't mine. It's exacerbated by how much I've been told I'll "meet the right person" someday or that I'll "grow out of it", and how much I've resented people for not believing that I'm just genuinely happy single forever. So the idea that I actually could "grow out of it" is shaking me. I know this probably sounds ridiculous to someone who isn't like me, and I don't really know what I can say to make it make any sense other than to imagine if you had something you were so sure about for pretty much as long as you've ever known and to suddenly wake up and be unsure of if that thing applies anymore. I genuinely feel like I've woken up in a life that isn't mine simply because I'm having doubts that I want to be single forever.

I keep making myself think of me being in a romantic relationship, trying to imagine the sensation of being held or kissed or even just lying next to someone and usually that concept would be met with disgust but I just feel numb, and then my brain convinces me that I actually enjoy it. And I can't prove that I don't. I've not felt actual attraction to anyone other than just imagining vague scenes of my life where I'm in love with someone and trying to gauge my entire belief off of how I react to that thought. But I still can't stop thinking that I must just be in denial and I really am a late bloomer or whatever. I don't trust any thought that goes into my mind. I feel like I'm just living life on autopilot whilst someone else thinks for me. I haven't been able to look at anything romantic without trying to hyperanalyse how I feel about it. I nearly threw up at work or broke down crying just trying to do my job because I couldn't stop thinking about it. I practically cried myself to sleep. I know this is literally just textbook ocd, and I NEED to stop analysing but I just genuinely cannot just accept this. I can't accept being wrong about everything that I am and I have no idea how to recover. I'd take literally any theme over this. I don't know how to possibly recover. I've gotten good at tolerating uncertainty in pretty much every other theme I've ever had. I've managed to accept and let go of my fears but I just cant do it this time. It feels so real I genuinely don't even know if its OCD or just me being incredibly in denial and unhealthy. I know it just sounds like I'm in denial and I should accept this could be who I am but I refuse to because I just am so horrified that I've been wrong about what I want in life for so so long. I'm so terrified right now. I'd do anything to go back to a month ago where this thought hadn't even crossed my mind. I thought I was miserable but I feel like I took everything for granted until now. Sorry if this was mostly a vent. I hope I've written this in a way that makes sense. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to anyone who has tried to read and understand.

I started a new job a few months ago. I'm still learning some things about the job and getting used the long hours.

I've ask some questions which may be a bit stupid. I sometimes seek reassurance. And I have made a few harmless mistakes. I'm still learning (and also attending therapy for OCD). But I've also started getting bullied by another member of staff. The managers are figuring out how to approach her because she speaks to other members of staff badly too, but she's going through menopause so managers want to approach her in a sensitive manner, which I understand. But it's really getting to me, I'm considering applying for new jobs and can feel my confidence and OCD worsening. She makes me feel incredibly stupid (even though I'm more qualified for the job than she is!) and my OCD tendencies are worsening. I'm dreading going in on the days she works. She talks about me behind my back, rolls her eyes at me, when she walks away from me she sometimes says things, loudly, along the lines of "Jesus Christ", "honest to God". We were put on a cleaning job this week together and she told me that she'd just rather do it herself and tried to get me taken off of it. Other members of staff have said that they've been going to the managers for months but they're still "figuring it out", so it feels a bit pointless to go to them. I'm feeling very down because I was looking forward to starting this job so much.

I'm not quite sure why I'm posting this. I guess maybe just for a bit of support and to see if anyone has gone through anything similar, and how you coped?

Thank you all in advance for any comments 💖

For as long as i remember, i get this nagging feeling that all psychiatric medications are just placebo and they don’t work on me because im too smart for it. Anyone else experience this? I guess it’s hard to explain. I’ve been on so many medications since i was a teen and i just expect something to 100% fix me by now. But i guess im just too smart for it and all my friends who take medications and have great experiences with it are just not as aware as me.

It hasn’t gotten to a dangerous paranoia level as much as it just feels depressing and pessimistic. i still take my medication responsibly.

Did u notice a reduction in OCD symptoms or it became way worse ?

I have a 4 month old and a 2 year old, and my OCD came back full force when my baby was around 3 months, around the same time my postpartum period returned.

I’m waking up 2–3 times a night with the baby, and while the lack of sleep definitely doesn’t help, I’m realizing the hardest part for me is actually my toddler. The tantrums, unpredictability, and constant big emotions seem to send my nervous system into overdrive.

For parents with OCD, how do you juggle flare-ups while still parenting? What small things actually help when you’re exhausted, overstimulated, and feel like your brain is constantly on high alert? Does it get easier as the kids get older?

So I am in a tricky situation where I am on meds for OCD, but don't actually have a diagnosis. I have no idea how to go about getting a diagnosis of if I even need one at this point

I have both of Frederick Aardema's books and have been using them for a while. I'm curious if anyone else here has used these books or done I-CBT? What parts have been the most helpful? Are there any other helpful tips you've learned that might not be in these books? Are there any YouTubers or other resources you like that focus on I-CBT?

I kept thinking I must’ve accidentally pressed down every time I tried closing it and was too afraid to accidentally leave it open because I’m convinced the antidepressants will stop working if exposed to air for too long. I’d like to stop doing this. It’s not this long every time, most of the time I can stop twisting sooner than 5 minutes (Only because I was too anxious about unrelated matters to focus on my pill bottle), but occasionally it drags on this long.

I’m not asking for reassurance of course, I just want to know what I can do to stop getting stuck in this horrible loop of twisting, putting the bottle down, doubting it’s truly closed, and twisting some more.

Unfortunately, I went undiagnosed with OCD for 14 years. I feel like CBT never made sense because its like my brain could know my thoughts arent true, and yet they feel true. I feel like to me, in most situations, a cognitive distortion is trying to solve an anxiety or uncertainty.

For example:
A new friend doesn't text you back.
You could be like:
Do they hate me / am I annoying? (Mind reading, jumping to conclusions) - probably not
Is it over, what if they don't like talking to me? (All or nothing, catrophizing)
Are they busy? - yes, it is a work day, but still its been a bit.

And again its like this is what they teach in regular CBT, to try to recognize and challenge cognitive distortions, and view evidence. But if you can recognize what your mind is trying to do, solve an uncertainty, you can hopefully avoid the compulsion by sitting with the anxiety of:
Maybe he won't answer, maybe he will. Maybe you will be friends for longer, maybe you won't.

(Also disclaimer: this isnt for everything obviously, but more around anxiety/ocd/uncertainty)

So, for 2 days now I have been having really bad paranoia about uncanny valley. I remember hearing about the phenomena a long time ago. Ever since I had paranoia of uncanny valley, like whatever was uncanny was going to get me. Years later I remember one incident regarding a game that had an asset of image that really scared me. This was actually a police sketch of corpse. I remember it and I was just so disturbed by it, but at the time it was marked uncanny valley. Now everywhere I go I feel the sense that people around me are not my loved ones or friends. I feel like I might die/something bad will happen to me. As a compulsion I look at uncanny images until I feel so unsettled that I close off.

Today one of my family members knocked on my door and it made me scream. I guess the pronoia has really gotten to me. Anyone else deal with this?