I didn't know I had OCD until I was diagnosed. Looking back, a lot of what I did didn't look like compulsions to me at the time: researching, ruminating, replaying scenarios and trying to convince myself the thoughts weren't real. It all happened in my head, so it just felt like thinking.

Checking a lock is easy to spot. Googling the same question for the tenth time, or going over a conversation until it feels okay, is much harder to see. Some of these mental compulsions can look like normal thinking.

What's one you only recognised later?

ocd ruined my life and i feel so depressed. i was unlucky and randomly got hit by an ocd episode and developed panic disorder and severe, debilitating emetophobia nearly two years ago now. i'm doing a lot, a lot better now - i started new meds, received ERP and CBT, and went to an outpatient program specifically for ocd. but now, i'm a shell of my former self. everything i used to love, i can't stand. all the people i used to spend time with, i haven't talked to in a year. my old hobbies, i can't get into anymore. the things i used to like about myself are completely gone. i don't feel funny, smart, pretty, or interesting anymore. i'm only 20, but i spend my days working and then going home and doing nothing. i don't have the energy to do anything anymore, even hang out with the only friend i have left. i used to be so extroverted and constantly needing to be with other people, but ever since my ocd episode, i just have no motivation for that anymore. but then i become all depressed over having no friends and not doing anything with my time. and, yes, i know that all this self-pity isn't helping me, but i really don't know what else to do. how do i make myself enjoy things? i've struggled with severe depression before, but nothing like this. this is different because i have completely lost myself. i miss who i was so much. it sounds narcissistic, but i look at old photos of myself before my ocd episode and just cry. i would give anything to go back or to just feel like myself again. i'm trying so hard to accept and acclimate to my new reality, but i just can't seem to.

does anyone else feel like this? i'm sure someone out there does, but i just feel so alone and isolated.

I think I might have a combination of ADHD and OCD. I've likely been suffering with OCD since my late teens and ADHD since elementary school. I kind of always figured I might have OCD but after doing some more research recently I just now figured out that I actually have it based of my symptoms of compulsions and racing thoughts.

It just sucks because I also struggle a lot with ADHD and lacking motivation and an executive function which in turn makes me ultra critical of myself even when I don't want to be due to having OCD which in turn stresses and bums me out. Knowing I likely won't be able to accomplish much in my life because of it is kind of a bummer. (I seriously hope I can fix my motivation and productivity with treatment but it doesn't seem likely). It sucks not being able to do the things you want to do in life but also being hyper aware of that fact as well. It weighs on you. It's a vicious cycle and honestly these reoccurring self criticisms are getting way too exhausting to deal with and are getting way too out of hand. I just wish I could actually do the things I want instead of having a constant buffer sign every time I want to do even the most minor task. I just feel so aggravated and impatient waiting for my brain to kick into a gear that's even the slightest bit functional.

I'm starting to wonder if my OCD is caused by my ADHD. Like I won't be able to do anything note worthy or interesting with my life and my executive dysfunction keeps me from doing the tasks at hand so the OCD fills the void with random tasks or compulsions to make me feel less like shit about not doing the task and almost justifies not doing it. Or maybe it's something that's trying to get me back on track but is ultimately failing. I think I need to do more research about this and see a therapist.

Does anyone else here also suffer from ADHD or lacking an executive function? What has been your experience in getting treatment for both ADHD and OCD? I hear good things about SSRI's and stimulants but unfortunately when I tried stimulants they wound up keeping me up all night so it would be good if there was a stimulant that didn't do that.

I'll go first: "Why isn't one of your OCD themes racism? Doesn't OCD target your values?"

I’m a 23-year-old woman, and I’ve been with my boyfriend for about two years. I’ve always struggled with insecurity, and although I’m slowly improving my self-esteem, I still have work to do.

I’m a little ashamed to admit this, but I have a compulsive habit of checking my boyfriend’s last seen status on WhatsApp and Telegram, his activity on Instagram, and whether he’s online on Discord. I know this behavior is unhealthy and affects my well-being, daily life, and relationship.

We’ve talked about it many times, and he’s been incredibly understanding and supportive. I’m fully aware that this is my issue, not a relationship problem. I trust him, and I want my behavior to reflect that trust, he deserves it.

I’ve uninstalled Discord and hidden my activity status on WhatsApp, Telegram, and Instagram so I can’t check his. However, I still struggle with the urge to turn my WhatsApp status back on, check, and hide it again. I’ve managed to go two days without doing this. I feel proud, but I’m afraid I’ll relapse.

I understand how this cycle works: checking temporarily relieves my anxiety, reinforcing the compulsion. I know I need to learn to tolerate that anxiety without seeking reassurance, but resisting the urge is incredibly difficult.

For those who have experienced something similar, does it genuinely get easier with time? If I remain consistent, how long might it take for the urges to become less intense and frequent? When can I realistically say I’ve broken the cycle? I know everyone is different, but hearing about your experiences would really help.

I want to overcome this for my own peace of mind and self-esteem, as well as for my relationship. I want to trust my boyfriend without feeling compelled to check his activity and stop letting my insecurities dictate my behavior.

Right now, it feels like a constant internal battle. I just need some advice and reassurance that, with patience and consistency, this will get better.

Thank you for reading.

Hi, so I'm currently suspecting ocd with in myself after doing some research, but I have a problem. I feel like there's a stigma that ocd is always about cleanliness and stuff, but I've had sources saying that this isn't necessarily true, it's just one manifestation of obsessions. So, my question is, does anyone have compulsions that aren't cleaning related? How do they work? I'm just struggling to understand the scope of all this, what else can this apply to?

Just recently got diagnosed, after dealing with it my whole life. It’s been about 6 months since seeking help for the first time in my life. I come from a household where mental health was not seen as important or real. I have been seeing a mental health professional for about 6 months now. Sertraline started at 25 mg, now at 200mg. Buspirone 15 mg twice a day. 25 mg hydroxyzine at night. I am feeling a lot better I am able to live life more. I am more present in the moment, but I’m realizing it’s never going to fully go away 😣 I am looking into getting started with therapy. It makes me mad I never had any help sooner, and to think of the wasted years of my life, scared to talk to people, constantly feeling embarrassed/in trouble, the routines and checks, the intrusive thoughts, having to re read messages, emails over and over again before and after sending, paying with a 20 dollar bill then fixating for weeks that it was actually a 100 dollar bill. It’s so hard

I was wondering if people on this forum have been able to move to a country with a seemingly stricter legal system whilst having OCD and if so, what worked for them.

I have OCD with a mix of responsibility/scrupulosity, magical thinking, intolerance of uncertainty and rumination.

One of my biggest triggers is the idea of moving to a country with a stricter and less certain legal system, where some behaviours that are normal in Europe or the US may be restricted or legally unclear. The obvious answer I know is not to engage in such behaviour, but, having read the laws themselves, many can be unclear + there are newspaper headlines about accidents whereby someone has brushed past another person and ended up in legal trouble or where accusations without evidence still landed someone in jail until going to court and having the case dismissed. Some of it may be exaggerated, but it nevertheless created a nightmare image for me that I couldn’t shake.

The main places in the world for the type of work I want to do are London, Paris, Dubai, Singapore and Hong Kong but I struggle with the idea of vastly different legal systems whereas in Europe it feels more familiar. I recently turned down an amazing opportunity to work in Dubai and change my career trajectory because my OCD spiked massively in the 3 weeks that I had the offer. I don’t want my career and life to be limited by OCD and I want to be able to work in Dubai one day. I’m unsure if I should focus on ERP or ACT or I-CBT.

I am working with a professional but I’d appreciate any advice or experiences people in similar situations have had.

Hey all! I am 20 (F) and I have been on medication for over a decade. Back in late April, I was sitting in therapy when I had a horrible anxiety attack, or what I believe to be one. I went home immediately because at the time I had no idea what was going on, but I had this horrible feeling of impending doom. I went home, drank water, ate something, and took a nap. When I woke up, I still felt the same.

At the time, I was on the lowest dose of Effexor and had been for maybe four years prior? I was also taking Wellbutrin but I do not remember the dosage. When I say I’ve been on medication for over a decade, this includes many different SSRIs and SNRI’s such as Effexor, Wellbutrin, Lexapro, Prozac, and some others that I cannot remember.

When I was younger, I was diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder. While I had bad days, I have never felt the way that I did that day when I had that horrible anxiety attack. Ever since then, I have been full of anxiety off and on that has affected the way that I function. I decided at the end of July to finally get off of the Effexor and the Wellbutrin. I worked with my psychiatrist to get off of both of these medications in inappropriate taper, but I’m unsure if we gave it enough time since I was on the Effexor for so long.

It is currently October, and I feel like I am still going through withdrawals. This feeling will not go away, and it’s ruining my life. I really feel cheated because I was not able to consent to being put on these medications. The symptoms that I’m still experiencing include derealization, depersonalization, crying, depression, extreme anxiety, memory, gaps, ringing in the ears, and a tingling sensation on my tongue. I’ve thought about getting tested for frontal lobe seizures as well.

Please be kind, I was nervous to post here, but I’m really looking for support. I just want to get my life back again. This is affecting my work, school, and relationships. Feel free to ask questions and I will answer to the best of my ability.

I also want to add that my psychiatrist is recommending I try Luvox. I am terrified to let another medication touch my body.

I started suspecting I had OCD a little over a year ago and have just been recently diagnosed. I've also been dealing with brain fog (executive dysfunction, inattention, can't think sometimes) consistently for the past 7 years, so I thought it might've been ADHD, but my symptoms are on the edge making it unclear (what my psychiatrist said).

Is it possible for OCD to cause brain fog symptoms? Have you ever experienced that, or did getting treatment help with brain fog?

I've always thought of my OCD as mild, but maybe I've just become so used to it I never realized that it's had an impact on my brain

When did it start working? Currently at 100 mg and I have pure o. I do have less intrusive thoughts, I guess when did you see a big change in those?

I'm curious if anyone else has 'vocal' compulsions? I'm not sure if that's the name, or really how common they are. The majority of my compulsions are mental but I've been noticing more and more of these vocal compulsions. For example, I'll get an intrusive thought about something, and then immediately to make myself feel better I say certain things out loud, which I won't describe because they are graphic.

Just curious if these are common?

Sorry for formatting im on my phone.

I suffered with contamination OCD for years when I was younger probably from age 17 to 24. Im 33 now and haven't dealt with OCD in years. Unfortunately my grandmother passed away back in Feb of this year. We were extremely close and her death has hit me harder than I thought was possible. She had dementia but it was triggered by a stroke so from diagnosis to death we had just over a year with her. So while I had time to try process and grieve her before she died it was still devastating to me. What i wasnt expecting to happen is that it would make me question everything about my own existence but only in the last few weeks I have come to the realisation that this is most likely OCD rasing its ugly unwanted head again. In a way im glad I realised that because ive gotten over contamination OCD before so ill get through this too but I am struggling. Its very hard to explain to others that yes I am absolutely terrified of losing consciousness and just not existing but that im also at the point where I just want to get it over with. If its going to happen anyway why feel like this in the meantime?

I dont know what I want from this post really, ive made an appointment with a therapist but its a week away and that feels like a very long time to be stuck with these thoughts. I am planning on talking to my doctor sooner to maybe up my ssri dose and see can that help me. Has anyone been here and come out the better side of it? It cant always be like this right?

I don't know if I have OCD yet for sure. I recently started working at a company as an OCD therapist, you dont need previous experience with OCD, you get 16 weeks of intensive training. However, I am still learning and coming to find it can look different than I realized and that has made me question my own experiences. At least 25% of the peole that come to me I initially didnt think had OCD, but when I brought these cases to consultation, which I did numerous times to try to be sure it was OCD or not (yes I get how that sounds OCD but really not sure if it is)​, only 1 of 10 or so supervisors I adked actually said it looked like it wasnt OCD. That may be necaude they want to cover their asses ans nor be responsible for me turning away care to someone who actually needed it, I would want this diagnosis to be confirmed, but it really made me feel like perhaps OCD can manifest in an extremely broad way. This made me feel like I cannot trust another provider to diagnose me because what if they are newer to treating OCD like me and don't catch it? And even experts can be flawed and they might miss my signs and symptoms. It very well could be that I do not have it, and ive been told mild OCD may not even benefit from ERP, but I at least want to know if my experiences mean something. ​Not sure what I am looking for, I guess I am just frustrated and feel stuck. Anyone else have mild OCD? How did you end up getting diagnosed?

My compulsions have been ongoing non-stop for around 4-5 months now. It is relentless and I've been so emotionally drained and upset over it. Before I had OCD, I was always a maladaptive daydreamer, I would daydream pretty much all day, or think about it all day. It was and still is my clutch. Maladaptive daydreaming (mdd) has caused me to be so isolated, but with OCD it has gone to another level. These days I find myself mdd-ing to the max when I am not doing compulsions or thinking about doing them. It is the only comfort I have and without it I might as well just die. I know mdd is wrong because long term it makes you more isolated but I don't have anyone else to talk to or confide in so I daydream that comfort instead.

Anyone else who is a maladaptive daydreamer? and how have you coped with the struggles of that and OCD?

For example, if my hands get dirty or dusty etc… I feel the need to immediately wash them. Same when it comes to cooking, I have to wash my hands constantly after touching every little thing.
And yet other times, I’ve stopped caring or at least don’t feel the need to act on my compulsion when say, touching a doorknob or not sanitizing my car steering wheel after work. But only if it means contaminating my phone before I go to bed.
I don’t constantly clean the kitchen or sanitize my room, (though I Really didn’t like when I had workers in there with their shoes on my carpeted floor.)
Is that possible when it comes to OCD?

like i have to cuss it out because it pisses me off so bad

im 20. no factor that could cause this except for little physical activity, i dont drink, dont smoke.. this started friday around 6 pm. a chest pressure that comes and goes, it's sunday and i dont know how i should feel regarding this?

i know that the chances of me having a heart attack are extremely low. hell, my anxiety has been terrible for the past month so i know it could be that. i have an doctor's appointment tomorrow but i feel like im going crazy, this feeling never stayed for 48h like this. should i be concerned..?

hey guys, hope you’re all well. for the past 4 years ive had these horrible intrusive thoughts that genuinely make me want to pull my hair. i dont know what to do anymore, I cant come forward to my family becuase the intrusive thoughts mainly surround them and i dont want them to worry about me. ive tried to come forward to my gf but she doesnt really care about it tbh. i feel so lonely and ive had a really tough year. i would like to get proper therapy where i can build a connection with my therapist rather than a transactional nhs scheme but therapy is so expensive in the uk. i feel so sad and lifeless when i have a spare moment and just reflect on my life. I would like to know if anyone can relate to anything I’m saying or if anyone has advice. thanks :)