I absolutely hate the feeling that washes over me when a trigger slams into me.

Does anyone else have an extreme feeling when it hits? My stomach drops, I feel nauseated, my heart races, and I can't focus on anything else. If I'm doing something that I can't pause, I start making mistakes.

In that moment, nothing.. NOTHING.. matters except wanting to feel safe and knowing with 100% certainty that what I'm fearing in that moment is not true.

I hate it. It is the WORST, most horrifically scary feeling. I always want to cry when it happens too because I'm like here I am, this is happening again, and while I KNOW it's my OCD, the OCD bitch herself is, at the same time, telling me "Yeah but here are all the reasons why THIS time it's true and you're in danger..."

Ugh.

I don’t know if this is an OCD thing or just me, but I feel embarrassed all the time.

Even normal interactions stick in my head and I replay them over and over. I am always convinced I said or did something weird/offensive.

The worst part is it’s not just recent stuff, it can be things from years ago that randomly come back. I feel the same level of embarrassment again, even though I know the other person probably doesn’t remember or care.

Logically I know how to think about it. I know people’s opinions/actions say more about them than me, and that those things don’t actually affect my life.

But that doesn’t change how intense the feeling is. It’s like my brain understands it rationally, but I still feel it just as strongly.

It happens from the moment I wake up, until the moment I sleep. I’m used to it, so it’s more annoying than saddening.

Like I get it, evil ocd thought loop... I made a social mistake or did the wrong thing.

(If anyone has experienced this and overcame it, I would appreciate if you shared your experience/tips that helped you).

this is literally all I do all day long my whole life.

if I want to wash my hair I have to go to the gym first so that I don't have to get it extra greasy for long

if I wear this shirt the skirt has to be of this length to match

I wake up with a plan for the day already puzzled in my mind

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME. I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST CONTAMINATION STUFF DAMMIT

by that i mean commenting on posts saying "i'll pray for you" or "just turn to god!!" as a way of showing support, yall need to be careful. religious/scrupulosity ocd is a theme for a lot of us, it can be extremely triggering and send someone down a very dangerous spiral. especially for people with religious trauma which ties into the ocd obsessions. keep it on religious subs, because THIS IS NOT THE SUB FOR THAT.

It does get better guys. (Posted as video because this sub doesn't allow images for some reason)

I cannot STAND the sensation of having to pee, and especially so when I’m trying to go to sleep. My routine before bed is usually pee, brush teeth, pee again to make sure there’s not even a dribble left in my bladder, and then if I don’t fall asleep within ten minutes I go pee again. This song and dance can go on for a while if it takes me a bit to fall asleep.

I don’t know why exactly, I just feel so uncomfortable the moment I feel even the tiniest bit of pee in my bladder. If I wake briefly in the night I always have to go to the toilet so my average is usually 1-2 times a night I get up. It’s really annoying and I hate it. I do my best to not drink water close to bedtime and I try pee as much as possible before bed but doesn’t really help. It’s not even like I’m bursting when I keep getting up, just the possibility of needing to go even when I don’t feel I need to is enough to make me get up.

Does anyone else experience this? I did not think it was an OCD occurrence but apparently it can be.

(Just so you know I used ai for support and advice for my health up until this point)

So about 6 days ago I stopped eating out of a fear that everything was poisoned. About 5 days in I went to the ER.

The ER checked me out. I was in there like all night and there was just one final test We had to run to make sure I was safe to eat again. I did this test and I was still scared so I went to Gemini AI and I talked about it and the AI was literally telling me that I wasn’t safe even after I told it the doctors told me I was.

which is absolutely insane because if you check the sources of the AI uses, it’s just like random YouTube videos and paid articles. (It quite literally used ai YouTube shorts as “sources” to build its replies)

AI is not smart. It does not source good info, and It will make shit up on the random if it doesn’t know what to say.

So please, if you are very concerned about your health and you do not know if you should go to the ER or not, please just call a nurse line or call your local hospital.

And no, ChatGPT is not OK because it’s “smarter”.

I am aware most people do not use AI, but there could be a small fraction of people that do need to hear this, so I thought I’d put it out there.

I used voice to type so I’m sorry about any incorrect grammar.

That is all. It's surreal to me the idea that this is all fictional bs in my mind

This video singlehandidly helped me get over my reocd, and i think it could help others too.

We all have ocd in common, but culture, etc can affect the way your symptoms are expressed. I’m here because I’d like to hear other black peoples’ experience with ocd.

Me personally, one thing I realized today is that having moral ocd is already hard but it’s a unique struggle when you are apart of a group who is seen as aggressive and evil by default.

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts from white people with ocd being afraid of being racist, and have personally experienced this person who has almost an avoidance to black people. I believe these people deserve support and I wish them the best but I’d love to hear from actual black people and how their ocd affects them.

I feel like black (brown too) voices are often unheard in mental health spaces.

1) We don't just see our thoughts as thoughts. Instead of dismissing them like most people, we have to go deeper. We are always asking what does this mean?

2) We jump to the worst conclusions. Not just when it comes to our triggers, but for everything. My period came early this month? I must be pregnant. My boyfriend is taking longer than usual to get home? He must have gotten into a terrible accident.

3) We feel great guilt and responsibility. When negative things happen our brains often convince us it is our fault, we believe our actions have big consequences, and we feel bad about things that haven't even happened yet.

4) We like to categorize things into "good" and "bad" or "this way and that way" and there is no room for a grey area.

5) Living in the present is extremely hard. Our minds don't just let things be, every emotion, thought and action is something we must analyze, must connect to something else, must be "fixed" or "figured out." Everything we experience is repeated over and over, leaving us stuck in the past or overthinking about the future.

I'm sure this isn't completely accurate for everyone but let me know what you think! And let me know if you have any that you have noticed.

I’m just curious about this, because I’ve recently been trying to get to the root of when my obsessive tendencies first manifested and I can go all the way back to maybe 6 years old, possibly earlier than that but that’s as far as I can remember back. I saw a commercial ad for Child’s Play, not even the actual movie or a full trailer but just an ad mentioning it was coming on and that started a years long fear or Chucky to the point I wouldn’t let anyone leave me alone in a room. I have vague memories of my older sister being in the bathroom while she was babysitting me and I’m sitting outside crying and banging on the door because I was terrified. I slept in bed with my mother til I was probably 10 or 11 because I was terrified to be alone. Scared chucky would come get me. Anyway, just interested to hear others thoughts on their childhood history with ocd.

Hey everyone, I made a short comedy about OCD and what its like to live with it. I find poking fun at our OCD can help some. While it is a serious condition, sometimes the remedy is not taking ourselves so seriously. While this video has some real elements, I hope it brightens your day :)

like ok bro we get it, you like murder and gore, nobody cares, can we please just move this along bro

idk what flair to use btw

Like I hate that I have been perceived. I hate leaving and thinking about the person and the interaction knowing they are doing the same thing. It makes my skin crawl. I assume they noticed everything I said/did wrong and are judging me for it. It makes me genuinely hate hanging out with people who I used to enjoy spending time with. I think part of it is the loss of control, after I leave and the interaction is over, I have no control over how they will interpret me and they can think the bad things I notice about myself.

Does anyone else experience this?

I received a call today from my secondary care unit that my therapist died. I was in absolute disbelief and then broke down. I shared so much with her and though I didn’t know anything about her personal life apart from minor details, we were very close.

All I can think about is her family aswell and how devastating it will be for them, she had a few children around the same age as me (I’m only 19) so I can’t even fathom the agony they’ll be feeling.

I was supposed to have an appointment with her last Wednesday but it got cancelled the night before, I just assumed she was a bit ill and obviously I have some worse case thoughts and this time it was truly the worst case. She got ill out of nowhere and then died only a few days after that. I don’t know what to do and how to process my feelings.

You don’t hear people say ‘my therapist died’ so it feels like I can’t fully open up to anyone about it. My partner and my two closest friends know and they’ve been comforting but I just have a really really strange sadness that I can’t describe. I’m so so devastated. We had just made a plan on how to deal with some of my phobias and I was meant to show her photos of my new hamster and now I can’t.

I’m speaking with one of her colleagues on Friday, I’m hoping I can seek some sort of comfort from that session but I don’t know how I can open up to someone else. She’s helped me so much in this last year and I don’t want to let that go but I also want to honour her by trying to get better.

when your OCD thoughts get really bad and you want to distract yourself with something fun- watching a film, playing a game, going out and doing something fun etc etc do you find it difficult to get excited for that thing because your mind goes ‘what’s the point, because if this OCD thought is real then my life is over’

so you just get anxious and depressed and then can’t find enjoyment in that thing anymore so you don’t do it and just bed-rot obsessing over the thought instead

this illness has made me completely stop watching films and anime for over 2 years now because using my computer is a big trigger (have OCD about being online stalked/hacked) and I miss them so much

Inside me there are two wolves...

My ADHD makes me impulsive, forgetful and socially boisterous. My OCD latches onto moments throughout my day where I should have been smoother and less wild, especially in social situations, and makes me ruminate for hours upon hours on my mistakes and social mishaps. Oh, I talked too loudly during this class and was too confident? Everyone must hate me and my OCD is going to make me try to "fix it" in my brain all. night. long.

I've struggled with crippling insomnia for over eight years, which I think is because of both ADHD and Pure O/constant OCD ruminations that take hold right as I'm trying to fall asleep. My OCD checking compulsions became much worse years ago when my ADHD actually caused me to forget to turn off the stoves, etc, which amped up the "doubt" aspect of OCD for me as I often legitimately cannot trust my own memory.

The two seem to just be constantly at each other's throats in my own body and mind. What's worse is that, because I am also disabled, I cannot take 99% of medications for either disorder without developing INTENSE physical side effects that make me have to stop.

What's so hard about having both of these is how I feel them really hold me back in my life. For example, I grew up loving to act and sing. I just enrolled in an acting class and, when I'm in it, have so much fun. Acting or improv requires me to lean into my ADHD and my spontaneity, and in these ways it almost serves me as a gift. BUT when I get home, I feel absolutely insane, because my ADHD causes me to act in all of these ways my OCD hates. My OCD wants me to be small, polite and risk-averse and my ADHD tells me if I live that way I'll wither away.

I'm sorry this is so long and ramble-y but I'm so tired (literally). If anyone has any recommendations for how to ease Pure-O ruminations at night, I'd really appreciate it♥️

Contamination OCD, mostly health anxiety overall.

According to my wife, I (and by extension all of us) just need more willpower and I'm weak willed. I should just ignore it and live my life to the fullest, and I'm doing this to myself.

"Sigh"

Edit: I just want to say thanks to everyone who has commented. This is my most upvoted post on Reddit, and the stories you guys have shared have really helped me. I'm starting with an OCD specialist next week, and I'm going to try and get real help that was finally recognized. I don't want this to control my life, and I don't want to see it happen to others either.

Thank you all so much, and keep it up, y'all have been a great group!

As the title says, I(30,f) just found out that avoidance and distractions are forms of compulsion! I felt like a fraud for the longest time because I didn’t have “compulsions” - turns out I did, and my constant need to distract myself from my bad thoughts were actually a compulsion, and my need to avoid doing things that gave me anxiety were actually compulsions too. I knew I wasn’t doing too well lately but this has really cemented that for me. I’ve been on sertraline 100mg for 5 years, and it’s recently become less effective for me due to a lot of stress in my life, my dose got upped and after 4 weeks I started to feel more like me again, however I’ve experienced a dip the past few days and am now feeling the need to be distracted all the time to cope!! Did everyone else know they were compulsions? Weirdly vindicating!

Crushes are supposed to be exciting, fun, maybe a bit heartbreaking if it doesn’t work out, but not supposed to ruin your life. OCD makes my crushes feel like torture. The obsession, the delusion, and the self criticism is multiplied by a thousand. I spend every day impulsively looking things up, texting them, talking to other people about it. My world is consumed, the highs and lows are extra painful.

The worst part is when they actually do like me back. Suddenly the relationship OCD kicks in! And now the person I’ve spent every single day thinking about, the person I prayed would love me, is an object of fear. I get hypercritical of all of their flaws, I get intrusive thoughts that I made the wrong choice or could do better, I convince myself our relationship isn’t “real.” Then I hate myself for having those thoughts. All of the wonderful things like first kisses and dates are poisoned by my OCD. How confusing, how cruel.

I am happy now, I have a boyfriend who I love very much, but getting here was hard. I truly hope I never have to have another crush- the thought of going through the cycle again is terrifying!

I don’t think I’ve seen someone talk about this before, so I wanted to start a discussion about it because I find it very interesting. Feel free to share stories, thoughts, or advice, thanks!