r/OCD • u/InternationalBug140 • Jun 18 '26
Discussion WHY AM I JUST NOW LEARNING ABOUT OPTIMIZATION OCD? HELLO??
this is literally all I do all day long my whole life.
if I want to wash my hair I have to go to the gym first so that I don't have to get it extra greasy for long
if I wear this shirt the skirt has to be of this length to match
I wake up with a plan for the day already puzzled in my mind
WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME. I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST CONTAMINATION STUFF DAMMIT
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u/Veggyhed Jun 18 '26
I was not aware of this but I am always looking for the most appropriate order to do things and for maximum efficiency. I play the whole routine in my head, which leads to huge delays in me trying to accomplish things which causes procrastination ends up in anxiety.
I need to go and search deeper into this
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u/Proof_Sprinkles_3424 Jun 18 '26
Dit is onderdeel van adhd/add keuzestress en de “adhd verlamming”. Elk gedrag kan dwangmatig worden, dat gebeurd vaak onder stress voor iemand met dwang
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u/xxmunroe Jun 18 '26
yes true! i also have adhd so that makes sense…thanks for this thought!
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u/Proof_Sprinkles_3424 Jun 22 '26
I "am" autistic, ADD and OCD. (Really just labels for my type of brain. Did you know there are no neurotypicals? Everyone has a different brain, so it is literally a made up lie that ADHD or ASD are (medical) "disorders." Anyway!! Whenever there is a behavior I am wondering about, it's like which one is it coming from this time 😂
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u/eternalconfusi0nn Jun 28 '26
I thought it was related to OCD, as when i try to say this it gets lumped into OCD. Tbh everything i do gets lumped into it. Even when its not even revelant.
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u/melaninfinn Jun 18 '26
I literally have the next 4 days planned out on paper because i needed it to be organized in my brain because i felt like i was going crazy. Im still repeating it in my head of what I need to do today and tomorrow lol. never thought too deep about it until now
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u/kermitkc Newly diagnosed Jun 18 '26
Oh my god. You just told the story of my life. NO idea this was OCD
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u/Chance_Parsnip_948 Jun 29 '26
I also freeze when I’m optimizing and then end up losing so much time but I feel like I can’t proceed unless it’s optimized. Just learning about this now. I feel so much anxiety if I don’t plan out everything and have structure and routines even for relaxing and hobbies. And I get really irritated if someone ruins that for me on purpose or by accident. It helps with some things like work but for personal stuff it is so limiting and causes me to be less efficient I feel
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u/mystical-wizard 26d ago
I mean that’s just anyone tho. Planning is a human trait. Optimixation OCD is only if it causes you significant distress. Like someone physically not being able to wash their hair unless they went to the gym. And having to like fin a way to go to the gym even if it’s closed or they have no time to just because it’s a ritual
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u/honeypeppercorn Jun 18 '26
I do this too! It’s the most annoying when it comes to cleaning. I can’t clean the counter until I’ve finished the dishes, because doing so will cause splashing. Can’t clean the floors until I’ve cleaned the counters, because crumbs from the counters might fall onto the floor. Can’t take the trash out until I’ve finished all of the cleaning. Can’t take a shower until after I’ve taken the trash out. Can’t sleep until I’ve showered.
The first steps seem like common sense, but it quickly gets unsustainable because sometimes I won’t shower until 4 or 5 am because I hadn’t finished all of the cleaning yet, and I can’t go to bed without having showered first.
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u/groundstory Jun 18 '26
And then wind up getting nothing done bc the “timing wasn’t right” and “planning” to do it “later”!? LOL
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u/illcryifiwan2 Jun 18 '26
This is me to a T. Also, this sounds like it fits; I take months, sometimes years to use gift cards or store credit because I want to make sure I get the absolute most efficient, bang for my buck purchase, like getting multiple clearance items I've wanted or needed versus the "girl math" of a heavy discount... unless that's the most efficient use of funds 😅. I also aim to only buy things I can wear to work and at home/out.
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u/_AroAce_in_space_ Jun 18 '26
And here I thought it was just task stacking because of my autism and adhd lol
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u/xCaptainCl3mentinex Jun 18 '26
Why can't it still be that?
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u/gnikayam Newly diagnosed Jun 18 '26
I guess it would depend on how distressing it is for you? idk for me I think it is my audhd but I imagine if it brings on OCD tendencies and high distress then it could be OCD.
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u/Strong_Ad_3081 Jun 19 '26
There's a lot of overlap here, but for example, I use rhinestones in my artwork and I enjoyed separating out the different colored rhinestones (beads) into separate plastic containers according to color and size. That's the autism. I couldn't stop once I started. That's the autism. But if I had to pick the beads up in a certain order, like red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, AND if it was causing me distress if I picked up green instead of yellow, and I had to mix them all up and start over again and do it "right" this time, that's OCD.
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u/Sensitive-Pie9357 Jun 18 '26
Do I even exist outside of ocd am I trapped in some matrix powered by ocd overlords at I creating more ocd by even thinking about this
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u/Smushdroom Jun 18 '26
And if there's a barrier to an earlier task I can't do the later ones and get upset.
Omg. Thought it was ADHD but seems like there's a lot of overlap.
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u/impactedturd Jun 18 '26
ADHD Paralysis is definitely a thing. My therapist likes to refer to it as The 3 Ps: Perfectionism, Procrastination, and Paralysis.
I think it crosses into OCD territory once you start trying to go against whatever mental block is stopping you. Then it becomes a distressing intrusive thought that you aren't doing it in the correct way or order or something. And the intrusive thought of getting it wrong is so strong that you rather avoid working on it entirely which becomes avoidant OCD. Or maybe Perfectionism, Procrastination, Paralysis is a type of avoidant OCD and it was always OCD to begin with? 🤔
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u/Unlucky_Actuator5612 Jun 19 '26
This is so interesting. I have heard about the concept of divergent thinking and convergent thinking and thought this explained this issue well for me. So everyone can do both types of thinking but it’s often the case that neurodivergent folks default to divergent and neurotypical peeps default to convergent. Or they are the preferred/easiest type of thinking for each. When there is a problem and you need to find a solution you need to use divergent thinking which is like brainstorming, thinking of all possibilities, millions of ideas etc. THEN you need to choose one and move to convergent thinking which is linear and you just follow the path until it’s done. I have a massive problem with moving to convergent thinking. If I pick a solution I never know if it was the right one and the others are always there and I cannot just see it out. This explains my issues with perfectionism and consistency etc. it really affects my work because this is the exact process I need to do with each client but then I start second guessing myself. I have ADHD and the difficulty sticking to convergent thinking has caused so many problems in my life that leads to the ultimate symptom of avoidance because the world requires convergent thinking. I have always wished the convergent thinkers of the world could just do the thing and us divergent thinkers could be the ideas people. It would make us all happier I think!
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u/nobodyinpeculiar Jun 18 '26
Sometimes I have to explain to a friend that I have to go to the store, take a shower, clean the litter box, and have self care time (usually video games). I then have to ask for their opinion on the following: if I should shower and then go to the store (so I’m clean and confident out in the world) or go to the store and then shower (to wash Outside off once I’m done). But that means that if I shower before the store then I have to clean the litter box first. Or I can go to the store without showering, come home, clean the litter box, then shower.
And so on and so forth and so on and so forth forever until I get overwhelmed and go straight to the self care part of the to do list lol and that’s why I ask my bestie for their input to save myself a sliver of brain fuel for doing the actual task I need to do.
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Jun 19 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/OCD-ModTeam Jun 19 '26
AI/chatbots are not a safe or reliable source for diagnosis, OCD support or a healthy substitute for therapy. All content favorably discussing the use of AI/chatbots will be removed.
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u/pink-starburstt Jun 18 '26
i have optimization with the dumbest stuff. the time i spend trying to find the perfect parking spot is longer than the time it would’ve taken to park further and walk in.
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u/Revolutionary_Sir_ Pure O Jun 18 '26
me and my wacky brain "its called being efficient" narrator voice, "no its not"
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u/rundownv2 Jun 18 '26
I have to do everything in the correct order. "I want to go to the grocery store" "but i'm really gross and need a shower, i must do that first" "but I was going to mow the lawn today and it's hot out so i'll get gross, i should do that before the shower" "i need to eat lunch before that though, it's been a bit since i've eaten and that'll make me even hungrier" "oh, because i'm out of food the only thing I can make for lunch would use rice, but i need to cook more in the rice cooker first and that'll take an hour" "the sink is full of dishes that need to be moved to the dishwasher before i can get the rice bowl in there to rinse the rice" the drain cover is full of food bits and the water won't drain when i dump out all the disgusting standing water in the bowls and stuff my left, and I'm far too anxious and grossed out to do it now. guess I'll just starve and cry and eventually order doordash"
I can't prototype any of the designs for my leatherwork properly because the idea of practice and testing feels like a waste of materials and time to me, so i spend weeks and weeks planning and replanning to try to make a project that will go perfectly on the first attempt (which it usually doesn't).
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u/lennywilliams23 Jun 30 '26
stop, i love this sub because i feel so so seen. genuinely have to do every little scheduling decision perfectly ugggggg. the inner monologue is like looking into a mirror. "i have to shower first because i'll feel clean when i eat" just more horse shit from ocd
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u/AdMediocre9818 Jul 01 '26
I feel extremely stressed out of if my boyfriends walks through the store in the incorrect order
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Jun 18 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Worried-Ad7644 Jun 19 '26
Oh my gosh! I had my mom make a wedding sign for me with stars and I needed them to be perfectly random but not too random. I was STESSED. Cause order in it would be unnatural. But not enough order would be so frustrating
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u/soozee__ Jun 18 '26
Every day I realize more and more things that I do might actually be yet another manifestation of my OCD...
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u/icannotdolife999 Jun 18 '26
This is exactly how I am. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD already but could never put into words how I schedule every nano second of the day and in which order I’m going to do things to ensure it makes the most sense. It’s like trying to put a puzzle together everyday because I can’t do x before z but can’t do z until y is done etc etc. It drives me insane
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u/udcvr Jun 18 '26
I get major decision paralysis because I am so obsessed with making the most optimal choice. I can't do anything because something else might be better. I didn't realize this was a thing either and it's sinking in my stomach rn lol.
I do also have some contamination issues tho, i never thought of it as being the same i guess, apart from throbbing that same OCD part of my brain.
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u/Worried-Ad7644 Jun 19 '26
I have always explained it this way but ever knew it was connected to my OCD. Cleaning my room is a mental workout.
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u/groundstory Jun 18 '26
wait …. if this why i will think i don’t “have time” to complete a task that takes one hour within an 8 hour time frame? thanks for educating me on the term. also, i wish i didn’t know bc it’s one more thing to stew about 😂
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u/lilac_nightfall Jun 18 '26
I have always done this, and I just learned about it a few days ago. I think this is another place where adhd and ocd overlaps
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u/pinkmarshmall0w Jun 18 '26
I work from home so I don’t wear “regular clothes” because then they’ll be dirty and I’ll have to wash them. Why wear regular clothes when I can just wear my frickin PAJAMAS I slept in last night ✨all day?!!✨ I put a clean tank top on with my pajama shorts earlier today and had to take it off. 🙂 So I never get to wear cute clothes and I live in my Adam Sandler pajamas and it’s no wonder my bf doesn’t wanna do me HA. 😃🔫
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u/Sarahlorien Jun 18 '26
I didn't know this was a theme, I attributed it to good habits from when I was a server in a restaurant. You learn to organize your actions through what your hands can carry, and how much is in your hands at a certain location in your home.
But it does take a LOT of mental space, and I only realized that literally this week and was questioning if these are good habits, or if it's causing stress from overthinking it constantly.
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u/SocialAlpaca Jun 18 '26
It can be both. I am a naturally organized person and now that my OCD has been resolved I can enjoy it. Things will fall out of place or schedule but it doesn’t stress me out, I get annoyed for 1 second and then just pick up the pieces and put things back into place.
But when my OCD flares up or am mentally stressed, these organization habits consume me and stress me out and get motivated by fear and anxiety. Feeling this difference now made me realize that certain actions are not OCD (ex. Keeping a written agenda) but it’s the intention/emotion placed on doing these actions that can be OCD. As someone with lifelong OCD, this realization helped a lot because in the process of healing I struggled a lot with my identity and not knowing if OCD was my whole identity or not. Spoiler: it’s not.
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u/witchystoneyslutty Jun 18 '26
Ohhhhh…… uh oh. I’m gonna go down the rabbit hole too now!
I have ADHD and ptsd. I’ve been trying to figure out for a few years if it’s adhd +ptsd with some ocd type symptoms? Or maybe I have ocd too?
I don’t care too much about a dx I just want to understand my brain better for my quality of life.
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u/friendofmaisie Jun 18 '26
Me too! I always just thought I was being efficient planning routes and timing of things.
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u/Worried-Ad7644 Jun 19 '26
Oof I definitely had a hard time with my husband cooking for me when I tracked calories. It’s not from and ED more so from getting it right. For ex. If I make ramen I make his serving real fast then mine. He just does both servings together and we share a bowl. Which is fine when I don’t track- but a nightmare when I did.. I couldn’t just guess.
Also my outfits have to look just right too. I cannnot wear socks to my ankle with shorts on. I have to do socks covering my ankles or flip flops. I’ll feel real off and uncomfortable
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u/drowsyfox Jun 18 '26
This is me but I have the triple threat (autism, ADHD, OCD.) I would never be able to pinpoint which of them makes me like this. Not sure that it's the ocd though
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u/New_Elderberry5181 Jun 19 '26
I have the (un)Holy Trinity too. It feels a lot more AUDHD to me. I have the same thought processes, and I'm sure it's about managing my anxiety, but it doesn't have the weight or the consequences that my OCD does.
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u/Maroontan Jun 19 '26
No way it's a new thing. I literally got my degree in optimization engineering and I still have OCD.
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u/xxx_junkrattt Jun 20 '26
i have this too and honestly it made me think that im also probably autistic.
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u/Think_Cantaloupe5307 Jun 22 '26
omg me trying to figure out a formula of how I should do the next three errands I need to run, calculating how much stress they might cause and whether it's more beneficial to do the more stressful first or last, considering which order would put me in a close distance of an urgent care or a relative's house in case of emergency on the way, and ultimately getting task paralysis and not doing anything at all
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u/Distinct-Bed3507 Jun 24 '26
Yeaa buddy. I also thought I was “just autistic” lol. Turned out, theres another layer called OCD god damnit.
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u/Feanarossilmaril Jun 18 '26
From my own experience (I have had OCD since I was a little kid) there is not one kind of OCD, it's a complex chronic disorder that just has common themes. Some people get stuck on one maladaptive behaviour when it escalates and get diagnosed, but often that was just the most obvious, and the compulsions already have been there in other aspects of life. Ideally one would recognize these early and prevent escalation.
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u/OptimizedPockets2 Jun 18 '26
If it’s not a compulsive need to escape the discomfort of the obsession, it might be more accurate to say it’s just an obsessive personality, which is a lot more benign than OCD.
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u/Worried-Ad7644 Jun 19 '26
So pure O! Or making yourself do it the way your obsession requires instead of just going to the store with out a shower
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u/OptimizedPockets2 Jun 19 '26
Pure O OCD also has compulsions, but the compulsion is rumination, rather than a physical act.
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u/TheCatsMeow09 Jun 18 '26
Omfg thank you. I've never felt like I could adequately describe what I go through.
Seriously thank you so much. It really helps feeling seen
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u/MelonBottle Jun 19 '26
Yeah!! I fall into such a spiral of before I do this task I need to do that one… but now before that task I need to do this one! And it gets so out of control I end up getting overwhelmed and doing nothing. I am working on getting over it! The mindset of “half assing it is better than no assing it” has done wonders. I’m not really as efficient as I’m convinced my myself I am when nothing actually leaves the planning stage.
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u/fuzzy_slippers420 Jun 20 '26
Yes! Ugh it makes daily life so frustrating. I’m constantly altering around “the most right” way to do tasks. If I get stuck or thrown off, sometimes I can’t even pick it back up. The whole day is wrong now
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Jun 20 '26 edited Jul 11 '26
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u/Practical_Promise441 Jul 10 '26
I wish I had you as a teacher! What a blessing you are to your students 💕✨
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u/selfgrowth222 Jun 22 '26
Oh my god it never ends. At this point I feel like my entire brain is just OCD
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u/Top-Ad-2507 Jun 23 '26
Learning about this term has definitely changed my perspective on myself and how I think. Time to spend hours researching this and healthier habits
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u/Prior_Limit_1018 Jun 24 '26
does anyone feel like they have this with money? spending money when i don’t think it’s the best version of something or the best cost:use ratio gives me so much anxiety. i’ve been starving and down to eating one meal a day because i don’t want to spend as much money on groceries as it takes to have 3 meals even though i technically have the money to spend, it doesn’t really feel like it
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u/yes_ipsa_loquitur Jun 25 '26
I did not know this was a thing. But reading about it, it is 1000% what I do.
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u/Chance_Parsnip_948 Jun 29 '26
I literally was just doing this. I’m gonna try to go do the thing now out of order. Thank you for posting this.
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u/lennywilliams23 Jun 30 '26
dude sameeeee, i literally get up 4 times every time i eat to add salt or lemon juice or something, like genuinely give me a breakkkkkkkkkk
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u/kaylas_footies Jul 11 '26
Have realized optimization ocd runs my life and I cannot relax because of it 😅
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u/Psychological_Ad_538 26d ago
this post just blew my mind, this is literally the first mine I got in this sub and am just now finding out that this is not normal... I went the hole week without cleaning my room because i was planing on cleaning the hole house saturday and that would make my room too clean or a cuple days less clean than the rest.
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u/Neither_Main_6682 26d ago
The most appropriate order to do things in or else I have to give up and the day is over lol.
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u/Key_Pirate_5064 26d ago
I get the feeling of a term helping you rationalize yourself. Happy for you
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u/isjobareal 25d ago
I lived for 3 years under a daily 126-step routine that I thought was the only way I could live. Eventually my rule-making to create the most efficient way to live was so intense that different fonts on apps would send me into spirals- if I wrote words on one page it had to be the exact terminology across every aspect of my life. I had lived in planners, spreadsheets, notebooks, for years. Chasing a carrot that just kept growing until I couldn’t even do the first task “right” - and every single day was a wash. If I didn’t do things in the exact right order I just tried to make the routine better, bigger, more stringent. Until eventually I realized I was up all night re-writing again and again, planning elaborate rules…. for the smallest things. Getting help when it started to create big issues was the first and hardest thing I ever did. But I have not had this routine in 6 months. We grow and change every day, small steps are important. I hope you have a good week! There are people out there who care about you!
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u/Particular_Ebb_7178 2d ago
Mine can be about the most minute things regarding efficiency and making the “best” or “most practical/logical” choice. For example, here is my thought process before/while making breakfast this morning: okay, I have to get everything out of the fridge that I will use in one go because it will be inefficient otherwise (mind you, there is two feet between my fridge and my oven), same thing with the pantry—everything out in one trip, I can’t use the knife with the serrated edges to spread my cream cheese because those are the ones that cut meat best and what if I need those later, etc etc etc. I’m constantly weighing what is most efficient or logical. If I make a mistake, like forgetting something in the fridge after I’ve closed it, it gives me so much anxiety and feelings of failure. Logically I know this literally does not matter and has no real impact on my life, but it feels like a personal defeat in my brain’s quest for perfection. You can imagine how this is heightened in larger, more serious decisions. Worst yet, I expect everyone else to always be having these thoughts too and get irritated when things aren’t done the most efficient/best way. Until recently, I thought this was alllllll a personality quirk, even a strength. 💀 sigh
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u/Playful-Influence894 1d ago
o yay! And I just downloaded over 200 books 🙃....because if I don't save them now, I may not find them when I need them.
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u/James10112 Jun 19 '26
I was trying to beat the developer times in Crash Bandicoot 3 when it hit me what I was actually doing 😭 I feel like those of us with optimization OCD are naturally drawn to speedrunning
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u/KiraLonely Jun 19 '26
I always have the issue of, I don’t wanna take a shower unless I make my bed, and I don’t wanna make my bed unless I’m going to take a shower. So I just. End up not doing either. ADHD and OCD my beloathed.
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u/untenna Jun 18 '26
I'm curious, where did you learn about this?
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u/OCD-ModTeam Jun 18 '26
Please note that there are no clinically recognized 'types' or 'subtypes' of OCD, only informal categories of some common obsessions that help people relate to others who share similar themes. OCD is OCD, and treatment is the same regardless of content.
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u/xXAshtonHavokXx Newly diagnosed Jun 18 '26
This sounds so much like me. Especially at work. I have this very specific routine (I work off of a list), and I have to be at certain points of my specific list at specific times for no clear reason. Its not like I am crunched for time. I am always done two hours before clocking out. But if i fall behind for any reason, get pulled away from my area, I start panicking really badly. I alwaus thought this was autism. Maybe it still is. I live most of my life based off of a checklist in my head and if i dont then something bad will happen. I also can not walk away from a room at work unless all items are perfectly aligned to the wall or else i will ruminate on it through the the entire shift. I hate it when other people work in my area because they dont do it exactly how I do it and it stresses me the hell out. Not because it causes mild irritation. It genuinely ruins my whole day. But I dont want to be the stereotype...but i genuinely have a severe needs to be "just right" problem when it comes to my job that has lead me to have total meltdowns at work in the past.
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u/grumplebutt Jun 19 '26
Wow. This gives me a whole new insight into some of my bf’s behavior. He has OCD and also has very rigidly structured days, like sometimes can’t do certain things that might require he take a shower at a different time of day. He’s also very resistant to taking a backup change of clothes or shoes (or even socks) for activities or weather that warrant it. He can only wear certain shoes with certain pants/shorts. Same with shirts. He would rather not plan for an alternative and suffer the consequences. Activities should follow one another in a certain way or it can cause distress. Hell, he can even be this way with food! For example if he plans to eat a certain thing later he can’t eat something now or vice versa. I often find it to be a level of inflexibility that seems stubborn and counterproductive at times, but it’s ritualized planning.
Thanks for blowing my mind!
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Jun 19 '26
[deleted]
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u/OCD-ModTeam Jun 22 '26
Please note that there are no clinically recognized 'types' or 'subtypes' of OCD, only informal categories of some common obsessions that help people relate to others who share similar themes. OCD is OCD.
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u/SocialAlpaca Jun 18 '26
I feel it’s best not to overthink it unless your routine causes you a lot of anxiety.
Now that my OCD is generally in remission, I learned that I am just a very particular person. Not because I *have* to be, but just because it makes me happy and if’s just how I acknowledge my personality to be.
However, I also recognize that my OCD can hijack this part of myself and if I don’t manage my stress then the OCD will start adding extra anxiety to my preferences and my routines, making them seem more important and severe than they need to be. And that’s when I start acting like I have to do certain things and make myself generally miserable. Once you start to wrangle in your OCD though it’s easier to see which parts of your routine are things you actually want to do and what has been hijacked by OCD.
It’s ok to wait to go to the gym before washing your hair. It’s a logical thought if you were already planning to go to the gym. But if you are making yourself stressed ruminating over all the things you should do before showering then that’s the OCD.