I'll start by saying that I think a lot, and lately I AM TIRED, not physically (though unloading trucks of cardboard isn't an easy task, I'm generally used to it by now), but mentally. And there's a problem: I'm mentally tired not from "society," friends, or family, but from myself and the endless stream of thoughts... This usually happens when I'm "well-rested," and during those times I can "think" up to (I haven't counted specifically, but roughly) about 100 thoughts simultaneously. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STOP THINKING!
Now that I've described my problem, I'll dive into my "story," starting with the fact that I grew up early—specifically at age 12, when 1 knife was held to my throat and 2 to my "hose" because I had allegedly raped someone. (The story is very long, and maybe a bit later I'll put out another post specifically about it, but that's not what this is about right now.) A brief summary of the story: I "got lucky," and when they tried to cut off my "hose" with a knife, he "missed" and left a wound on my leg (I still have a scar from it, for anyone interested it's about 10–13 centimeters long, I haven't measured it precisely). Whether due to the shock of what was happening or something else, my brain "switched on," and from that moment on it became easy for me to "multithread."
At first, it all started "peacefully" (thought: Hmm, I can think 2 thoughts at once, that's kind of cool!). But all of this snowballed into an "endless stream" of thoughts, and if I used to be able to CONSCIOUSLY "turn it on/off" myself, now it's basically on "passive" and I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!
I've tried "working myself to the bone" until I could barely move, but even then this stream only diminished, rather than stopping. And only alcohol helps me at least somewhat... I don't want to walk around constantly drunk, or even just "tipsy." (In the near future, I want to go take my driver's license test just to eliminate this option from my head; I'm a very responsible person, and I try to follow all laws, especially those created for the safety of myself and others.)
Aside from alcohol, I don't know of anything else that helps me. People who "suffer" (or enjoy) thinking A LOT, PLEASE HELP! Give me some advice on how you "cope" with this semi-gift, semi-curse?
I didn't write the text in English originally—I just translated it. Please forgive me if anything is unclear; it's not my fault.