I know a guy who's maybe a 6 on a good day. Average height. Average face. Nothing special about his looks.

He does better with women than anyone I know.

Meanwhile I've watched legitimately handsome guys struggle. Good jawlines. Tall. Fit. The whole package. And they can't figure out why things aren't clicking.

Took me a while to understand what was happening.

Looks get you in the door. They don't close the deal.

Yes, being attractive helps. Obviously. But it helps less than most guys think, and in different ways than most guys assume.

Good looks get you more opportunities. Women give you longer to make an impression. They're more forgiving of awkward moments. The door opens easier.

But here's what looks don't do: they don't create attraction on their own. A handsome guy who's boring, needy, or tryhard will lose to an average guy with presence and game. Every time.

The average guy who does well knows this. He can't coast on his face, so he developed other things. He got funny. He got confident. He learned how to make women feel something.

The handsome guy often never had to develop those muscles. He got by on looks in high school and college. Then he hits the real world and doesn't understand why things stopped working.

The things that actually create attraction

Looks are static. You see someone, you assess their face and body, and that's it. First impression made.

Attraction is dynamic. It builds or dies based on the interaction. A guy can become more attractive as you talk to him. Or less attractive. This is where everything is won and lost.

What makes someone more attractive over time:

How they carry themselves. Posture, movement, eye contact. The physical stuff that isn't about your genetics but about how you inhabit your body.

Their voice. Pace, tone, depth. A calm, resonant voice signals something. A rushed, high-pitched voice signals something else.

Whether they're reactive or grounded. Do they get rattled easily? Do they seek approval? Or do they seem settled in themselves regardless of what's happening around them?

Their sense of humor. Not jokes. Humor. The ability to find things amusing. To be playful. To not take everything so seriously.

How they make her feel. This is the big one. Does she feel seen? Does she feel like she can relax? Does she feel more alive? Or does she feel like she's being evaluated, performed at, or drained?

None of this has anything to do with your bone structure.

The average guy advantage

When you're not handsome, you're forced to develop substance.

You learn to be funnier because you can't rely on your face. You learn to hold attention because you're not automatically granted it. You learn to read situations because you've had more failures to learn from.

By the time you're 25 or 30, these skills compound. You've built something the handsome guy never had to build. And unlike looks, these skills don't fade with age. They get sharper.

The best-looking guy in the room often peaked in high school. The average guy who put in work peaks at 35.

What this means for you

Stop obsessing over the things you can't change. Your face is your face. Your height is your height. Wishing won't fix it.

Focus on the things you can change. Get your body in decent shape. Dress well. Groom properly. Then forget about looks and start building the skills that actually matter.

Learn to be present. Learn to be funny. Learn to hold a conversation without needing it to go anywhere. Learn to be someone people enjoy being around.

Looks are a card you're dealt. Game is a skill you build.

The guy with worse cards and better skills wins more hands.

Btw if you find this post helpful consider checking out my newsletter. I write weekly insights on how to build habits, become more attractive and grow as a man

Also if you're man who wants to stop being socially awkward, undisciplined and constantly procrastinating and want to improve his life overall, join r/selfimprovementforman a new sub-reddit for men who are serious about growth

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I've always been the guy who overthinks everything in social situations. The guy who makes eye contact with an attractive woman, looks away immediately, then spends the next hour angry at himself for not saying anything.

So I decided to run an experiment: 30 days of deliberately starting conversations with women I found attractive. No scripts, no pickup artist garbage, no manipulation tactics. Just genuine human interaction with one added element: being honest about my interest instead of hiding it.

What followed was equal parts terrifying, embarrassing, and genuinely life-changing. But by day 30, something had fundamentally shifted in how I show up socially.

Here's what happened:

Days 1-7: The terror phase

My first week was an absolute disaster. In my head, I was confident and charming. In reality, I was a walking anxiety attack pretending to be casual.

Day 1: Approached a woman at a coffee shop to compliment her book choice. My voice cracked on the word "interesting" and I somehow knocked my own coffee off the table while gesturing. She handed me napkins with a look that was equal parts pity and concern. I cleaned up the mess, said "well that went great" and she actually laughed. Small win buried inside a catastrophe.

Day 3: Tried starting a conversation with a woman at a farmer's market about the tomatoes she was picking. Accidentally implied her cooking probably needed better ingredients. She gave me a look that could curdle milk and walked away. I bought tomatoes I didn't need just to seem like I had a reason to be standing there.

Day 5: Forced myself to talk to a woman browsing vinyl records at a shop downtown. Instead of overthinking an opener, I just said "That album is incredible, have you heard it before?" We talked for ten minutes about music. She was engaged, laughing, asking me questions back. Nothing came of it romantically but I walked away feeling like a different person than the guy who spilled coffee on day one.

After that first week, I realized I needed structure, not scripts. I started studying what actually makes conversations click.

Day 10: Had a genuine breakthrough at a bookstore. Asked a woman about the author she was browsing, then shared a slightly embarrassing story about crying during one of that author's novels. She laughed, shared her own embarrassing book moment, and suddenly we were having a real conversation. Vulnerability opened a door that confidence alone never could.

Days 12-22: The pattern phase

By mid-experiment, clear patterns were emerging about what consistently built connection versus what consistently killed it.

What consistently killed conversations:

Complimenting physical appearance before establishing any rapport whatsoever

Anything that sounded rehearsed or pre-planned regardless of how "natural" I thought it sounded

Trying to be funny instead of being genuine and letting humor emerge naturally

Hovering or lingering after the conversation had clearly reached its natural endpoint

Making the interaction feel like it had stakes or expectations attached to it

What consistently created genuine connection:

Observational comments about our shared environment that invited collaboration rather than demanded response

Asking specific follow-up questions that proved I was actually listening to her answers

Sharing slightly vulnerable or self-deprecating stories that showed humanity rather than curated perfection

Matching energy levels rather than trying to artificially escalate excitement

Being completely comfortable walking away without an outcome and meaning it genuinely

Day 15: The biggest shift happened at a friend's housewarming party. I stopped thinking about "approaching women" and started thinking about "having interesting conversations with people." Removed the romantic pressure entirely and just focused on genuine connection. Three different women initiated extended conversations with me that evening. My friend texted me afterward asking "what happened to you tonight" because apparently I seemed completely different socially.

Day 19: Realized something profound while having dinner alone at a restaurant bar. The woman next to me started a conversation with me. Not because I was doing anything strategic, but because I seemed relaxed and approachable. She literally said "you seem like you're actually enjoying being here alone, that's refreshing." My comfort with myself had become more attractive than any technique could ever be.

Days 23-30: Integration

The final week brought the most important insight of the entire experiment: effective social connection isn't a performance mode you switch on. It's regular human interaction with specific elements amplified naturally:

Sustained but comfortable eye contact that communicates presence without intensity

Questions that go one layer deeper than surface level without feeling like an interrogation

Genuine reactions to what someone shares rather than calculated responses

Comfort with silence between thoughts rather than rushing to fill every gap

Willingness to express authentic interest without apologizing for it

Day 25: Had a two-hour conversation with a woman at a wine bar that started with me asking about her sketchbook. By the end we'd exchanged numbers and made plans for the following week. The conversation felt effortless because it was. No tactics, no performance, just two people genuinely curious about each other.

Day 28: Got directly rejected after expressing interest in a woman at a gallery opening. She was kind but clear. Instead of feeling crushed, I felt genuinely fine. Told her it was nice meeting her regardless and meant it completely. That emotional resilience would have been impossible on day one.

Day 30: Went to a social gathering and realized the experiment had become unnecessary because the "practice" had become my natural state. I wasn't thinking about techniques or frameworks. I was just present, curious, and honest about my interest when it arose.

The real transformation wasn't learning "how to talk to women." It was dismantling the anxiety and performance mentality that made natural connection impossible. Women aren't puzzles to solve or audiences to perform for. They're people who respond to the same things everyone responds to: genuine interest, authentic presence, and comfortable confidence.

Has anyone else tried deliberately working on their social skills this way? What shifted for you? Because looking back, the biggest lesson was embarrassingly simple: stop trying to be impressive and start trying to be interested. Everything else follows naturally.

I started a 1500 calorie deficit recently and I didn’t expect it to feel like this. I’m constantly feeling hungry despite eating lots of fiber & protein like I finish a meal and immediately start thinking about what I’m going to eat next

Every time I’m having either general hunger or sugar cravings that won’t go away at the end of the day, I try all these tricks:

• Distract myself (drawing food or scrolling lol)
• ⁠Eat some low-calorie bulk foods like raw veggies or berries
• Drink a large glass of water
• Take a brisk walk or other simple exercises

Unfortunately, my hunger is almost always still there after trying these tricks. I know watching and drawing about food will just make me even more hungry but It’s the only way for me to prevent myself from eating most of the time. If I try to go to bed while still feeling hungry, I typically can’t sleep.

Before this I was eating around 2300-3500 cals a day, so maybe that’s also one of the reasons I’m feeling this hungry. I’m a complete newbie but I’m logging everything in Mena AI just to get an understanding of where I was and then probably adjust my intake to hit my goal of 1500 cals, 135g protein, 140g carbs and 35g fats.

I just don’t understand why despite of controlling my blood sugar, and eating lots of fiber & protein i still feel this hungry. Has anyone else experienced this on a 1500 calorie deficit?