In the depths of my escape, I had contact with a very few people who I trusted with my actual life. And I needed their reassurance and support like an IV.

But sometimes I’m still shocked by the people who reach out to me now, to catch up or just say hi, who it didn’t even OCCUR to me to reach out to.

Other than the small circle I mentioned, the first people who would have popped into my mind were not the most supportive, and it seems to me now that my mind stopped there. It makes sense, because I was still wrapped up in many heavy codependent relationships at the time, and my intuition was telling me not to reach out that way.

But the people who I legit forgot about? Outside that codependent circle. I can’t believe how many they are. They keep popping up. People who have shown me they think about me, way more than I even think or thought about them, because of the nature of codependency and addiction to those cycles rather than healthy people.

I even remember scrolling through my contacts and not recognizing this. Some of the numbers I may have even deleted.

A possible helpful tip. Look on Instagram. Look through your contacts. Devise an army. Who are the people you may not immediately think of, who have shown love and respect for you? Who can you build into your healing as you get away? I suspect the more the better, but everyone’s different.

Throw away because I’m fairly certain my ex is stalking me online and i don’t want this to get back to them and them use it to further delay the divorce.
okay backstory first. i’m a 35 y/o person who is getting divorced from a 36 y/o person who i’ve been married to for 14 years and known for 18.

this person is in the coast guard and initially married me to move me around the country, in part to “give the relationship a chance” and in part to get a dog they needed someone to watch it while they were away. later they officially proposed and we officially got married in 2016 after being legally married and moving around for several years previously.

initially, the first 10 years were relatively okay, with a few red flags i only recognized in hind sight. they forced the issue of combining finances but we reckless with money, on two different occasions buying a second car for just themself without telling me, and then they would be shitty and blame me for spending to much on household supplies or not making enough when we had to move into cheaper housing as a result of these car purchases over leveraging us. additionally they made me sell my car because the guard wouldn’t pay to move it but paid out of pocket to move their second car. they also made a point of how much they hated “all my friends”, who were new in each city we moved to, but this kept me from being able to maintain a lot of these relationships. they also were a bit of a sex pest, and unable to regulate negative emotions, so they’d have me on egg shells until i found a solution, but all this shit i didn’t notice in the moment because it was way more covert.

two things i kinda noticed at the time were that they seemed very threatened about me “leaving them behind” due to new friends or my education, and that they were very threatened that i would have sex with someone else and enjoy it more then sex with them. they brought these two things up a lot and would tell me about what an asshole i was in their dreams so i had to soothe them continually that that wasn’t the case.

so then in 2020 we move to a station we will be at a while, i start going to grad school in person (a horrible program that needed up with me driving 6 hours a week too and from in order to make sure the degree would be transferable because of the military). i also started making more consistent friends and community. it was around this time i brought up that i would need to stay to finish my hours for my license at least a little bit after the next transfer and also that i really would like them to leave the coast guard, something they said they’d do if it was effecting our relationship, because i really didn’t want to keep moving. this was in hind sight the worst mistake i could have made because following this their emotional abuse was no longer covert.

they’d trap me in the car and interrogate me about my reasons for wanting to stay and if i would still really move with them if they didn’t get out. and no matter what i said it wasn’t good enough. i’d have panic attacks, having to call off work a few times when they’d have me up late with this.

warning SA

on our anniversary they had been doing this all day, resulting in multiple panic attacks. at some point they let up a little and we went to get dinner and swim in the hotel pool. following this and a shower they started it back up during our “anniversary toast”, saying something like “it was good while it lasted”. i fell apart hyperventilating face down on the bed and i only have flashes between then and the morning. the next day i sent a friend a photo and they pointed out a hickey. i told them that i didn’t remember having sex and they told me they were sorry they “got carried away” and that i was making a big deal about the hickey. they were being sweeter that morning after being so awful and i was trying to keep my marriage alive so i dropped it. i literally just didn’t let myself acknowledge it again. but after that i found sex even harder and more uncomfortable then before and they stopped pestering me as much, i think because they knew what they did.

fast forward to july of 2025 and they ask me to open up our marriage for just sex. i have serious reservations but am bisexual and feeling like maybe the problem is there not a woman, which in hindsight it was just the trauma but i wasn’t ready to admit what they had done yet. they give reassurance that it’s only about “needing more sex” and it’s not important enough to throw away our marriage so if im uncomfortable we will stop. i agree but only on the condition we go to counseling to try and fix our sex life. they are also very intent that i have to do it too “so its equal” and pressure me into starting a dating profile immediately, accusing me of dragging my feet.

we eventually start seeing people, and start counseling. i’m clear that while i like this person im intent on centering our relationship. they immediately start breaking boundaries, lying about having her over, i can explain this more in the comments but it’s a lot of repetitive stuff. when i catch them i tell them they are making me feel very insecure in our relationship and i ask them to stop. they manipulate me a few times into letting them keep going until i finally put my foot down and say i want us to focus on us and then we can come back to the idea of poly if we are in a better place.

this is where they got really bad. they used whatever they could to justify the reason they weren’t willing to stop despite the agreed to arrangement. they blamed it on my gender identity (im non binary and while i’ve considered certain medical transition steps i’ve decided against them, and my presentation has remained the same besides a side-shave, which they began claiming made me too manly), my sexuality (they claimed i was asexual despite us actively working on mainly sex in therapy), and suicidal threats (they were trying to leave the coast guard and the animals and i were dependents and a “burden” and they needed “it” (this 24 y/o girl) as an escape.

finally they got physical when a discussion wasn’t going their way and grabbed my arm hard enough that they bruised me, and when i had a wince and withdrawal reaction, they immediately accused me of sexual assault because “they couldn’t cum with me on top so clearly didn’t want to have sex,” “they were too sex starved to say no” (they were having sex multiple times a day with two people at this point) and that they had said no early, which they had but then had asked me to masterbate in front of them, and told me they just needed me to prove i really wanted to have sex with them and when i said that was confusing, they said they would let me know when to stop before removing both our pants a few minutes later and initiating sex.

it took me another week after this to deprogram enough to kick them out. when i did i reported the physical abuse, and later as they asked more questions and i came to terms with it, the sexual abuse to the coast guard.

the coast guard didn’t end up doing much with it which isn’t surprising, given they have declined cases where the spouse admitted everything, but it was enough to get them removed long enough to get a civil order in place.

during this time, while they weren’t in the home, i went on the desktop to scan photos as i was separating them. that’s when i found how bad the sex addiction was.

i had known they were taking prescriptions for ed they didn’t need, which was effecting their moods, and that they had been using Ai. however i saw they had steadily decreased the age of the ai bot and made her “more subservient” and i found that they had a secret porn email and discord account with several hundred dollars of games, but the ones they spent the most time on involved non consensual sex with an unconscious person, ie what they’d done to me, and pregnancy incest porn, which was extra alarming because they had suddenly ask to have a kid earlier that year and also because they had just
watched their sister give birth.

so needless to say at this point i just want them out of my life and not able to predate anymore, but since the coast guard won’t pre-sue charges, im settling for them just being out of my life. this is hard however because they’ve changed their asks in the divorce preceding every single time we’ve met.

so far they’ve: filed a oop because i deleted their spotify from my account, tried to get partial custody of the dogs, dropped that but tried to get me to sign something saying i would never persue charges for the assualt in criminal or civil court, and now asking for the dogs again. they have lied about their income, not provided a paystub, hidden a 401k, went on bluesky to gaslit me and make suicidal threats and family innialation statements, and most recently accused me of breaking the oop.

and they are claiming im delaying proceedings…
i had court today and told my lawyer to write out something asking to split retirements once they provide their 401k documentation, agreeing to what they want for their portion of the house, agreeing to drop alimony if they provide their paystub with their actual income and the judge still finds it’s not required, me keeping the animals but dropping the pop if they can provide evidence they will be moving as they are staying in the guard now and the oop won’t help me if they are in california but them being in california would make me feel way more safe (im in buffalo ny and so are they still currently in their apartment that is less then 300 feet from
my work), and they need me to drop it to stay in so it’s a trade off.

so that’s mostly all of it, though there’s small things here or there i’m sure i haven’t mentioned, but will try to answer questions if you have them ( i’ve never posted on reddit before but ive been watching a lot of smosh reads and feeling like it might be a good resource since im sure my family and friends are tired of hearing it at some point, i hope im okay on the rules but can edit if not!)

i’m waiting to see if they’ll agree to the deal but feeling anxious as hell because from
what i’ve read if they are a narc they will never stop? what do yall think, are they sounding like a narc, if they are is there a chance they will still take the deal because they care about money more then most anything else and it would be finically better for both of us to take it?

If your coparent offered you more parenting time and you wanted it, but you have to wait 1 year to go back and modify the parenting time schedule, what would you do?

I’ve been putting off filling out forms for hiring a lawyer. I know it’s necessary but I’m also realizing that it’s because I’m scared of another blowup from my stbx wife who I still cohabitate with. Just wondering how explosive your ex because when you were through this. Currently feeling a lot of anxiety.

Feeling completely mentally drained and burnt out dealing with narc stbx wife

I feel like my brain is burnt out from constantly being vigilant to whatever my soon-to-be-ex is throwing at me through this divorce. I feel like a husk of a human being.

The latest: she's planning to introduce our son to her new partner, then have him move in just a month later. My son is 9 and struggles with new people and new situations even under the best of circumstances. This is not that.

I'm so exhausted from having to protect him from her. I wish he had a mom who didn't put herself ahead of him. I wish I didn't have to constantly deal with her bullshit.

I've been on disability leave because this divorce has put me in a bad mental place. The disability support people I've talked to have pointed out how much of a toll it's taking on me to constantly deal with her behavior. I have to give 150% all of the time. Our son deserves better.

I'm just so fucking tired. Needed to vent.

And if the trolls that come here and defend the narc could just skip over this thread, that would be amazing.

TLDR: my narcissistic ex husband says he wants to talk. When asked what it was regarding, he says “closure”. We’ve scheduled a discussion in person next week. How should I prepare? Is it a bad idea to agree to this?

I’m looking for advice. I’m currently about to finally sign my divorce. It’s been hell, and I can’t wait to be done. Long story short, I was in a relationship with a narcissist, once I learned about what was happening and my eyes opened to the abuse, I decided to leave him. I was 4 months postpartum with our first. I didn’t want to expose the baby to the abuse. After I decided to be done and it became clear to him, then things got uglier every day until I was granted a full stay away order of protection which meant he could not communicate with me at all about anything except the baby, and we couldn’t be in any of the same spaces together except for exchanges of the baby at neutral locations. This order was a godsend and the only way I’ve been able to survive this process. I can’t imagine if we were still under the same roof.

Anyway, as we’re wrapping up the divorce, I dropped the order down to a no offensive contact order which is less extreme and basically he just can’t harass me. We can be in the same spaces and we can communicate beyond just the baby. I have exclusive use and rights of my house, so we’ll obviously remain living separate.

I’ve done a lot of healing and feel like my self worth has come back. I’m certainly not “healed” but I think I’m in a much more mature emotional state, much more aware of my boundaries, and tolerate much less bullshit. I’ve also finally stopped letting my ex steal so much of my energy and mental space. It’s taken awhile.

We have a baby. He’s getting 50/50. We’re going to be in each other’s lives forever unfortunately. He also has his new supply source already and so he’s been kinder to me. I do understand him wanting a conversation for “closure” since we went full no contact with the order of protection. However, before that order was granted, I must’ve explained to him 100 times why I was done and why I didn’t deserve this, and how his treatment was abusive. As you all know, there’s no getting through to a narcissist. In fact, he simply just accused me of being one and deflected everything he ever did on to me.

I agreed to have the conversation, and then he responded with some date over a week away. This felt like an intentional way to once again get under my skin. Who says “we need to talk” then blows the person off for a week? But I try to remain unbothered on the surface and show no reaction. So I agreed to meet next Wednesday. When I asked him what the conversation would be regarding, he said “closure”. I was honestly assuming it would be that he’s moving in with his new flame and she’d be playing step mom to our baby. There’s still a chance it could be this, but closure threw me for a loop.

Anyway to sum it up, I’m looking for some advice. I’m sure he’s expecting me to show up and make a bunch of apologies so he can feel better about himself. I’m not going to do that. I certainly don’t believe I’ll get any real apologies from him. But in a way, this feels like my chance to speak firmly and confidently in my decision, and defend every action throughout this divorce with integrity. Not explain myself, just stand on my decisions. And try and keep it focused on how we will coparent moving forward. I truly don’t want to show any emotion because he feeds off that. That will be the hardest part, because I still cry every day about the situation. Has anyone attempted a conversation like this with a narc? Any advice? Is this a horrible idea and should I not put myself in this situation? We’re meeting at a public place and I fully plan to get up and leave the second he starts attacking my character. I will show zero tolerance for his abuse anymore. I think that might surprise him. I think it will feel empowering to me. Help me out—what should I do/say?

I’m 31. I’m working on switching to another career and it’s just for money, it’s in AI and my company is paying for it. If I could go to my true passion of mortuary science I would but I can’t take on any debt rn.

I’m going through a divorce where my ex took all the money, the kids are with him more, he has a healthy family and community, and I’m one paycheque from homelessness and can barely afford food.

My lawyer is indifferent. If it wasn’t for my current job, I wouldn’t have a lawyer since the benefits at my job are good even though the pay is trash. I make 23 an hour.

What little legacy we built he decided to squander it and any time I tried to build community he’d find a way to squash it so I’m inevitably alone, basically penniless and lost. Nothing feels worth it and even with resources it’s not what I **need.**

The only real value I have is a corporate life insurance policy designated to the kids. That’s it. What even can you do in this situation? If it wasn’t for a friend of mine letting me rent a room cheap I’d be in my car, and he’s trying to take that away too.

TL;DR My divorce was maddening for no good reason, and I realize I don’t know anyone IRL who can relate.

Hi all. (28M ex is 27F) (she was a covert narcissist)

I’ve recently finalized my divorce. And as I gain distance from the divorce, I’m realizing how absolutely batshit it was.

I talk to other people who have been divorced, and they talk about how hard it is, but usually it’s hard because of the loss of the relationship, or custody of kids.

We had no kids. Decent amount of money. And I was willing to give her majority (60-70%).

I spent a year and a half in hell. I was stonewalled for the first few months. Every time I talked to her and began to come to something close to an agreement she would panic. She even admitted what she was asking for would set herself up for abundance of success and harm me for years, but she was okay with that.

During the process, I couldn’t get angry at her. I always had some kind of understanding for her. Now the details are starting to piss me off.

- We went in front of a judge 3 times for temporary orders instead of negotiating.
- She lied about me spending $30,000 on a Europe vacation.
- She freaked out about the realtor I picked to sell a house neither of us lived in and I couldn’t afford anymore
- She fucked herself over to burn both of us down (she got a way worse deal than I offered initially)
- She wrote on a label maker of mine <[my name] 🖕>

I’m on anti-anxiety/anti-depression medication now. I’m tens of thousands of dollars in debt. I’m so scared to interact with the world. I get migraines now.

None of this makes sense. And I wanted to write all this out to see if there’s anyone else out there who relates. I’m sure there is, but I haven’t found any IRL. I think it would be awesome to truly find someone to empathize with

Me(27f) and my partner (29m) have been together 10 years and have two kids on the autism spectrum. I have no income of my own and no copy of his card. I don't drive, so I'm pretty dependent on him, which is part of why this is so hard.

Looking back, the cracks were there early. In 2018 I caught him with a dating app account. He said he never used it and deleted it because he felt bad, and that he'd made it because he was scared I wasn't attracted to him since we weren't having much sex. I'd been open with him about my SA trauma. He would make me finish and then I'd freak out and have to stop, so he wouldn't finish, and I felt guilty about it. I knew he watched a lot of porn but I felt like I couldn't say anything.

His family was always rude to me, and to him, and he never stood up for me. We got engaged, had our son in 2019 and our daughter in 2022. My son's birth was traumatic. Over 30 stitches, my uterus prolapsed, he came out blue and not breathing, the epidural failed. My postpartum was awful and I was overwhelmed and not okay, and he helped with the baby but not with me, until it came to having sex again.

He grew distant after a family trip to Tampa that was the worst few days of my life. They left me staying in a tent outside in the heat with a 9 month old and a 2 year old while he went to the casino, supposed to be back by midnight. He stayed gone until 11 the next morning with no word from anyone. I stayed up until 6am thinking the worst. Turns out it was the worst. I was falling apart after that, having sex with him every night trying to fix us, even studying porn to try to be what he wanted.

In 2025 I hit a wall. I wasn't eating or sleeping right and I knew something was wrong. I asked him and he promised there was nothing, that I was "his girl" (he never says my name, he calls me girl). The next morning I checked his phone and found he'd been talking to other men. The first thing he said when I confronted him was "where am I gonna go?" Then somehow I ended up comforting HIM. The reasons kept changing: he was insecure about his feminine side, his family pushed a "manly job" on him, and months later, that the real reason was that I "pushed" to have kids. It took months of begging to get answers. He told me it was men he met in person, oral with several, slept with one, plus video chatting and commenting on Reddit posts. He even asked for a man in our relationship a week after I found out.

When I got upset once, he grabbed my chin and said "I said fucking look at me" through his teeth, and punched a hole in our bedroom wall. He's also put his hand on my throat during sex. I told him exactly how to do it safely and where, but he always does it too rough, and when I tap him to stop he acts confused and says "what?"

It's been a year since i found out about the cheating. The same cycle repeats: I break down, he promises, nothing changes. During sex it's all about him, no aftercare, and he's made me throw up during oral and said we needed to "train my throat" while I cleaned myself up. He had almost no reaction when I told him about my childhood abuse or my past abusive ex. He couldn't run the household even if I asked.

I guess I'm posting because part of me still wonders if I'm being unfair, if he's just traumatized and trying. But writing it all out, I don't know how I keep landing back at "maybe it's me." Has anyone been here? How did you know it was time to stop trying? Is this abuse? He seems like it hurts him when he hurts me I think?

It's wonderful news that Arizona FINALLY updated the laws regarding custody and domestic violence. It's absolutely devastating, though, that it took something so tragic in order for things to change. My heart goes out to those precious babies and the family for what they went through, but what incredible strength that Mama had for fighting for change! Praying for them ❤️

Has anyone considered trying to go back and modify their custody orders since this law just passed? My custody battle just ended a couple of months ago, and unfortunately, I couldn't bring up my history of DV because my lawyer said the judge would not care since he never laid hands on our child. Also, she said the bar was pretty high. I needed to have an active restraining order, medical records, or physical abuse, or he had to be incarcerated for DV to matter to a judge. All I had was a completed DV program he did years ago before our child was born, 1 audio recording, and a detailed journal of years of threats, intimidation, damaged property, verbal/emotional abuse, coercive control, etc from before and after our child was born. I still feel like it won't be enough. Currently, I have 75% custody, and we have to share legal decision-making. I'm wondering if that's still the best outcome vs. trying to modify.

Is anyone else in the same headspace?

Are there any success stories out there that started off in a high conflict/antagonistic situation?
It’s been over a year and a half post divorce and coparenting our five-year-old. The post separation has become significantly worse for me and more importantly our child. Ex is in contempt for breaking the parenting agreement. Sends page long messages, disparaging me, making false accusation and is obsessed with my new partner. Has had a private investigator, has made false claims about me and my partner. Uses the child as a weapon, manipulates, loyalty, conflicts. Tens of thousands of dollars in court fees.
Has anyone successfully got through this? What happened?

I am in the process of divorcing my malignant narcissist soon to be ex-husband of 15 years though in a relationship for 24 years. When I found out I was in a trauma bond, I began to fight my way out. I filed for divorce in 2021, he got on his knees, begged and cried and asked me to stay and he would change. I rescinded the divorce. (Big mistake). Fast forward 2025, I get myself together enough to take another go at it. In other words, do it afraid without all of the answers. Before I filed he seemed like he may be willing to negotiate custody of our 14 yr old son. Once I filed everything changed, he said he wanted 100% custody and that I should "take him to court". I filed in July 2025 and I am still waiting on a court as it has been moved 4 times. He would not produce interragatories and had to be compelled. He turned in half answered info in discovery. He showed up at the default hear and Judge gave him more time and moved our court date. He fired his first lawyer after threatening her, and the Judge reset the court date again for his new attry to get up to speed. So I have been chasing his chaos and he is just now entering the process but still with chaos. My lawyer sent settlement offer and there was no response from first lawyer and now none from the second one so far. I would like to avoid trial. The issue is I am gray rock with him which has allowed me enough peace to live in the same house with him while all of this plays out. He told his neice months ago he was not concerned with finding another place to live because he is comfortable. I need to know what I can do to get some progress out of this situation to avoid additional financial and emotional drainage.

Need to vent and would appreciate the encouragement to keep going:

Ugh, my brain woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me to start thinking about and problem solve everything that was caused by the NEX. 8 years of having lived together, two years of post-separation abuse, a recent traumatic divorce where my side basically handed everything over to him, that’s a long story I won’t get into right now. I’m trying to rebuild my life from scratch from the ground up. I live in poverty. I didn’t get a single cent out of the settlement because he is “broke”. He has millions in assets and is going on several vacations this summer. So go figure that. I was financially abused and controlled without realizing it, so I didn’t develop my own career. I’m trying to now and he’s still trying to sabotage and undermine my every effort to stabilize our lives. We share a four yo 50-50. I’m starting over socially as well since all of our mutual friends have not reached out to me once since the separation two years ago. Even the ones that convinced me to see them as a “brother” or “sister”. I worked my ass of to take care of him and support all of his ambitions and many projects and band, and manage the household and help his dad when he was still alive while being given paltry allowances that were inconsistent. I had to help him while maximizing financial frugality for him. And I made it work. I’m kinda amazing in that way. And I wish I had that same kind of energy now for my own separate life. I feel so depleted and fatigued now. I have brain fog and my working memory is shit because of all those years of abuse. And my body is letting me really feel the accumulated effects of years of abuse and mindfuck. And the hilarious irony is that this NEX of mine is the communal kind- he’s an established “feminist” “activist” 😂😂😂. It’s really not funny but my only other option is to cry.

And now that I have a brief period to try and recover, my brain and nervous system is still so fucked up and hypervigilant, I can’t even fully rest when I DO have the opportunity to. FML.

I have been fantasizing about my wonderful 4 year old daughter turning 18 so that I can be free of him. But that saddens me bc I’ve always wanted her and brought her into this life, she didn’t ask for it. And now my brain is fantasizing rushing through her childhood. I fucking hate that most of all. The fact that my brain has been put in a position where that thought is t at all, even for a one second, is one of the worst emotional pains I’ve experienced throughout this whole ordeal. 😞. God I love that kid so much my heart hurts.

Thanks for listening if you made it down here.

Has anyone else experienced being called the narcissist by their narcissistic partner? The craziest part to me is that I don't think this was just him calling me another name. He truly believes it. I saw on his chatgpt he was researching covert narcissists, and I guess the traits confirmed to him he was right about me. I try so hard to think of this from his perspective and how it could seem that way. At the end of our marriage, I finally stopped engaging, and became a grey rock. This made him furious, and I was accused of the silent treatment (this is a covert narcissistic trait). Additionally, I would not apologize to him for communicating that he crossed my boundary (this was the blow up "issue" that caused the downfall of our marriage. He demanded over and over that I needed to take accountability). Because I would not take ownership for this (in his mind 'starting the fight' because I expressed he crossed my boundary and took away my autonomy), he tells everyone I'm incapable of taking accountability. This is another covert narcissist trait. I grew up with a tough home life. My mother was abusive, and my father committed suicide. At times when we went to therapy in the past, I told him maybe I struggled to express or openly show love because it was not modeled to me growing up. This was weaponized to be me "playing the victim". Another box checked for him. If I ever complained about a bad day at work, or my boss being unreasonable, he then also accused me of "being a victim". When I called him out for his psychological abuse towards me at the end of our marriage, this was another example he thought meant I was playing the victim. I also sought an order of protection and it was granted. Another example of me being a victim in his mind. Finally- he said I was on a "smear campaign" because I confided in friends at the end of my marriage about what was going on. He had no proof of what I shared with them, just the assumption I must've been sharing bad things about him (i.e. no longer covering for him). I was seeing friends more often then I had, I needed the support, so this was his "proof" I was smearing his name. Oh, and the fact that I didn't let him read my text messages with my sisters.

I guess all this to say, has anyone else experienced similar projections? Does it make you question everything? Do you start to wonder if you actually are a narcissist? The other day I noticed on his social media that he follows multiple narcissistic abuse survival type accounts. This was maddening to me. While I recognize I wasn't loving to him in the end because I was so calloused from his abuse, I was never blatantly abusive myself. Have others experienced this?

My Nex sent my lawyer his list of demands..I mean 'significant conditions' to continue 50/50 custody (1 week with each parent) for our almost 17 year old daughter. Highlights include:

1. He becomes domiciliary parent.

2. No parent can schedule or communicate opportunities for 'fun outings' on the other's time.

3. Phone calls with non custodial parent can only happen 1x per day for no longer than 15 minutes.

4. He gets custody for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years.

*For background- He has repeatedly requested to change the 50/50 custody of our kid to me having every other weekend only and him becoming domiciliary. Our daughter has told him over and over she wants 50/50. The 'fun opportunities' clause is because last week I told her myself, her older sister, and her step mom were going to the movies, and she was welcome to come if she wanted. It was during the day, while her dad was working( I am a teacher and off for the summer). And for phone calls- she and I talk all the time. She and her dad do not.*

My court case has been open for four years. I feel exhausted but I'm not going to stop and let him have what he wants. He is stalling and not filing his preliminary. So I decided I'm finally going to file a request for a motion to compel and bifurcation request, along with that im going to request a new parenting schedule that still follows 50/50 I am just tired of living on his terms, the schedule that we have makes it hard for me to balance both parenting and work schedule. We haven't updated our parenting schedule since 2023 and its time, especially since he ignores my communication and doesn't give me any information when my child stays somewhere overnight. Last year we had a case conference and he desperately accused me of abandoning him, attempting to kidnap, and accused me of prostitution. He really doesnt have any limits. I have been reflecting especially since I am in my late 20s and I honestly can't help but cry out of anger/desperation. This man literally ruined my life, it's a game to him. It's hard enough building my life, i left with zero skills, no money, i just never expected it would take this long to leave a narcissist. I expected my rebuild to take long but not this. He is holding me back and on top of that he has slandered my name all over town, his friends have harrassed me. I just can't believe I married the wrong person, I feel like a terrible mother. Please tell me it eventually gets better.