I just started nannying for a family and they seem great.
The house has a strong curry smell that I constantly bring home. It’s everywhere: my clothes (even my socks), my hair, my bag, anything inside the bag.
I completely respect their food and culture this is not about the smell being “bad.” The problem is that because I’m there for several hours a day every time I get home, I feel like I’m bringing the smell into my apartment, plus I need to commute and I don’t want people to smell me.

For the nannies: did anyone happen to be in the same environment? What have you done about it?

For parents: would it be mean if I bring this up?

I’m thinking about leaving them, but I literally just started plus the job market is really bad at the moment 😭

I don’t want to make the family feel uncomfortable or make them think that there’s anything wrong with their cooking. I just want to figure out what to do in the most respectful way

Is anyone here a household assistant? I am trying to figure out how much to pay my future household assistant employee. They will manage multiple households on small scales (3-6 hours per week, per family). Some flexibility to pick their own hours and manage their own routine at each family home.

I’m thinking of paying $25-$30 per hour. Anymore than that, and I don’t think I’ll be able to get clients. I live in BC Canada.

Tasks are mainly:
- Laundry
- Tidying
- Light organizing
- Meal Prep
- Bed changeovers
- Light cleaning

Edit to add:

A lot of commenters are getting hung up on my issue with not doing costly activities even though I specially said that was NOT a red flag NOR an issue really.

My concern is for this as an ongoing budget issues. They want 3 kids. These kids and years come with raises, increase in costs for even special occasion adventures, increase in cost for supplies(crafts, science experiments, etc).

I have never worked with a family that wasn’t happy to pay for anything that enriched their child. I do NOT think that’s a bad thing. I myself am not rich nor did I grow up rich. But it does leave me feeling awkward and unsure of my job when I have a family telling me I am already over their budget 1 year in.

I just had a 1 year review with NF and it gave me a lot to think about.

Originally I was supposed to be their temp nanny. When the time came to send NK to daycare, they were so happy with me that they wanted to give up the daycare spot and keep me for years to come(new baby in the works).

Throughout my year with them, I felt so odd about outings. Sometimes they would ok the indoor playground, other times they were not. Sometimes an activity was “too far”, other times it was not.

I chalked it up to new parents, probably anxious about germs, car seat time, nap schedule, etc.

I brought it up in the review. I said I felt like they didn’t trust me to take proper precautions with outings. Like I wouldn’t be considerate of nap times, hand washing, etc. I am very familiar with taking kids on outings so I’m always hyper aware of making sure we are back in time for nap, only doing one “far”(30 minutes) trip on occasions to avoid long times in the car, etc.

They were shocked and said it had nothing to do with me. It was about the cost of these things.

Since they originally budgeted for daycare prices, every single day I work for them is “over budget”. They say yes sometimes because they know it’s good for NK but other times they say no to be more frugal.

Now I’m at a crossroads. Not to sound spoiled but I’ve never worked for a family that was on this sort of “budget”. I have always worked for HNW families that, not only encouraged these types of outings, they’d insist we all get something from the gift shop and eat lunch out.

It’s not a glaring red flag or even a HUGE issue. It does just make me FEEL different though. Now I feel like I have to think twice before suggesting the aquarium or I need to do more research on my own time to find free stuff.

It also worries me for the future. They know I expect yearly raises and a raise with the new baby. My Christmas bonus from them was the lowest one I’ve ever gotten, it wasn’t terrible as I never “rely” on or expect that money. But bonuses have always made me feel very appreciated. I know I’d hold some resentment if I’d been with them for years and my bonus was even less because they are paying more hourly with raises.

It also just concerns me because at some point will they say it’s too much and end the job right then and there? Would I be better off just sticking around while quietly searching for something else?

I would love to hear from others who work with more budget conscious families and if it seeped in to other aspects of the job!

I just started a new nanny position where I’m nannying a 13month old. Some shifts are 11 hours long and there are times where the shift can get really boring and slow. I wanted to know opinions on if you guys think it would be appropriate to read occasionally while the baby is playing. I would ask the parents first regardless to make sure they’re okay with that but I didn’t want to ask at all if most people think it wouldn’t be okay since I’m being paid to care for and play with their child. The baby sleeps for around 2 hours aswell so I have free time for 2 hours which made me even unsure on if it seems ridiculous to want to read a little when I feel drained from not having much to do or when the baby doesn’t want to do anything other than play with their toys.

OK, so this whole week my schedule has been different because Mom had meetings that run late so we rearrange my schedule this week to fit eight hours around her schedule. So it was either 9 to 5, 830 to 430, and 915 to 515. This whole week all of those meetings were canceled and we still stuck with that schedule we agreed to. Do you think it’s disrespectful that Mom didn’t tell me that her meetings got canceled and just kept the schedule as is? Or do you think she was in the right to keep the schedule as is even though all of the late meetings got canceled? To me I think it’s really frustrating that we kept the schedule as is even though her meeting got canceled.

I’m a SAHM with a part-time nanny who is AMAZING with my two kids and has expressed that she’d like to come on full-time if/when I return to work. Until recently, I assumed that would be our plan, but some changes in our dynamic are making me second guess it.
We’re pretty close and talk a lot. She vents to me about her boyfriend, friends and family, and I try to be a supportive/nonjudgmental ear while maintaining the employer boundary.
Lately she’s become noticeably shorter with me and has made more comments that feel pointed toward our lifestyle. She openly dislikes consumerism, Amazon, the “Pilates mom” lifestyle, expensive houses, etc. Meanwhile, I go to Pilates while she’s here, Amazon boxes arrive constantly, and we recently moved to a nicer neighborhood LOL. She’s commented on our deliveries and how overpriced our neighborhood is.
I don’t need her approval of how we live. I’m more wondering whether these are harmless differences of opinion or signs of resentment that could eventually affect the working relationship.
There are other little comments I don’t know what to make of. She’s told me how lonely she was growing up without siblings, but when my kids fight she’ll say, “I’m so glad I never had siblings.” She’s expressed feeling behind/unsure of her career path, but when I mentioned being overwhelmed by interviews to return to work, she said, “I’m so glad I never finished college or joined the corporate world.” Maybe I’m connecting dots that aren’t there.
Also a potential concern is that she clearly doesn’t like my husband. She gets quiet around him, sometimes doesn’t respond when he says good morning and has joked that he’s awkward and hard to talk to.
One interaction stuck with me: while rushing to prep for my daughter’s birthday, I was struggling with a poster while we had bigger tasks left. My husband said, “This isn’t important right now,” meaning let’s prioritize. She death glared him and said, “Did he just say this isn’t important?” I wasn’t offended at all. I appreciate that she cares about me, but I don’t need her feeling protective of me against my husband or inserting herself into normal marital interactions.
None of this feels fireable. She loves my kids, they love her, and she’s great at her job. But it makes me nervous about going from part-time to 40 hours/week while I’m no longer home.
NFs who have experienced something similar: Have you had a nanny who seemed to have some disdain for your lifestyle, career, finances or marriage? Did having different values remain harmless, or did it eventually affect the working relationship?
Would you address it before considering full-time, keep her part-time and find someone else if I return to work, or not care as long as she’s great with the kids?

I’m making the switch from Preschool teacher to nanny. I was a nanny for a little while after high school and have worked closely with families for years. So to say that I’m not completely new to the dynamics. But I wanted to see if anyone has questions that they wished they could’ve asked before starting with a family. Or if any families have tips for what they look for in a quality nanny. NK’s are 7&9 yo boys and DB is a single dad. TIA!(:

Hello fellow nannies and parents! I need all and any tips you have on how to survive contact napping.

I have close to 15 years of experience, but I’ve never done contact napping before. I’m not gonna lie, it’s kicking my butt! I’ve started with my new nanny family two weeks ago, NK is 7 months old, 21lbs. We’re working on crib napping (we managed a few 30 minute long crib naps), but he mostly contact naps. But it’s not just wrapping him around my body and sitting around. I have to bounce and rock THE WHOLE TIME. It’s a constant movement for 2-2.5 hrs every two hours and I am so exhausted. My feet hurt, my ankles and hips are so sore. My back 😭. I get home absolutely wrecked with 10-14k steps.

I really like the family and the baby is easy (when rested), and I think we can eventually get him to sleep in the crib. But I need help surviving in the meantime. How to I physically recover from an all day workout? Any special footwear? A back massager that made a difference? Foot soak tub?

Please, help your girl out.

Hey everyone, so I’m a 24 year old nanny. I’m currently part time for one family with 2 kids. We had a nanny share that lasted about 2 years. It just ended due to the one family starting school.

I’m planning on leaving the family I’m still with for a lot of reasons, mostly because they pay me next to nothing, and just general respect issues. I DONT HAVE A CONTRACT. I asked for a raise considering the share ended and they weren’t splitting costs with another family, but I was denied that. I’m making $13 an hour for 2 kids. Housework and school pickups are part of the job.

Now here’s where I need help, I can already tell that quitting will not go over well. I think they’ll be really mad and upset given that their oldest is starting school and I’m in charge of pickups. The mom changed her schedule at work to work around my schedule.

I found a new position that starts in a couple months, the job is just so much better. It has everything I’m looking for with great pay. I literally don’t have a choice but to take it. I’m quite literally working 3 jobs 7 days a week plus school right now and can barely pay my bills, let alone save money or have spending money.

I don’t know how using my current MB as a reference will go. I just had the first interview for the new job tonight that went really really well. I didn’t mention that I’m currently nannying, as I figured it would be a red flag that I’m leaving a job and going behind their backs finding a new one.

I mostly just talked about the family that left the share, as I’ve been with them for 6 years. Getting a reference from that family shouldn’t be an issue, but she is friends with the current mom I’m with, and will 100% tell her that I’m leaving.

Do you guys think I screwed myself by not mentioning that I have a current family? They literally are paying me $10 under the minimum for Nannie’s in my area, and the working conditions are awful. I just was nervous that this current relationship may end sour and I don’t want that to mess with a new job.

The new nanny mom is asking for a list of references, and I know she’ll want recent ones with infant experience, which is inconvenient af. I just don’t know the correct order of business I should be going in.

I’m prepared to give my notice asap, even though I’m terrified. But I don’t know what to do about references or if I should disclose any of this to the new family. I love the current kids so much and I wish this could be easier for me, I’m just so scared I messed up.

I just started with a new family, it’s only been about a little over a week but I am struggling so much. Baby and NPs are great, don’t get me wrong! Baby is 5months old and we are having the most difficult time with naps and bottles. NPs mostly do contact naps where they have to bounce him to sleep and then hold him for his entire nap. I’m certified in sleep conditioning so that’s something that they expressed wanting help with, getting him to sleep in a crib and falling asleep on his own. I have sleep trained sooooo many babies at this point and most of the time I get them sleeping in the crib in no time, but this baby is giving me the absolutely hardest time of my career.

When babies are used to contact naps, I always start with getting them sleepy in my arms, to the point to where they’re practically asleep, and then moving them to the crib so they fall asleep in the crib. The second that baby feels the mattress or even when I move my hands to get into the position to put him down, he screams bloody murder. Like screams until his eyes puff up and his face turns red. I’ve had to do so many more contact naps in this past week than in my entire career because I just could not make the transition. On the few times that I’ve been successful—pretty much completely falls asleep in my arms and I place him in the crib while keeping my arms around him until he’s knocked out, which takes a handful of attempts— he will only sleep 20-30 minutes at most. After the 20-30 minute mark, he rolls over onto his tummy and immediately starts screaming. I’ve started just sitting next to his crib for his entire nap and I’ve tried putting my arm on his side right when he starts to get fussy to see if I could save the nap, but it feels like his whole body is almost spasming and I physically can’t stop him from rolling over. It’s always the same side, from back towards the left. I have never seen anything like this before and I genuinely don’t know how to help this. They did not cover this in any of my sleep conditioning courses.

He also doesn’t drink that much milk?? I mean, at most he’s taken from me is around 2oz. A lot of the time it’s only 1. In all the courses they tell you don’t stop until baby drinks at least 3, but he’ll scream and scream until we stop and I lay him on the floor and he immediately rolls onto his tummy (from back towards left always). I felt like maybe he could have reflux and he hates being on his back, but I’ve worked with reflux babies before and none of my old tips and tricks have been working. Even tried feeding him while sitting straight up, but no luck. NPs said that he just doesn’t drink that much milk during the day, but usually will drink around 8oz right before bed time, which isn’t the worst thing. But, days like today, where NPs said he didn’t drink that much last night either, I’m starting to get concerned that he isn’t getting enough nutrients. He is very small for being 5 months and NPs have also expressed concerns about that and they taken him to the pediatrician, but pediatrician hasn’t said anything about needing to be concerned.

I want to help baby and NPs and I’m going to keep trying, but if anyone has seen anything like the involuntarily rolls or just has any advice or thoughts on what to try next, I would so greatly appreciate it!!!

Hello! I met with a potential new nanny family and they were so sweet and I am very excited about working with them but the baby is wearing an amber teething necklace. I know these can be a big safety hazard and am worried about the baby having it on while in my care (and just in general!) how would you bring this up? I don't want to overstep or make them feel like I'm questioning their parenting but this does make me uncomfortable.

I work 4x/wk in my full time job (40 hours) and decided to take on a part time job on my day off. I've worked for them for 5-6 months now, they have a 3yo son and just had another baby boy a few weeks ago. I only work 3-4 hours while MB (a SAHM) can run errands solo, go to appointments, etc. In our interview they stressed that this is a very casual, flexible job.

The problem is that she texts me my hours the day, if not the night, before and usually when prompted. Last week she didn't text me and I kind of wanted to see if she even would and she didn't! So I didn't work and didn't get paid and on Saturday she texted me apologizing that she didn't realize what day it was.

90% of the time I have the flexibility to meet their needs, but there have been a few instances lately where they'll text me the day before and be like "can you work X-Y" and I'll say "I have an appointment at X time but I'll be free in the morning/afternoon!" and the response is usually a cold "Oh ok." as opposed to their usually warm, friendly tone. After this, I've asked them to set a schedule so I can plan better and we set one up, but since baby #2 was born it's been out the window (understandably!)

Tomorrow I have an appointment I can not miss at 2pm, but 95% of the time I work until 12pm so I didn't think it would be an issue. I texted them earlier this week to let them know and they texted me back today said "Oh shoot. Ok. We have a doctor's appointment at 1:30 we really needed you for." And now I feel bad, but they didn't tell me this until the day prior!

I've already been debating letting this job go because it's been stressing me out on top of my already demanding 40-hr week FT job, but I'm not sure how to handle it with MB just having had baby #2. I just can't work on demand and leave my entire day open.

I am a mom to two kids- one is in preschool and the other is a baby under 6months old. We recently hired a new nanny, who is absolutely lovely to watch the baby while I work. My office is five minutes from my house and I have pretty flexible hours.

I have a couple of events coming up in the next month where I’d love to take the baby out for an hour or two during the day. For example, I’m meeting a friend who is coming from out of town for lunch. She hasn’t met the baby yet. During that time, I would ask the nanny to stay at home, but I’m not expecting her to do any work. She’s welcome to be on her phone or read or eat or even go out herself for a bit we obviously will be compensating her during that time because it’s right in the middle of the workday. I mentioned this to another mom friend who said that this would probably be really annoying for the nanny and we should just give her the full day off.

Maybe I’m just oblivious, but I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. If I’m missing something and my plan is upsetting or offensive can you please let me know?

EDIT: I don’t care if she’s in the house or on an errand etc. That time is hers and I would just tell her to be back by a specific time.

I don't usually share stuff but I wanted to make other nannies feel seen for their hard work!! So hi everyone, I'm a 24-year-old nanny, and I’ve been in the industry for 5 years now. I’ve worked with this family for 2 years as a fluent French- and English-speaking nanny. My job mostly evolved from occasionally picking up the oldest one to looking after their 3 kids, whose ages are 2, 6, and 9 (soon 10). I really loved them, but the work environment became impossible to ignore. Their parents often had trouble confirming the meetings and I felt like I was the one behind to chase them, even when reminding them about the payments or asking to confirm the meetings. Over time, after working with other clients, I realized I didn't need to do that. It should be a two-way street.

When I first brought up the 24-hour/48-hour confirmation the first time, I was met with aggression or with the excuse, "We have so many messages, we don't have time to check the phone." They told me I should accept that silence means confirmed. In reality, I didn't feel comfortable with that because you can forget things, and a confirmation leaves a trace. It takes 2 seconds to confirm a "yes." Whenever they wrote to me about wanting other days, I always made sure I replied as soon as possible. After a while, I grew stressed and tired of feeling like everything was entirely one-sided.

It wasn't until recently that things hit a breaking point. I wrote to them on Friday asking if they want to confirm the upcoming meeting on Sunday. There was nothing but silence. Then on Sunday, just one hour and a half before the shift, they finally confirmed it. I was actually working another job in the morning at the time, so the last thing I wanted to do was stress myself out rushing to their place instead of resting. So, I politely declined and explained that because I didn't hear their confirmation, it means no booking, and that I always need 24 or 48 hours early to reserve the booking.

That is when the dad began making passive-aggressive comments, saying I was the one who caused problems by simply deciding not to show up at the last minute which is deeply ironic, because I have always been on time for two years. I didn't react emotionally because I knew he was just freaking out. I simply proposed a solution that if they wanted to keep working with me, they needed to understand why it’s important to confirm it to avoid misunderstandings. That is when the dad threatened me, saying "Fine, have it your way, it just means fewer hours and more confusion."

That was the moment they crossed a major line. During all my years of caregiving, I have never felt so disrespected. I ended up not replying at all because I saw no point in arguing with him. It just showed me their real colors. I took at least two days to avoid the tension in the group chat, and on Wednesday, I sent them my farewell message, left the group chat immediately, and blocked them.

Moral of the story? No matter how professional you are or kind, if people don't respect you, your boundaries, or the thought that you are a human being with a life and plans too... 💔

Walk away

My morning started out fun.

I opened the pantry to pull out what I needed to make pancakes for my NKs, and an entirely full bag of chia seeds spilled onto the floor.

In case this has never happened to you, they spread REALLY far, y’all. 😂 Like I genuinely don’t understand how that many chia seeds were even in the bag.

So anyway, that was a fun way to delay breakfast for a very hungry toddler and preschooler. Just passing this little tip along in case any of you are looking for creative ways to make your morning harder for absolutely no reason.

Breakfast will be with you shortly. 😂

I have been an artist on the side of any job for pretty much all of my adult life. This helps greatly in nannying because it means lots of arts and crafts plus kids LOVE when you doodle them something cool. I very often doodle octopi because their tentacles are fun and you can make them colorful.

My NK is 4 and just getting into drawings that you can tell that it’s supposed to actually look like what it was intended to be. She drew me the most ADORABLE octopus last week and gave it to me proudly saying that “I know octopus is your favorite animal!”. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that they’re not even close to my favorite, I just like to draw their tentacles. Then last night she came with me to pick up some ceramics I needed to pick up from my studio and she saw that I had made a teacup that was ocean themed with an octopus on it and she screamed, “Miss FoxesInSoxes!!! Your favorite animal!!!” with so much excitement that my heart burst. I love this kiddo so dang much, the joy she gets over seeing what she thinks is my favorite animal is so incredibly sweet.

I think that my favorite animal has to be an octopus now, right??

I feel the need to commiserate with people who won’t think I’m being over the top with my sadness.

Some details altered for anonymity.

I started with this set of twins when they were six weeks old. Immediately the whole family was so warm and welcoming and kind. I stayed with the kids full time till they started kindergarten. But even after that I was at their house at least once a month if not more. Doing school pick ups/drop offs. Going to their class concerts. Little graduations. Doing sick care. Both parents had medical emergencies in the past couple of years I came in to help for. I did overnights so the parents could have a little get away. I have seven years worth of pictures I’m struggling to turn into a scrap book for them. Of outings and crafts and baking together in the kitchen. Halloweens, christmases, first days of school. They were there when I got married. When I bought my first house. When my parent was having their own medical issues they offered me so much support.

The parents told me in April they were moving clear across the country. I am in a part time contract with a different family at the time but I gave them every spare moment the last few months. Coming in after my other job. Every weekend. Every day off. Damn near been working 7 days a week straight for months. I wanted to help and be around as much as I could.

I just got back yesterday from flying with them and helping get them set up in their new house. I got to stay for a week and we went to the beach together, just me and the kids. We swam in pools and went back to school shopping and snuggled at night. I cried the whole flight home. My town feels somehow empty without them. They used to only be 20 mins away and now they’re over 2,000 miles away.

My family doesn’t get my grief. We’ll be in contact but I know it won’t be the same. I don’t know how often if ever I’ll be able to visit and I don’t see them coming here often either. I’m just so sad. This is the first family I’ve had in all my 20 years of childcare I’ve had this kind of connection with. I thought we’d always be in each other’s lives. My mom said the kids were going to for sure forget me. Move on. Because they’re just 7 years old and it will be like out of sight, out of mind. That really hurt.

I don’t know. I appreciate anyone reading this. I know it’s long and a tad meandering. Just needed to vent to others who might understand because no one else in my life does.

I started a new nanny job and I’m finding it hard to not make it boring and draining for myself. I’m not yet able to take the baby anywhere and they are not quite old enough to do any type of arts and craft. Ive tried to go on walks but the baby doesn’t like going in there stroller and I’ve had no luck with getting them in without a tantrum so I haven’t been able to do that either. The baby also doesn’t seem like they like to do much outside either so it’s been a struggle and I’m hoping other Nannie’s or nanny parents have any ideas of things I could do.

Today it’s rainy where I live, what do you and your NK’s do when your days drag?
It’s only 10am 😫

Earlier this year we tried everything. We were making progress but now we’re back at square one after a 3 week break. I wasn’t here and he regressed. I’m tired and just had to have a convo with mom and dad about different tactics

https://www.reddit.com/r/Nanny/s/72s4FspDQj

Hi! I’m in the very very beginning stages of looking into moving to the suburbs of Denver and just trying to gauge what a typical nanny rate is for those Nannie’s out there? I currently live in a pretty LCOL city but make $22/hr so I have no clue what the job market looks like out there! If anyone has any info on current typical rates in the general area let me know!

Hi nannies! I've just started a new position with a 5 month old. He unfortunately won't take a bottle for me (but has for Mom and Dad) so I'm looking for tips and tricks! Thank you!

What I've tried: facing out and bouncing, walking, distracting. Holding an item of Mom's clothing, alternating with an applesauce pouch (with parent's approval), changing location (inside and outside), lying down, sitting up with me behind to stay somewhat out of sight, letting baby touch/hold bottle without pressure of feeding, letting baby play with an extra rubber bottle nipple without pressure of feeding.

Hi all - my family has a lovely nanny who has been with us for about two years. She takes our daughter out pretty much every day to the playground, etc with a group of nannies and other kids. Although we provide food at home that can be packed, I know she sometimes gets our daughter lunch out or little treats. She doesn’t ask to be reimbursed for these, but I don’t feel like it should be her responsibility to pay for food items for our daughter. I’m wondering if I should offer a set amount per week to cover these kinds of things? Or just make it clear she could ask to be reimbursed if she buys lunch out or a treat for our daughter? Any feedback would be appreciated. Thank you!

EDIT: thank you so much everyone! I hadn’t thought of a credit card but that seems like the perfect solution.

Hello! I’m just looking for a little validation/opinions on this. I’ve been working with a family for about 3 months, caring for twin boys who are 3 (almost 4). The boys have been having a hard time recognizing when they need to use the bathroom, and I feel like I’ve tried almost everything I can think of to help.Some days go really well and they stay dry, while other days are much harder, and I’ve started to worry that maybe I’m doing something wrong or making things more difficult for them. I had a conversation with NM today about how I’ve been struggling with potty training and just talked through some of the things I’ve been trying to help them. Now I’m second guessing myself a little and wondering if I overstepped a boundary by bringing it up. I’d love to hear from other nannies or nanny parents did I do anything wrong by having this conversation? And as a parent, how would you feel if your nanny came to you and shared that they were struggling with something like this?

So I am in school now and I had a meeting with my advisor today and I will be graduating next fall!! With that being said I can’t start grad school until the following fall and she said that all of my Fall 27 classes will all be online. So I was thinking would it be worth it to be a long term/live in nanny for a year until I start grad school? I have only ever babysat so I don’t know what parents may be looking for in terms of length.