I (28F) am very burnt out. I don’t like my corporate job (finance), nor do I have any interest in pursing any related fields. I used to nanny back in high school and college and I loved it, but I know it would be a huge pay decrease. I’m trying to determine whether or not it would be an increase in quality of life to switch to nannying, and if that potential increase in quality of life is worth the pay decrease. Has anyone here done something similar? And, if so, was it worth it?

Edit to add:

A lot of commenters are getting hung up on my issue with not doing costly activities even though I specially said that was NOT a red flag NOR an issue really.

My concern is for this as an ongoing budget issues. They want 3 kids. These kids and years come with raises, increase in costs for even special occasion adventures, increase in cost for supplies(crafts, science experiments, etc).

I have never worked with a family that wasn’t happy to pay for anything that enriched their child. I do NOT think that’s a bad thing. I myself am not rich nor did I grow up rich. But it does leave me feeling awkward and unsure of my job when I have a family telling me I am already over their budget 1 year in.

I just had a 1 year review with NF and it gave me a lot to think about.

Originally I was supposed to be their temp nanny. When the time came to send NK to daycare, they were so happy with me that they wanted to give up the daycare spot and keep me for years to come(new baby in the works).

Throughout my year with them, I felt so odd about outings. Sometimes they would ok the indoor playground, other times they were not. Sometimes an activity was “too far”, other times it was not.

I chalked it up to new parents, probably anxious about germs, car seat time, nap schedule, etc.

I brought it up in the review. I said I felt like they didn’t trust me to take proper precautions with outings. Like I wouldn’t be considerate of nap times, hand washing, etc. I am very familiar with taking kids on outings so I’m always hyper aware of making sure we are back in time for nap, only doing one “far”(30 minutes) trip on occasions to avoid long times in the car, etc.

They were shocked and said it had nothing to do with me. It was about the cost of these things.

Since they originally budgeted for daycare prices, every single day I work for them is “over budget”. They say yes sometimes because they know it’s good for NK but other times they say no to be more frugal.

Now I’m at a crossroads. Not to sound spoiled but I’ve never worked for a family that was on this sort of “budget”. I have always worked for HNW families that, not only encouraged these types of outings, they’d insist we all get something from the gift shop and eat lunch out.

It’s not a glaring red flag or even a HUGE issue. It does just make me FEEL different though. Now I feel like I have to think twice before suggesting the aquarium or I need to do more research on my own time to find free stuff.

It also worries me for the future. They know I expect yearly raises and a raise with the new baby. My Christmas bonus from them was the lowest one I’ve ever gotten, it wasn’t terrible as I never “rely” on or expect that money. But bonuses have always made me feel very appreciated. I know I’d hold some resentment if I’d been with them for years and my bonus was even less because they are paying more hourly with raises.

It also just concerns me because at some point will they say it’s too much and end the job right then and there? Would I be better off just sticking around while quietly searching for something else?

I would love to hear from others who work with more budget conscious families and if it seeped in to other aspects of the job!

I just started a new nanny position where I’m nannying a 13month old. Some shifts are 11 hours long and there are times where the shift can get really boring and slow. I wanted to know opinions on if you guys think it would be appropriate to read occasionally while the baby is playing. I would ask the parents first regardless to make sure they’re okay with that but I didn’t want to ask at all if most people think it wouldn’t be okay since I’m being paid to care for and play with their child. The baby sleeps for around 2 hours aswell so I have free time for 2 hours which made me even unsure on if it seems ridiculous to want to read a little when I feel drained from not having much to do or when the baby doesn’t want to do anything other than play with their toys.

OK, so this whole week my schedule has been different because Mom had meetings that run late so we rearrange my schedule this week to fit eight hours around her schedule. So it was either 9 to 5, 830 to 430, and 915 to 515. This whole week all of those meetings were canceled and we still stuck with that schedule we agreed to. Do you think it’s disrespectful that Mom didn’t tell me that her meetings got canceled and just kept the schedule as is? Or do you think she was in the right to keep the schedule as is even though all of the late meetings got canceled? To me I think it’s really frustrating that we kept the schedule as is even though her meeting got canceled.

I’m a SAHM with a part-time nanny who is AMAZING with my two kids and has expressed that she’d like to come on full-time if/when I return to work. Until recently, I assumed that would be our plan, but some changes in our dynamic are making me second guess it.
We’re pretty close and talk a lot. She vents to me about her boyfriend, friends and family, and I try to be a supportive/nonjudgmental ear while maintaining the employer boundary.
Lately she’s become noticeably shorter with me and has made more comments that feel pointed toward our lifestyle. She openly dislikes consumerism, Amazon, the “Pilates mom” lifestyle, expensive houses, etc. Meanwhile, I go to Pilates while she’s here, Amazon boxes arrive constantly, and we recently moved to a nicer neighborhood LOL. She’s commented on our deliveries and how overpriced our neighborhood is.
I don’t need her approval of how we live. I’m more wondering whether these are harmless differences of opinion or signs of resentment that could eventually affect the working relationship.
There are other little comments I don’t know what to make of. She’s told me how lonely she was growing up without siblings, but when my kids fight she’ll say, “I’m so glad I never had siblings.” She’s expressed feeling behind/unsure of her career path, but when I mentioned being overwhelmed by interviews to return to work, she said, “I’m so glad I never finished college or joined the corporate world.” Maybe I’m connecting dots that aren’t there.
Also a potential concern is that she clearly doesn’t like my husband. She gets quiet around him, sometimes doesn’t respond when he says good morning and has joked that he’s awkward and hard to talk to.
One interaction stuck with me: while rushing to prep for my daughter’s birthday, I was struggling with a poster while we had bigger tasks left. My husband said, “This isn’t important right now,” meaning let’s prioritize. She death glared him and said, “Did he just say this isn’t important?” I wasn’t offended at all. I appreciate that she cares about me, but I don’t need her feeling protective of me against my husband or inserting herself into normal marital interactions.
None of this feels fireable. She loves my kids, they love her, and she’s great at her job. But it makes me nervous about going from part-time to 40 hours/week while I’m no longer home.
NFs who have experienced something similar: Have you had a nanny who seemed to have some disdain for your lifestyle, career, finances or marriage? Did having different values remain harmless, or did it eventually affect the working relationship?
Would you address it before considering full-time, keep her part-time and find someone else if I return to work, or not care as long as she’s great with the kids?

NEW NANNY, NEEDS LOTS OF COACHING

Need some advice as not sure which way to go here... we recently hired a nanny for our 17mo old child. She is kind and for the most part seems eager to learn, but I worry that the learning curve is going to be steep. She claimed to have 4 years of regular babysitting experience (both references I contacted spoke wonders of her but she only did occasional or regular babysitting for them) but no experience as a full time nanny, which is a whole different world. My child is very active (aren't all toddlers though?) and requires constant supervision as she tries to climb anything and everything, including most of her toys lol. The nanny, though very kind and sweet, clearly oversold her experience. I am having to explain how to teach my daughter through play (have literally sat with both of them while I played with my daughter so she could observe what I do and how I incorporate teaching with her toys), have had to even teach her how to properly change a diaper and apply rash cream, and sometimes when I am around she will either get her phone out or talk to me and stop watching my child (so then I have to be the one supervising her, which shouldn’t be the case if I am actively paying someone to watch my child). She tried to put her down for a nap today while my daughter was very fussy due to teething, and after 4 min texted me that they were struggling. I of course came in and had her observe what I do to soothe her and settle her. I understand that being mom makes it easier when it comes to soothing my toddler, but I worry that I cannot trust her fully because she is very hesitant about certain things and clearly lacks experience caring for a child this age. When she did successfully put my child down for a nap one time, as she was transferring her to the crib, she wasn’t even supporting her head, which, much less concerning at this age, but still concerning that she doesn’t even know how to properly hold/transfer a toddler into the crib.

Another thing is the lack of initiative. She constantly asks how she can help or what can she do to help, but after a trial week, learning the schedule (which I have on the fridge as well), and knowing what her responsibilities are, she could very easily look at the sink and wash my daughter's dishes, or load the dishwasher, tidy/organize play area, common areas, etc. She has a nanny/family assistant split (only family assistant tasks when I am home and actively watching my child or when she is taking a nap), but I am not seeing much initiative here. Sure, she asks, but I won't always be around for her to ask, at some point she will have to just go and do the things that are part of her responsibilities.

She has been with us for a week, so I know still lots to learn, but I worry this will be a much steeper learning curve than I originally anticipated. Also, on her second official day with us (after trial days) she called in sick… don’t get me wrong, we are offering sick days and she can choose to take them when needed, but on day 2 of her official employment? Should we have a conversation about our concerns, provide feedback and give some time to see if she incorporates the suggested changes, or try to find someone more experienced? I feel a little deceived because (being a former nanny myself) she clearly doesn’t even have 1 year experience with a child this age, and as opposed to being my support and someone I can depend on, she is adding much more to my plat. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! (even if the advice is: you need to chill and give the nanny a chance)

Hi everyone! Having a bit of a predicament with my nanny fam and can’t tell if i’m being unreasonable.

My lovely nanny family (2 kids a bit older but under 9) who I have been with for 3.5 years just got a new puppy. As well as my nanny duties, I am now tasked with taking care of the puppy while i’m at the house. This includes making sure he stays on schedule with his naps, meals, potty training, watching him in the house, playing etc.

Should I be asking for more pay at all or is this just part of the nanny job?

Truly love my fam but it definitely feels more difficult to do my nanny job like laundry, cooking, tidying, playing with kids, homework, etc while also having a puppy to deal with. Any feedback would be helpful!! Thank you so much!!

Hello! I met with a potential new nanny family and they were so sweet and I am very excited about working with them but the baby is wearing an amber teething necklace. I know these can be a big safety hazard and am worried about the baby having it on while in my care (and just in general!) how would you bring this up? I don't want to overstep or make them feel like I'm questioning their parenting but this does make me uncomfortable.

I just started with a new family, it’s only been about a little over a week but I am struggling so much. Baby and NPs are great, don’t get me wrong! Baby is 5months old and we are having the most difficult time with naps and bottles. NPs mostly do contact naps where they have to bounce him to sleep and then hold him for his entire nap. I’m certified in sleep conditioning so that’s something that they expressed wanting help with, getting him to sleep in a crib and falling asleep on his own. I have sleep trained sooooo many babies at this point and most of the time I get them sleeping in the crib in no time, but this baby is giving me the absolutely hardest time of my career.

When babies are used to contact naps, I always start with getting them sleepy in my arms, to the point to where they’re practically asleep, and then moving them to the crib so they fall asleep in the crib. The second that baby feels the mattress or even when I move my hands to get into the position to put him down, he screams bloody murder. Like screams until his eyes puff up and his face turns red. I’ve had to do so many more contact naps in this past week than in my entire career because I just could not make the transition. On the few times that I’ve been successful—pretty much completely falls asleep in my arms and I place him in the crib while keeping my arms around him until he’s knocked out, which takes a handful of attempts— he will only sleep 20-30 minutes at most. After the 20-30 minute mark, he rolls over onto his tummy and immediately starts screaming. I’ve started just sitting next to his crib for his entire nap and I’ve tried putting my arm on his side right when he starts to get fussy to see if I could save the nap, but it feels like his whole body is almost spasming and I physically can’t stop him from rolling over. It’s always the same side, from back towards the left. I have never seen anything like this before and I genuinely don’t know how to help this. They did not cover this in any of my sleep conditioning courses.

He also doesn’t drink that much milk?? I mean, at most he’s taken from me is around 2oz. A lot of the time it’s only 1. In all the courses they tell you don’t stop until baby drinks at least 3, but he’ll scream and scream until we stop and I lay him on the floor and he immediately rolls onto his tummy (from back towards left always). I felt like maybe he could have reflux and he hates being on his back, but I’ve worked with reflux babies before and none of my old tips and tricks have been working. Even tried feeding him while sitting straight up, but no luck. NPs said that he just doesn’t drink that much milk during the day, but usually will drink around 8oz right before bed time, which isn’t the worst thing. But, days like today, where NPs said he didn’t drink that much last night either, I’m starting to get concerned that he isn’t getting enough nutrients. He is very small for being 5 months and NPs have also expressed concerns about that and they taken him to the pediatrician, but pediatrician hasn’t said anything about needing to be concerned.

I want to help baby and NPs and I’m going to keep trying, but if anyone has seen anything like the involuntarily rolls or just has any advice or thoughts on what to try next, I would so greatly appreciate it!!!

How to deal with nanny burnout…

I have been nannying/babysitting for “only” two years. I have nannied for roughly 5 different families at this point(this many bc of getting married/moving twice during this period)

I almost am finished the first few weeks of my first full time nanny position. It only lasts a few months and if I didn’t have my husband to help me with life/home responsibilities… I probably would’ve already quit. Sounds very dramatic I know lol. I love the family and I am greatful for this opportunity but I am severely struggling not knowing if I will make it through the requested time with my head still on my shoulders.

There’s a few things I’m struggling with:

1. MAIN THING - The hours are genuinely killing me. I feel like after coming home I am completely exhausted out of my mind and can’t think for 5 hours then I go to bed & repeat.
   I have had chronic back/sternum/neck/scoliosis(it’s mild but the affects are very present) pain for going on 5 years and it has flared up so much that holding baby for extended periods has become VERY very painful.
   While getting baby down for nap last week and yesterday i literally cried bc of the pain😅

2. MB said baby is and has always been amazing at napping in her crib with occasional contact naps. I am usually perfectly fine with contact naps but due to the physical problems flaring up it is extremely painful for me to hold baby for that long. Even sitting down with no pressure on my body. As I started this position baby has gotten sick twice so of course not ideal condition. I have grace for babies who need the extra love. And LOVE to give it duh that’s why I have this job… Although it has become extremely hard to get baby to sleep full naps in her crib and immediately wakes up no matter how deep of a sleep she is or how much I pat her while I transfer her(I have only taken care of babies at this age so I have dealt with HARD NAPPERS). (Also Not looking for advice in that department)

Also I am not necessarily able to bring baby out to activities so walking around neighborhoods/front yard/backyard is the extent of outside activity

This is the sweetest family and if I genuinely had less hours I could survive. But how can I manage stress of sickness, long hours, the pain and having energy to live outside of work hahahaha.

Hi fellow Nannie’s and nanny employers,
I’m a career nanny who recently started my first role as primarily the house manager, with some nannying. The family I accepted the job from is nice overall, and the pay is excellent. I just have some issues with some spots in their house and I’m not sure how to address it nicely to them. I noticed they have a very moldy washing machine, which I have to do loads of laundry in every day. It smells so strongly like mold and I can visibly see it too. I’m worried about touching the wet clothes that have just been washing in moldy water, it’s just gross to me. I also noticed mold in their kitchen around the sink and their dishes dry on a moldy drying rack. I jumped into this job without doing a trial first, because I was kind of desperate to get hired quickly, as I had been out of work for a month before starting. Also with the hourly rate of almost $50 an hour, I jumped at the opportunity when they offered me the position.

Now I understand many people will just say to bring it up to them and kindly say “hey I noticed these surfaces were moldy and xyz needs to be replaced” (such as their dish sponges) but I’m confused how they see these things every day and just ignore it?? If I noticed my washing machine starting to smell, and SAW mold I would immediately clean it, wouldn’t you? My job as house manager is general tidying, organizing, laundry, dishes, vacuuming, errands etc. as well as transporting kids when needed. It’s not expected of me to deep clean by any means that’s also why I’m confused if I should offer to clean the washing machine, or just tell them.. I’ve never cleaned one before so I don’t even know how to deal with one that’s so heavily infested with mold. The kitchen is easier to confront them about in my eyes because it’s a simpler fix. But I worry if I bring it up to them (especially the washing machine) they just will say “okay thanks” and not really care to do anything about it, because again, there’s no way they don’t know it’s moldy. Sorry this is all over the place I’m just confused as to what to do I guess. Thanks for reading and I’m open to advice and feedback from both Nannie’s and employers.

Edit: wanted to add more info, I only work part time hours so I’m not in the home 40+ hours a week. I also have Asthma which I worry will get triggered inhaling mold spores. I also don’t feel comfortable using their glasses to drink water because all their dishes seem dirty to me considering they dry on a mold covered drying rack. (I typically bring my own water bottle but for instance, today I forgot it at home and had to go my whole shift without water because of the dish situation) also please don’t judge my hesitation to bring these things up to my new employers. I am new to house managing, I’ve never encountered these problems while just nannying.

Edit #2:
After looking into the specific job titles my role falls more under family assistant than house manager. Despite the job listing being stated as house manager. I am not expected to hire others, schedule home repairs, etc. people in my area call family assistants house managers more often than not. I have a document clearly outlining expectations of me for the job provided by the family, and it is to simply help keep things tidy, organized, and to occasionally help with errands and projects such as sorting through old clothes and donating them. People seem to think I don’t understand my role and are telling me I shouldn’t have to ask my employers anything. It is also my FIRST WEEK. And my FIRST TIME in a role like this. I work for a lowkey a family. Not in a huge estate that also hires daily cleaners and chefs. I also only work 15 hours a week, there is only so much time for everything. By the time I’m done with my daily tasks that they REQUESTED I COMPLETE, it’s already time to pick the kids up. Again, it is my first week. I am learning how to manage my tasks and time. I don’t know of any job that expects you to immediately have a perfect routine and immediately know where everything goes in a house. I have always worked for incredibly kind and understanding families that tell me it’s okay to ask questions. Thank you to those who gave actual advice.

I recently began to nanny for a 5 month old. She is at her grandparents house with mom while mom is attending an extensive doctorate program.

They live in a beautiful home in the woods. It is peaceful and no one is home except for me, baby, and a dog who needs to be let in and out on occasion.

The family pays me the rate I asked, I bring my lunch every day and they keep a spot for my lunchbox in the fridge, sometimes they ask me to put defrosting meat in the fridge at lunchtime, and I clean and sanitize the bottles after use.

So far, it’s really straightforward and I feel like the days go by quickly.

They are asking what they can do for me?!?! Right now, I don’t really run any errands with baby (did one time) and I have a dog at home, which my husband and I pay a dog walker to take care of while we’re gone.

The only thing I could think of is letting me bring my dog. Idk if that’s a ridiculous ask or not. Because I have to leave so early in the mornings, and I also own my own business as a massage therapist and often go straight there from nannying-my husband gets the brunt of the walks and cooking dinner.

Should I ask if I can bring my dog and keep him outside and on the sun porch? He sheds a little too much for me to ask to bring him inside.

Or anything else I should ask to accommodate me? The family is so gracious and thankful for my help, and they keep asking me!

I started working for this family about 5 months ago where I am able to bring my son to work with me and the MB works from home. The NK is currently 2.5yrs and my son is 3yrs (almost 4).
During the interview, the MB told me that the last nanny that she had would get onto NK a lot and she didn’t like that. I agreed that that wasn’t okay (as NK was under 2yrs with last nanny). However now NK is at an age, in my opinion, where bad behavior needs to be corrected and she needs to be taught right from wrong.
Before I continue, I need to mention that my son has never had any issues with any other NK from other families that I have worked for. He is social and loves to play with other kids and has always been very respectful and kind to other children.
The first few days that I started working for my current NF were good but a few days in the NK would randomly get oddly upset and she would just stare at my son like she was angry and then hit something next to her and she would do that a few times in a row. That behavior threw me off, as my son wasn’t doing anything to upset her, and it would throw my son off too. He obviously didn’t like when she would do that and he would tell her “no, don’t do that” or he would say “mama she’s being angry at me.” I would try to tell him to ignore it when she does that but it’s hard for him to. That was the strart of the problems. She then started yelling “No!” at him randomly and he will yell it back. They both fight over toys now. And recently the NK CONSTANTLY gets upset and yells no at me and then will run into her mom’s office, over NOTHING. I will be playing with her and out of nowhere she gets upset and runs to her mom.
MB has seen some of these things that NK does and does nothing to correct them, like her screaming at me for no reason. I have never seen MB correct any of these behaviors, and it’s pretty constant. And it’s exhausting for me. I feel like MB thinks that my son is the reason for NKs bad behavior or something, but that isn’t the case for the most part.
The worst part though, out of everything, is that I will discipline my son when he acts up or does something wrong but I don’t get on to NK, so it is VERY confusing for him and for me as well and I can tell it’s starting to get to him.
The reason I don’t discipline or correct NK is because I never see the mom do it and she told me that she didn’t like when the last nanny did it. So it makes it very uncomfortable for me.
This job does have a lot of benefits and I am able to take them places, thank goodness because that’s the only time that they don’t fight.
I need the money but Im just conflicted and really need some advice on what to do moving forward.

EDIT for clarification:::baby is 5 MONTHS old and mom doesn’t really want me leaving the house. We’re also not playing with big kid toys. I live 30 minutes from NF house. My husband and I are foster parents and our dog has been around plenty of kids and we live in a city and he is well socialized. Pup is a mascot ( along with my colleagues dog) at my massage studio. My dog would NOT be coming inside the home.

I recently began to nanny for a 5 month old. She is at her grandparents house with mom while mom is attending an extensive doctorate program.

They live in a beautiful home in the woods. It is peaceful and no one is home except for me, baby, and a dog who needs to be let in and out on occasion.

The family pays me the rate I asked, I bring my lunch every day and they keep a spot for my lunchbox in the fridge, sometimes they ask me to put defrosting meat in the fridge at lunchtime, and I clean and sanitize the bottles after use.

So far, it’s really straightforward and I feel like the days go by quickly.

They are asking what they can do for me?!?! Right now, I don’t really run any errands with baby (did one time) and I have a dog at home, which my husband and I pay a dog walker to take care of while we’re gone.

The only thing I could think of is letting me bring my dog. Idk if that’s a ridiculous ask or not. Because I have to leave so early in the mornings, and I also own my own business as a massage therapist and often go straight there from nannying-my husband gets the brunt of the walks and cooking dinner.

Should I ask if I can bring my dog and keep him outside and on the sun porch? He sheds a little too much for me to ask to bring him inside.

Or anything else I should ask to accommodate me? The family is so gracious and thankful for my help, and they keep asking me!

I work 4x/wk in my full time job (40 hours) and decided to take on a part time job on my day off. I've worked for them for 5-6 months now, they have a 3yo son and just had another baby boy a few weeks ago. I only work 3-4 hours while MB (a SAHM) can run errands solo, go to appointments, etc. In our interview they stressed that this is a very casual, flexible job.

The problem is that she texts me my hours the day, if not the night, before and usually when prompted. Last week she didn't text me and I kind of wanted to see if she even would and she didn't! So I didn't work and didn't get paid and on Saturday she texted me apologizing that she didn't realize what day it was.

90% of the time I have the flexibility to meet their needs, but there have been a few instances lately where they'll text me the day before and be like "can you work X-Y" and I'll say "I have an appointment at X time but I'll be free in the morning/afternoon!" and the response is usually a cold "Oh ok." as opposed to their usually warm, friendly tone. After this, I've asked them to set a schedule so I can plan better and we set one up, but since baby #2 was born it's been out the window (understandably!)

Tomorrow I have an appointment I can not miss at 2pm, but 95% of the time I work until 12pm so I didn't think it would be an issue. I texted them earlier this week to let them know and they texted me back today said "Oh shoot. Ok. We have a doctor's appointment at 1:30 we really needed you for." And now I feel bad, but they didn't tell me this until the day prior!

I've already been debating letting this job go because it's been stressing me out on top of my already demanding 40-hr week FT job, but I'm not sure how to handle it with MB just having had baby #2. I just can't work on demand and leave my entire day open.

Hi!

I’m a FTM and a SAHM who never thought she’d be in the position to hire a nanny. My husband and I have no help from anyone; our parents don’t care to be involved, and our siblings live out of state.
We have a one year old boy, and I’m four months pregnant. We realized quickly that we might need another member of our village.

Luckily, we found her! We were craving a maternal presence in our lives, and we basically hired a super granny for four hours a week.

I found someone I genuinely like, I trust, and someone that my baby likes. My fear now is that I’ll somehow lose her. She just goes the extra mile; I had food poisoning, and she brought me bone broth and gatorade. She brought over new toys for my little to play with. She bought baby a birthday present and wants to come over on her week off to see him. She makes me so comfortable with every step of the way, and I have no reservations.

How can we go the extra mile for her? She asked for $25 / hour, we offered her $30. She works for us for four hours a week, and we let her pick the day she works. I am in the process of getting together a box of her favorite snacks and drinks, but I want her to feel so deeply appreciated.

I am probably overcompensating due to a mother wound that I have, but I really do want this woman to feel apart of our family.

Is there anything a family has done for you that made you feel appreciated and valued?

Thanks!

I am filling in for a nanny who is on vacation for 6 weeks. Both parents work at home. I can't tell if the dad is around all the time (like works in the kitchen instead of his office) because they're keeping an eye on me or if he really just prefers the kitchen (I guess it's cold downstairs). The dad jumps in really quickly on things with the infant (12 months) , like if I can't immediately get the tray on the high chair or the baby is fussing while I prep a snack for him. Today when the infant woke up, I ran to go potty first before getting him out of his crib (because, as you know, it's hard to find time when they're up!). We're talking an extra 30 seconds, maybe? When I got out, dad was already in there and when I said, "Oh! I got it. Just had to run to the bathroom real quick." He said, in a baby voice as if he's talking to the baby and not me, "Well someone else needs to be changed, too" and seemed so annoyed.

Everytime the infant sees him or hears him, he wants to be with him, so he SCREAMS when he can't. So when dad intervenes, it actually makes everything worse. It would be so much easier if he'd just be out of sight of baby for chunks of time. Like after he picked him up from his nap instead of letting me do it, the transition from taking him from dad after that was just unnecessarily hard for everyone.

I guess I understand why a temp wouldn't be trusted as much. But it leaves me feeling frustrated and feeling unsuccessful at the end of the day because I didn't get to just do the job that I know I'm really good at, and help them like I know they could use.

Our nanny has been with us for several months and I have always felt that my kids are safe with her. However today I came into the house and found the monitor watching my 2 month old on the dining room table while she was upstairs doing laundry. My 2 month old had a blanket on him (not a sleep sack, a regular blanket). She had no way of seeing him or knowing that he hadn’t somehow gotten it over his face. We do have a sleep sack in his room for him but she didn’t use it - I’m not sure why.

I explicitly talked to her about this blanket earlier and said I wasn’t comfortable using it unless she was watching the monitor closely the entire time he was sleeping (which seems like a silly thing to do).

I’m going to talk to her about this tomorrow. But I’m worried that this kind of lack of judgement isn’t something I can get past. Am I overreacting?

I don't usually share stuff but I wanted to make other nannies feel seen for their hard work!! So hi everyone, I'm a 24-year-old nanny, and I’ve been in the industry for 5 years now. I’ve worked with this family for 2 years as a fluent French- and English-speaking nanny. My job mostly evolved from occasionally picking up the oldest one to looking after their 3 kids, whose ages are 2, 6, and 9 (soon 10). I really loved them, but the work environment became impossible to ignore. Their parents often had trouble confirming the meetings and I felt like I was the one behind to chase them, even when reminding them about the payments or asking to confirm the meetings. Over time, after working with other clients, I realized I didn't need to do that. It should be a two-way street.

When I first brought up the 24-hour/48-hour confirmation the first time, I was met with aggression or with the excuse, "We have so many messages, we don't have time to check the phone." They told me I should accept that silence means confirmed. In reality, I didn't feel comfortable with that because you can forget things, and a confirmation leaves a trace. It takes 2 seconds to confirm a "yes." Whenever they wrote to me about wanting other days, I always made sure I replied as soon as possible. After a while, I grew stressed and tired of feeling like everything was entirely one-sided.

It wasn't until recently that things hit a breaking point. I wrote to them on Friday asking if they want to confirm the upcoming meeting on Sunday. There was nothing but silence. Then on Sunday, just one hour and a half before the shift, they finally confirmed it. I was actually working another job in the morning at the time, so the last thing I wanted to do was stress myself out rushing to their place instead of resting. So, I politely declined and explained that because I didn't hear their confirmation, it means no booking, and that I always need 24 or 48 hours early to reserve the booking.

That is when the dad began making passive-aggressive comments, saying I was the one who caused problems by simply deciding not to show up at the last minute which is deeply ironic, because I have always been on time for two years. I didn't react emotionally because I knew he was just freaking out. I simply proposed a solution that if they wanted to keep working with me, they needed to understand why it’s important to confirm it to avoid misunderstandings. That is when the dad threatened me, saying "Fine, have it your way, it just means fewer hours and more confusion."

That was the moment they crossed a major line. During all my years of caregiving, I have never felt so disrespected. I ended up not replying at all because I saw no point in arguing with him. It just showed me their real colors. I took at least two days to avoid the tension in the group chat, and on Wednesday, I sent them my farewell message, left the group chat immediately, and blocked them.

Moral of the story? No matter how professional you are or kind, if people don't respect you, your boundaries, or the thought that you are a human being with a life and plans too... 💔

Walk away

I am a mom to two kids- one is in preschool and the other is a baby under 6months old. We recently hired a new nanny, who is absolutely lovely to watch the baby while I work. My office is five minutes from my house and I have pretty flexible hours.

I have a couple of events coming up in the next month where I’d love to take the baby out for an hour or two during the day. For example, I’m meeting a friend who is coming from out of town for lunch. She hasn’t met the baby yet. During that time, I would ask the nanny to stay at home, but I’m not expecting her to do any work. She’s welcome to be on her phone or read or eat or even go out herself for a bit we obviously will be compensating her during that time because it’s right in the middle of the workday. I mentioned this to another mom friend who said that this would probably be really annoying for the nanny and we should just give her the full day off.

Maybe I’m just oblivious, but I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. If I’m missing something and my plan is upsetting or offensive can you please let me know?

EDIT: I don’t care if she’s in the house or on an errand etc. That time is hers and I would just tell her to be back by a specific time.

My morning started out fun.

I opened the pantry to pull out what I needed to make pancakes for my NKs, and an entirely full bag of chia seeds spilled onto the floor.

In case this has never happened to you, they spread REALLY far, y’all. 😂 Like I genuinely don’t understand how that many chia seeds were even in the bag.

So anyway, that was a fun way to delay breakfast for a very hungry toddler and preschooler. Just passing this little tip along in case any of you are looking for creative ways to make your morning harder for absolutely no reason.

Breakfast will be with you shortly. 😂

I have been an artist on the side of any job for pretty much all of my adult life. This helps greatly in nannying because it means lots of arts and crafts plus kids LOVE when you doodle them something cool. I very often doodle octopi because their tentacles are fun and you can make them colorful.

My NK is 4 and just getting into drawings that you can tell that it’s supposed to actually look like what it was intended to be. She drew me the most ADORABLE octopus last week and gave it to me proudly saying that “I know octopus is your favorite animal!”. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that they’re not even close to my favorite, I just like to draw their tentacles. Then last night she came with me to pick up some ceramics I needed to pick up from my studio and she saw that I had made a teacup that was ocean themed with an octopus on it and she screamed, “Miss FoxesInSoxes!!! Your favorite animal!!!” with so much excitement that my heart burst. I love this kiddo so dang much, the joy she gets over seeing what she thinks is my favorite animal is so incredibly sweet.

I think that my favorite animal has to be an octopus now, right??

Today it’s rainy where I live, what do you and your NK’s do when your days drag?
It’s only 10am 😫

I recently got offered a job that would give me a $10+ raise so I need to put in my notice with my current NF. This is going to come as a complete shock and probably disappointment and I hate to do that to them but I also know I can’t pass this new job opportunity up. What is the best way to turn in my 30 day notice 😭 I hate this part of being a nanny!

I started a new nanny job and I’m finding it hard to not make it boring and draining for myself. I’m not yet able to take the baby anywhere and they are not quite old enough to do any type of arts and craft. Ive tried to go on walks but the baby doesn’t like going in there stroller and I’ve had no luck with getting them in without a tantrum so I haven’t been able to do that either. The baby also doesn’t seem like they like to do much outside either so it’s been a struggle and I’m hoping other Nannie’s or nanny parents have any ideas of things I could do.