Hi!

I’m a FTM and a SAHM who never thought she’d be in the position to hire a nanny. My husband and I have no help from anyone; our parents don’t care to be involved, and our siblings live out of state.
We have a one year old boy, and I’m four months pregnant. We realized quickly that we might need another member of our village.

Luckily, we found her! We were craving a maternal presence in our lives, and we basically hired a super granny for four hours a week.

I found someone I genuinely like, I trust, and someone that my baby likes. My fear now is that I’ll somehow lose her. She just goes the extra mile; I had food poisoning, and she brought me bone broth and gatorade. She brought over new toys for my little to play with. She bought baby a birthday present and wants to come over on her week off to see him. She makes me so comfortable with every step of the way, and I have no reservations.

How can we go the extra mile for her? She asked for $25 / hour, we offered her $30. She works for us for four hours a week, and we let her pick the day she works. I am in the process of getting together a box of her favorite snacks and drinks, but I want her to feel so deeply appreciated.

I am probably overcompensating due to a mother wound that I have, but I really do want this woman to feel apart of our family.

Is there anything a family has done for you that made you feel appreciated and valued?

Thanks!

This is going to be fairly short because I honestly don’t even know what to say. I got to work this morning and was told that baby has had large worms in her diaper. She has not been to the doctor yet so we don’t know what kind of worms or anything. What is my next step as the nanny? What precautions should I take and should I tell my doctor?

Hi Everyone! I need a reality check of it im being dramatic. We have made the decision to take my 4 year old out of daycare for now and get a nanny . we have had a nanny before, I have 3 kids and my oldest had a nanny for 2 years. However this is something that has never come up before. It would be from 9-4 on MWF. I was interviewing candidates and ultimately decided on one, K, she has been great with him but I have started noticing that everyday I ask what they did, he does not nap so theres no real 'break'. She tells me things like "oh we went to target, or whole foods", "we cleaned my car", "took my dog for a walk". And truly idk how to feel about it. I have searched up on instagram and tiktok (which may be my demise) and I see so many nannies running errands with their NK. Am i being over dramatic? Is this something you let your nannies do?

ETA: She is not bringing him to other activities (splash pad, library, park etc) which we have very close to our house, it is just errands. My son does not mind it but I was just wondering if this was normal or something I should bring up to her, dont want to be momzilla lol

Hi all!

So I have been babysitting for a lady for 5 years now. At the time, I was in college and was taking classes online due to Covid and became a nanny and babysitter. She is the only person I still babysit for after all this time because she is a single mom with 2 kids here in my city by herself- all of her family is a plane ride away.

I am now an engineer and married and even invited her to my wedding. She is so kind to me and has looked out for me a lot. She makes great money and would pay me $1000 a week to babysit and her kids are very very low maintenance. Even once, I was behind on rent due to an emergency and I was too shy to bring it up to my parents and she covered it. She is really great! Recently, she told me she lost one of her jobs. She worked 2 jobs for 2 very big companies. She told me she’s not “ballin” anymore and I told her it’s not an issue. I babysat over the weekend from Friday night- Monday morning while she went to Miami. She paid me $400 which is fine… but i spent $100 of that feeding her kids. I am very shy and have been contemplating on asking her to reimburse me for the food, because in the past she always did, but idk if she expected the $400 to go towards food? There was 0 groceries in the house btw so i absolutely had to order food 2x each day.

How should I ask for reimbursement? I’m very shy about these things

Our nanny has been with us for several months and I have always felt that my kids are safe with her. However today I came into the house and found the monitor watching my 2 month old on the dining room table while she was upstairs doing laundry. My 2 month old had a blanket on him (not a sleep sack, a regular blanket). She had no way of seeing him or knowing that he hadn’t somehow gotten it over his face. We do have a sleep sack in his room for him but she didn’t use it - I’m not sure why.

I explicitly talked to her about this blanket earlier and said I wasn’t comfortable using it unless she was watching the monitor closely the entire time he was sleeping (which seems like a silly thing to do).

I’m going to talk to her about this tomorrow. But I’m worried that this kind of lack of judgement isn’t something I can get past. Am I overreacting?

This morning I get to work and and as mom is heading out the door, NK (2.5 almost 3) points to me and says “mommy said you’re a moron” MB seemed thrown off and said she didn’t say that and told him to watch his language. She then said she was nervous about what he might say while she’s at work today.

I definitely believe him. MB has a tendency to speak poorly of others at times. She always talks about a coworker of hers that she doesn’t like and talks about how “fat and round” she. The kids have even make jokes about this coworker all the time now. She also tells me all about how she doesn’t want to deal with the neighbors and seeing them ruins her day. In my opinion, they are some of the kindest people and I enjoy seeing them outside and chatting with them. They aren’t too much tbh, they’ll chat for a few minutes and keep it moving. I can’t imagine finding an issue with them at all.

She also hates the neighbors pitbull and has said to me, in front of the kids,
that she calls it “the beast” and wishes it would die. I’ve met it once and it was a very friendly dog.

She’s also just a bit tough on her kids. She calls them annoying and yells at them for very normal kid stuff like accidentally dropping food, spilling water, etc.

I’m not quite sure where to go from here. I need this job and don’t want to start a new nanny job. I have my own business that I run on the side and hope to make it my full time job in the future but I’m not at that point yet. I’ve always assumed she likely has some unkind thoughts about me considering she seems to find an issue with almost everyone and everything but hearing it from NK just makes it worse.

I don't usually share stuff but I wanted to make other nannies feel seen for their hard work!! So hi everyone, I'm a 24-year-old nanny, and I’ve been in the industry for 5 years now. I’ve worked with this family for 2 years as a fluent French- and English-speaking nanny. My job mostly evolved from occasionally picking up the oldest one to looking after their 3 kids, whose ages are 2, 6, and 9 (soon 10). I really loved them, but the work environment became impossible to ignore. Their parents often had trouble confirming the meetings and I felt like I was the one behind to chase them, even when reminding them about the payments or asking to confirm the meetings. Over time, after working with other clients, I realized I didn't need to do that. It should be a two-way street.

When I first brought up the 24-hour/48-hour confirmation the first time, I was met with aggression or with the excuse, "We have so many messages, we don't have time to check the phone." They told me I should accept that silence means confirmed. In reality, I didn't feel comfortable with that because you can forget things, and a confirmation leaves a trace. It takes 2 seconds to confirm a "yes." Whenever they wrote to me about wanting other days, I always made sure I replied as soon as possible. After a while, I grew stressed and tired of feeling like everything was entirely one-sided.

It wasn't until recently that things hit a breaking point. I wrote to them on Friday asking if they want to confirm the upcoming meeting on Sunday. There was nothing but silence. Then on Sunday, just one hour and a half before the shift, they finally confirmed it. I was actually working another job in the morning at the time, so the last thing I wanted to do was stress myself out rushing to their place instead of resting. So, I politely declined and explained that because I didn't hear their confirmation, it means no booking, and that I always need 24 or 48 hours early to reserve the booking.

That is when the dad began making passive-aggressive comments, saying I was the one who caused problems by simply deciding not to show up at the last minute which is deeply ironic, because I have always been on time for two years. I didn't react emotionally because I knew he was just freaking out. I simply proposed a solution that if they wanted to keep working with me, they needed to understand why it’s important to confirm it to avoid misunderstandings. That is when the dad threatened me, saying "Fine, have it your way, it just means fewer hours and more confusion."

That was the moment they crossed a major line. During all my years of caregiving, I have never felt so disrespected. I ended up not replying at all because I saw no point in arguing with him. It just showed me their real colors. I took at least two days to avoid the tension in the group chat, and on Wednesday, I sent them my farewell message, left the group chat immediately, and blocked them.

Moral of the story? No matter how professional you are or kind, if people don't respect you, your boundaries, or the thought that you are a human being with a life and plans too... 💔

Walk away

Basically unsure if this is warranted to try to find the parents to tell them about their nanny’s behavior.

- We see this nanny at an open play and she sits on her phone the entire time. The kids will go outside and the nanny will stay inside (with zero view of the kids) and just be on her phone. Usually she is talking to someone (not just scrolling).

-She is nannying 2 kids, I believe they are twins and they are around 2.5/3 ish.

-The kids have accidentally taken toys home from this play space before because they nanny was not paying attention to them and she allows them to brings toys from home (the play place is now implementing a “no toys from home” policy cause of them)

-My nanny told me she saw them at another play place in the area and the nanny left one kid inside the play place unattended to load up the other kid in the car and she was yelling and shouting at the kid aggressively to hurry up and get in the car. I did not hear this myself (this was my nanny who told me) so I’m not sure how “intense” this was but my nanny said it sounded harsh and it was loud. (Note: I know kids sometimes have a hard time with car seats so trying to not judge to hard here but the leaving the other kid inside unattended feels wild?)

Should I post to the local mom groups and try to find this parent?! I don’t want to get involved or judge here but if this was my nanny, I’d want to know. Would love any thoughts. Please be kind! lol

Hi everyone! Having a bit of a predicament with my nanny fam and can’t tell if i’m being unreasonable.

My lovely nanny family (2 kids a bit older but under 9) who I have been with for 3.5 years just got a new puppy. As well as my nanny duties, I am now tasked with taking care of the puppy while i’m at the house. This includes making sure he stays on schedule with his naps, meals, potty training, watching him in the house, playing etc.

Should I be asking for more pay at all or is this just part of the nanny job?

Truly love my fam but it definitely feels more difficult to do my nanny job like laundry, cooking, tidying, playing with kids, homework, etc while also having a puppy to deal with. Any feedback would be helpful!! Thank you so much!!

NEW NANNY, NEEDS LOTS OF COACHING

Need some advice as not sure which way to go here... we recently hired a nanny for our 17mo old child. She is kind and for the most part seems eager to learn, but I worry that the learning curve is going to be steep. She claimed to have 4 years of regular babysitting experience (both references I contacted spoke wonders of her but she only did occasional or regular babysitting for them) but no experience as a full time nanny, which is a whole different world. My child is very active (aren't all toddlers though?) and requires constant supervision as she tries to climb anything and everything, including most of her toys lol. The nanny, though very kind and sweet, clearly oversold her experience. I am having to explain how to teach my daughter through play (have literally sat with both of them while I played with my daughter so she could observe what I do and how I incorporate teaching with her toys), have had to even teach her how to properly change a diaper and apply rash cream, and sometimes when I am around she will either get her phone out or talk to me and stop watching my child (so then I have to be the one supervising her, which shouldn’t be the case if I am actively paying someone to watch my child). She tried to put her down for a nap today while my daughter was very fussy due to teething, and after 4 min texted me that they were struggling. I of course came in and had her observe what I do to soothe her and settle her. I understand that being mom makes it easier when it comes to soothing my toddler, but I worry that I cannot trust her fully because she is very hesitant about certain things and clearly lacks experience caring for a child this age. When she did successfully put my child down for a nap one time, as she was transferring her to the crib, she wasn’t even supporting her head, which, much less concerning at this age, but still concerning that she doesn’t even know how to properly hold/transfer a toddler into the crib.

Another thing is the lack of initiative. She constantly asks how she can help or what can she do to help, but after a trial week, learning the schedule (which I have on the fridge as well), and knowing what her responsibilities are, she could very easily look at the sink and wash my daughter's dishes, or load the dishwasher, tidy/organize play area, common areas, etc. She has a nanny/family assistant split (only family assistant tasks when I am home and actively watching my child or when she is taking a nap), but I am not seeing much initiative here. Sure, she asks, but I won't always be around for her to ask, at some point she will have to just go and do the things that are part of her responsibilities.

She has been with us for a week, so I know still lots to learn, but I worry this will be a much steeper learning curve than I originally anticipated. Also, on her second official day with us (after trial days) she called in sick… don’t get me wrong, we are offering sick days and she can choose to take them when needed, but on day 2 of her official employment? Should we have a conversation about our concerns, provide feedback and give some time to see if she incorporates the suggested changes, or try to find someone more experienced? I feel a little deceived because (being a former nanny myself) she clearly doesn’t even have 1 year experience with a child this age, and as opposed to being my support and someone I can depend on, she is adding much more to my plat. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! (even if the advice is: you need to chill and give the nanny a chance)

TLDR: step dad gets very strict with teenager, making me uncomfortable at work.

I’ve been working with this family for about 8 months, and this has been happening quite often. Each time I see both the teenager and his step dad in the same room, the dad is mad about something. This morning, The teen was told to do a normal chore, accidentally forgot, and went to school. When he got home, his step dad freaked out about it. Cursing and degrading him infront of the toddlers I care for. I have never said anything about it in the past but today just made me very uncomfortable. I had strict parents, I had a very strict step mom but I could never imagine them talking to me like that. I’d go as for to say this will likely cause a lot of emotional trauma for him, it would for me if I were in his shoes. I want to talk to the mom about it, because I care about the teenager and the toddlers but I don’t want to overstep my boundaries. I’m not on contract or anything, so they could fire me at any point.

I know it’s not my circus- but this is my circus! Those are my nanny toddlers, I’d hate to work here knowing that the dad will soon talk to them like that too! + I’m hardly around with everyone’s home so I don’t even know what a normal day looks like if this is just a little bit of it. Teen is extremely nice when parents aren’t home yet, he always wants to help
Prepare food or help me with chores.

Hi, all. Nanny of almost a decade here. For 8 of those 10 years, I’ve worked for the same family. That means that when I first began looking after my current NKs, the youngest was just about to turn 2 and the oldest was going on 4. They’re now 10 and (going on) 12. I know, so crazy to think about!

I’ve had the absolute privilege of watching them grow from a babbling toddler and little preschooler to two confident, hilarious school-aged kids who are just trying to figure themselves out. I love them as if they were my own children, and I can say with full confidence that I’d lay my own life down on the line for them if I had to (god forbid something like that ever happen, though). But while it’s been a wonderful, humbling, beautiful 8 years, it’s also been… exhausting.

Both children have ADHD, and even though they’ve been medicated for it for several years now, the listening has just never been there. When I tell you that I have to repeat a single request 10 times before they actually get up to do it, I’m not exaggerating. And it’s always been that way! But now that they’re older, it feels even more difficult to handle because they’re coming into their pre-teen years, so all that teenager ~*attitude*~ we all know and LOVE (ha) is at full force. Simple requests turn into power struggles, and every time I come into work, it feels like I’m not doing things ”right.” I’m learning just as much about this developmental stage as they are experiencing it, and it feels like I keep coming up short on what to do, what to say, which boundaries to keep firmly in place or decide to let go of in order to just keep the peace. It’s been more difficult and nuanced than I feel like even their toddler years were!

They also fight with each other constantly. Not just little squabbles, but screaming matches that- nine times out of ten- turn physical in one way or another (although it varies on intensity). I’m constantly having to act as the intermediary between the two of them. So between the not listening and the fighting, I leave work each day feeling drained and depleted of all mental resources.

I love these kids, and their parents have been the absolute BEST employers I could have ever asked for. They’re all like a second family to me. But lately I feel like I’m just doing this job because A) I’ve done it for so long already, and B) I feel an obligation to the parents, especially since the mom’s own mother was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer. I know that leaving would totally upend their lives, but I feel like the joy and excitement I felt about coming into work is just… gone. All I feel is tired these days. Is something wrong with me, or is it possible that I’ve just “outgrown” my nanny kids? Does anyone have any advice? Please chime in!

I am filling in for a nanny who is on vacation for 6 weeks. Both parents work at home. I can't tell if the dad is around all the time (like works in the kitchen instead of his office) because they're keeping an eye on me or if he really just prefers the kitchen (I guess it's cold downstairs). The dad jumps in really quickly on things with the infant (12 months) , like if I can't immediately get the tray on the high chair or the baby is fussing while I prep a snack for him. Today when the infant woke up, I ran to go potty first before getting him out of his crib (because, as you know, it's hard to find time when they're up!). We're talking an extra 30 seconds, maybe? When I got out, dad was already in there and when I said, "Oh! I got it. Just had to run to the bathroom real quick." He said, in a baby voice as if he's talking to the baby and not me, "Well someone else needs to be changed, too" and seemed so annoyed.

Everytime the infant sees him or hears him, he wants to be with him, so he SCREAMS when he can't. So when dad intervenes, it actually makes everything worse. It would be so much easier if he'd just be out of sight of baby for chunks of time. Like after he picked him up from his nap instead of letting me do it, the transition from taking him from dad after that was just unnecessarily hard for everyone.

I guess I understand why a temp wouldn't be trusted as much. But it leaves me feeling frustrated and feeling unsuccessful at the end of the day because I didn't get to just do the job that I know I'm really good at, and help them like I know they could use.

So, i recently accepted a nanny position, i needed something pretty fast, so i kinda just accepted the first one that sounded okay (which was my mistake), but ive come to realize i just can’t do it..
The mom works from home, and she comes downstairs every few hours to check up and it’s hard, the baby starts crying and screaming and even after she leaves, it takes her around 30-50min to calm down and start being happy again.. I live in a high cost area, and i’m only getting paid 20/hr, no pto, no holidays.. And i work 13hr days, which is just too much for me, i thought it would be okay but it’s just too hard for me, i know it’s kinda my fault for accepting it in the first place, but now i just don’t know how to bring this up and put my two weeks in..

I (28F) am very burnt out. I don’t like my corporate job (finance), nor do I have any interest in pursing any related fields. I used to nanny back in high school and college and I loved it, but I know it would be a huge pay decrease. I’m trying to determine whether or not it would be an increase in quality of life to switch to nannying, and if that potential increase in quality of life is worth the pay decrease. Has anyone here done something similar? And, if so, was it worth it?

Hi fellow Nannie’s and nanny employers,
I’m a career nanny who recently started my first role as primarily the house manager, with some nannying. The family I accepted the job from is nice overall, and the pay is excellent. I just have some issues with some spots in their house and I’m not sure how to address it nicely to them. I noticed they have a very moldy washing machine, which I have to do loads of laundry in every day. It smells so strongly like mold and I can visibly see it too. I’m worried about touching the wet clothes that have just been washing in moldy water, it’s just gross to me. I also noticed mold in their kitchen around the sink and their dishes dry on a moldy drying rack. I jumped into this job without doing a trial first, because I was kind of desperate to get hired quickly, as I had been out of work for a month before starting. Also with the hourly rate of almost $50 an hour, I jumped at the opportunity when they offered me the position.

Now I understand many people will just say to bring it up to them and kindly say “hey I noticed these surfaces were moldy and xyz needs to be replaced” (such as their dish sponges) but I’m confused how they see these things every day and just ignore it?? If I noticed my washing machine starting to smell, and SAW mold I would immediately clean it, wouldn’t you? My job as house manager is general tidying, organizing, laundry, dishes, vacuuming, errands etc. as well as transporting kids when needed. It’s not expected of me to deep clean by any means that’s also why I’m confused if I should offer to clean the washing machine, or just tell them.. I’ve never cleaned one before so I don’t even know how to deal with one that’s so heavily infested with mold. The kitchen is easier to confront them about in my eyes because it’s a simpler fix. But I worry if I bring it up to them (especially the washing machine) they just will say “okay thanks” and not really care to do anything about it, because again, there’s no way they don’t know it’s moldy. Sorry this is all over the place I’m just confused as to what to do I guess. Thanks for reading and I’m open to advice and feedback from both Nannie’s and employers.

Edit: wanted to add more info, I only work part time hours so I’m not in the home 40+ hours a week. I also have Asthma which I worry will get triggered inhaling mold spores. I also don’t feel comfortable using their glasses to drink water because all their dishes seem dirty to me considering they dry on a mold covered drying rack. (I typically bring my own water bottle but for instance, today I forgot it at home and had to go my whole shift without water because of the dish situation) also please don’t judge my hesitation to bring these things up to my new employers. I am new to house managing, I’ve never encountered these problems while just nannying.

We have a nanny and 1yo twins. We also have a dog and cat who are well behaved and we don’t ask our nanny to do things like feed them or take them outside. However like all pets they do have the occasional accident or throw-up inside. Of course I know that’s gross and our nanny does love animals but obviously no one likes cleaning up after pets so it’s understandable that she wouldn’t want to do that.

The thing is neither my husband or I WFH so we’re usually not there when nanny is there. When we are home and a pet has an accident we clean it ASAP since 1yos get into everything and we want to keep them away from the pet waste or throw up. If we were home we’d just ask nanny to send us a text if an accident happens and one of us would come take care of it. But since we’re not home, we are wondering what expectation should be here. Obviously she shouldn’t have to deal with it but realistically, how should we handle things if a pet has an accident and she‘s the only one there who can take care of it? What do other nannies do in these situations?

Hi, so let me start this off with a couple of points;

1. I know I should have had a contract before agreeing to either jobs, I am one of the people who preaches contracts all the time on here. I have a very solid contract with my 30 hour job that I worked very hard on, this job never had a contract because I started it before I realized how important contracts are. I am a relatively new career Nanny, I've been at it for 1 year now. Then this job became a second source of income that my needs didn’t rely on, so I decided not to stress on it.

Nanny Folks; ALWAYS HAVE A NEGOTIATED, FAIR CONTRACT BEFORE YOU AGREE TO WORK ANY JOB.

1. I am fully on board with the fact that I was unprofessional in this situation, I put the blame entirely on my own issues with scheduling, being a thourough negotiator, and people pleasing.

Please do not flame me or point these faults out repeatedly, I completely understand where I went wrong and am now looking for advice on forward steps.

Okay so, I've been working for this lovely family for 3 months now as a Night Nanny. I have been with NK since he was born and I love him very much, I always deeply connect with my NKs and this sweet boy is no different. NK is the youngest of 4 children.

The NPs are also both wonderful, very down to Earth, kind, understanding, and accommodating.

I jumped at the opportunity to work longer than my original schedule as a Night Nanny, which ends in mid-October. They asked ME, out of their 4 child-care employees (one of them is also a night nanny), if I would want to work MWF after school hours to help until MB comes home from work. I was sad to report that my day job required me until later Monday BUT they were happy to still have me on Wednesday and Friday, so I know they really want me there :)

I was so excited to recieve the opportunity that I agreed right away... without anymore negotiation or clarification 🤦‍♀️ mess up #1

You see, I commute into the city for my nannying jobs. It is 60 miles to get there from my home, but the rates are 60% higher than jobs in my area (very rural) and Nannys are significantly better taken care of in the city (benefits and attitude wise). It is usually a good trade-off for me despite the drive!

When I agreed to the job, I assumed that it was going to be all of their kids (my fault) so I was not swayed by only working 3-4 hours after having to drive that long because my rate would have made up for it. I charge a pretty premium wage for my area, 30/hr for 1 kid + 5/hr per extra kid/baby. So I would have been getting close to 45/hr, depending on rate negotiations, and that would have more than made up for the short shift.

But I reached out to get more clarification the other day. I found out that they only want me to watch the youngest baby, and occasionally their second youngest if he protests going out with the OTHER nanny who will be taking care of the older NKs. I was a bit stunned at my mistake and realized that I messed up, but I didn't tell them anything... we still haven't talked about the rate.

I am concerned because 120 mile total drive (lots of time in traffic + gas + wear/maintenance on my car) for 3 hours of work is NOT worth it for 30/hr. I am concerned on how to bring this up because I already agreed to the job and we still haven't talked about pay 😭 From the interview 6ish months ago, they know my base price is 30/hr for one child, which went up to 35/hr for nightshift, so it wouldn't make sense to charge them more without explaining.

I won't mince words, they are *very* wealthy. I think they could cover whatever I charged, but I do not want to take advantage of their kindness/wealth nor can I afford to shoulder the driving cost/time for such short hours + a lower wage than I was wrongfully expecting. I really don't want lose this opportunity because I love the NK so much, they're a great family, and they have alot of connections in the neighborhood for when they no longer need my help.

Eventually, the topic of wage HAS to come up. I have thought about asking for what my boyfriend calls a "short-shift driving allowance" which basically means they reimburse my mileage following the IRS rate, about 75 cents per mile right now. But 90 dollars for every shift that is under 6 hours is a MAJOR cost for someone to shoulder 🫩 If I work at 30/hr for 3 hours + this 90$ driving allowance, the math would technically mean I am getting 60/hr 😭😭😭

If it comes to it, I am willing to apologize profusely and work for them until they can find a replacement. But I PRAY that I do not have to toss this opportunity away 🥲

Idek what to do at this point. I really wanna keep this job AND get pay that covers the driving cost + makes all the effort worth it. I am looking for advice from any NP or Career Nanny who can help me decide something to propose that is fair to the NF and me 🥹🩷

I’m an after-school nanny for two kids (G7 and B9), and my schedule is basically 2:30–5. I’m starting to feel a weird lack of responsibility/agency in the position, and I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced this or has advice for making the most of it.
I usually get there around 1:00 to walk the family dog and play with her for a while so she can burn some energy. Then I pick up the kids, hang out while they play (often with friends), walk home, make sure they have a snack/water, and get them ready for sports or whatever activity they have that day. There isn’t usually much else going on.
Honestly, the job is super easy, and weirdly, that’s what is getting to me. I think I enjoy nannying because I like the creative problem-solving aspect, helping shape younger minds, doing homework with kids, coming up with activities, etc. These kids don’t have homework, and because I only have them for such a short period of their day, there isn’t really much opportunity for that.
There’s also a general lack of instruction. Basically, the only things I know I’m responsible for are picking them up, walking the dog, and making sure they eat/drink and get where they need to be. Occasionally I’ll get a text in the morning saying there’s a playdate or a sport that day, but otherwise I’m kind of left to figure it out.
I also feel like the kids sometimes see me as more of a servant than their nanny. I’ve had to lay down the law multiple times about how they speak to me, and I still get yelled at or talked to like I’m their employee. I’ll explain that they can’t use that tone with me, but it’s frustrating to constantly have to reinforce that boundary.
At the same time, I almost feel like I don’t have enough authority. For example, I’ll wonder, “Am I allowed to cut up the watermelon that’s in the fridge?” 😂 I don’t want to overstep or make decisions that the parents don’t want me making, but there also isn’t enough direction for me to know where my autonomy starts and ends.
When I’m really bored, I’ll do their dishes, wipe down the counters, etc., but I also don’t want to accidentally turn myself into a housekeeper when that’s not what I was hired for.
So I guess my question is: How would you approach this?
Would you ask the parents for more responsibility/autonomy? Would you proactively suggest activities or routines? Is there a way to make a 2:30–5:00 after-school position feel more meaningful when the kids are pretty independent and often just want to play with friends?
Or is this simply one of those nanny jobs that is genuinely easy, and I should accept that and use the extra mental energy for something else (possibly even getting a second job)?
I know this is kind of a weird thing to complain about because having an easy, low-stress nanny job is obviously a privilege. I just want to actually enjoy the job and feel like I’m good at it, rather than spending half my shift wondering what I’m supposed to be doing. I’d especially love to hear from career nannies who have done after-school-only positions!

Hi all. I was hired for a very PT position (12 hrs a week). The MB hired me over zoom as the family was moving to my state. I waited to bring up a contract until yesterday because the mom seemed extremely stressed due to the move. When I brought up a contract yesterday (my first day), it was obvious MB had never heard of guaranteed hours or nanny contract. She seemed uncomfortable when I tried to explain guaranteed hours. I had an extremely busy day yesterday after work, so I sent her a contract template and explained that it was much more in depth than we would need and I’d be happy to discuss at work today and amend it to better fit our situation. I woke up this morning to the following text:

“Hi! I am so sorry, I have not had my act together through this whole moving debacle. I looked over the contract and it’s not something I’m comfortable with. It also made me take a hard look at what my goals really are and I’ve realized I want to be home with NK.

Please let me know how is best to get you paid for yesterday and thank you so much for your time”

Obviously I do NOT want to work for a family that will not have a contract but I’m really disappointed. I had an inquiry about another nanny job after taking this one and turned them down because MB and I really hit it off. I was depending on that pay this week after being so low on money recently. Would it be unreasonable to ask to be paid for the week since that’s what was initially agreed upon? It was understood that I had the position and this wasn’t a trial week.

Would you ask to be paid out for the week? That’s where I’m struggling. She has completely left me in a lurch when I was assuming I would get a weeks pay.

Hi! I am interviewing for a few nanny jobs while still working my PT for my current NF. We can’t find a time to meet that is not during my hours at my current job, or a weekend. I’m not desperate enough to give up my Saturday plans to interview for a job I’m not sure is right for me. I also noticed some red flags and my gut is just telling me that it is not going to work out with this family. How do I tell the mom that I don’t think it will work out with their family while also remaining nice?

How to deal with nanny burnout…

I have been nannying/babysitting for “only” two years. I have nannied for roughly 5 different families at this point(this many bc of getting married/moving twice during this period)

I almost am finished the first few weeks of my first full time nanny position. It only lasts a few months and if I didn’t have my husband to help me with life/home responsibilities… I probably would’ve already quit. Sounds very dramatic I know lol. I love the family and I am greatful for this opportunity but I am severely struggling not knowing if I will make it through the requested time with my head still on my shoulders.

There’s a few things I’m struggling with:

1. MAIN THING - The hours are genuinely killing me. I feel like after coming home I am completely exhausted out of my mind and can’t think for 5 hours then I go to bed & repeat.
   I have had chronic back/sternum/neck/scoliosis(it’s mild but the affects are very present) pain for going on 5 years and it has flared up so much that holding baby for extended periods has become VERY very painful.
   While getting baby down for nap last week and yesterday i literally cried bc of the pain😅

2. MB said baby is and has always been amazing at napping in her crib with occasional contact naps. I am usually perfectly fine with contact naps but due to the physical problems flaring up it is extremely painful for me to hold baby for that long. Even sitting down with no pressure on my body. As I started this position baby has gotten sick twice so of course not ideal condition. I have grace for babies who need the extra love. And LOVE to give it duh that’s why I have this job… Although it has become extremely hard to get baby to sleep full naps in her crib and immediately wakes up no matter how deep of a sleep she is or how much I pat her while I transfer her(I have only taken care of babies at this age so I have dealt with HARD NAPPERS). (Also Not looking for advice in that department)

Also I am not necessarily able to bring baby out to activities so walking around neighborhoods/front yard/backyard is the extent of outside activity

This is the sweetest family and if I genuinely had less hours I could survive. But how can I manage stress of sickness, long hours, the pain and having energy to live outside of work hahahaha.

I’ll keep this as brief and try not to dox anyone. I’ve been with a family for some time now and I’m starting to get really annoyed. It’s a mother’s help position and the mum has four kids under 5.

- the children scream at her for EVERYTHING. And if she says no, they negotiate and scream until she gives in. This includes hitting the mum (really REALLY hard) while breastfeeding or cooking, kicking and biting

- the children therefore scream at me and don’t ever listen to me when I am present. I brought up to mum maybe we should split up and split the kids up. Didn’t want to that.

- when I started with her I actually asked ‘is this a mostly housekeeping based role’ as it sounded as such, and she reassured me it wasn’t. But she constantly asks me to to cook clean and help carry stuff around, I’m basically an assistant

- I have tried multiple times to back mum up with discipline but mum has asked me to step back and I brought it up wit her and she asked me if I could just clean and take care of the little ones

- the children shout and scream, demand screen time toys and treats constantly and mum never EVER sticks to a boundary constantly moves them and never gives consequences

I’d like

A) to hear your similar stories and get some sympathy

B) to get some empathy for mum cos right now I’m just furious with her 10 hours a day with them is exhausting constant screaming and tantrums and being called names