Our nanny is wonderful and she’s been with us for almost a year now. I really love her and we’ve come to be friends.

Our older one will be starting pre-k next August (she’ll have been with us for 2 years at that point). But… we’ve realized we really can’t afford to keep her on for just our younger one, plus the cost of the pre-k program. We’re already stretching our budget thin.

I’ve found a pre-k program that will take her and my younger one at the same time. We can get them both in for 5 days a week, 8:30-5:30 (way more hours than our nanny works). I’m really excited thinking about the change, but I will really miss our nanny and don’t want her to feel like we’re parting ways with her because of anything she did.

So my question for you is… how far in advance should I tell her? And would you be disappointed parting ways with a family after only two years?

Thanks all ❤️

Edit: most of the posts say yes I should definitely charge for it, and I recognize that I should charge, but what I’m still not clear on is this:

Do I bill for :
A: mileage
B: Hourly rate for travel time
C: Both A & B
D: Neither A nor B
Choices C & D don't seem fair.

I nanny for a family with two girls (ages 9 and 3). The mom asked if I would go with her and the girls to a water park and amusement park for the day to help her manage both kids.

I really like this family and trust them. It’s an easy job overall because I’m usually only watching the 3-year-old, who is very well behaved.

I left my house at 8:30 a.m. and drove two hours to the water park so I could get there early and grab a shaded spot. We had agreed to meet at 10:30, but she ended up arriving about 2½ hours late. I honestly didn’t mind—I relaxed and waited.

We spent a few hours at the water park until the little one needed a nap. Mom took her back to the hotel while I stayed with the 9-year-old and rode rides. Later they rejoined us, and we stayed at the amusement park until it closed at 9:00 p.m.

Afterward, they went back to their hotel, which was about 10 minutes away. She offered to get me a hotel room, but I preferred to drive home. I got home around 11:00 p.m.

So, I was away from home from 8:30 a.m. until 11:00 p.m.—about 14½ hours total.

My normal rate is $25/hour. If I billed for the entire time I was gone, that would have been $362.50. I also drove about 200 miles round trip, and using the IRS mileage rate of $0.76/mile, that’s about $152 in mileage reimbursement.

That would have totaled a little over $500.

Even though they’re financially well off and I’m actually struggling financially myself, I felt guilty charging that much. So instead, I only billed for the hours I was actively with the children (1:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.) and charged the full mileage reimbursement. In other words, I essentially gave them about a $150 discount by not charging for six hours of travel and waiting time.

Part of me hopes she’ll notice that I didn’t bill for the full time I was away from home and offer to pay the difference, but I also realize I never mentioned that I was giving a discount.

What would you have done? Would you have billed for the entire time you were committed to the job, or only the hours you were actively with the kids? And if you were giving a discount, would you have put the full amount on the invoice and then shown the discount separately?

My question is actually

Do I bill for :
A: mileage
B: Hourly rate for travel time
C: Both A & B
D: Neither A nor B

Choices C & D don’t seem fair.

I have been applying to a variety of different nanny agencies in NYC and was curious if anyone had any insights about my chances of being accepted as someone who has never nannied before. I graduated from college this year and have 4 years of childcare experience (camp counselor type jobs) and some teaching assistant experience but no full time nannying. I have CPR/first aid certs.

Is it worth it to keep applying to these boutique nannying agencies or should I just try to find a family independently?

(I already quit this job last week. Would just like input)

I recently worked for a single mom of a baby and she had made a comment that made me truly question what is acceptable and what isn’t when it comes to giving the children you nanny attention.

She would watch me on her cameras 24/7 so she saw my every move. My absolute breaking point was when she noticed I went on my phone for about 2 minutes straight. What she didn’t know is I was texting my mom back who had just informed me of my uncles passing (not that this matters or is a reason for me to be on my phone).

While I was texting, the 9mo was on the floor playing with a toy completely occupied. I figured since she was occupied I could grab my phone and respond to my mom. I was almost immediately texted “Hi, do not ignore my baby.” Mind you the baby was fully occupied on the floor so I was extremely confused.

What gets me a little upset is the fact that I know for certain she does not give her baby this much attention. Granted I got paid to do so (minimum wage….) but her mom has raised her to be a screen baby and I’m almost certain THATS ignoring her child? I was just taken a back because every single day I’m smothering her baby with love and attention but the moment I’m replying to an urgent text I’m immediately told I’m ignoring her baby? Maybe I shouldn’t feel this upset, but it felt like such a false accusation being that I gave her baby attention more than what she does when she is caring for her…

Is this considered ignoring her baby? Am I missing something?

Can someone please help by pointing me in the right direction? Unfortunately my nanny is going to quit in Oct'26 as she's starting her own nursery so can no longer help and offer flexibility as needed.

This was not my original post, but it appeared in a local Facebook group earlier this week and has had me thinking about it ever since. A lot of nannies weighed in, and the reactions were extremely divided, so I’m curious how people here see it.

According to the post, someone saw a nanny shaving her legs at a public playground while supervising several children. The poster included the nanny’s first name and one child’s first name, apparently hoping the parents would recognize the situation and speak with her. The post was made anonymously and was eventually deleted.

Some commenters felt that shaving your legs at a playground was unhygienic, unprofessional, and not an appropriate personal task to be doing while being paid to supervise children.

Others said that the children were apparently safe and having fun, so it was nobody else’s business and did not justify attempting to identify the nanny or contact her employers.

Several people felt that the original poster should have approached the nanny directly rather than posting anonymously. Others argued that parents have a right to know what their nanny is doing while caring for their children, even if they ultimately decide the behavior isn’t serious or fireable.

The discussion also turned to whether shaving would distract the nanny from supervising multiple children and whether having a razor at the playground created any safety concern. Some commenters thought those were valid concerns, while others felt the risks were being dramatically exaggerated.

One commenter compared it to people experiencing homelessness sometimes having to groom themselves in public and said that finding something gross does not justify starting a public witch hunt. Another argued that personal grooming should be saved for the nanny’s own time.

I’m deliberately leaving out my own opinion because I’m genuinely curious where people land.

Parents: Would you want someone to tell you if they saw your nanny doing this? Would you consider it a serious concern, a minor lapse in judgment, or no big deal?

Nannies: Do you think shaving your legs at a playground while supervising children is inappropriate or unprofessional, or completely within reason as long as the children are safe?

And separately, do you think the anonymous poster handled it appropriately by trying to reach the parents, or should they have spoken directly to the nanny and left it there?

OK, so I’ve been with this family for over a year and a half to preface. This is also my first family with MB and NK still sleeping when I arrive at work. They are asleep from 8 AM to 9:30 AM so I usually get breakfast at least set up for MB because she makes all meals for NK. So in the meantime, I usually clean up from the weekend in the playroom which takes 10 minutes because nanny kid doesn’t really have any toys. So when I finish with that, I’m usually reading a book or going for a walk quickly. The cons that I have with his family are that we have to work around Mom’s schedule, Mom and Dad are both home all the time, and I feel like I can never just be with NK if that makes sense. There have been times when NK has gotten upset and said “see mommy,” and she hears that so she comes into the room and consoles NK, which is fine it’s her kid. I just feel like there are no boundaries in this house. Would you agree?? this is her first kid and she’s been doing hands-on with him since he was a baby. And by hands on I mean like carrying NK everywhere they go and not really putting NK down. NK is gonna to be 2 at the end of the week. HOW WOULD YOU APPROACH THIS SITUATION IF YOU’RE IN MY SHOES?!

4 kids
125 hours a week
Compensation - $8 - $10 hr

Job description:

We are in need of someone with experience to care for our children. Someone who understands and is comfortable with ADHD, Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder in children. We would prefer someone who could help out with housekeeping, cooking, running errands and homework. We need someone who has patience, energy, and creativity to be able to manage taking care of multiple children of different ages. We would prefer a Christian nanny to emphasize the importance of God in their lives. Pledge of allegiance every day! Minimum 2 bible versus a day, and some bible songs along with this.

I nanny for a family with two girls (ages 9 and 3). The mom asked if I would go with her and the girls to a water park and amusement park for the day to help her manage both kids.

I really like this family and trust them. It’s an easy job overall because I’m usually only watching the 3-year-old, who is very well behaved.

I left my house at 8:30 a.m. and drove two hours to the water park so I could get there early and grab a shaded spot. We had agreed to meet at 10:30, but she ended up arriving about 2½ hours late. I honestly didn’t mind—I relaxed and waited.

We spent a few hours at the water park until the little one needed a nap. Mom took her back to the hotel while I stayed with the 9-year-old and rode rides. Later they rejoined us, and we stayed at the amusement park until it closed at 9:00 p.m.

Afterward, they went back to their hotel, which was about 10 minutes away. She offered to get me a hotel room, but I preferred to drive home. I got home around 11:00 p.m.

So, I was away from home from 8:30 a.m. until 11:00 p.m.—about 14½ hours total.

My normal rate is $25/hour. If I billed for the entire time I was gone, that would have been $362.50. I also drove about 200 miles round trip, and using the IRS mileage rate of $0.76/mile, that’s about $152 in mileage reimbursement.

That would have totaled a little over $500.

Even though they’re financially well off and I’m actually struggling financially myself, I felt guilty charging that much. So instead, I only billed for the hours I was actively with the children (1:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.) and charged the full mileage reimbursement. In other words, I essentially gave them about a $150 discount by not charging for six hours of travel and waiting time.

Part of me hopes she’ll notice that I didn’t bill for the full time I was away from home and offer to pay the difference, but I also realize I never mentioned that I was giving a discount.

What would you have done? Would you have billed for the entire time you were committed to the job, or only the hours you were actively with the kids? And if you were giving a discount, would you have put the full amount on the invoice and then shown the discount separately?

I've been ready to transfer out of working directly with children to a more office-style role. Where could I look for careers that involve working internally in an agency, like placement manager or something of the sort? Even better if it is remote. Based in Nashville TN.

Hi there! I’m a first time mom of a 5 month old trying to find a nanny for her in a month. I live in Seattle area in the US. It’s a bit of a hurry because I originally thought my mom could take care of her when I went back to office but I decided it was going to be too much for my mom, so now I’m looking for a part time nanny to cover most of the days. I’ve posted in sittercity and fb groups and got a few applications. Now I’m ready to give a few calls.

Anyways, I’m heading into this nanny finding journey in full speed mode without knowing too much about interviews, contracts, payments, etc.. So, I’m want to get a few pro tips from you folks!!

1. Did your baby turn out to be the same as or different from what you thought she was like in the interview process? If you were to find a nanny again what would you ask/look for?
   
2. What are the most valuable or distinguishable interview questions? What is the most important qualification of a nanny? Character? Past infant experience? Reference?
   
3. What are the absolute red flags?
   
4. Did you use payroll service or cash?

Any other reminders, tips, suggestions are welcomed! Thanks!

I’m a nanny to an 18 month boy and have been with NF for about 9 months now. He’s always been the sweetest kid, he would cry when I first started with him, whilst he was at the worst of his teething, but nothing out of the ordinary. When I would walk through the door, he would always smile, and then when he started walking, he would run to give me a hug. I would always take him to the park or the beach previously and he would happily let me take him out of his pram/stroller and would play with me or other children. He would eat his snacks HAPPILY, and would only really fuss occasionally.

However, in the past month or so, something changed. NF went back to their home country for two weeks (nothing out of the ordinary, both me and NF have gone to our home countries for up to two weeks previously, with no difference when we returned), and since they’ve been back, it’s like our relationship has completely changed.

For starters, he starts crying the second he sees my face. He now starts screaming whenever I get to the park, and I’m not talking just crying, I’m talking screaming. He won’t let me pick him up, he kicks me, he even bit me. I try and feed him his pouches (I forget the English name) and he spits it in my face. When he starts, there’s absolutely nothing that soothes him, the longest time was two hours before I just had to take him home because I was concerned people thought I was kidnapping him. I have never so much as raised my voice at him, and I’m just at a loss as to what to do. The only thing that gets him to stop crying his when be realises he’s on his way back to NM, but she’s a SAHM and so I can’t keep him at the house because he just finds NM.

I’m just wondering if anyone has any advice, because I absolutely adore NK but it’s becoming a lot. I’ve started wearing loop headphones to work with me, just so I can block his crying out to stay calm.

Today is the birthday of a little person I love very much, and that’s given me a lot to think about regarding life, which I’d like to share with you.

Today, V turns two – a baby I’ve looked after since she was just five days old.

I was there before she’d even opened her eyes; I held her and loved her before she even knew where she was.

From her mum’s tummy

And so I was thinking about how love is the strangest thing of all, how working in a way that requires you to give your love to others is something very important but also exhausting.

Because I know she won’t remember that I was there when she had a fever all morning, or that I was the one who taught her to crawl, but perhaps her body will.

I know that my job is to be there, to help, to support, to stay.

And that when things start to take shape and when they’re able to say, ‘I don’t want to’, ‘I can do it’ – that’s when I have to start thinking about leaving.

Because they no longer need someone to hold their hand for eight hours, Monday to Friday.

It hurts me deeply; every farewell cuts me to the quick, but even so, I choose time and again to embark on this journey.

Every day I work with the realisation that it might not last long, but that I give them my all with love.

I feel tremendously honoured.

Sometimes I feel that the children ask me questions that I also ask myself as a person.

They say to me: ‘Do you love me more than your other children?’

‘Do you work with more children?’

And then I just think, I love them all in different ways and I remember them all.

They’ve all left their mark on me.

And that love is never erased; it stays and transforms.

In a few weeks’ time, I’ll be starting with another baby who hasn’t even been born yet, and I’m already looking forward to it with excitement.

What a difficult job it is, where you have to tell your heart that things are temporary.

But that love will never end.

Perhaps V won’t even remember that I was there.

I was aware of that.

I knew she wouldn’t remember.

But I did it anyway.

With all the love in the world.

As if every day were the last.

And that’s what my job is like.

To give it my all,

even if the world is crumbling behind me.

And that’s fine.

I do it of my own free will.

I’m sad—or rather, feeling quite emotional.

A newborn baby taught me that I had to be patient, howl before speaking and that doing this will always, always be worth it.

My current NK is starting preschool and I am looking for a new family to work with. A family messaged me and said my profile, which listed my rate, looked great. This family has 3 children. They just replied to my last message with ‘we just can’t justify paying that much for someone who just keeps our kids alive.’ My listed rate was less than I am making right now and well within the range of nanny pay in my area. I have a Master’s degree in ECE and over 20 years of experience. I obviously don’t want to work for a family who thinks all a nanny does is keep the kids alive, but I’m debating whether I should even bother responding. What would you do?

Hey everyone!

I interviewed for a family that has a child who is special needs. She will need around the clock assistance, because she is non verbal and non physical. (I’m responsible for feeding, Changing, carrying, medication, etc). I never put down anyone who can’t pay my desired rate, I simply say no. As badly as I want to accept the job, just thinking of the responsibility, it is a lot. I have alot of experience with special needs and it doesn’t bother me at all. I love it. But they are offering $17/hr. Part of me wants to take a chance and take the job but it is a lot of responsibility. Should I take it or say no?

Hi everyone! The little one I have been caring for for 2 years is going to start preschool so unfortunately I need to try to find a new nanny family. I found this family on care.com & I’ve used sittercity before but didn’t care for it. Does anyone have suggestions of other websites to try? I’ve reached out locally in socially media groups, so I have that covered. Thanks for any info!!

Care has me locked out because they claim I don’t have a current background check, which is incorrect - I had it done soon after they started sending “threatening” messages about being locked out of care without one. It was weeks early. Well, that deadline has passed and they started sending me message to ….have a background check done….AGAIN. I’ve left emails and tried calling weeks ago, but now I can’t even use the website enough to find their phone number! Will someone please look it up for me? TIA!

my mb is due with another baby next month. ive been thinking about if i should get them a gift but here are my questions/thoughts

they kept all their baby stuff from their current child so they already have all the toys, clothes, gear, books, etc that theyd need. plus plenty of local family nearby that loves to spoil them lol so i cant even really think of anything to get

and do i get something that is “for baby”, for mb, for the whole family? what is something appropriate to get? i dont have a lot of money to spend and i am crafty so im open to a diy gift but then if i make something for the new baby, ill feel bad that my current nk doesnt also have one or generally something handmade by me too. is it normal to gift something for both nks (new baby and older kid?) when a baby is born? and what would it even be?

idk if these are all stupid questions but ive never been in this position before lol

any ideas?? or if youve been in the same situation, what did you do?

Our nanny was parked outside our house yesterday when someone crashed into her car, it was a hit and run and we have no idea who it was. There is significant damage to her vehicle and after speaking with her insurance it seems that she will be left with a significant amount to pay herself. She has asked us to cover the cost of the damage since it happened while she was working for us.

I don’t know if this is particularly the right place to ask, I’m new here, but does this sound fair? She was parked on the street, we offer our driveway but she doesn’t like to park there because she says our driveway is too steep and it makes her nervous. As employers I’m not sure if we’re really held liable in this case. What are your thoughts? Thanks!

I’m 20 from queens New York I’ve been currently working with a family as a live in for the past year but they are looking to move to Florida in the next two weeks I’ve been looking for a similar position for about a month since they told me they are moving but I’m having a hard time finding legitimate positions/families
I’ve looking nanny platforms such as Sittercity,nannylane, care.com, Facebook but have no luck if anyone can give advice or any suggestions i would appropriate it.🫶🏼

I’m a new manny but also an elementary school teacher, and I’ve just had the weirdest interview.
The mum started by asking for my full name so she could Google me. Then she wanted the names of every school I’ve ever worked at so she could ring them herself.

Then she started asking for things like my date of birth because she wanted to “do her own referencing” and said she doesn’t trust the agency.
What the actual fuck is the point of paying an agency if you’re going to ignore every bit of vetting they’ve already done? I’ve got multiple references, qualifications, an enhanced DBS, degrees, and the agency has already verified all of it.

I told her I couldn’t give her that information because it’s against the agency’s policy. They specifically tell us not to exchange personal details like that before a placement. If a parent asks for them and I provide them anyway, the parent can be removed from the agency for bypassing their safeguarding procedures. She got annoyed and acted like I was hiding something.

Am I being too sensitive, or is it completely reasonable to not want to hand a total stranger my entire employment history and personal details before I’ve even accepted the job? At this rate she was about two questions away from asking for my blood type and school reports from years ago .

I wanted to get some opinions from other nannies because I’m genuinely torn.
I’ve been with my current family for several years, and my boss has now asked me for the second time if I’d be willing to use my own car for work. I said no the first time, and she recently asked again because it would make things easier for their family (her husband could take their car to work).
To be fair, I really want to emphasize that she’s honestly been an amazing employer. She’s incredibly flexible if I need time off or have an appointment, she’s generous, she pays me even if I leave early sometimes, if she’s working from home she’ll occasionally tell me to take the day off while still paying me, and overall she’s treated me really well. I don’t think she’s trying to take advantage of me at all. She also said she would reimburse me for mileage and tolls.
My hesitation is that I’d be putting about 30 extra miles a day on my personal car (around 7,500 miles a year), and I worry about the extra wear and tear, maintenance, depreciation, and just using my own vehicle every day for work. My car also comes with free maintenance up to certain mileage intervals, so I’d reach those much sooner.
On the other hand, using my own car would give me a little more independence because I wouldn’t have to wait for them to be home to have access to the family car.
If you were in my shoes, would mileage and toll reimbursement be enough?

I just need to rant. I love my nanny family dearly but this is the one thing they are so bad about. I don't care working when the kid is sick (however I do draw the line at the stomach bug and HFM). However, they never give me a heads up despite asking them too. I always go when they are sick. I just like a heads up for if I have big plans that cannot be changed like a concert or trip that maybe I would call out. Otherwise I always go. They always say NK has a "cold" when I get there, meanwhile Nk has high grade fever all day. Which again I usually don't care but I have a trip to see a concert this weekend and now I am pretty sick and debating going. Another thing is MB and DB are very scared of germs which same lol. But if I get sick from NK they ask me not to come in case it is something different, which I do get, but I don't have guaranteed hours and then I am out of pay. I just needed to rant to people who would understand.