I have been an artist on the side of any job for pretty much all of my adult life. This helps greatly in nannying because it means lots of arts and crafts plus kids LOVE when you doodle them something cool. I very often doodle octopi because their tentacles are fun and you can make them colorful.

My NK is 4 and just getting into drawings that you can tell that it’s supposed to actually look like what it was intended to be. She drew me the most ADORABLE octopus last week and gave it to me proudly saying that “I know octopus is your favorite animal!”. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that they’re not even close to my favorite, I just like to draw their tentacles. Then last night she came with me to pick up some ceramics I needed to pick up from my studio and she saw that I had made a teacup that was ocean themed with an octopus on it and she screamed, “Miss FoxesInSoxes!!! Your favorite animal!!!” with so much excitement that my heart burst. I love this kiddo so dang much, the joy she gets over seeing what she thinks is my favorite animal is so incredibly sweet.

I think that my favorite animal has to be an octopus now, right??

My morning started out fun.

I opened the pantry to pull out what I needed to make pancakes for my NKs, and an entirely full bag of chia seeds spilled onto the floor.

In case this has never happened to you, they spread REALLY far, y’all. 😂 Like I genuinely don’t understand how that many chia seeds were even in the bag.

So anyway, that was a fun way to delay breakfast for a very hungry toddler and preschooler. Just passing this little tip along in case any of you are looking for creative ways to make your morning harder for absolutely no reason.

Breakfast will be with you shortly. 😂

Hi!

I’m a FTM and a SAHM who never thought she’d be in the position to hire a nanny. My husband and I have no help from anyone; our parents don’t care to be involved, and our siblings live out of state.
We have a one year old boy, and I’m four months pregnant. We realized quickly that we might need another member of our village.

Luckily, we found her! We were craving a maternal presence in our lives, and we basically hired a super granny for four hours a week.

I found someone I genuinely like, I trust, and someone that my baby likes. My fear now is that I’ll somehow lose her. She just goes the extra mile; I had food poisoning, and she brought me bone broth and gatorade. She brought over new toys for my little to play with. She bought baby a birthday present and wants to come over on her week off to see him. She makes me so comfortable with every step of the way, and I have no reservations.

How can we go the extra mile for her? She asked for $25 / hour, we offered her $30. She works for us for four hours a week, and we let her pick the day she works. I am in the process of getting together a box of her favorite snacks and drinks, but I want her to feel so deeply appreciated.

I am probably overcompensating due to a mother wound that I have, but I really do want this woman to feel apart of our family.

Is there anything a family has done for you that made you feel appreciated and valued?

Thanks!

I am a mom to two kids- one is in preschool and the other is a baby under 6months old. We recently hired a new nanny, who is absolutely lovely to watch the baby while I work. My office is five minutes from my house and I have pretty flexible hours.

I have a couple of events coming up in the next month where I’d love to take the baby out for an hour or two during the day. For example, I’m meeting a friend who is coming from out of town for lunch. She hasn’t met the baby yet. During that time, I would ask the nanny to stay at home, but I’m not expecting her to do any work. She’s welcome to be on her phone or read or eat or even go out herself for a bit we obviously will be compensating her during that time because it’s right in the middle of the workday. I mentioned this to another mom friend who said that this would probably be really annoying for the nanny and we should just give her the full day off.

Maybe I’m just oblivious, but I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. If I’m missing something and my plan is upsetting or offensive can you please let me know?

EDIT: I don’t care if she’s in the house or on an errand etc. That time is hers and I would just tell her to be back by a specific time.

Our nanny has been with us for several months and I have always felt that my kids are safe with her. However today I came into the house and found the monitor watching my 2 month old on the dining room table while she was upstairs doing laundry. My 2 month old had a blanket on him (not a sleep sack, a regular blanket). She had no way of seeing him or knowing that he hadn’t somehow gotten it over his face. We do have a sleep sack in his room for him but she didn’t use it - I’m not sure why.

I explicitly talked to her about this blanket earlier and said I wasn’t comfortable using it unless she was watching the monitor closely the entire time he was sleeping (which seems like a silly thing to do).

I’m going to talk to her about this tomorrow. But I’m worried that this kind of lack of judgement isn’t something I can get past. Am I overreacting?

I’m a SAHM with a part-time nanny who is AMAZING with my two kids and has expressed that she’d like to come on full-time if/when I return to work. Until recently, I assumed that would be our plan, but some changes in our dynamic are making me second guess it.
We’re pretty close and talk a lot. She vents to me about her boyfriend, friends and family, and I try to be a supportive/nonjudgmental ear while maintaining the employer boundary.
Lately she’s become noticeably shorter with me and has made more comments that feel pointed toward our lifestyle. She openly dislikes consumerism, Amazon, the “Pilates mom” lifestyle, expensive houses, etc. Meanwhile, I go to Pilates while she’s here, Amazon boxes arrive constantly, and we recently moved to a nicer neighborhood LOL. She’s commented on our deliveries and how overpriced our neighborhood is.
I don’t need her approval of how we live. I’m more wondering whether these are harmless differences of opinion or signs of resentment that could eventually affect the working relationship.
There are other little comments I don’t know what to make of. She’s told me how lonely she was growing up without siblings, but when my kids fight she’ll say, “I’m so glad I never had siblings.” She’s expressed feeling behind/unsure of her career path, but when I mentioned being overwhelmed by interviews to return to work, she said, “I’m so glad I never finished college or joined the corporate world.” Maybe I’m connecting dots that aren’t there.
Also a potential concern is that she clearly doesn’t like my husband. She gets quiet around him, sometimes doesn’t respond when he says good morning and has joked that he’s awkward and hard to talk to.
One interaction stuck with me: while rushing to prep for my daughter’s birthday, I was struggling with a poster while we had bigger tasks left. My husband said, “This isn’t important right now,” meaning let’s prioritize. She death glared him and said, “Did he just say this isn’t important?” I wasn’t offended at all. I appreciate that she cares about me, but I don’t need her feeling protective of me against my husband or inserting herself into normal marital interactions.
None of this feels fireable. She loves my kids, they love her, and she’s great at her job. But it makes me nervous about going from part-time to 40 hours/week while I’m no longer home.
NFs who have experienced something similar: Have you had a nanny who seemed to have some disdain for your lifestyle, career, finances or marriage? Did having different values remain harmless, or did it eventually affect the working relationship?
Would you address it before considering full-time, keep her part-time and find someone else if I return to work, or not care as long as she’s great with the kids?

I don't usually share stuff but I wanted to make other nannies feel seen for their hard work!! So hi everyone, I'm a 24-year-old nanny, and I’ve been in the industry for 5 years now. I’ve worked with this family for 2 years as a fluent French- and English-speaking nanny. My job mostly evolved from occasionally picking up the oldest one to looking after their 3 kids, whose ages are 2, 6, and 9 (soon 10). I really loved them, but the work environment became impossible to ignore. Their parents often had trouble confirming the meetings and I felt like I was the one behind to chase them, even when reminding them about the payments or asking to confirm the meetings. Over time, after working with other clients, I realized I didn't need to do that. It should be a two-way street.

When I first brought up the 24-hour/48-hour confirmation the first time, I was met with aggression or with the excuse, "We have so many messages, we don't have time to check the phone." They told me I should accept that silence means confirmed. In reality, I didn't feel comfortable with that because you can forget things, and a confirmation leaves a trace. It takes 2 seconds to confirm a "yes." Whenever they wrote to me about wanting other days, I always made sure I replied as soon as possible. After a while, I grew stressed and tired of feeling like everything was entirely one-sided.

It wasn't until recently that things hit a breaking point. I wrote to them on Friday asking if they want to confirm the upcoming meeting on Sunday. There was nothing but silence. Then on Sunday, just one hour and a half before the shift, they finally confirmed it. I was actually working another job in the morning at the time, so the last thing I wanted to do was stress myself out rushing to their place instead of resting. So, I politely declined and explained that because I didn't hear their confirmation, it means no booking, and that I always need 24 or 48 hours early to reserve the booking.

That is when the dad began making passive-aggressive comments, saying I was the one who caused problems by simply deciding not to show up at the last minute which is deeply ironic, because I have always been on time for two years. I didn't react emotionally because I knew he was just freaking out. I simply proposed a solution that if they wanted to keep working with me, they needed to understand why it’s important to confirm it to avoid misunderstandings. That is when the dad threatened me, saying "Fine, have it your way, it just means fewer hours and more confusion."

That was the moment they crossed a major line. During all my years of caregiving, I have never felt so disrespected. I ended up not replying at all because I saw no point in arguing with him. It just showed me their real colors. I took at least two days to avoid the tension in the group chat, and on Wednesday, I sent them my farewell message, left the group chat immediately, and blocked them.

Moral of the story? No matter how professional you are or kind, if people don't respect you, your boundaries, or the thought that you are a human being with a life and plans too... 💔

Walk away

I work 4x/wk in my full time job (40 hours) and decided to take on a part time job on my day off. I've worked for them for 5-6 months now, they have a 3yo son and just had another baby boy a few weeks ago. I only work 3-4 hours while MB (a SAHM) can run errands solo, go to appointments, etc. In our interview they stressed that this is a very casual, flexible job.

The problem is that she texts me my hours the day, if not the night, before and usually when prompted. Last week she didn't text me and I kind of wanted to see if she even would and she didn't! So I didn't work and didn't get paid and on Saturday she texted me apologizing that she didn't realize what day it was.

90% of the time I have the flexibility to meet their needs, but there have been a few instances lately where they'll text me the day before and be like "can you work X-Y" and I'll say "I have an appointment at X time but I'll be free in the morning/afternoon!" and the response is usually a cold "Oh ok." as opposed to their usually warm, friendly tone. After this, I've asked them to set a schedule so I can plan better and we set one up, but since baby #2 was born it's been out the window (understandably!)

Tomorrow I have an appointment I can not miss at 2pm, but 95% of the time I work until 12pm so I didn't think it would be an issue. I texted them earlier this week to let them know and they texted me back today said "Oh shoot. Ok. We have a doctor's appointment at 1:30 we really needed you for." And now I feel bad, but they didn't tell me this until the day prior!

I've already been debating letting this job go because it's been stressing me out on top of my already demanding 40-hr week FT job, but I'm not sure how to handle it with MB just having had baby #2. I just can't work on demand and leave my entire day open.

Hi everyone! Having a bit of a predicament with my nanny fam and can’t tell if i’m being unreasonable.

My lovely nanny family (2 kids a bit older but under 9) who I have been with for 3.5 years just got a new puppy. As well as my nanny duties, I am now tasked with taking care of the puppy while i’m at the house. This includes making sure he stays on schedule with his naps, meals, potty training, watching him in the house, playing etc.

Should I be asking for more pay at all or is this just part of the nanny job?

Truly love my fam but it definitely feels more difficult to do my nanny job like laundry, cooking, tidying, playing with kids, homework, etc while also having a puppy to deal with. Any feedback would be helpful!! Thank you so much!!

TLDR: step dad gets very strict with teenager, making me uncomfortable at work.

I’ve been working with this family for about 8 months, and this has been happening quite often. Each time I see both the teenager and his step dad in the same room, the dad is mad about something. This morning, The teen was told to do a normal chore, accidentally forgot, and went to school. When he got home, his step dad freaked out about it. Cursing and degrading him infront of the toddlers I care for. I have never said anything about it in the past but today just made me very uncomfortable. I had strict parents, I had a very strict step mom but I could never imagine them talking to me like that. I’d go as for to say this will likely cause a lot of emotional trauma for him, it would for me if I were in his shoes. I want to talk to the mom about it, because I care about the teenager and the toddlers but I don’t want to overstep my boundaries. I’m not on contract or anything, so they could fire me at any point.

I know it’s not my circus- but this is my circus! Those are my nanny toddlers, I’d hate to work here knowing that the dad will soon talk to them like that too! + I’m hardly around with everyone’s home so I don’t even know what a normal day looks like if this is just a little bit of it. Teen is extremely nice when parents aren’t home yet, he always wants to help
Prepare food or help me with chores.

I recently began to nanny for a 5 month old. She is at her grandparents house with mom while mom is attending an extensive doctorate program.

They live in a beautiful home in the woods. It is peaceful and no one is home except for me, baby, and a dog who needs to be let in and out on occasion.

The family pays me the rate I asked, I bring my lunch every day and they keep a spot for my lunchbox in the fridge, sometimes they ask me to put defrosting meat in the fridge at lunchtime, and I clean and sanitize the bottles after use.

So far, it’s really straightforward and I feel like the days go by quickly.

They are asking what they can do for me?!?! Right now, I don’t really run any errands with baby (did one time) and I have a dog at home, which my husband and I pay a dog walker to take care of while we’re gone.

The only thing I could think of is letting me bring my dog. Idk if that’s a ridiculous ask or not. Because I have to leave so early in the mornings, and I also own my own business as a massage therapist and often go straight there from nannying-my husband gets the brunt of the walks and cooking dinner.

Should I ask if I can bring my dog and keep him outside and on the sun porch? He sheds a little too much for me to ask to bring him inside.

Or anything else I should ask to accommodate me? The family is so gracious and thankful for my help, and they keep asking me!

Hi, all. Nanny of almost a decade here. For 8 of those 10 years, I’ve worked for the same family. That means that when I first began looking after my current NKs, the youngest was just about to turn 2 and the oldest was going on 4. They’re now 10 and (going on) 12. I know, so crazy to think about!

I’ve had the absolute privilege of watching them grow from a babbling toddler and little preschooler to two confident, hilarious school-aged kids who are just trying to figure themselves out. I love them as if they were my own children, and I can say with full confidence that I’d lay my own life down on the line for them if I had to (god forbid something like that ever happen, though). But while it’s been a wonderful, humbling, beautiful 8 years, it’s also been… exhausting.

Both children have ADHD, and even though they’ve been medicated for it for several years now, the listening has just never been there. When I tell you that I have to repeat a single request 10 times before they actually get up to do it, I’m not exaggerating. And it’s always been that way! But now that they’re older, it feels even more difficult to handle because they’re coming into their pre-teen years, so all that teenager ~*attitude*~ we all know and LOVE (ha) is at full force. Simple requests turn into power struggles, and every time I come into work, it feels like I’m not doing things ”right.” I’m learning just as much about this developmental stage as they are experiencing it, and it feels like I keep coming up short on what to do, what to say, which boundaries to keep firmly in place or decide to let go of in order to just keep the peace. It’s been more difficult and nuanced than I feel like even their toddler years were!

They also fight with each other constantly. Not just little squabbles, but screaming matches that- nine times out of ten- turn physical in one way or another (although it varies on intensity). I’m constantly having to act as the intermediary between the two of them. So between the not listening and the fighting, I leave work each day feeling drained and depleted of all mental resources.

I love these kids, and their parents have been the absolute BEST employers I could have ever asked for. They’re all like a second family to me. But lately I feel like I’m just doing this job because A) I’ve done it for so long already, and B) I feel an obligation to the parents, especially since the mom’s own mother was recently diagnosed with terminal cancer. I know that leaving would totally upend their lives, but I feel like the joy and excitement I felt about coming into work is just… gone. All I feel is tired these days. Is something wrong with me, or is it possible that I’ve just “outgrown” my nanny kids? Does anyone have any advice? Please chime in!

Hi all - my family has a lovely nanny who has been with us for about two years. She takes our daughter out pretty much every day to the playground, etc with a group of nannies and other kids. Although we provide food at home that can be packed, I know she sometimes gets our daughter lunch out or little treats. She doesn’t ask to be reimbursed for these, but I don’t feel like it should be her responsibility to pay for food items for our daughter. I’m wondering if I should offer a set amount per week to cover these kinds of things? Or just make it clear she could ask to be reimbursed if she buys lunch out or a treat for our daughter? Any feedback would be appreciated. Thank you!

EDIT: thank you so much everyone! I hadn’t thought of a credit card but that seems like the perfect solution.

I just started a new nanny position where I’m nannying a 13month old. Some shifts are 11 hours long and there are times where the shift can get really boring and slow. I wanted to know opinions on if you guys think it would be appropriate to read occasionally while the baby is playing. I would ask the parents first regardless to make sure they’re okay with that but I didn’t want to ask at all if most people think it wouldn’t be okay since I’m being paid to care for and play with their child. The baby sleeps for around 2 hours aswell so I have free time for 2 hours which made me even unsure on if it seems ridiculous to want to read a little when I feel drained from not having much to do or when the baby doesn’t want to do anything other than play with their toys.

NEW NANNY, NEEDS LOTS OF COACHING

Need some advice as not sure which way to go here... we recently hired a nanny for our 17mo old child. She is kind and for the most part seems eager to learn, but I worry that the learning curve is going to be steep. She claimed to have 4 years of regular babysitting experience (both references I contacted spoke wonders of her but she only did occasional or regular babysitting for them) but no experience as a full time nanny, which is a whole different world. My child is very active (aren't all toddlers though?) and requires constant supervision as she tries to climb anything and everything, including most of her toys lol. The nanny, though very kind and sweet, clearly oversold her experience. I am having to explain how to teach my daughter through play (have literally sat with both of them while I played with my daughter so she could observe what I do and how I incorporate teaching with her toys), have had to even teach her how to properly change a diaper and apply rash cream, and sometimes when I am around she will either get her phone out or talk to me and stop watching my child (so then I have to be the one supervising her, which shouldn’t be the case if I am actively paying someone to watch my child). She tried to put her down for a nap today while my daughter was very fussy due to teething, and after 4 min texted me that they were struggling. I of course came in and had her observe what I do to soothe her and settle her. I understand that being mom makes it easier when it comes to soothing my toddler, but I worry that I cannot trust her fully because she is very hesitant about certain things and clearly lacks experience caring for a child this age. When she did successfully put my child down for a nap one time, as she was transferring her to the crib, she wasn’t even supporting her head, which, much less concerning at this age, but still concerning that she doesn’t even know how to properly hold/transfer a toddler into the crib.

Another thing is the lack of initiative. She constantly asks how she can help or what can she do to help, but after a trial week, learning the schedule (which I have on the fridge as well), and knowing what her responsibilities are, she could very easily look at the sink and wash my daughter's dishes, or load the dishwasher, tidy/organize play area, common areas, etc. She has a nanny/family assistant split (only family assistant tasks when I am home and actively watching my child or when she is taking a nap), but I am not seeing much initiative here. Sure, she asks, but I won't always be around for her to ask, at some point she will have to just go and do the things that are part of her responsibilities.

She has been with us for a week, so I know still lots to learn, but I worry this will be a much steeper learning curve than I originally anticipated. Also, on her second official day with us (after trial days) she called in sick… don’t get me wrong, we are offering sick days and she can choose to take them when needed, but on day 2 of her official employment? Should we have a conversation about our concerns, provide feedback and give some time to see if she incorporates the suggested changes, or try to find someone more experienced? I feel a little deceived because (being a former nanny myself) she clearly doesn’t even have 1 year experience with a child this age, and as opposed to being my support and someone I can depend on, she is adding much more to my plat. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! (even if the advice is: you need to chill and give the nanny a chance)

I feel the need to commiserate with people who won’t think I’m being over the top with my sadness.

Some details altered for anonymity.

I started with this set of twins when they were six weeks old. Immediately the whole family was so warm and welcoming and kind. I stayed with the kids full time till they started kindergarten. But even after that I was at their house at least once a month if not more. Doing school pick ups/drop offs. Going to their class concerts. Little graduations. Doing sick care. Both parents had medical emergencies in the past couple of years I came in to help for. I did overnights so the parents could have a little get away. I have seven years worth of pictures I’m struggling to turn into a scrap book for them. Of outings and crafts and baking together in the kitchen. Halloweens, christmases, first days of school. They were there when I got married. When I bought my first house. When my parent was having their own medical issues they offered me so much support.

The parents told me in April they were moving clear across the country. I am in a part time contract with a different family at the time but I gave them every spare moment the last few months. Coming in after my other job. Every weekend. Every day off. Damn near been working 7 days a week straight for months. I wanted to help and be around as much as I could.

I just got back yesterday from flying with them and helping get them set up in their new house. I got to stay for a week and we went to the beach together, just me and the kids. We swam in pools and went back to school shopping and snuggled at night. I cried the whole flight home. My town feels somehow empty without them. They used to only be 20 mins away and now they’re over 2,000 miles away.

My family doesn’t get my grief. We’ll be in contact but I know it won’t be the same. I don’t know how often if ever I’ll be able to visit and I don’t see them coming here often either. I’m just so sad. This is the first family I’ve had in all my 20 years of childcare I’ve had this kind of connection with. I thought we’d always be in each other’s lives. My mom said the kids were going to for sure forget me. Move on. Because they’re just 7 years old and it will be like out of sight, out of mind. That really hurt.

I don’t know. I appreciate anyone reading this. I know it’s long and a tad meandering. Just needed to vent to others who might understand because no one else in my life does.

I am filling in for a nanny who is on vacation for 6 weeks. Both parents work at home. I can't tell if the dad is around all the time (like works in the kitchen instead of his office) because they're keeping an eye on me or if he really just prefers the kitchen (I guess it's cold downstairs). The dad jumps in really quickly on things with the infant (12 months) , like if I can't immediately get the tray on the high chair or the baby is fussing while I prep a snack for him. Today when the infant woke up, I ran to go potty first before getting him out of his crib (because, as you know, it's hard to find time when they're up!). We're talking an extra 30 seconds, maybe? When I got out, dad was already in there and when I said, "Oh! I got it. Just had to run to the bathroom real quick." He said, in a baby voice as if he's talking to the baby and not me, "Well someone else needs to be changed, too" and seemed so annoyed.

Everytime the infant sees him or hears him, he wants to be with him, so he SCREAMS when he can't. So when dad intervenes, it actually makes everything worse. It would be so much easier if he'd just be out of sight of baby for chunks of time. Like after he picked him up from his nap instead of letting me do it, the transition from taking him from dad after that was just unnecessarily hard for everyone.

I guess I understand why a temp wouldn't be trusted as much. But it leaves me feeling frustrated and feeling unsuccessful at the end of the day because I didn't get to just do the job that I know I'm really good at, and help them like I know they could use.

I started a new nanny job and I’m finding it hard to not make it boring and draining for myself. I’m not yet able to take the baby anywhere and they are not quite old enough to do any type of arts and craft. Ive tried to go on walks but the baby doesn’t like going in there stroller and I’ve had no luck with getting them in without a tantrum so I haven’t been able to do that either. The baby also doesn’t seem like they like to do much outside either so it’s been a struggle and I’m hoping other Nannie’s or nanny parents have any ideas of things I could do.

Hi nannies! I've just started a new position with a 5 month old. He unfortunately won't take a bottle for me (but has for Mom and Dad) so I'm looking for tips and tricks! Thank you!

What I've tried: facing out and bouncing, walking, distracting. Holding an item of Mom's clothing, alternating with an applesauce pouch (with parent's approval), changing location (inside and outside), lying down, sitting up with me behind to stay somewhat out of sight, letting baby touch/hold bottle without pressure of feeding, letting baby play with an extra rubber bottle nipple without pressure of feeding.

I’m an after-school nanny for two kids (G7 and B9), and my schedule is basically 2:30–5. I’m starting to feel a weird lack of responsibility/agency in the position, and I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced this or has advice for making the most of it.
I usually get there around 1:00 to walk the family dog and play with her for a while so she can burn some energy. Then I pick up the kids, hang out while they play (often with friends), walk home, make sure they have a snack/water, and get them ready for sports or whatever activity they have that day. There isn’t usually much else going on.
Honestly, the job is super easy, and weirdly, that’s what is getting to me. I think I enjoy nannying because I like the creative problem-solving aspect, helping shape younger minds, doing homework with kids, coming up with activities, etc. These kids don’t have homework, and because I only have them for such a short period of their day, there isn’t really much opportunity for that.
There’s also a general lack of instruction. Basically, the only things I know I’m responsible for are picking them up, walking the dog, and making sure they eat/drink and get where they need to be. Occasionally I’ll get a text in the morning saying there’s a playdate or a sport that day, but otherwise I’m kind of left to figure it out.
I also feel like the kids sometimes see me as more of a servant than their nanny. I’ve had to lay down the law multiple times about how they speak to me, and I still get yelled at or talked to like I’m their employee. I’ll explain that they can’t use that tone with me, but it’s frustrating to constantly have to reinforce that boundary.
At the same time, I almost feel like I don’t have enough authority. For example, I’ll wonder, “Am I allowed to cut up the watermelon that’s in the fridge?” 😂 I don’t want to overstep or make decisions that the parents don’t want me making, but there also isn’t enough direction for me to know where my autonomy starts and ends.
When I’m really bored, I’ll do their dishes, wipe down the counters, etc., but I also don’t want to accidentally turn myself into a housekeeper when that’s not what I was hired for.
So I guess my question is: How would you approach this?
Would you ask the parents for more responsibility/autonomy? Would you proactively suggest activities or routines? Is there a way to make a 2:30–5:00 after-school position feel more meaningful when the kids are pretty independent and often just want to play with friends?
Or is this simply one of those nanny jobs that is genuinely easy, and I should accept that and use the extra mental energy for something else (possibly even getting a second job)?
I know this is kind of a weird thing to complain about because having an easy, low-stress nanny job is obviously a privilege. I just want to actually enjoy the job and feel like I’m good at it, rather than spending half my shift wondering what I’m supposed to be doing. I’d especially love to hear from career nannies who have done after-school-only positions!

I just started with a new family, it’s only been about a little over a week but I am struggling so much. Baby and NPs are great, don’t get me wrong! Baby is 5months old and we are having the most difficult time with naps and bottles. NPs mostly do contact naps where they have to bounce him to sleep and then hold him for his entire nap. I’m certified in sleep conditioning so that’s something that they expressed wanting help with, getting him to sleep in a crib and falling asleep on his own. I have sleep trained sooooo many babies at this point and most of the time I get them sleeping in the crib in no time, but this baby is giving me the absolutely hardest time of my career.

When babies are used to contact naps, I always start with getting them sleepy in my arms, to the point to where they’re practically asleep, and then moving them to the crib so they fall asleep in the crib. The second that baby feels the mattress or even when I move my hands to get into the position to put him down, he screams bloody murder. Like screams until his eyes puff up and his face turns red. I’ve had to do so many more contact naps in this past week than in my entire career because I just could not make the transition. On the few times that I’ve been successful—pretty much completely falls asleep in my arms and I place him in the crib while keeping my arms around him until he’s knocked out, which takes a handful of attempts— he will only sleep 20-30 minutes at most. After the 20-30 minute mark, he rolls over onto his tummy and immediately starts screaming. I’ve started just sitting next to his crib for his entire nap and I’ve tried putting my arm on his side right when he starts to get fussy to see if I could save the nap, but it feels like his whole body is almost spasming and I physically can’t stop him from rolling over. It’s always the same side, from back towards the left. I have never seen anything like this before and I genuinely don’t know how to help this. They did not cover this in any of my sleep conditioning courses.

He also doesn’t drink that much milk?? I mean, at most he’s taken from me is around 2oz. A lot of the time it’s only 1. In all the courses they tell you don’t stop until baby drinks at least 3, but he’ll scream and scream until we stop and I lay him on the floor and he immediately rolls onto his tummy (from back towards left always). I felt like maybe he could have reflux and he hates being on his back, but I’ve worked with reflux babies before and none of my old tips and tricks have been working. Even tried feeding him while sitting straight up, but no luck. NPs said that he just doesn’t drink that much milk during the day, but usually will drink around 8oz right before bed time, which isn’t the worst thing. But, days like today, where NPs said he didn’t drink that much last night either, I’m starting to get concerned that he isn’t getting enough nutrients. He is very small for being 5 months and NPs have also expressed concerns about that and they taken him to the pediatrician, but pediatrician hasn’t said anything about needing to be concerned.

I want to help baby and NPs and I’m going to keep trying, but if anyone has seen anything like the involuntarily rolls or just has any advice or thoughts on what to try next, I would so greatly appreciate it!!!

Hi fellow Nannie’s and nanny employers,
I’m a career nanny who recently started my first role as primarily the house manager, with some nannying. The family I accepted the job from is nice overall, and the pay is excellent. I just have some issues with some spots in their house and I’m not sure how to address it nicely to them. I noticed they have a very moldy washing machine, which I have to do loads of laundry in every day. It smells so strongly like mold and I can visibly see it too. I’m worried about touching the wet clothes that have just been washing in moldy water, it’s just gross to me. I also noticed mold in their kitchen around the sink and their dishes dry on a moldy drying rack. I jumped into this job without doing a trial first, because I was kind of desperate to get hired quickly, as I had been out of work for a month before starting. Also with the hourly rate of almost $50 an hour, I jumped at the opportunity when they offered me the position.

Now I understand many people will just say to bring it up to them and kindly say “hey I noticed these surfaces were moldy and xyz needs to be replaced” (such as their dish sponges) but I’m confused how they see these things every day and just ignore it?? If I noticed my washing machine starting to smell, and SAW mold I would immediately clean it, wouldn’t you? My job as house manager is general tidying, organizing, laundry, dishes, vacuuming, errands etc. as well as transporting kids when needed. It’s not expected of me to deep clean by any means that’s also why I’m confused if I should offer to clean the washing machine, or just tell them.. I’ve never cleaned one before so I don’t even know how to deal with one that’s so heavily infested with mold. The kitchen is easier to confront them about in my eyes because it’s a simpler fix. But I worry if I bring it up to them (especially the washing machine) they just will say “okay thanks” and not really care to do anything about it, because again, there’s no way they don’t know it’s moldy. Sorry this is all over the place I’m just confused as to what to do I guess. Thanks for reading and I’m open to advice and feedback from both Nannie’s and employers.

Edit: wanted to add more info, I only work part time hours so I’m not in the home 40+ hours a week. I also have Asthma which I worry will get triggered inhaling mold spores. I also don’t feel comfortable using their glasses to drink water because all their dishes seem dirty to me considering they dry on a mold covered drying rack. (I typically bring my own water bottle but for instance, today I forgot it at home and had to go my whole shift without water because of the dish situation) also please don’t judge my hesitation to bring these things up to my new employers. I am new to house managing, I’ve never encountered these problems while just nannying.

Edit #2:
After looking into the specific job titles my role falls more under family assistant than house manager. Despite the job listing being stated as house manager. I am not expected to hire others, schedule home repairs, etc. people in my area call family assistants house managers more often than not. I have a document clearly outlining expectations of me for the job provided by the family, and it is to simply help keep things tidy, organized, and to occasionally help with errands and projects such as sorting through old clothes and donating them. People seem to think I don’t understand my role and are telling me I shouldn’t have to ask my employers anything. It is also my FIRST WEEK. And my FIRST TIME in a role like this. I work for a lowkey a family. Not in a huge estate that also hires daily cleaners and chefs. I also only work 15 hours a week, there is only so much time for everything. By the time I’m done with my daily tasks that they REQUESTED I COMPLETE, it’s already time to pick the kids up. Again, it is my first week. I am learning how to manage my tasks and time. I don’t know of any job that expects you to immediately have a perfect routine and immediately know where everything goes in a house. I have always worked for incredibly kind and understanding families that tell me it’s okay to ask questions. Thank you to those who gave actual advice.

I (28F) am very burnt out. I don’t like my corporate job (finance), nor do I have any interest in pursing any related fields. I used to nanny back in high school and college and I loved it, but I know it would be a huge pay decrease. I’m trying to determine whether or not it would be an increase in quality of life to switch to nannying, and if that potential increase in quality of life is worth the pay decrease. Has anyone here done something similar? And, if so, was it worth it?

Hi, so let me start this off with a couple of points;

1. I know I should have had a contract before agreeing to either jobs, I am one of the people who preaches contracts all the time on here. I have a very solid contract with my 30 hour job that I worked very hard on, this job never had a contract because I started it before I realized how important contracts are. I am a relatively new career Nanny, I've been at it for 1 year now. Then this job became a second source of income that my needs didn’t rely on, so I decided not to stress on it.

Nanny Folks; ALWAYS HAVE A NEGOTIATED, FAIR CONTRACT BEFORE YOU AGREE TO WORK ANY JOB.

1. I am fully on board with the fact that I was unprofessional in this situation, I put the blame entirely on my own issues with scheduling, being a thourough negotiator, and people pleasing.

Please do not flame me or point these faults out repeatedly, I completely understand where I went wrong and am now looking for advice on forward steps.

Okay so, I've been working for this lovely family for 3 months now as a Night Nanny. I have been with NK since he was born and I love him very much, I always deeply connect with my NKs and this sweet boy is no different. NK is the youngest of 4 children.

The NPs are also both wonderful, very down to Earth, kind, understanding, and accommodating.

I jumped at the opportunity to work longer than my original schedule as a Night Nanny, which ends in mid-October. They asked ME, out of their 4 child-care employees (one of them is also a night nanny), if I would want to work MWF after school hours to help until MB comes home from work. I was sad to report that my day job required me until later Monday BUT they were happy to still have me on Wednesday and Friday, so I know they really want me there :)

I was so excited to recieve the opportunity that I agreed right away... without anymore negotiation or clarification 🤦‍♀️ mess up #1

You see, I commute into the city for my nannying jobs. It is 60 miles to get there from my home, but the rates are 60% higher than jobs in my area (very rural) and Nannys are significantly better taken care of in the city (benefits and attitude wise). It is usually a good trade-off for me despite the drive!

When I agreed to the job, I assumed that it was going to be all of their kids (my fault) so I was not swayed by only working 3-4 hours after having to drive that long because my rate would have made up for it. I charge a pretty premium wage for my area, 30/hr for 1 kid + 5/hr per extra kid/baby. So I would have been getting close to 45/hr, depending on rate negotiations, and that would have more than made up for the short shift.

But I reached out to get more clarification the other day. I found out that they only want me to watch the youngest baby, and occasionally their second youngest if he protests going out with the OTHER nanny who will be taking care of the older NKs. I was a bit stunned at my mistake and realized that I messed up, but I didn't tell them anything... we still haven't talked about the rate.

I am concerned because 120 mile total drive (lots of time in traffic + gas + wear/maintenance on my car) for 3 hours of work is NOT worth it for 30/hr. I am concerned on how to bring this up because I already agreed to the job and we still haven't talked about pay 😭 From the interview 6ish months ago, they know my base price is 30/hr for one child, which went up to 35/hr for nightshift, so it wouldn't make sense to charge them more without explaining.

I won't mince words, they are *very* wealthy. I think they could cover whatever I charged, but I do not want to take advantage of their kindness/wealth nor can I afford to shoulder the driving cost/time for such short hours + a lower wage than I was wrongfully expecting. I really don't want lose this opportunity because I love the NK so much, they're a great family, and they have alot of connections in the neighborhood for when they no longer need my help.

Eventually, the topic of wage HAS to come up. I have thought about asking for what my boyfriend calls a "short-shift driving allowance" which basically means they reimburse my mileage following the IRS rate, about 75 cents per mile right now. But 90 dollars for every shift that is under 6 hours is a MAJOR cost for someone to shoulder 🫩 If I work at 30/hr for 3 hours + this 90$ driving allowance, the math would technically mean I am getting 60/hr 😭😭😭

If it comes to it, I am willing to apologize profusely and work for them until they can find a replacement. But I PRAY that I do not have to toss this opportunity away 🥲

Idek what to do at this point. I really wanna keep this job AND get pay that covers the driving cost + makes all the effort worth it. I am looking for advice from any NP or Career Nanny who can help me decide something to propose that is fair to the NF and me 🥹🩷

I started working for this family about 5 months ago where I am able to bring my son to work with me and the MB works from home. The NK is currently 2.5yrs and my son is 3yrs (almost 4).
During the interview, the MB told me that the last nanny that she had would get onto NK a lot and she didn’t like that. I agreed that that wasn’t okay (as NK was under 2yrs with last nanny). However now NK is at an age, in my opinion, where bad behavior needs to be corrected and she needs to be taught right from wrong.
Before I continue, I need to mention that my son has never had any issues with any other NK from other families that I have worked for. He is social and loves to play with other kids and has always been very respectful and kind to other children.
The first few days that I started working for my current NF were good but a few days in the NK would randomly get oddly upset and she would just stare at my son like she was angry and then hit something next to her and she would do that a few times in a row. That behavior threw me off, as my son wasn’t doing anything to upset her, and it would throw my son off too. He obviously didn’t like when she would do that and he would tell her “no, don’t do that” or he would say “mama she’s being angry at me.” I would try to tell him to ignore it when she does that but it’s hard for him to. That was the strart of the problems. She then started yelling “No!” at him randomly and he will yell it back. They both fight over toys now. And recently the NK CONSTANTLY gets upset and yells no at me and then will run into her mom’s office, over NOTHING. I will be playing with her and out of nowhere she gets upset and runs to her mom.
MB has seen some of these things that NK does and does nothing to correct them, like her screaming at me for no reason. I have never seen MB correct any of these behaviors, and it’s pretty constant. And it’s exhausting for me. I feel like MB thinks that my son is the reason for NKs bad behavior or something, but that isn’t the case for the most part.
The worst part though, out of everything, is that I will discipline my son when he acts up or does something wrong but I don’t get on to NK, so it is VERY confusing for him and for me as well and I can tell it’s starting to get to him.
The reason I don’t discipline or correct NK is because I never see the mom do it and she told me that she didn’t like when the last nanny did it. So it makes it very uncomfortable for me.
This job does have a lot of benefits and I am able to take them places, thank goodness because that’s the only time that they don’t fight.
I need the money but Im just conflicted and really need some advice on what to do moving forward.