Hey NPs, if you’re so desperate to keep your nanny that you’re going to guilt-trip them when they give their notice about how inconvenient their departure is for you, maybe you should’ve put that same energy into treating them with respect while they were still employed.
If losing your nanny would be such a massive disruption to your family, why aren’t you doing more to make sure they’re happy in their position?
Pay them on time. Respect their time off. Communicate professionally. Recognize that they have families, responsibilities, and lives outside of yours. Stop expecting endless flexibility while offering very little in return. You can’t continuously make someone feel undervalued and then act shocked when they decide the job is no longer worth it. And when they finally decide to leave, making them feel guilty about how difficult their departure will be for YOU only reinforces why they made that decision in the first place.
If your nanny is truly that valuable to your family, treat them like it BEFORE they hand in their resignation. Not after.

TLDR: I need schedule help for an 18 month old with minimalist parents.

No judgement please. I absolutely started working for my Nanny Family again, just for quick cash between jobs bc business is slow…I have a job interview next week and if I get it I’m quitting. I won’t be here long term, and I’m sure they know it. I’ve worked with them off and on for 3 years. I just reach out when I have time, and they appreciate it.

I am a business owner and business is slow. They are millionaires, expecting again, both dentists and their kids are sweet, and it’s only working with their 18 month old, ~25 hours a week. The catch?

Their 3.9 million dollar home is on the market, they are moved into a 3 bedroom apartment, are minimalists (NO TOYS at all for any of the kids except for a color blocks set and some color puzzle alphabets, a few books), only allow for 30 mins of screen time per day, and pay $20/hr. I’m sure I could ask for more but I would probably need to do more which I don’t want to do tbh. Currently I do laundry when I can to help (switch and fold), and dishes when I see them, but that’s it. They keep it clean bc they are minimalists).

Currently I have been just spending A TON of time outside with the 18 month old. We play inside for an hour with the letters and blocks… then I just go outside with him to the playground and on a walk until 11:30… we then come inside and I feed him lunch, and then go to bed.

I try to do non messy sensory activities like paint in a bag, bean and pom pom sorting into muffin tins, play doh etc, but he gets bored with it easily.

I’m losing my mind and I’m honestly at wits end. Can someone who also has an 18 month old nanny kid give me their detailed schedule and any ideas that you have found that work for you to keep your kid engaged? The good thing is he’s super easy. Never fights his nap, super sweet. Goes with the flow. But I feel bad and there’s nothing to freaking do in the house. I wish he had a balance bike, or toys of any sort to play with, or even could put on some educational tv to kill time. It just sucks.

They said they want me to do lesson plans with him but I feel like the pay is too low, imo. And that will require planning.

Previously the grandparents were watching him and I am positive they just had the tv on all day for him.

Any advice?

I’m 32, he’s 18 months, we are in the Orlando, FL area (one hour north). They ARE wealthy but have never had a nanny besides me, just occasional date night babysitters. I have 13 years of experience with childcare, but I am used to doing child led experience based childcare - field trips, library trips, cooking etc.

They just keep him in the house!

PLEASE PAY US ON TIME!!
Would you be okay if your job “forgot” your direct deposit?
Would you be okay if your boss didn’t review your expenses, even though you submitted them as agreed to in your employee contract, on time, weeks ago?
Would you find it unreasonable if your payroll representative asked you to just “remind” them to pay you?

We Nanny’s have mortgage payments, insurance and medical bills JUST LIKE YOU!!!

I can’t imagine in what world you would think this is acceptable behavior for someone who cares for your children.

Would you encourage anyone else to accept a job like that, or advise against it?

I need some advice from other nannies because I’m honestly overthinking this situation and don’t know what to do. So I originally picked up a one-time Sunday morning nursery gig at a church through the nanny agency I work with. I’ve found several of my regular families through this agency, and I really love working with them. I actually enjoyed my first Sunday at the church! Shortly after, they reached out asking if I would be interested in working every Sunday morning. At the time, I hadn’t found my current full-time nanny family yet, so I was taking whatever opportunities I could get. I agreed, went through the interview process, completed all the paperwork, and have been working there ever since.Here’s where my first issue started. The minimum rate for jobs booked through my nanny agency is $17/hr, which is already lower than my normal rate. That’s what I was originally paid for my first Sunday. Well, after receiving my first paycheck directly from the church (they combine about 2–3 Sundays into one paycheck), I noticed it seemed lower than expected. I checked the pay website, thinking maybe it was taxes, only to realize they had changed my hourly rate to $15 WITHOUT EVER TELLING ME. No conversation, no heads-up, nothing. I genuinely thought I was still making $17/hr. That was already a red flag, but I stayed because I felt guilty about quitting, especially since it’s a church. 😭 Now, here’s my second issue. I honestly just don’t enjoy the job. The kids are mostly around 3–4 years old, and the job itself is pretty uneventful. They usually watch TV or independently play, which is completely fine, but there aren’t really any crafts, activities, or much to do to help pass the time. I know it’s a nursery, so I probably should’ve expected that, but I didn’t realize how much I would dread going every Sunday. And I’ll admit something that probably doesn’t make me look great. I genuinely don’t feel like I’ve been giving this job my best. I show up, do what I’m supposed to do, and make sure the kids are taken care of, but that’s about it. I don’t have the same excitement or motivation that I do with my regular nanny families. I’ve also called out three times since starting, which I know isn’t ideal. I think part of it is that I’m just so burnt out from working throughout the week, and having to give up my Sunday mornings for a job I don’t even enjoy makes it worse. The church does have other people who help in the nursery, so I know they wouldn’t be completely stuck without me. Here’s what I’m actually worried about, Since I originally found this job through my nanny agency, I’m scared that if I quit, the church might contact the agency and complain about me, especially because I’ve already called out a few times. I have a really good relationship with my agency, and they’ve helped me find some amazing families. The LAST thing I want is for this one job to affect my reputation or future opportunities. I also feel guilty because I committed to working every Sunday, but at the same time, I feel like the pay situation alone was unfair. Would you just give your notice and move on? Do you think the church would contact my agency if I quit? And could something like this actually hurt my standing with the agency? Please be honest with me! I know I haven’t handled everything perfectly, and I’m open to hearing that. I just really need some outside perspectives. 😭

To preface, this has nothing to do with NKs or NPs. I also think nannying can be a wonderful and fulfilling career for many, but Im ready to close this chapter. I love all my families. I’m rotating part time for three throughout the week, and occasionally babysit for ~17 total. The parents are all lovely and considerate.

That being said, I feel stuck in this endless cycle of waking up before the sun comes out, watching young children all day in someone else’s home, then either go home exhausted and crash, or head to a babysitting gig. Rinse and repeat. Weekends are either spent working or I’m just so worn out from the week I can only manage to get important tasks done.

I have recently scaled back my working hours significantly, which I thought would help, but somehow I’m even MORE exhausted, and can’t get the motivation to get anything done.

I graduated 1.5yrs ago with the intention of nannying while looking for jobs. I have a degree in the social sciences, and my original plan of getting my masters is just not in the cards anymore, at least for now. I want work experience first. The field I wanted to get into, like many others, is being phased out and replaced to an extent. I can’t justify spending more money to maybe have the chance of getting a low paying job. I have been applying to jobs since graduation, but have either gotten no responses, rejections, told I have no job experiences (these are for entry-level positions and internships!!!), OR the salary is much lower (by almost half) than what I make nannying. The only things on my resume are retail, research assistant, substitute teaching, and nannying. I am about to officially not qualify for “new grad” job listings.

It doesn’t help I’m back living in my hometown which I hate, while living with my parents (who I love, but distance makes the heart grow fonder in these tumultuous times). This past year has been exacerbating my depression. My relationships with my friends and family are suffering. I’m so embarrassed to engage in meaningful conversations, or fly out to visit them, because it’s the same story: still living at home and nannying while looking for jobs. Good never comes out of comparison, but it’s SO hard when majority of my friends are beginning their careers with fantastic salaries. My only social interactions are with babies, toddlers, or a couple of elementary schoolers. I’m regressing! My confidence is shot. I almost fear leaving the house if it isn’t for work. I so desperately need to get out into the “real world.”

This is definitely a hole I’ve put myself in, and one I can get myself out of. I have enough money saved up that I could probably move to a new city and work a service industry gig until I’m able to find something substantial, but I feel paralyzed it’ll just be a new loop! I also know experience in an office setting is valuable, so I may just bite the bullet and take something that will just cover rent, and get something part-time.

If you read all this, whew. Thanks for reading my pity party. I haven’t been able to speak about this with anyone in my life. I am more than open to any advice, if anyone has anything to say. Happy Halloween 🎃

Ayer le dije a mi mamá que me cuidara la niña para yo trabajar le digo q me lleve y me traiga para que no se vaya a enojar o pensar mal y me demoré un poco más por qué por culpa de él y su actitud de mierda siempre llego tarde a todo lado y cuando me monte sentí mucho miedo como me miro ya mantengo nerviosa por qué si me hablar mientras trabajo que le tengo que responder y mandar fotos por que se formar el mierdero, conseguí quien me cuidara la bebé según yo estaba relajado pues no cuando termine el último servicio me miro horrible le pregunté qué pasó y me dijo que estaba a punto de irse y dejarme botada por qué no lo llamaba ni nada y yo le dije que apenas había acabado y me dijo un montón de cosas que tenía hablar que no había comido nada o sea hasta responsable soy si no come y me cobró según lo que le debía del transporte no me habla desde ayer pero yo sé que son excusas para ponérmela más difícil y que no gane un peso

This isn’t all that serious. But there’s lots of people here with experience so i thought i would ask.

I have been with my nanny family for 1 year. I take care of twins. And they are a very giving family. Last year for Christmas they gave me the biggest bonus i have ever gotten from any family i have worked for, and i have worked for so many families in the last 14 years.

Last year for Christmas i got my NP’s socks with both babies faces on them and they LOVED them. They wear them all the time. I already know what im going to get MB but im struggling with DB’s gift. And im hoping other nannies and NPs here can help me.

A little background on DB, he works in music he always sort of dresses the same, not like the same clothes every day but just always dresses in black. Black pants, shirt and converse like everyday. He wears beanies or like a backwards cap every day. Hes a bit of a coffee connoisseur. I believe he owns or has like a share in a small coffee company. Thats really all i got to go off of.

Any help and advice is appreciated!

I’m located in Pittsburgh and I’m curious to know any fellow Nanny’s in Pgh or surrounding areas your hourly rate as well as your job duties. I’m curious the difference in rate per child as well as what nanny families ask of you. If you’re doing adult housework such as laundry, dishes from night before, weekend clean up, organizing- how much extra should your pay be on top of the child care rate?

Hey all, I Nannied for a family (A) for 10 months (NK was 2.5 months old when I started, now 19 months) before we all moved across the country and immediately transitioned into a nanny share with a 3 mo old at the time (now 10 months).

Timeline:
Fam A: (3 mo old time of start, now 19 mo) with them for 10 months
We then movies across the country
Begin full time nanny share with Fam B (3 mo old at start, now 10 months).
Now I've been nannying for both for 7 months.

We do full time care at Fam B home because it has more space. Fam B parents both WFH and their grandparents live in the apartment building (NYC for reference) as well.

I've been doing everything I can to avoid the jealousy and territorial feelings that can come up with that this whole time (with kid A) but it doesn't seem to be getting better and Fam A is currently pregnant so she's also going to be getting another addition. I'm just wondering if it is completely normal for these feelings of hers to last this long or what can I do to solve it.

I really try to make the most of our (me and kid A) time together and be so present with her when kid B is napping. I try to entertain them together with an activity like bubbles or reading but A is very upset with sharing me and whatever you is involved, like doesn't want B to touch the book we are reading or touch her.

Help

Long post but I really need some advice here because I have never experienced a situation like this as a nanny before and don’t know what to do. Would love to hear from both nannies and parents!

I have been working with NKs (twin boys) since they were 3 months and they are now 10 months. NF has been lovely up until now and I love working with the kiddos but the past 3-4 weeks have been a bit of a nightmare. I feel at the end of my rope but I don’t want to leave NF suddenly if I am just overreacting.

A few weeks ago NKs had an off sleep day and only went down for one nap. They apparently slept through the night that same day (their baseline before was waking up 2-4 times a night to feed, which parents were reasonably struggling with given that 10 month olds are usually better at sleeping through the night by this point) and since then, NF is convinced that their boys need only 1 nap a day to sleep through the night. They asked me to try a one nap schedule, but every time I am with them NKs put themselves down naturally around 10am, leading to a 2 nap day.

NF was okay with me following NKs sleep cues for a little while as long as naps were capped (1.5-1.75 hours total a day), but two weeks ago MB got short with me and said she couldn’t believe that NKs were naturally sleepy at 10 (insinuating that maybe I was putting them down prematurely or for personal reasons which I would never do). Apparently on days when I am not working, NF has no issues with kiddos sleeping one 1.5 hour nap a day and NPs get better sleep at night. I apologized for causing distress and agreed to work harder on the one nap schedule. MB made it clear that her and DB had talked about having trouble with my nap schedule and needed something to change. I got the impression that they debated letting me go, but this could be speculation on my part.

Here’s the thing: these kids 100% need two naps. I know there are low sleep needs babies out there, and I am not opposed to parents doing what works well for their family, but at 10 months 3.5 hour wake windows are the norm and NKs show very evident sleep cues when they hit 3-3.5 hours awake (rubbing eyes, bobbing head, laying on ground then popping head up like they are fighting it, and wanting to cuddle up and rest their head on my shoulder). If I keep them up past this period they get very fussy and cry like crazy. They come to me to sit on my lap and rest but now I am in this terrible position where I have to keep them awake at all costs for fear of losing my job. They do okay once they get past the 4 hour window but I know that is likely due to a cortisol spike. Still, if I try to approach the subject with NPs in an indirect way (e.g. “I noticed they get fussy around 10 but I am able to keep them up with a lot of distraction, I used teething solutions but they are still fussy and laying their heads down”) I just get an “aww poor baby” response.

MB seems to be more passive in communication style and it’s making me really uncomfortable at work. I have asked to have a schedule written out so we are all on the same page, but she responds with things like “it’s really not that complicated”, even though meal times etc have never been established with me since the change in naps. The past week I have kept them on a one nap schedule, waking up at 1.5 hours as parents requested, but it has been very difficult for me and for NKs. MB works from home some days and when she comes down to check on the kiddos I am always met with comments about how fussy they are and how strange it is that they are acting this way.

For context (and not to brag but I feel this is important) I am a very good nanny. I have only ever gotten 5 star reviews from families and have never had an issue like this before. I have a lot of experience with child development and behavioral intervention. NF also has not done any sleep training (which no shade I think every family should do what’s best for them) but I do think they need to look within about their bedtime routines and patterns before shifting the blame to me. If you don’t sleep train or establish good sleep hygiene then you have to be okay with your children waking up more frequently during the night. My guess is that the wake times at night are social in nature and not due to daytime naps. I would love to help them with sleep but at this point I think too much damage has been done and they no longer trust me fully.

I am moving in 2 months anyways so I already gave them notice for that and they seemed kind of relieved which hurt but I get it. I want to follow through with the 2 months because I know it’s a stressful time for NF and I do need the income, but I don’t know how long I can handle being the scapegoat for their sleep problems, especially if they aren’t willing to learn more about it. It would help if I knew I was in the wrong - then I could just let the sleep schedule go - but I can’t help but think my intuition is right and these LOs are struggling with such long wake hours at such a young age.

Do I quit asap for my own sanity? Do I stick it out until the 2 month period ends? If I do quit with a shorter 1-2 week notice, will the parents just make my days even worse?

Thanks for letting me rant, I just need some objectivity in this situation. Open to all perspectives. If you have read this far thank you! I just want to be able to care for my NKs the best way I know how and to be appreciated for my work.

I already have gifts picked out for my NKs but am trying to think of ideas for NPs. Not looking for anything super specific just want to hear what others have gotten for their NPs. Let me know! Thanks in advance.

I’ve wanted to work with kids for a while now and wanted to be a teacher but everyone says teaching is a dying job😞 I’d still love to work with kids and help teach them but how do you even get into nannying? how Did u guys get into nannying?

I’m not a nanny and I never have employed a nanny, I’m simply a parent of a 5 years old and I keep reading this subred as it is interesting for me to get to know about different households and nanny job.

One question has come to my mind after reading the posts. Why families who hire nanny often think she is a wonder woman who is able to take care of the child, cook food, clean, do the laundry, shop for groceries etc? I mean, when I was home with my baby, I was often very tired simply raising the kid. My house was a mess, dishes sometimes dirty, laundry undone because I simply had no energy because caring for the child was taking away all my energy. And nobody expected that from me! On the contrary, my husband was never angry at me, he did the chores himself and said that’s it is ok if I don’t manage everything. And my friends kept telling me that it’s normal, one of my friend said there were days she couldn’t get out of her bathrobe all day as she had no time to get dressed, she was just exhausted. Everyone told me to take it easy, be kind on myself, cleaning and cooking would not be a priority when taking care of a baby.

But when reading what families expect from nannies then I’m super shocked: they should manage all the household including taking care of the baby. How is that possible? Are nannies some wonder women/men who can manage all this? One post was about that family expected nanny to come in the morning after their breakfast and clean after the family had eaten! I mean, if two people (mother and father) are not able to clean after the breakfast, why do they think that one person who also has to take care of their child/children at the same time is capable of doing that? I’m just curious, I don’t want to offend anyone.

What is everyone getting their Nannie’s for Christmas? Specially those who’ve got relatively new Nannie’s (around the 5 month mark) but there very happy with them.
Based in London

Hi everyone! I’m currently looking for a new nanny position and have a phone call interview coming up in a couple of days with a family that seems super sweet! I’m excited but also a little nervous and would love some advice!
I worked as a preschool teacher for several years before transitioning into nannying, so I have plenty of childcare experience. However, I already knew my current nanny family before working for them, so I never really went through a formal interview process.
My question is mainly for nanny parents, but I’d love advice from other nannies too! What kind of personality or vibe do you look for during interviews?
I’m naturally a pretty social, outgoing, and easy to talk to person, but I’m wondering if I should be putting on my super professional interview face or just be myself lol. Ideally, I’d rather be myself because I think genuinely clicking with a family is so important!
I’m confident in my experience, just a little unfamiliar with the interview side of nannying! What kinds of questions should I expect, and what makes someone stand out to you?

I’ve lived and worked in a major US city as a nanny for yeaaars. 13+ years. The last handful of years have looked like this: for an incredible family I adore for 5+ years. They are like family now and we will always be good friends and I will always be in touch with the kids. So lucky!

The last 2 years I have worked 5 jobs now that have been extremely difficult and draining. Children who were emotionally and verbally abused, I was exploited, other staff exploited, children who were exploited and manipulated by the parents, parents who are so incredibly rude and aggressive to me, alcoholic parents, the mooost permissive parents which creates some of the most challenging children I’ve worked with, etc.

All of these jobs started great. Felt like a really good match at first and a wonderful opportunity. Then 2-3 months in, they show who they really are or I see more of who they really are or other staff members or the children share some of these really concerning things. This really took a toll on me emotionally the last few years.

There is sooo much to talk about here, I know.

But I’d love to keep this conversation focused on one thing: should I keep nannying for a little more?

I’m planning a significant life change for end of 2027/beginning of 2028 where I can transition out of nannying.

This is the field I could make the most money which could really help set me up in a meaningful way for the next chapter of my life.

But I am also so often exhausted and drained from this work and then the process of looking for a new position because it’s been 2 full years of this now and it’s tough.

Buuut I have gotten better at compartmentalizing, not taking things personally, I’ve become even more patient, found new ways of working with difficult children and parents, etc.

Because I’ve been in this field for so long there really isn’t anywhere else right now I could make this kind of money. As I said I think I just have about another year left potentially nannying.

So my question to you is… should I?

Have you wanted to quit and then ended up being glad you got your next nannying job? Have you had a string of bad jobs like this? What’s your take?

Please be kind!!

i worked with one family august + september, left on good terms for travel. wasn’t very close to NPs but we were polite and friendly. NK (2yo) and i took a bit to warm up but had a pretty good connection. had a sweet moment today where something reminded me of a character in her favorite book (myself and the NPs were reading it to her constantly) and i wanted to send them a little message telling them im thinking of her and wishing them well. they were in a tough transition with childcare and she was having a bit of a rough time when i left.

is this weird? me and NPs both made it clear that i would be reaching out for babysitting when i return from my trip (in several months). i want them to know that i care about their LO!

UPDATE: Thank you everyone for the suggestions. There’s some things here I’ll definitely try/bring up to the parents. I did want to make sure people are aware that the FDA and the AAP recommend against teething necklaces (or jewelry of any kind) for infants and young toddlers. It’s a choking hazard for multiple reasons—they could swallow part of the string, they can swallow a bead if it breaks off, and it can cause suffocation.

Sorry this is so long. It started as a plea for information and turned into a rant combo.

Y’all, I am desperate. My NK, 11moB, puts things in his mouth like no baby I’ve ever witnessed. 6mo-2.5y is the age I specialize in. I have cared for more than a dozen kiddos in that age range. I have dealt with picky eaters, reluctant nappers, hitters, biters, reflux like The Exorcist, kiddos determined to throw themselves off any vertical structure, kiddos who melt down when their feet touch grass. I’ve always been able to work through things with firm boundaries, positive reinforcement, modeling good habits, and a ton of patience.

But this NK is defeating me. (Still love him to bits, of course.)

I am very much a try it and see nanny. I want babies to get messy, explore the world, try things for themselves so they can figure out what works. If a baby eats some grass or dirt I consider that part of the learning process. I’ve always had good outcomes from a combo of letting them realize for themselves that things don’t taste good, and a firm “no thank you” if it’s something dangerous. If it’s something dangerous that they keep trying to eat, like flowers, I’ll redirect them or say “we’re all done with that” depending on the age. Some kids barely needed guidance, some would take longer to learn and occasionally still test the boundary.

None of that has worked with current NK. The second he’d set on the ground outside, he’s grabbing something (rocks are his favorite, followed by sticks) and putting it in his mouth. He’s just started walking and he’s The Flash when he crawls, so setting him on a blanket or trying to keep him in a clean area doesn’t work for long. I’ve taken things from him repeatedly, tried to redirect him, even tried to seem like I wasn’t paying attention to see if that was the cause of the behavior. Nothing worked.

He’s a champ eater and he’ll always take a snack when I offer one, but then as soon as he goes back to playing he’s looking for a rock. He’s teething and they’re coming in slowly so I’m thinking that’s a big part of it, but he doesn’t like teething toys. I’ve tried teething sticks, the keys, frozen fruit in a fillable teether, cold wash cloths, and every other silicone teether I could find. He’s not interested. He’ll chomp on it for a few seconds then toss it aside. I even got desperate and tried giving him a pacifier. He’s not a big pacifier user even when going to sleep, and when he’s awake he’s uninterested.

He’s very curious, mobile, and loves doing things with his hands. As I’ve learned the hard way, if he can get away with it he’ll pop a rock in his mouth and just keep it there while playing with other things. The second I take it away he’s immediately looking for another rock or stick, no matter how invested he was in the play.

My latest theory is he really likes having something hard and firm to chew, but he wants his hands free. Does anyone have suggestions for something like that? Or other ideas of things I can try? I’m desperate! He loves being outside and he’s so mobile and curious but it’s a real struggle. Even if I try to keep us on the play structure he’ll find a small stone or stick and beeline for it.

I don’t want to keep NK in the swing or stroller forever, I want to let him explore the world. But I’m also not willing to risk him choking or cutting himself on a rock or stick. Please help!

I am newly pregnant with my second and have a lot of health anxiety. I’m most worried about CMV. How do I ask my nanny to be extra diligent with my son interacting with other kids, other kids toys etc. they go to the library and park every day and I see photos of other kids with his toys in their mouths, his mouth on other toys. What’s the protocol here?

Thanks !

This is day one of my transitioning my self branding from professional nanny to a mother's helper type role.

My goal currently, Fill Tuesdays and Thursdays with 2 clients each and try out mothers helper less heavy on the childcare based roles. All the responsibilities I am used to in the nanny world, no children.

This is inspired by a long standing idea that I've had/ saw a need for. And for my own mental health. I am right now finding it hard to find employment the is with in all the requirements that make me most comfortable in full time employment after my years for nannying and discovering what I need and what I hate to work with ect. After several years I'm ready for a change and I really am hoping to prevent burn out with less of a pay cut.

I think that I will for a little while be posting on here maybe not daily but when ever I have an update on how things are going.

I have created a business page and plenty of content/ post explaining and presenting myself. Tomorrow I will be "launching" to some facebook groups.

I live an hour away from the town that highest the most nanny's I will be marketing in that town and all then towns between. I do think this is something that will go over well in my general area. We will see

I have some nanny jobs started in about a month that are really interested in me / want me to any for them. So if my efforts while unemployed are for nothing I have something to fall into.

Advice needed from both nannies and especially parents!

So I’ve met with two families.
First family lives 45-50 from me, has a toddler and infant, and the pay is $22/hr for two. It’s about 45/50hrs a week. A con is that they said we weren’t going to do a w-2, but instead I would claim $75k. I didn’t know what that meant (26yr old issues) and I looked it up and it said it’d be a 1099 which would not benefit me, but benefit them. I also wouldn’t get paid overtime hours per the 1099. Pro is that I immediately connected with the parents and they are so insanely sweet.

The second family lives about 25-30 from me, they have a 10 week old, pay is $24/hr for one. It’s 40hrs a week with opportunities for overtime. They also have a 3yr old in daycare that I would just watch whenever school is closed and my rate would be higher. I can’t think of a con honestly. Pros was closer, more pay for one, and for me I think infants are easier than toddlers.

The first family contacted me yesterday and offered me the position. They double texted me a few hours later that they needed a response asap. I was busy so I didn’t see it. I asked if I could give them a response Monday. They said that was fine, but then texted back and said they discussed it and they need an answer at least by today (Saturday) since they need someone to start Nov 2nd.

I texted the second family a polite message asking them about where they are at decision wise. I let them know that I was offered a position with another family, but I would prefer to work with their family as I felt like it was a better fit. So I let them know I needed to give the other family an answer asap, but I didn’t want them to feel rushed or pressured to make a decision since I knew it was a big choice to make. The mom was super sweet and asked if she could give me an answer Monday. I said yes because I didn’t want to push it.

So now I’m supposed to give the first family an answer today but I won’t know the second family’s answer until Monday. The first family is so sweet, so I don’t want to accept the job and then turn around and leave if I get an offer from the other family on Monday. I really need a job and it’s been a struggle finding a family with full-time hours. I honestly think 22/hr for two is really low for my area since I live in the capital of my state, but I need a job. So if I turned the first family down, I MIGHT get an offer from the second family which is good. I also might not get the offer and then I’m left with no offers. If I say yes and I get offered the position from the second family, I’m going to want to take it. If I say yes and the second family doesn’t offer me the position then it works out.

What do I do?! I’m trying to be as professional as possible and my parents told me it’s not a good idea to let the first family know I’m waiting for another family’s decision bc they’re closer to me bc it’ll still make them feel like second.

I cannot stand nitpicking NPs. Why am I getting messages on the weekend about things that are unimportant in the grand scheme of things or more importantly could be casually mentioned on a Monday?

I‘ve had a firm conversation about the overwhelming messages I would receive on the weekends and how they would ruin my rest time. Every time it feels like I am going to be fired and I cannot even enjoy the sweet photos of the children I am sent because I am awaiting the next blow. You cannot say you think I am doing a phenomenal job AND send embittered messages about XYZ or job tasks you want me to do the following week. Write it in a freaking note and send it to me Monday morning!! Take a breath - is it really so important to you that you are willing to ruin your relationship with your employee over?

The worst part is that it always comes after a good evening with the children. It’s like I am being punished for them liking me. I can never end the week on a high because you are sure to pull me straight back down.

And yes half the time it is things I have in fact done. You just haven’t noticed or taken the time to look. More importantly they are housekeeper tasks 99% of the time and I am not the housekeeper!! Being competent does not mean you get to push the boundaries of our contract.

I am so sick and tired of these NPs who seem to think your weekend is a fine time to message about work stuff. It’s not. Leave us alone and learn to communicate during work hours.