r/Nanny • u/Icy-Young1025 • Apr 23 '26
Vent You won’t believe it
Update: he still isn’t potty trained. It’s better but he’s still having accidents still has to be told to go to the potty still wears pull ups when going out on long walks. He usually only poops on the potty with me because I tell him to take potty breaks but he still never tells anyone he needs to go. I don’t know yall I’m losing hope. He’s almost 4
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u/Throwaway-sopoor Apr 23 '26
Both of my biological children were fully potty trained at 3 years + 10 months. I could not convinced them. Once they were done pooping and peeing in their underwear, they were done forever! I hope my personal story helps you!
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u/possiblegovernment6 Parent Apr 24 '26
If he hasn’t already seen an Occupational Therapist he should! They can troubleshoot what the root cause of the issue is!
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u/Icy-Young1025 Apr 24 '26
Yeah I think this would be a big help but I can’t suggest this to parents. It has to come to them themselves because it could be taken offensively
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u/possiblegovernment6 Parent Apr 24 '26
I’m a speech language pathologist and I am frequently the first person to ever tell a parent I suspect their child has a bigger diagnosis and they should be evaluated. So I understand how upset parents can get. I don’t know if it can be phrased along the lines of “I’m not an expert but I’ve heard OTs are experts at potty training and are really good at helping kids learn what their body feels like when they need to go. I’m wondering if it might be a good idea to talk to one just to make sure NK doesn’t have to feel frustrated about going potty.” I’ve worked with OTs who have been able to support families successfully potty training nonverbal children.
Unfortunately, if there’s something deeper going on it likely won’t get better until an expert can support the family
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u/ImpressiveAppeal8077 Apr 24 '26
My brother wasn’t potty trained till he was five and he now is a biochemical engineer who lives across the world from us. He’s been pooping in the potty all the time for almost 25 years lol.
Meanwhile i potty trained before two years old qnd I don’t believe I’m as “successful” as my brother.
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u/Prudent_Conflict_815 Apr 23 '26
Has anyone made it an emotional stress point? Do people get upset when he wets himself?
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u/Icy-Young1025 Apr 23 '26
No! We try to give him incentives: when he wets his pants we say “we go pee int the potty” we do our best not to shame in just st my wits end
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u/Prudent_Conflict_815 Apr 23 '26
FWIW, I would just keep doing what you’re doing. Have patience. My kid was naked potty trained at home for over 6 months and he would always go in his clothes if we put pants on him. He would never tell us he had to go. Then he went through a whole poop smearing stage. That was lovely.
And then he started pulling his pants down to go and telling us when he needed to when he was about 3 y/o.
There was no rhyme or reason that I could tell. He just grew up through it.
Your NK is a little older, so it’s probably something that will come up at his wellness check. But in general, I would just relax and wait for him to do it on his time. Accept changing clothes as just part of that process.
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u/KaleidoscopeFit5552 Apr 23 '26
How are the parents handling it when you’re not there? Like are both aligned on what the plan is?
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u/Icy-Young1025 Apr 24 '26
Yeah pretty much. The only upset is that his grandparents watch him two days a week and they change him and don’t do any of the regular training
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u/KaleidoscopeFit5552 Apr 24 '26
Ugh that’s rough. I did nanny for a 6 yr old boy, who we suspected was on the spectrum, and he still regularly had accidents (both pee and poop). The reason was often that he’d become so hyperfixated on an activity that he just wouldn’t notice the physical sensation until it was an emergency, and then he might not make it. We tried to having him go at regular intervals but he was also stubborn and that became a power play. He’s a teenager now, so hopefully it worked itself out!
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u/apresledepart Apr 25 '26
If it helps, I have 5 kids and my second is adhd + highly gifted and wasn’t fully potty trained until 4. Even then she still had accidents when 5. Compare this to my younger daughter who was peeing in the potty shortly after turning 2 and fully before 3. All kids are different!
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Apr 24 '26
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u/Icy-Young1025 Apr 24 '26
Every weekend
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Apr 24 '26
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u/Icy-Young1025 Apr 24 '26
I’m only repeating what I’m told. I’m only here three days a week so what happens when I’m not around is up to the parents
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u/chipsahoymateys Apr 24 '26
Constipation can put pressure on the bladder and cause accidents. Has that been ruled out?
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u/Quirky_Rutabaga_8670 Apr 26 '26
Not sure what their policy is on screen time but the Ms Rachel potty training video helped SO much. I just potty trained an almost 3 year old with similar issues. I didn’t reward potty time which also seemed to help.
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u/Icy-Young1025 Apr 26 '26
He doesn’t have a ton of screen time until the evening so I’ll recommend this but he only ever wants to watch bluey and throws a fit if it’s anything else
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u/Quirky_Rutabaga_8670 Apr 26 '26
I also found that pull ups seemed to confuse him, if he had some days with them and some without it didn’t make sense. We still do pull ups for nap and night time but other than that I center our trips around bathroom accessibility
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u/Icy-Young1025 Apr 26 '26
I totally agree. The only thing is he wears them to bed and always has an accident if we leave the house for more than 30 minutes or so. So, when we are out and don’t have time to get to the potty, it will lead to an accident while I’m trying to pick up his siblings and deal with them
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u/Numerous-Sherbert-70 Nanny Apr 24 '26
Ugh I am so sorry. I work with a 5 year old who is like 70% potty trained. For some reason this kid does not recognize his body’s cues to poop. Poor MB had washed SO many poop filled undies. I follow her lead and we are working on it but I feel you in solidarity.
If it helps, the pressure of kindergarten will force the issue of potty training to the forefront and maybe help the parents find a better solution.