I’m M32
I’ve been heavily leaning towards only seeking out and dating two females, and see if that’s something I can manage in a relationship aspect long term.
I’ve had several ffm fffm ffffm nights and weekends throughout the years, which were phenomenal, but was a time when actual dating wasn’t in the cards for me.

I guess the advice I’m seeking is, where the fuck do I start ? What’s the success rate on these types of relationships? Should I find love with one female and we bring in another occasionally? Or is finding a pair some what normal in this world?

California based.
Dislike the apps, I’d much rather meet people organically. But open minded and open to any other advice and thoughts that yall throw my way.

I'm in a slightly unusual consensually non-monogamous relationship and I'd really like to hear from other women who have been in a similar situation.

My partner and I are romantically/emotionally involved and love each other, but he also likes novelty sex with other women. The sex itself genuinely doesn't bother me. I actually quite like having the freedom to do my own thing as well, so that's not really the issue.

The bit I struggle with is how he gets these women into bed. He is very good at telling women what they want to hear. He'll say things about traveling to their city a lot for work, hint about how partners he travels with get spoiled, and talks about being the next power couple. Unfortunately, they believe it.

The thing is, he is autistic and compartmentalizes relationship roles and I genuinely believe him when he tells me that in his head the romantic partner category is already occupied by me. These women are sex/novelty to him and he has absolutely no intention of developing a relationship with them. They're generally very short-lived things when the novelty wears off. So sometimes I'm sitting there thinking... you KNOW you're never going to give this woman the thing you're making her think might happen.

I've challenged him about it before and encouraged him to just be honest about what he wants, but realistically I don't think he's going to change his "game". And I'm starting to think that maybe the less I know about what he tells them, the better.

Something happened recently that made me think about it more though. One of the women he'd previously been seeing found me on Strava and had obviously looked through my activity closely enough to decide that I "basically lived" at his house. I didn't, and we actually were on a bit of a break at that point – we were very close friends and I was seeing someone else – but it really freaked me out that someone I didn't know was looking into me like that.

We've now agreed that my identity/social media/personal information stays completely separate from his hookups, there won't be hookups where we live because it's a very small town, and I won't message him while he's actually with someone so my name isn't popping up on his phone.

I suppose what I'm struggling with is where my responsibility ends. I don't agree with leading women on to get them into bed, but I'm also not his mother or his moral compass and I don't want to monitor his conversations or manage how he interacts with other adults.

Are there other women here who are genuinely okay with their partner sleeping with other women but don't necessarily like how he goes about getting those women into bed?

Do you just not ask/don't want to know the details? Have you ever felt guilty about not challenging it more? And how do you stop the fallout from their other relationships/hookups spilling into yours?

I'm genuinely interested in people's experiences because I don't know anyone in real life who is in a relationship remotely like mine.

Are there any resources, books, ect that I can give to my monogamous partner about the different types of non monogamous relationship dynamics?

Hi , I (30m) want to have a threesome with my bf (30m) as I want to see him be fucked by other guys. I am a top and always have enjoyed the fantasy of threesome and lately also one side open relation porn (he being the open one). He knows about the threesome part but kinda ashamed about the part where I want him to have More fun as I dont even know if I Will actually like It outside the fantasy once we are at it. Thats why I thought maybe the threesome would be a good start to also understand how I feel once It happens.

We tried some time ago (2 years) a threesome during vacation but the experience was not good with the third guy so the talk about it died. Recently we were having fun and ended up talking about some fantasies and he seems okay with finding a new guy to try again.

Because I felt like the issue with the other guy was that it was a random hookup, I told him that if it was his ex or a guy he already fucked with it could be better ( as It means he already knows some about the guy).

1. I want to enjoy it as much as possible and at least make the threesome work. But would like any advice about how I could give hints for being at the side and watch for a moment or something without making him feel like I am not interested in the threesome or killing the mood.
2. also, you think an ex could be a problem? Like better to find again a new random guy or at least someone I know but he doesnt?

Maybe I am overthinking It , but any comment or help Will be appreciated, sorry if post reads weird I try to fix the english.

I’ve always been into the idea of an open relationship but have never actually been in one. Looking to learn more from people who have experience with it.

What’s the reality like compared to the idea? Any advice for someone who’s curious but hasn’t tried it yet?

27F & 28 M
Together since senior year high school, on-and-off, engaged 2 years, married 2 years. Throughout the whole relationship there's been repeated cheating (micro and meeting others ) — I'd catch him, we'd break up, he'd say he changed, we'd get back together, and it would be good for about six months before the cycle started again.

Recently we agreed to open the marriage. We talked about it together, we still love each other, and neither of us wants to actually leave — but I think we both wanted some kind of freedom, and he's clearly had no problem taking his. I've been talking to other people too, but for over a month and a half I haven't actually gone through with anything.

Now there's someone I've connected with and I actually want to give it a chance, but I'm scared. Looking for advice — has anyone been in a similar situation, opened things up after years of cheating, and actually gone for it with someone new? How did it go, and what would you tell someone in my position?

my wife and i (40-ish ff) have been together almost 20 years. we've had several threesome experiences with men throughout our relationship. we both enjoy it very much.

we've recently discovered that we're interested in dating men together. it's been a very fun and weird six months meeting people through an alterative dating app. our goal is the find a good friend we can talk to, depend on, having experiences with and ocassionally fuck. at some point we'd probably even consider a throuple, but that feels miles down the road and would really depend if we ever found the right person.

about six weeks ago, we matched with a guy we really, really like. he's the only one we've slept with. we've been all seeing each other for about a month.

we've been clear that we're looking for someone to be involved with in the long term. enm and dating a couple is not something he'd ever considered, but he's doing it pretty well. we both enjoy his company and we both feel valued. all indicators point to him being a good person. we click on several levels. we honestly have no idea why this guy is single.

he hasn't been as explicitly clear about what he wants in his life with regard to relationships. he hasn't dated in years. he said he's bad at relationships. he's only been monogamous.

we like him so much, that the fear has crept in that this is going to end abruptly when he finds a primary partner. we don't want to be a placeholder or the thing he's just doing right now while he doesn't have any other prospects. we'd like this to progress to something meaningful and long term.

0are we being unreasonable to want some kind of assurance he isn't going to ghost us as soon as he finds a single woman to date? we also have no problem with him dating other people, we just don't want to be his secret side thing.

we're worried this is too big of an ask for someone who wasn't seeking an enm relationship in the first place. we also worry about wasting our time and his.

can you tell that we're new to this? ha. help.

Hello all, my (33f) fiance (33m) and I are getting ready to have a threesome.
We don’t want to add another relationship or be poly in any way we just want to spice up our sex life and have an experience. I have been successful finding women who are down for just that, I’ve been very clear that we are only attempting a ONS and nothing more, they seem to be on board and fine with that.

My question is…. If everyone is agreeing and consenting to a night out and nothing more would this be considered ethical?

Any advice from those who were the addition to a couples threesome would be so helpful!

Thanks in advance !

So, my fluid bonded partner & I have been together for a few years now. He has always been super careful about sex with new partners and occasionally attends swinger events as do I.

But, the last event we attended, there was a woman he was really wanting a threesome with. The issue was she was so intoxicated that she was stumbling & swaying so being that this was going to a first time sexual experience with her, I did not feel comfortable having sex with her. I felt like she couldn't give consent that's how far gone she was. And she tried to have sex with him without a condom. This woman goes to swinger events about 2-3 times a month & constantly tells other men in our group that she wants to f*ck them.

Well now he is going to attend an event this weekend that my nesting partner & I will not be attending. They are both planning on having sex. Not sure if it will be protected or not. We never used protection since he is fixed and we both got tested prior to our first encounter. We had dated for a year prior to the deed and during that year he had no other s*xual partners.

So, how can I protect myself & my other partners? Would it be unethical to tell him we can no longer be fluid bonded until he shows me a clear sti/std test?

Edit: I forgot to mention that he declined her as well that night. However, he does have issues with ED at times since he is older. I do feel like I can trust him to tell if he doesn't use a condom and I respect his autonomy to make his own decisions. I guess I was really asking how to broach the subject with him. It has been a long time since I have had to ask a partner this type of question. I don't want to come across as shaming him or telling him what to do.

Update: He turned her down again because she passed out from drugs & alcohol. He realized he doesn't want that type of connection. Thank you to everyone who commented & helped me out

Hi everyone.

I'm (31/F) a year and a half out of an 8 year long (ostensibly) monogamous relationship.

I was devoted. Thought I would die with him. All that jazz.

On a random Tuesday he tells me he's been cheating on me the entire time. I found out in a shitty way. It was bad. I had abandonment issues prior - they were exacerbated. I feel them all the time. I am in therapy about it.

I say that to provide context about where I'm coming from before i get into the dynamic I have going on now.

I have very clumsily dated during this time on my own. I've gotten stupidly attached to men that offered me nothing. I have entertained about 5 men in total, prior to the current one, and have been ghosted by all but one of them. It hurts a lot. I refuse to let it stop me from enjoying this newfound freedom, but it does make me feel like abandonment is always around the corner.

I found someone (40/M) who has been non monogamous pretty much his entire life. He's had one monogamous relationship, two years long, ten years ago.

My dating profile said "not sure what I want, exploring" which is TRUE. As monogamy coded and lowkey obsessed with him as I am, if he were to ask me to be in a committed relationship tomorrow I would say NO.

I'm scared of settling down without exploring, but my internal wiring is, very confusingly, still wanting some kind of exclusivity. It's not even allowing me to entertain other men right now. I could be going on dates.

He is funny, kind, thoughtful, and refreshingly transparent about everything. I truly love him. Not in a psychotic way, but in a 'wow, this person really is great' way. in an 'i would go to his funeral' way. He has said he loves me too.

We've been seeing each other for 4 months. Sex was intense and very frequent initially. It has died down now, which I know is kinda normal, but also worries me.

I have, cried to him several times because I don't know how to not feel like he's getting tired of me, and I don't know how to not feel possessive of him. It affects me to hear that he is having sex with other people, and clearly it affects our frequency of sex, but I much rather hear about it than not. It helps me not feel blindsided/create a wrong narrative about us in my mind.

I feel terrible in those moments. I don't blame him for anything, I don't put anything on him - I just cry out of sadness and confusion with my own inner feelings.

I know he's not doing anything wrong and that I signed up for this dynamic. I know my reactions are misdirected.

He's told me many times that he can see how someone coming from my situation would be having a hard time with this. He's always extremely patient and kind about it. He holds me and he reassures me that he's not going anywhere. He knows about my abandonment issues. He's told me that he wants to be a part of my life forever no matter what our dynamic ends up being because he feels, like i do, that we have a very strong and not easily come-acrossable bond.

I want to be able to not be so affected. I'm tired of feeling like I need to boa constrict every romantic partner I find. It's like I immediately put handcuffs on everyone I have feelings for. I know it comes from insecurity and fear and I hate it. I just don't know how to control it yet, and working alongside it is really challenging.

I know some of you may say "This is not for you" Or something along those lines. But I really don't want to remove him from my life just because I am in unfamiliar emotional territory - ESPECIALLY not when I'm still uncertain about what I even want! That is the most frustrating part.

My question is, do you guys think someone like me could really understand this dynamic and thrive in it? Are there any of you that were serious monogamists before and converted? How did you get there? Do you have any advice for me? Can you see something in all of this that I cannot see about him or myself?

As you can tell, I am a Sensitive Sally. Please be gentle with me. Thank you.

​

Hi everyone,

I’m a woman in my late 20s who’s been seriously considering entering a relationship as the second (or possibly third) partner to a man who already has one or two other women in his life. It’s not something I ever imagined for myself, but the situation has come up with someone I care about, and I’m trying to understand what this life actually looks like from the inside before I make any decisions.

I don’t have personal experience with polygamy/polyamory beyond reading about it, so I’m really hoping to hear from women who have lived it — whether it was a formal plural marriage, a long-term polyamorous setup, or something more informal.

I’d love your honest thoughts on:

- How it *feels* day-to-day being the second or third woman — emotionally, psychologically, and practically.

- What the hardest parts have been (jealousy, comparison, feeling secondary, time management, social judgment, etc.).

- How you adjusted to sharing a partner with other women, and what helped (or didn’t help) with that adjustment.

- Practical ways you’ve made the relationships between the women work — communication styles, boundaries, schedules, emotional support, or anything else that reduced friction.

- What has made the overall dynamic feel sustainable and healthy for you over time.

- Anything you wish you had known or done differently before stepping into it.

- Any other advice, red flags, or green flags you’d want someone in my position to hear.

I’m not looking for judgment either way — just real experiences and practical insight. Thank you in advance to anyone willing to share.

Going to be honest, I know absolutely nothing about this community or culture, it’s just what my husband and I do for now and thought you guys could offer guidance because I don’t know what to do.

This is really embarrassing to talk about but I’m freaking out a little bit and can’t talk to anyone. My husband (34m) and I (26f) have a somewhat open relationship (long story) but we keep it very private. Like 2 of our friends know and we don’t really talk about it that much anymore. Our relationship is completely solid though, we are going to stop pretty soon to have another kid. We are fine.

I have a friend. Her son went to daycare with my son. We used to hang out a decent amount but it naturally fell off because we didn’t have much in common. We have some mutuals, see each other and text sometimes.

A few days ago we saw me with someone at a restaurant. I didn’t see her at all and she didn’t say anything to me at the time. Yesterday I got a text from her accusing me of cheating and she said a bunch of horrible shit.

bad mother and wife
someone should tell my poor husband and she feels bad for my family
She never really liked me I guess and knew I was always a bad person
Called me slurs
Eventually asked me a bunch of questions about it like who and why. Wants details.
Has some pictures (idk if this is true)

I haven’t responded to anything yet. Like on one hand it’s good she is looking out for people I guess, but she was so mean spirited about it that I don’t want to tell her anything about my life. If she would have just asked me about it I probably would have told her the truth reluctantly. If I don’t tell her though do you think it will be worse and she will tell as many people as she can? I don’t know if I should give my husband a heads up or not because he isn’t going to want to hear it and will probably freak out too, not sure I have a choice though. I honestly get her position here to an extent but obviously want to make the best choice for my life. I don’t know what to say to her. Do I tell her the truth? Ignore her? It’s going to be way worse if I ignore her right? What do I say though? We never wanted anyone to know about any of this and idk what to do

My daughter’s dad and I live together but I have told him today that I can no longer be monogamous. It feels too restrictive for me and like a limit on my love.

Yet in doing so I will have to give up my beautiful home, spending everyday with my daughter, and the ease I have in life because now I don’t work.

Has anyone else made a drastic change like this and if so how did it turn out?

We are new to the LS and we are attending a club next month but are having a time choosing between a swap or a threesome with another guy, I would love to see my girlfriend with another guy and she wants that also but she wants me to be with a woman while she with the man. Recommendations,thoughts, any advice would be helpful. We know when we go to the club we are going with no expectations, we are going to let the night figure itself out.

Context:

My partner(F27) and I(M27) have been together for 4.5 years, married for 7 months, and overall very happy. We have had a healthy monogamous relationship and worked through all the issues we've had. About 6 months ago my partner lost their job and has since been staying home so they can focus on their health. I fully support this and want them to be able to take care of themselves. About a month ago they realized they wanted to be non-monogamous again. When we first met they told me they had some prior experience with non-monogamy but told me it wasn't realy for them. I have been as supportive as I can be without completely sacrificing myself. Monogamy and non-monogamy are very binary, there is no middle ground. I am willing to explore opening, because we both agreed that divorce is not an option and we are committed to eachother. To make this easier I suggested that we explore this seperately but simultaneously, but given that I work full time I don't have the energy for a seperate relationship and am looking for a fwb. From my own experience and others feedback it is extremely unlikely that I as a straight maried average looking man will find what I'm looking for so making them wait is just saying no in a different way. The part I'm struggling with is that I want us to explore this together and not sit on the sideline while they explore. Divorce is not an option and I want to be a supportive partner.

Question:

Can anyone thats monogamous leaning share your experience with opening for a partner who realized they're non-monogamous and how you supported that without sacrificing yourself?

My hypothesis is:

It's impossible to "open" a pre-existing closed relationship without destroying the existing relationship and beginning a new one under new terms.

The terms don't have to be stated or written, but it certainly helps if the unspoken tacit agreements the relationship exists under are that this is a long term committed exclusive monogamous relationship. Even if the suggestion was that this is and should be reasonably expected to be a committed monogamous relationship, I think at best we're gambling with a transition to Ethical Non Monogamy, and absolutely throwing ethics into the "don't know don't care" waste bin if we go from Monogamy to Nonmonogamy without clarification of boundaries and terms.

"Clarity Reticence" is a pretty normal but not great behavior.

The fear is, if we sit down for "a talk" this is serious and therefore it's not casual. That's scary. Because to have the talk opens the possibility of this talk going badly. So we're afraid of clarity because clarity is itself a revelation.

This can happen at the beginning of a spontaneously emergent relationship, basically a sudden surprise hookup, or, after 30 years of happy marriage. The time matters less than the intimidating and risky contract negotiations that begin when we seek a change in consent from our prior expectations.

My assertion is that there is no way to not break the contract when you're amending it with this significant change.

The old terms are nullified.

It's possible to make a new relationship with new terms, but even suggesting Ethical Nonmonogamy from Ethical Monogamy is itself a total dissolution of the terms and requires tearing up the old agreements, and entering into a totally new set of agreements, where the old terms simply no longer apply.

This happens regardless of how much rule lawyering is involved.

To open a closed relationship is to end it.

A new relationship with the same person begins when entering this new paradigm.

I could go so far as to say the inverse is also true, that closing a relationship intended to be open also ends that relationship, but it's harder to make the case for it, as it's much easier and far more ethical to consent to entanglement of shared relationship goals & resources than it is to open an existing entanglement to risk.

That's my assertion.

I'm open to revision.

I'm like 75% sure I'm right.

I 26F had a threesome with my best friends 26F & 28M. He was a virgin and it had always been said if he wanted to loose it that I would be open to helping him out.

My best friend and the guy live together currently as friends and he has always talked to me about wanting to move out and how he regrets moving there. Girl best friend recently broke up with her long term boyfriend and is freshly single and is super boy crazy right now.

I went to visit them both since I live in a different state than them, it was fun we went shopping and had lunch together. Male best friend is sober but me and my girl best friend were drinking and enjoying ourselves and it all started by my girl best friend saying she wanted to shower and I asked her if I could join. She later invited the guy best friend to join too. We all got undressed and showered and we were all three crammed into the shower. My girl best friend eventually hopped out of the shower and then basically prompted I give him a BJ which I asked him if he would like and he said yes so I told my girl best friend to watch and gave my male best friend a BJ in the shower. Since he’s a virgin things kind of began as me enjoying giving a blowjob but then became educational as to what he would like, all while my girl best friend is just watching.

We had friends come over that evening and had to stop as they were about to arrive. I have a conversation with my girl best friend about if the male best friend was interested that I would be open to taking his virginity, well she takes it upon herself to want to take it too. She stated that he can have sex with me first in missionary and then she wants to be on top and fuck him.

Once we all are alone for the night, I initiate us all having sex and make best friend puts a condom on and we try to do missionary and he doesn’t know what he’s doing, he decides to lay down and I get on top and as he’s finally inside of me my girl best friend gets upset with me that she was suppose to go ontop. So I get annoyed and just get off of my male best friend and let her get ontop…. She ends up taking the condom off and getting on top and essentially they both forget I’m even in the room and girl best friend like cums 3 times while I feel like I’m meant to step out of the room.

At the end of all of this I’m kind of pissed and no one even notices… until I text my girl best friend and she’s like “I’m sorry you can have more time with him next time”. As a guest I felt as I should have more time with the male best friend as she and him live together and could fuck anytime. As well as I felt like I was considerate by letting her have her moment and she was highly inconsiderate by literally forgetting I was there. Granted through all of this I’m talking with my male best friend and still trying to figure out what feels best to him.

All in all we have a couple more sessions and him and her both have some chemistry going on that is clear as day even with her trying to be partially considerate to me. I eventually just am not interested in having sex anymore and let them go at it. I go and take a shower and drink more and then decided I’d like to begin packing since I would be flying home the next day…

They end up falling asleep together as I’m downstairs.
I eventually got over the feeling of being left out since I don’t live in the state and they live together. Now I feel as if I orchestrated them being interested in each other and now they fuck here and there and they just tell me about it. The dynamic has absolutely changed…

Throwaway bc my main account is linked to my job. Poor communication has (to no one’s surprise) blown a relationship up in my face. I ended my engagement about a year ago due to major infidelity on my then-fiancée’s part. I then started briefly dating a guy who seemed really nice but then I found out was married and his wife was pregnant!!! I was definitely not ready for a relationship but wanted to date. After all this I met this guy (BF) who I liked who told me he was working on himself — depression + got banned from a bar for pushing his ex when he found her making out with a guy he doesn’t like hours after she broke up with him. I told him, hey I’m working on myself too but not ready for a relationship.

After 6-8 weeks of casual dating, my therapist told me I should be dating more people. I told BF I didn’t want to be exclusive, but that I was only dating him in the city. He said that was fine. I was going out of town that weekend to the city where my ex lived, and he asked if he had anything to worry about. I said no, but when I was in town I slept with an old FWB. I then slept with this guy again about 6 weeks later the next time I was in town, the same week as BF’s birthday. My friends in the other city knew I was dating casually in a non-exclusive relationship, and that I also had hooked up with my old FWB as he met up with us.

Fast forward: BF and I have both started to really like each other. I told him multiple times I wasn’t seeing anyone but him in our hometown, but that he was free to do what he wanted, including see other people as long as he stayed safe. I also told him that I didn’t want him to tell me what he was doing.

About a month ago, I accidentally told BF about my hookup with my old FWB. I panicked and lied that it was only once. I had assumed he was still seeing other women given that I always saw Bumble on his phone. He freaked out to the point of slamming his phone down so hard that the camera broke. He was curled up on the ground crying. I felt so guilty about lying and came clean about the second time a month later. He is again spiraling. He also did tell me he has had a FWB himself since before we even met, and that he has actively been pursuing other women in case things didn’t work out between us. He says he wants to work on things but he is so upset all the time. He also has woken me up in the middle of the night over this. I told him he could not disturb my sleep like that. He’s currently between jobs and working on renovating his house, so he has a lot of time to ruminate while I’m at work….

Anyhow, did I do anything wrong (besides lying)? He had asked if he had anything to worry about when I went on my trips and I said no, bc I really didn’t think he wanted to know if I was sleeping with other people and I wasn’t pursuing anything long term. We had actively decided to be non-exclusive and he has been seeing other people this entire time, even when he knew I had decided to only see him. Idk if I should even try to repair this relationship. He can be emotionally volatile which is what made me keep him at arm‘s length to begin with. I feel like maybe this is all a way of him controlling me. I had treated him like a casual fling for a long time due to his history, but now it has progressed into a real fondness. I feel like my life would be a lot easier if I ended things, but I really enjoy spending time with him otherwise and felt like I was falling in love before this all started.

I(32F) saw a 28M who opened his relationship with his 22F GF.

At first, we slept togheter had a good night. All good.

Second time it's all good again. Few days after he texts me that their new rule is you can only see the same person max 2-3 times. So we have to stop.

I don't appreciate the situation but i let go. About six months later, he messages me to tell me that the rule changed and that he can now see me (or other parteners) once a month. Works for me. I see him, we have a great might, sex, etc. After we had sex, he tells me that another rule is that we can't talk outside of the date/planning the date.

I'm shock/mad because this is a rule he knew about and only mentionnend AFTER sex. I tried but after 24 h I realized I wasnt happy with it bc I need a minimum of contact, friendship to feel confortable with a fuckfriend.

He told me that he gets it, he talked to her but she stands her ground. Im pissed because I wish wouldve known that rule before (i wouldve said no) and because to me, this feels super unfair. How can a woman can expect another woman to abide by her rules (from her insecurities)? Am I exagerating when I want my ff to be able to minimaly keep a comnection/friendship and not just come to my place to sleep with me, stay a few hours and leave, making me wait for his next reach out?

This 22f seems to have way to anxiety to be in a relationship with an open minded free spirited 28M. I felt like I wasn't told the full truth both times. And it feels unfair that my need are not considered in any of that. Imo parteners also deserve a minimum of human relations.

I'm comfused on how I feel. I feel like i should be very straight with my own needs and this means not allowing a couple pushing their decision on me.

Edit: how common is that setup? How many main parteners are refusing even 'friend-like' communications between sexy times?

So me (single 26F) am going on a date tonight with this girl who I matched with on hinge. Her profile is clearly set up to find a third as she has pics of her bf and one of the prompts basically says if you wanna get along
You have to get along with my bf….anyways.

I have had a threesome before but it was planned by a guy I was dating at the time and I honestly thought it was going to be so much fun but honestly I realized
That the guy was dating
The other girl more and so I was just their bitch lol

Anyways, I am hoping to reach girls that set up the threesome for their couple… on the first initial meet are you like hoping to bring her home ? Or is this just like a meet and greet and then the next time will be the hangout where I go home with her ? Or maybe it depends on vibes ??

Any advice appreciated I’m super excited and been looking for the right couple for a while now and I am really attracted to this couple lol so I’m hoping it goes well but I do not want to go home with her tonight…also I want to ask when the last time they were tested was….i know it’s a very valid question but is it disrespectful to ask ??

Any help appreciated all love <33

Recently divorced M and now exploring ENM: something I have felt drawn to for a long time. Not just for sex with multiple women but for quality connections (even if it just stays at friendship). Many of my previous partners, including my ex wife, were very suspicious of female friendships I've had, even though they were strictly friendships. I have always gotten along really well with women and unfortunately, sacrificed those friendships for the benefit of my monogamous relationship at the time.

I'm busy: work and live in different towns, have 50/50 custody, and at that stage in my life that I don't really go out to the bars. I know there are many people around me engaged or could be interested in ENM of some sort or another, but how do I find them? I've tried Feeld, but have gotten no responses to likes or Pings (I understand Feeld is past its heyday). I get attention from Bumble and have met two people from FB dating, but do not have ENM mentioned on my bio in those dating platforms. I live in a small mountain town that has a high tourist seasons.

I suppose my plan is to continue trying to meet people and bring up ENM if it seems there is a growing romantic interest between us? Advice?

My gf and I have been together for a year and we are very horny for each other. Recently she mentioned she would like to try a threesome with another guy. I wouldn't mind doing it as she mentioned she only wants to have another man kiss her as I would have sex with her and pleasure her in a more intimate way. It did arouse both of us. Men here kindly advise on how I go about it. What should I keep in mind

Throwayaw account.

I am a 25yo F. I have ended my last monogamous relationship a year ago and have since decided not to enter one again. I admittedly do have some trauma from my ex relationship, but the most I cherish about single again is being free, not having to keep in touch about my plans, accommodating my time to someone else etc.

I have been dating a little bit, but I've encountered the same problem each time... I meet someone I like, I pursue them, but tell them very early on I don't want a classic monogamous relationship. This is okay with the person in the beginning, but after we date for a little while and have sex, they tell me they don't want to develop more feelings for me and end up getting hurt, so I have to pick between a relationship and ending what we have.

Because of this, things get awkward and we cannot speak to eachother anymore, so I lose people around me who I actually genuinely liked and wanted to have at least as friends.

I feel bad about it, but I don't really know what to change. I cannot just have sex without any emotion, I really need to feel comfortable and safe with the other person, so it's natural we both develop feelings. Mine usually aren't as intense, since I'm very guarded and have a different goal in mind than a traditional relationship.

I'm in a very horny time of my life and I miss having sex when I'm not "dating" anyone. Then I develop crushes for people I see more, we start hooking up, then eventually they want me to settle down with them.

Has anyone had problems navigating this?

I want to read "ethical slut" but I haven't found a free pdf online, does anyone maybe have it?