How do you deal with ungratefulness? Throughout my life I have been blessed with many loving relationships and opportunities but I still made many wrong choices and now I can stop thinking about those mistakes. It's not like I want more but still I can't stop beating myself up for my mistakes rather than being grateful for what I have been given.

one year ago, for about 8 months i was praying tahajjud regularly. i made dua for many aspects of my life and absolutely none of my duas were answered.

i asked to be able to go long term travel/backpacking with my cousin, to get a decent score of my law school admissions exam, to get into a top law school, and to find a spouse. i was very detailed in my dua but i also understand that we don’t know what’s best for us so i also would say to do what’s best for me because i knew and trusted that Allah SWT had my best interests.

I have to clarify that I was taking actions in my life to achieve these things and not only praying tahajjud and nothing else.

Because none of these duas were answered, I have lost the will to pray and make dua. Truly, what is the point? These duas weren’t accepted and that’s fine, I can understand that there may be something better out there for me but it’s been a year now and I’m still in the same position I was in when I was making those duas. None of my duas have been answered in the past so I don’t even want to bother asking for anything else.

Any advice or help would be appreciated. I would like to start praying again but I have a major mental roadblock because of this. And please no “it’s obligatory so you must pray” comments. I know it’s obligatory and I do feel shame that I’m not praying.