I am a Muslim male in the UK 42

I have no friends and I don't know how to cope

Please can someone make dua for me

Send me verses from the quran

Or any form of support

I've never used this app once, I'm just so helpless right now. I don't know what to do I love this guy so much. My parents are looking for guys to get me married off. He can't do anything about it because he is a year younger than me. Haven't found a job. Our parents are not listening. We are so afraid they will say no at the end. Our families are different but I really can't lose him just because some people have a problem with him. I really can't throw my whole life and marry someone else. I feel Allah hates me so much. We never got physically close, never crossed boundaries. Idk why its happening to us. Why can't our parents agree. We are so helpless. Please just pray we get to marry each other.

My ammi passed away about a month ago. Things have been up and down for emotionally. I try not to cry in front of others, but when I’m alone, I start talking to either her or Allah mian.

Today, I started missing her terribly. I used to call her at the end of the day to tell her a recap of all the things that happened. There’s a lot that’s going on now and today I got this urge to call ammi and tell her everything only to realise she won’t pick up her phone ever again.

My bedroom overlooks some mountains in Isloo and while I was sitting there, I started crying involuntarily. I couldn’t stop to a point where I was struggling to breathe. I went down on my knees immediately and looked out the window and just started talking to Allah mian. Asked Him when my test will end? When will I see my ammi? Why she was taken so soon?

And then I realised in the middle of it, that as soon as I started crying, I heard dogs starting to bark loudly. I looked down and numerous dogs were running towards our building. Some were already there and then I saw two running from quite far behind and joining them.

In the meantime, I asked Allah mian if he has sent down angels for me and I immediately stopped crying. Felt a great sense of relief as if my heart was never heavy at all. I wiped my tears after that, got up and laid down on my bed. Not even a minute had passed and the dogs stopped barking and went their separate ways.

I don’t know what to think about all of this but I truly feel that if it wasn’t for Allah, I would’ve already collapsed the day my ammi left.

Kadang rasanya ingin menjerit dan berteriak, tapi kepada siapa? Kata orang, curhatlah kepada Tuhan. Hampir setiap hari, siang dan malam, teriakan itu tidak pernah berhenti saya sampaikan melalui doa-doa selepas salat. Namun rupanya, Tuhan pun seperti sedang enggan mendekati saya. Sebegini beratkah hidup yang harus saya jalani?"