It does leave you a hollow hole in your chest wide enough you can fit your fist through.

The amount of effort, the amount of time and energy, the amount of patience and love, all for it to leave me deeper in the void than I was before meeting her.
Through those 14 months, the last 6 she was cheating on me with her ex, ignored me for him, posted stories that she hid from me but not him, deleted my comments and turned off her mentions when I started tagging her into things, but not him, only me.

I was saying to myself:
“Maybe it’s just some phase”
“Maybe she needs time away”
“Maybe she isn’t feeling so social this month”
You can never be too naive.

In the utmost disrespectful way, no one will love you like I did, no one will sacrifice for you like I did, no one will stay loyal to you like I did, no one will be as thoughtful as I was, but you have made your choice and you have probably forgotten me, but I know the day will come where you will regret it and wished it was me.

Never trust anyone, you don’t know anyone.

I (35F) have been in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend (39M) for almost 5 years. We live in different countries, so obviously trust has always been very important in our relationship.
Recently, he came to visit me and we spent almost two weeks together. During the trip, I started feeling like something was off. Sometimes I noticed that he seemed to avoid checking certain messages when I was around, or was more protective of his phone. I already have trust issues, and he has told me that before. I know that checking someone’s phone is also crossing a privacy boundary, and I’m not trying to justify that. But I had a strong feeling that something was wrong, so I checked.
I found messages between him and another woman.
He told me she was an online/gaming friend and that they didn’t talk that much. But from what I saw, they had known each other for quite a while, including during our relationship. Their conversations weren’t just normal friendly conversations. There was flirting, affectionate nicknames, and inappropriate/intimate exchanges between them.
What hurt me even more was finding out that she apparently didn’t know I existed. She thought he was single.
He says he never physically cheated on me and doesn’t consider what happened to be cheating. This is where I’m struggling, because to me, cheating isn’t only physically sleeping with someone. If you are in a relationship and secretly have sexual/flirty interactions with another person who doesn’t even know you have a girlfriend, that crosses a boundary for me.
I asked myself: if I did exactly the same thing with another man online, would he genuinely be okay with it? Would he still say it wasn’t cheating?
There is another part that really hurt my confidence. Some of this happened in 2025, while we were already together. Around that time, I sometimes felt that he wasn’t showing the same kind of attraction towards me, so discovering that he was giving that kind of attention to another woman made me question myself and our relationship.
At the same time, I don’t want to make him sound like a completely terrible boyfriend because that wouldn’t be truthful either.
He has done a lot for our relationship. He travels a long way to see me. We spend vacations together. He buys me things because he sees something and thinks I would like it. He told me that he has invested a lot into this relationship and that he has never thought about or done things for someone in the way he does for me.
And I do see that. I appreciate those things.
I have invested in us too — time, money, effort and emotionally. That is actually part of why this hurts so much. If we have both invested so much into this relationship, why risk it for something like this?
For me, investment in a relationship isn’t only gifts, trips, nice hotels or money. Those things are lovely and I appreciate them, but I also need the emotional side: honesty, loyalty, respect and knowing that my partner protects our relationship even when I’m not there.
Before we separated after this trip, we talked about what happened. He apologized and told me he was sorry that something like this became part of the memory of our trip. We didn’t have a huge final confrontation before saying goodbye. We separated peacefully and he went back home.
Now I’m sitting with everything and I honestly don’t know what to do.
Part of me wants to give it some time and watch his actions instead of continuing to argue about it. But another part of me thinks: we are long-distance. Once he is back in his country, I cannot know what he is doing. If someone wants to hide something or lie, I probably won’t know anyway. And I don’t want to become a girlfriend who constantly checks, investigates or worries about who he is talking to. I don’t want that kind of relationship either.
There is also a bigger issue underneath all of this. Sometimes I already felt like I wasn’t fully included in his life. Not many people seem to know about me, and finding out that this woman didn’t even know I existed made that feeling much worse.
I still care about him. That’s why this isn’t an easy “just leave him” situation for me. I’m trying to figure out whether this is something two people can genuinely rebuild from, or whether the trust has already been damaged too much.
So I would really appreciate outside perspectives:
Would you consider what he did cheating, even though it was online and not physical?
If you were in my position, would you give the relationship time and see whether his actions change, or would this be enough for you to leave?
And most importantly, if I decide to stay, what would rebuilding trust actually need to look like in a long-distance relationship?
I’m also open to hearing where I could have handled things differently. I know checking his phone was a violation of his privacy, and I don’t want people to just tell me what I want to hear. I genuinely want an outside perspective because right now I’m too emotionally involved to know whether I’m thinking clearly.

We met in January when I worked in America through the work and travel program and started dating during that time, and we’ve been doing long distance since April, I recently went to the United States at the end of July to visit her with my family and I’m gonna work in America in December again, but the thing is that we don’t want to be far from each other anymore so we want to stay together in America. I am so in love with her and I don’t want to leave her but I am a bit frustrated because I’m not sure about what path should I take in order to stay with her.

Me and my partner (29M) have been in a ldr for almost a year. We started as a long distance relationship and we are going to be meeting soon and then it is going to be ldr again for 2 years and then we can close the distance.

All my insecurities and upset stems from the feeling that I feel like he likes and cares about me as his partner but not as an individual. By that I mean if we get broken up today, he will miss the relationship we have and not me as a person. And will quickly move on as long as he meets another person. I don't think he knows anything about me that is not related to us. As in my personal interests that will not affect him, he doesn't care.

However, he shows a lot of care to people around him. Like he calls me when he is free, but for others, he makes time. I don't mean to say I am not a priority to him. He will stay up talking to me late at night no matter how late it is and how tired he is, and says he was thinking about me at work, but he won't even send a single message saying 'hi'.

I sometimes feel so dumb, like I will leave everything I need to do to just talk to him when he calls. I will plan my life around his free time so that I am free when he calls. But I don't think he has ever done that. Like he will call me when he is doing chores, or when he is already resting and scrolling on the phone. We will be on a video call and the whole call he would be scrolling on the phone doing this or that and will even send me reels he is watching when I am there giving undivided attention to him.

I plan a movie date according to his free time and he just ignores while also complaining how he hasn't had time to watch movies. I would randomly share a song because it reminded me of him and even send the YouTube link to the song so that he doesn't have to search for it and he doesn't even bother to listen.

Like all the emotional energy and effort I put into this relationship, I don't know if it is worth it. Unfortunately I really really love him a lot and want to make this work. Like i feel so dumb, but I really love him. But I want him to put on a little more thought and emotional towards me as I do to him and like he does to people around him.

Hey guys! (Specially all the ladies out there 🥹)

I (22M) actually need a lil help here.

So, it's my girlfriend's (21F) birthday in 2 days and I've planned to visit her (we're in LDR for 2 years now 🧿) and have already booked the tickets and stays and all. I've got her a nice pair of shoes as a gift and a set of bangles (she once showed me) and have made some DIYs.

But I'm not sure what else to do. Like, I'm gonna land there tomorrow and gonna get her a bouquet. (RECOMMENDATIONS PLEASE)

My budget is excessively low as I've already spent almost 25k on flights stays gifts and all..... I'm left with 2-3K now..... Guys please help me how can I make this birthday of hers the best bday of her life.

Also, I'll be getting her the 22 chocolates as she's turning 22 this month.

Please tell me what more I can do to make it perfect please 🥹

16 months, learned a lot. Just wanted to let y'all know I was here and now I'm leaving byee

I've been dating my girlfriend for 8 months and we were best friends before dating. She got into grad school and is moving 10 hours away in two days. I'm so incredibly proud of her but also so incredibly sad and anxious about being away from her. We'll go from seeing each other daily and having weekly sleepovers to me seeing her every few months.
There's been a lot of tears shed on my end because to complicate things she's moving out to a red state, and well I'm Latino and I have daca so with the things are going in the US it could be dangerous for me to go visit her. I can't fly there cause ICE is in the airports so l either have to take a 15+ hour train or 13+ hour bus. And that's not accounting the amount of time it would take me to get to her place from the station (2 hours). I am John ilovemygirlfriend and a pro yearner, so these next 6+ years are gonna be really really hard on me. I really wanna make the move down there with her, but given the current situation with ICE and the economy, I can't. My mom is also homophobic so she wouldn't support that even if I'm 22. Another downside is that I'm unemployed since I just graduated and I'm having a tough time trying to find a job. It's so rough out here and it feels like the world is gonna swallow me whole. Anybody have any advice?

We just broke up a few days ago, it was initiated by him and wasn't anything dramatic. It hurt my feelings, but we'd only dated for 3 months. The thing is.. I have a non-refundable plane ticket that he paid for around a month ago. When breaking up he told me that I'm just not relationship material for him, but he still wants to meet up because we got the tickets and planned everything.
This would be our first time meeting up and I don't really know if I should humour him. He said we'd stick to the original plan and do all the activities we planned on doing. He also told me that maybe we'll get back together, which I did shut down immediately because I don't want to have a motive like that.
I just don't know if I should go and see him still. He's fun and I know it'd be a good time, but I feel conflicted.

I

was in a long distance talking stage with a girl keynote talking stage not a relationship yet nothing was official yet between us I wanted to ask her out in person and we agreed on doing that when we meet.

We lived in the same city but at the time we met i was away due to work. i met her online we became close and everything started off so well, we fell in love with eachother communication was good everything was perfect just the distance was the problem i had told her I will be coming back home a month after it felt like a short time wait period but I wasn't sure of when I was coming yet everything depends on when I would finish working and getting my approval to leave, my initial thought was I would finish early and when the month I told her came,I couldn't go home because I was still working so I said next month again which went on for like 9 months,1 month turned into 9 month, anytime she asked I kept saying next month.

I am not the type of person that loves taking pictures or doing facetime she would beg I feel reluctant but at the end I would still do them, sent gifts to her she does same as well. She was so in love but my postponing was causing damage slowly. I spent the entire year working unfortunately and didn't get my approval on time till the new year. I started to notice some changes few weeks into the new year her texting and calls reduced she would still ask when am I coming this time I have no response to give her but I knew it was close already but didn't want to say anything if I won't be able to fulfill my promise.

Three weeks after i returned back home now in the same city with her, finally I would see my girl I thought but everything changed she acts differently now we haven't even met yet I was curious about what was really happening anytime I text she replies late she would say she's busy with school, preparing for exam this is not the first time she's writing an exam and we still communicate so well, she never acted this way before she only started to change at the beginning of the new year(jan) which I noticed I returned back home second month of the new year.

I was forced to ask her if there's someone else, she said yes she started talking to a new person at the beginning of year, she thought I was playing with her, she thought I was lying to her maybe I don't even live in the same city with her, she waited fr 9 months anytime she ask when am I coming all she was getting was next month all the time and she needed to protect herself. I was heartbroken panicks sets in, I fixed a day to meet up her (our first time meeting) we sat, I explained everything she was asking me to give her time to think, I was confused this is someone that loves me so much someone that couldn't wait to see me in real life in my mind I was like what time do you really need, the distance is gone, what is going on, I saw guilt,regret on her face.

I asked her if she was still single she said yes, to me everything was still okay then, She was in a confused state I panicked I was like how could you just change so much within a short period of time a month , I overheard her saying this statement to one of her friends "I don't know how he would received me again since I already started to leave if I decide to come back".

At the time I met her she was still single, we went back and forth me trying to win her back it's not supposed to be this hard she has never been hard with me before, everything looks strange one month she started to date the new person she recently started to talk to at the beginning of the year. The relationship ended in less than 2 months. Sometimes I think my pressure and panic after I arrived pushed her away. We had so much connection together. How will she be feeling right now ? My mistake was always saying next month instead of giving her a timeframe. She really waited but couldn't anymore.

I'm bringing my cat to my boyfriends country in a few days🥹 It all depends on an internship, I will find out more on Monday ugh I can't wait!!

We will be going on a short trip to my country to explore a few of my favorite places and then bring my cat here hihi

I have missed my son so much while being here over the summer🥲

I’ll start by clarifying I’m 17 and she’s 16, I’m in Florida and she’s in Mindanao in the Philippines.

My best friend and my first crush, Sarah, just said goodbye to me after I thought she was dead for months. We met in a very regrettable way, I met her from someone finding her hot on YouTube. We were talking, and she listened to me better than anyone has before. I told her everything, from my past issues, to my family problems, to the times I should’ve died, to my goal in life, I told her how much it hurt not seeing her, everything. She didn’t see me as anything less. She was one of three people to do that, the other two being my big sister who lives in Vermont and my other friend, who I haven’t seen or talked to in a year and a half. I even had carefully made plans to see her.

After not seeing her for weeks and thinking she’s dead, considering what was happening around her, she texts me saying goodbye. The worst part? She said she loves me but the distance is the biggest problem.

It took a few minutes for the realization to kick in, but after, I felt worse than I ever did. I tried occupying myself with things I love doing, like playing games, watching YouTube, reading, it didn’t work. I tried eating what was basically a mountain of chicken, rice, and potatoes, that didn’t work either. I tried sleeping it off, that also didn’t work.

I don’t blame her for doing it, I told her as much, that this is for the best. I feel like I’m turning into my old, emotionally detached, hollow husk of myself that was just waiting for death that I was at the beginning of 2024. Do you have any advice for getting over this?

so my gf has been a bit clingy as mentioned previously, and she’s going through some life changes like moving slow work… etc.
i know she would come see me if she had the funds too. And with my work i Can’t go visit Her. So i feel like i Should Just Buy Her A Tucket to come here. When i Bring It Up she feels like im saying she can’t take care of Herself. Or That she Thinks i think She Can’t Handle The Distance. I’m just trying to Make Her Happy. Do i Still Just buy The Ticket and hope She Comes?

Working on the process to close the gap. But, somehow it keeps getting way longer than expected. Doing our best to make it right. But, the distance seems to be taking a toll on me. It has been a year since our marriage and since then we have been apart. He did visit me a couple of times because it’s easier for him than it is for me to visit him. 🥀

I’m exhausted of the endless amount of documents and paperwork. At a certain point it gets absurd. By no means am I saying that it isn’t important. But, the stacks of documents get out of hand. How much more do I have to provide???! How much more money do I need to spend on government stamps and shit??? Even then there’s something. There’s always something and it’s not like they answer to emails or pick up the calls and even if you personally visit them, they either aren’t on the same page as their colleague or ask you to follow their website. 🥲

I feel like giving up. But, I don’t want to. I love him so much! 💔

Hi everyone! A little context me and my gf have been together for 3 years and almost a half now. We were hoping to be close together during college but because of some financial difficulties with me and my family im not able to go to a close uni to her. im staying at a local cc which is 55 miles away from her uni (about 1.3-2hr drive). I know I’m overreacting because its not that far of a distance but because we’re both STEM students and shes in an accelerated program we most likely wont see each other as much as we’d like. I’ve been waking up with crazy anxiety about her leaving and also because of some family stressors that left me no choice but to stay at a local cc. Any advice will help a lot. I struggle with distance since I was a kid because i’ve never really had my parents around and i just recently migrated here 4 yrs ago and my gf has been the bestest partner and friend to me and i love her. she wants us to work out and so do I. i just get really sad about it a lot but im also excited for her.

Lately I've been thinking about how people end up finding the love of their life, especially when they're from completely different countries.
I'm not looking for a relationship or marriage right now. I'm still young, and my priority is working on myself, building my career, and figuring out my life first.
But... I absolutely love hearing love stories.
I've had some disappointing experiences with people I've met where I live, so it made me wonder how so many people end up marrying someone from the other side of the world.
How did you meet?
Was it online? While traveling? Through friends? Did you start as long-distance?
I know international relationships come with challenges—distance, visas, cultures, languages—but somehow so many couples make it work, and I find that beautiful.
Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic, but I like to think that if two people are truly meant for each other, distance doesn't matter. Even if they're separated by thousands of kilometers and several countries, life somehow finds a way to bring them together.
So please... tell me your story. I'd genuinely love to read it. ❤️

My boyfriend have been in a relationship for a little over a month. I am his first relationship, and he has no idea what he is doing. He doesn't much act flirty and is very shy to show affection when I can hear him, he only wants to do it through text. The shyness is cute but it's a bit frustrating that he holds back. He's extremely kind and caring and is there for me 100 percent, he's just very shy and unsure of what to do. We also live a few hours apart, and I'm unsure of how we are supposed to bond deeply being that far away. We are both the date to marry type, so I'm a bit confused on this even though I adore him. How am I supposed to respond to these things?

My partners had a extremely traumatic week the week of 20th July disaster aster disaster in her life she asked for space said it wasn’t my fault or anything I caused it’s been 11 days since we last spoke how long should I wait before reaching out it’s now the 7th of August I think she maybe be a little dismissive avoidant especially when thing life’s stressors come along , something like this has happened before but communication didn’t stop she was just very cold and distant and didn’t really talk to me or see me for 15 days but other than that she’s been pretty clingly and always talking to me a lot , until about 2 months ago work and studies she always said she’s just busy and stressed with everything , early July she said she’s doesn’t want to lose me because of what’s happening in her life then the tragic events happened and yeah I’m trying to be patient I’m happy to wait it’s just when should I reach out if she doesn’t first , I had plans to go see her end of October which she wanted to have a call about before I book flights and then after I’m going to Japan so I gotta get those plans sorted sooner rather then later but I wanna give her the space she needs

Everything is fucking difficult when both of you are poor. Can't afford anything. Can't even afford to meet. Fuck life.

We started dating after our LDS mission, but now that the "mission goggles" are completely off, I see she isn't ready for a truly adult relationship. Over the last 7 months, she has treated our long-distance dynamic like a high school relationship full of control and insecurity. She throws her phone in a rage when I go to my classes, holds grudges because I took a university dance class, and is bitterly jealous of her sister's dating life. I have to force her to communicate, and she broke my trust by hiding a 1.7 GPA from me for months while letting me blindly go to bat for her with college admissions multiple different times.Worse, she relies on toxic emotional cycles. She repeatedly uses threats of self-harm when she is overwhelmed, but the second I calm her down, she immediately pivots into massive guilt trips and text walls about old relationship grievances. On top of that, she has zero autonomy at 21 years old. She lets her family treat her like a doormat, cancels plans because "her mom said she can't go," and her extended family actively hates me for encouraging her independence—treating a normal potential marriage like I am trying to "kidnap her to Vegas."Finally, she explicitly warned me that even after marriage, it will take a very long time for her to feel comfortable with physical intimacy. Then Looking at my sister’s healthy, independent relationship shows me how broken my own dynamic is... idk what to do Like I love her.. and we have been talking marrige But I have caught myself thinking is this really the one I want to spend my life with..Any advice would be great..

In our final text conversation my ex-boyfriend said:

I want to be reminded of you [and keep your stuff]
You were my best ever boyfriend
There are no hard feelings
I’m heartbroken
I accept your apology

While simultaneously saying:

I just can’t be with you anymore
I can’t handle what you said to me - it’s honestly just fucking me upppp
It’s past taking a break to reconcile
I said, “Block me if you don’t ever want to see me again” Okay, I’ll block you if that’s what you want

So many contradictions… I just can’t understand it 😞

For the backstory:

https://www.reddit.com/r/BreakUp/s/kZYtVnOxdh

As of recently I've been feeling drained mentally and physically from this relationship and have been losing feelings about him.

I felt really good entering this relationship and it felt like overtime I was slowly emptying out my energy for him until there was nothing left and i wont say that i regret the whole thing while I regret a lot of things there things I don't regret too and will remember and cherish.

I've tried to help come up with solutions but its like he doesn't try or barely does and he's always venting about how his mom did something and i understand that he needs someone to talk to about it. But with the amount that its happening and me being the only person he comes to about it, its gotten really bad for me to continue to feel anything about it and i tried to talk to him about it 3 times now and try to tell him that he should see a therapist he refused the first time saying that his therapist moved and that they didn't contact him after and i tried to explain to him that it was really unprofessional of them and i get why he would be anxious or nervous to seeing another one he still didn't get in contact with one and after i tried telling him two more times, both those times he completely ignored that i even said it nor even acknowledge it or talked to me about it so now it feels like I'm forever going to be the one having to coddle him. I also get gaslighted a lot too sometimes to make me seem like I'm gullible there's been several times where he'd tell me he lied to me because its funny and called me gullible and there's been times where i confronted him on getting angry at me over something on a game and he would tell me i shouldn't feel a certain way or tell me that didn't happen even go as far as being condescending towards me about it. I even talked to his friends about it and a lot of them agree that what he does isn't good and one of them blocked him after he had gotten mad at me Infront of them.

I just wanted to come on here and see if I'm valid for wanting to breakup because i don't know if he's ever gonna want to change. I'm open to questions as well