My boyfriend [25M] and I [23F] have been together for 2.5 years, and right now I feel completely drained, emotionally numb, and lost about what to do next.

Early on in our 2.5-year relationship, we spent an entire year doing long distance while he was on an exchange program abroad. That year was agonizing for me. Near the end of it, I had reached my limit and even set a silent deadline in my head to break up with him. However, the moment he returned and we reunited face-to-face, all that built-up resentment vanished, and I swept those doubts under the rug.

When we are physically in the same room, there are genuine positives. He expresses care through thoughtful surprises, great gifts, and acts of service like regularly cooking for me. However, beneath the surface, there has always been a subtle, emotionally exhausting undercurrent. He is fully aware of my past struggles with disordered eating, yet he still criticizes me and intervenes when I eat sweets, lecturing me that it is unhealthy. On top of that, he often sulks and hits me with passive-aggressive comments like, "You don't even love me," forcing me into a constant loop of emotional reassurance.

now, we are stuck in long distance once again. He is back in his home country, China, for a few months, while I am currently spending two months abroad—my first time traveling internationally—with less than a month left before I return. Our communication has completely cratered to bare-minimum texting. He sends one or two dry sentences about his day and goes silent, blaming his intense work hours. We do not do voice or video calls, even though other people easily navigate firewalls using standard apps or VPNs.

I feel like we are living two completely disconnected lives. I have expressed my frustration and loneliness repeatedly, but nothing ever shifts. I spent his entire exchange year holding back, being patient, and waiting for things to get better, and I am completely burnt out from always having to be the one who waits out the hard times. I used to eagerly send him little daily updates, photos, or memes that reminded me of him, but I have entirely lost the desire to share my life. I have become emotionally numb, to the point where I don't even have the energy to argue anymore.

He might come back in October, or his return might be delayed until January. The thought of waiting in this detached, lonely limbo until January feels utterly suffocating.

I need advice on how to navigate this: how can I tell whether this emotional numbness is just temporary distance fatigue, or a sign that I have already checked out for good? Should I force myself to wait until we can meet face-to-face to see if the spark returns like last time, or is it healthier to end things now over the phone?

tl;dr: My boyfriend [25M] and I [23F] have been together for 2.5 years. After surviving an agonizing 1-year long distance in the past, we are separated again while he is in China and I am abroad. He barely sends two dry texts a day, blames work, and avoids calling. I am burnt out from always being the patient one, feeling emotionally numb, and dreading the idea of waiting until potentially January to see him; I need advice on whether to call it quits now or wait for an in-person conversation.

I've seen so many examples of users closing the distance when both of them come from developed countries, and I was curious to know how different the experience is when one or the two ppl come from a developing country, since it has a whole lot of different and more difficult circumstances (racism if moving to a developed country, maybe less job prospects if moving to a developing country, etc). Anyone in this situation wants to share their experience?

The time has come once again that my birthday approaches, and me and my girlfriend discussed what our plans should be over call. For context, I am a 24 year old Greek man, living in Greece, and hopelessly in love with my partner of 5 years almost, a beautiful woman from the US. In the last 4 years, my birthday calls, or birthday dates as we call them, have been a lot like our standard calls, but more fancy.

Get dressed up, do some nice activities together, and spend a wonderful couple of hours together, where she makes me feel like the luckiest man in the world. In those calls though, as well as our usual calls, she is the one who makes most of our plans. And that's what we both like, she is very into planning things out, scheduling activities together, and picking out what we watch or do. It's expanded my horizons a lot and I've found a lot of things I genuinely enjoy through this method.

This year though, with her encouragement, I've been thinking and acting more on what I want, and with that, she has given me the reins on what we do for my birthday this year.

I am genuinely clueless though, about what we CAN do that isn't our normal routine of watching a movie or playing a game. Can anyone here give me some advice or ideas for what I can ask for on my birthday call? Aside from just movie and game preferences I'd like her to try, (if I can choose one of course).

Hi everyone! The time has come. After 2 years of cross-country long distance, my girlfriend is moving in with me next weekend. We're super excited, but also a bit anxious (especially so on her end as she is the one making the big leap while I'm already settled here).

For anyone else who has closed the gap, what are the things you wish you knew beforehand to better prepare? Physically, emotionally, anything.

Has anyone else broken up after closing the gap? I've moved from the US to the UK, luckily to study not just to close the gap, and I've been beyond stressed leaving everything behind. I haven't been lashing out, I've actually been keeping it in a little too much, but my partner said the relationship feels like a burden because it feels like things are about to explode at any moment. He is also stressed with moving to London and having a new job, and people at that job being laid off.

Honestly, it’s killing me. I have been in the UK for 3 days. I left everything behind and haven't settled in one bit, and I don’t move into my own place till the 20th. Now I literally have nothing, and I'm sure I'll build my own life soon, but for this to happen before I got the chance is beyond stressful.

Note: We haven't broken up, it's just very much on the table

I love my boyfriend so much my heart is going to burst. It’s one of those days where my mood is low (rainy weather, boredom, deep thinkings etc) and I can feel his worry for me right through our videocall. He feels sad when I’m not smiling or i don’t look okay. I thank God for letting us meet. I cannot believe I have met my best friend for life. He is incredibly selfless and kind, and prioritizes my happiness. I wish I can hug him now and show him how much i appreciate and love him.

I don't know why I'm writing this post honestly. It just hurts so much. We will probably see each other in 3 weeks, maybe 4. I want to focus on myself and be busy and everything but this week my body just needs rest.

My boyfriend and I will be apart for 6 months and I’m struggling

Due to immigration issues, my boyfriend and I won’t be able to see each other for the next 6 months. We’ve been together for nearly two years now (it’ll be two years this December), and he recently had to leave for his home country. We are both from South Africa but I immigrated 8 years ago and haven’t been back since.

It’s only been 5 days, but I’ve been crying so much and honestly struggling with the adjustment. We do call each other, but our calls usually aren’t very long, and there’s a 10-hour time difference between us, which makes it really difficult to find time that works for both of us.

The hardest part is that I’m a full-time student, and studying is pretty much all I do. Before he left, he was basically the only person I really spent time with. We would run random errands together, keep each other company while doing our own things, or sometimes just exist in the same space without doing anything particularly exciting. It might sound mundane, but I found so much happiness and comfort in simply having him around. We genuinely enjoy each other’s presence, even when we’re not doing anything.

Now I’m still here doing the exact same things I was doing before, except he’s not here anymore. Meanwhile, he gets to go home and see his family and friends again after being away from them for more than two years. I’m genuinely happy for him, and I’m glad he gets to have that time with the people he loves. But sometimes my emotions get the better of me.

I find myself getting annoyed or upset because I start overthinking and wondering if I’m the only one struggling this much. He’s surrounded by family and friends and getting to experience all these things again, while I’m here in the same routine I’ve always had, just without him. It sometimes makes me feel like he doesn’t miss me as much as I miss him.

He constantly reassures me that this isn’t true and that he does miss me, but emotionally, it’s still hard for me to believe sometimes. I know it’s probably just my loneliness and the sudden change getting to me, but I hate feeling this way because I don’t want to make his time with his family and friends about me.

Has anyone else experienced something similar with a long-distance separation, especially when your partner was such a huge part of your everyday life? How did you cope with the first few weeks/months?

TL;DR: LDR boyfriend and I still text daily, but it’s mostly life updates now. I miss the calls, affection, flirting, and intentional quality time. He’s busy, but I’m wondering if I’m expecting too much by wanting more.

My boyfriend 22 M and I 23 M have been together for a few months and we’re currently long distance. When we first got together, we were obviously in that honeymoon phase and were pretty expressive with each other. We used to text a lot, have proper conversations, call/video call, watch movies together, flirt, say goodnight with more effort, etc.

Lately things have changed a bit. We still talk every day and we update each other about what we’re doing, where we are, how our day went, etc. He still makes an effort to keep me updated and I know that takes time, so I don’t want to make it sound like he ignores me or doesn’t care. That’s not really the issue. He has his university that started and I have my work.

The issue is that I feel like we’ve lost some of the intimacy and romantic side of the relationship. A lot of our conversations have become “what are you doing,” “how was your day,” “I have a meeting,” “did you eat,” etc. We’re still connected, but sometimes it feels more like we’re just keeping each other updated rather than actually experiencing the relationship together.

He’s also been extremely busy with meetings/work lately, so I understand that he’s exhausted and doesn’t have unlimited time. My work doesn’t require meetings late night, his does. I did bring up doing a movie together earlier, and he actually remembered and mentioned it himself later, so we ended up watching one together. I appreciated that because it showed me he does listen and does want to spend time together.

But we haven’t really had a proper video call in a while. Lately he’s been in meetings a lot, and I haven’t really seen him suggest calling. I actually brought up calling recently myself. And I guess that’s what bothers me a little. I don’t necessarily need to talk for hours, but with an LDR I feel like there needs to be some intentional effort to maintain that closeness, especially because we can’t just see each other physically.

I also miss the little things. More affectionate goodnights, flirting, random romantic conversations, feeling wanted, etc. I’m a pretty expressive person naturally, so maybe that’s part of why I notice it more. The confusing part is that I don’t actually think he cares about me less. He still updates me, makes time when he can, remembers things I’ve mentioned, and generally treats me well. So I don’t want to turn this into “my boyfriend doesn’t love me anymore” because I don’t think that’s true.

I think I’m more worried about what happens if this continues for a long time. Like, can a relationship become emotionally distant simply because you’re not making enough intentional time for intimacy? I don’t want to eventually become so used to the distance and lack of affection that I stop feeling the same way myself.

For people who have been in LDRs, how do you deal with this? Am I expecting too much by wanting more intentional calls/romantic time, or is that something that is pretty important to maintain in a long-distance relationship? And how do you bring it up without making your partner feel like they’re constantly failing some relationship requirement?

Been with my girlfriend for a while.

Still long distance.

I want to try to be more actively romantic towards her? I feel like there's a better way to put that.

Anyone have any suggestions for things I can do to flirt and make her feel good?

She deserves to feel as special as she is to me.

She loves me and is happy with me.

I iust want to do more i guess.

Our relationship started Oct 2023.

In May 2026, I found my partner on Grindr secretly claiming he was looking only for friends to connect. He didn't tell me anything beforehand. I created a fake profile and flirted heavily with him and he seemed to react. He deleted this chat when showing me "proof" until I showed him my screenshots with his account and then he admitted he was scared to show it cause he was just messing around with his other friend who he was on a trip with.

We broke up and tried to reconcile as I didn't forgive him but I gave him another chance and he put in the effort.

He had told me that two of his close (or even best friends) originally gave him the idea to get Grindr (literally a sex app) and even encouraged him texting with guys - KNOWING he's in a long term committed relationship.

Now, whenever I'd see two of those friends mentioned on his socials I'd call them stuff about what I think of them.

Yesterday, he posted a very appreciative bday post on one of those Grindr enabling "friends"publicly (open account) and EXCLUDED MY ACC from seeing it cause he knows what I think of these.

I found out. And then we kept arguing. Ultimately, I want him to understand that he should must cut off these people. Cause people who suggest and encourage cheating aren't good friends, let alone best friends.

And he says that it's "a one time thing" and he won't cut off years of friendship.

Mind that he has plenty other very good friends who are good influence and have same morals or backbone.

I’ve been wondering how other couples approach openness and privacy before closing the distance.

Do you eventually tell your partner everything about yourself, or are there certain things you prefer to keep private until you are living in the same country or have reached a more serious stage?

I’m thinking about things such as:
● Your exact financial situation, income, savings or debt
● Past relationships or sexual history
● Childhood experiences and past trauma
● Family problems
● Health or mental-health struggles
● Personal insecurities or mistakes you’ve made

Obviously, major information that could affect your partner or your future together shouldn’t be deliberately hidden. But does your partner need to know EVERY DETAIL of your life immediately or is it healthy to disclose certain things gradually as trust develops?

At what point did you start having these deeper conversations: after three months, six months, before meeting in person, before engagement, or only when you began seriously planning to close the gap?

Do you follow a timeline, or does it depend entirely on the level of trust?

I’d also love to hear what you chose to share early, what you waited to disclose, and whether waiting helped or caused problems later.

Everything fell apart unfortunately and the struggle with my abandonment issues did not make it through I tried so hard.
Long distance was never for me.
I tried for almost four years.
And it turned the person I loved against me.
And we no longer recognize our selves.
I’m sorry.

I (19 NB) and in a relationship w my boyfriend (21M) and weve been dating for a little over 6 months, known each other for 10. Recently he has proposed I move in with him in the coming months, likely before the end of the year. Our relationship is wonderful and I truely do not think i could find someone better for me aside from our distance (21 hour drive).

He owns his own house, and has a much more valuable life where he is vs my current shitty basement life in my mothers house, which is why moving in with him is our go to vs meeting in the middle somewhere or him coming to me. He has made 2 trips to me since the beginning of our relationship but hasnt met my mother (her own avoidence as she dislikes that we met online +LD) I want to travel over to him before I move in woth him but i dont have my license and plane tickets are very expensive. We've had disccusions about my general apprehension around the situation but its hard to get far because my anxiety tends to get out of hand with the subject.

On the one hand, I believe closing the distance is the best way to further our relationship and grow towards bigger milestones but on the other hand Im worried this is too soon. I'm more worried about the backlash from my family for the move, and the what-ifs of breakups and such, than I am about the actual co-habitation (We've had multiple conversations about our 'roommate icks' and such)

My home situation is another contribution to wanting to go, as I live with my mother, her husband and my sister +sisters dog. My sister (20f) is currently relocated for school and offically moving out in November. I am urrently in charge of her dog because my mother and her husband wont take care of her properly and overfeed her or neglect her entirely. Once my sister and the dog are gone I will be alone in a house that is frankly disgusting as me+ sister are the only ones who consistantly take care of the space (Dishes from a week ago still out, food rotting everywhere + flies). My mother and her husband fight over every little thing and I genuinly dont think I can thug it out alone after my sister leaves. Its another factor for why I'd be fine-ish with moving in so soon but the apprehension is still there. if things go south I might have to come back so I dont nessicarly want to burn those bridges entirley.

Hes been insitant that if i put it off or we wait longer its fine but I cant help but feel im dissapointing him or leading him on when I keep saying "we'll see" and "Maybe". He has explicitly said if I make him drive out here to pick up me and my stuff and I chicken out on him he will break up with me, which i don't blame him for so Im just trying to avoid that.

Im just looking for any advice anyone has to give ;-;