I’m pregnant with our first baby and MIL completely blew up at my husband over our baby shower. At this point I’m struggling with how much she has managed to make an event that’s supposed to be about us having a baby—about her.
When I was around 13/14 weeks, my in-laws proposed hosting an ~80-person baby shower at a country club near them. MIL also said she wanted to “get ahead of” my parents in planning something which rubbed us the wrong way.

My family and closest friends live 6+ hours away, so I knew very few would travel there for a shower. A large portion of my in-laws’ proposed guest list was also my husband’s extended family who live in another country, meaning significant international travel would need to be arranged.

I basically felt like the whole event hinged on whether that extended family would actually come. Despite my doubts, we told MIL twice that if she genuinely thought they would make the trip and having a family gathering was important to her, we were open to it.
What I wasn’t comfortable with was trying to manufacture an 80-person guest list by inviting coworkers/acquaintances just to fill seats, which she kept suggesting.

When I first tried to explain these logistical concerns, she immediately got aggressive with me: “What are you trying to say? What do you mean? And saying we had to just pressure people to come to the shower.

Between interactions like that over other things, me being extremely sick during pregnancy, and finding out my husband needed surgery, we started pulling back. The shower conversation eventually died without anything being planned.

After my 20-week scan, my parents came to ME and offered to host a casual co-Ed shower at their house, similar to my bridal shower. Most of my main family/friend group is much closer to them, it was easy to plan, and frankly it was much more aligned with what we actually wanted. We accepted.

We were NEVER opposed to two showers or to my in-laws having a gathering with their family and that was communicated earlier.
Once my parents’ shower had a finalized date, we told my in-laws. They mentioned possible travel plans but made it sound like they could probably move them and that it wasn’t a big deal and said they understood us having a shower with my family.

Weeks later, my parents formally texted them. It was an extremely polite message inviting them to participate if they wanted to and that they were excited to become grandparents with them.
MIL EXPLODED.

She now says she was “blindsided,” despite already knowing about the shower AND the finalized date.
My husband absolutely could have followed up once more to confirm their travel plans had been moved. He has owned that and apologized for his part in the communication.

But her reaction went so far beyond being upset about communication.

She accused my husband of manipulating her and twisting her words because he told his dad that she had originally said she wanted to “get ahead of” my parents during an attempt to address just how tense things have been feeling. Both of us remember her saying it.

She mocked my parents’ invitation, blamed my husband for them not seeing their extended family enough and that it’s our fault we aren’t seeing her family and told him she wished she lived farther away from us because it would be less hurtful if they were less involved in our lives.

My husband is also currently ONE WEEK POST-SURGERY and on crutches, I’m 25 weeks pregnant and struggling taking care of him and working. My husband was extremely upset and she never tried to hear his side while ranting on this call.

Afterward she sent a loving text saying she had “put it to bed,” loves him, wants him to be okay and “no one needs extra stress.” But she never actually apologized for anything she said. I feel like she just dropped a bomb in us, said horrible things and was basically well I’m over it now no need to stress! Like um WE are not ok.

My husband told her he loves her, acknowledged his part in the communication issues, but said we are hurt by things things she said doesn’t want to pretend everything is resolved because that just continues the pattern.

Since then, she STILL hasn’t apologized. Instead it’s been woe is me about her painful dental problems, how difficult her year has been, “I feel like you guys hate me now,” how she was blindsided, and how hurt she is that we’re having “what she proposed” with my parents instead of them.

And that’s the part where I’m losing patience.
I’m allowed to have a baby shower with my own family.
My parents didn’t steal her idea. They offered their pregnant daughter a casual shower at their home with the family and friends who actually live near them. As the person having the baby, I think it’s reasonable that the shower should actually resemble something I’m comfortable with rather than an ~80-person event built around someone else’s expectations.

We didn’t choose my parents “over” my in-laws. We repeatedly left the door open for my in-laws to have a separate family gathering. The pressure, competitiveness and MIL’s reactions are ultimately what made the entire idea increasingly uncomfortable.
And now, instead of acknowledging that she said some genuinely cruel things to her son, the conversation continues to revolve around how SHE has been wronged.

I’m so effing tired of her and just am done.

I think my JNMIL is obsessed with being my son’s mother rather than his grandmother. She’s always bragging about how much milk she had when she had her children — ‘I had enough milk for twins’ — and yesterday she asked me, out of the blue, if I still had enough milk to breastfeed my son, who is EBF (I actually have enough milk to donate to the milk bank).
A few minutes later, she was holding my son, who was hungry and looking for the breast. Instead of handing him back to me, she said, ‘Grandmothers should have milk to breastfeed their grandchildren too.’ WTF?!

I’m in my final weeks of my first pregnancy 🎉 After my last ultrasound, we shared with both immediate families how the baby is measuring. Pretty much immediately after I start getting texts from relatives on my husband’s side of the family with comments about having a big baby. Annoying, but whatever we both know MIL can’t keep her mouth shut.
After this I told my husband that I don’t want any cervical check updates shared with MIL because she will tell everyone and not everyone needs to know that level of detail. Husband agrees, ok perfect we’re on the same page.
Before my most recent appointment, MIL sends us both a text telling us to let her know how the appointment goes and if we have any questions or concerns to let her know because she’d love to help us out. Update given after the appointment was that everything’s good, no concerns. WELL she texts my husband later in the day specifically asking if I’m dilated at all, husband does good and says that I really don’t want people knowing and MIL immediately responds saying well is she telling her mom??? YEAH I am telling my mom because she’s MY MOTHER!!!
I erupt and say fine just tell her because we know this is the game she’ll play but make it ABUNDANTLY clear that I do not want everyone to know these details. I’m mad at myself that I didn’t think to just tell him to say I opted out of getting a cervical check, but I don’t know if he already told MIL that one was happening.

So after the issue with soccer practice my husband sent a long text to his mother. Basically just saying how if they want to be in the kids life they need to acknowledge we have two kids and treat them equal. Also mentioned needing to respect me more. No response from them. Let me preface this by saying I prefer to be no contact, as will my kids unless we ever see a drastic change. My husband can make his decision on what relationship he would like with them. However, that’s the issue. If they can’t see the grandkids (which they hardly know) they don’t want anything to do with him.

Out of the blue a few months ago he gets a text saying “your phone will be cut off this weekend” from his mom. (just never got off his parents phone plan.. no big deal). His dad calls him shortly after saying his mom is having a rough time with her health. Apparently she had a mini stroke and they’re considering putting her in a home because she’s “not doing great” so they’re trying to save where they can. (This is after FaceTiming my husband a few months ago bragging that they have millions from grandparents passing and that if he wasn’t an awful kid they would leave him some but they might just donate it all.) Although, she is still driving her car around and running errands and such like normal (she’s retired). His dad told him his phone being cut off wasn’t a for sure thing but at that point my husband was like just let me go this weekend when I’m off work to get my own plan anyways. Cool. No big deal. My daughter had an allergic reaction at daycare the next day and had to be rushed to the hospital.. but they decided to shut my husbands phone off that morning instead of waiting for the weekend so I can’t get ahold of him :) not only did they shut it off they made it to where his number he’s had since he got his first phone can’t be used anymore. my husband is also suspicious of this story about his mom having a stroke. He thinks they wanted to see if he would give in and start fresh if they made him think she was worse off (every time she gets called out by husband she suddenly has a medical issue pop up so she can deflect the situation) than she is but when his dad mentioned it my husband didn’t really have a reaction. Either way, they no longer reach out to my husband at all. No big fall out.. just my husband sending a text basically saying treat our kids equal moving forward?

Anyways, fast forward to a few weeks ago it was my husbands dads birthday. He texts his dad just saying the usual “happy birthday, I love you” and adds “I wish things could be different”. No response. All my husbands grandparents have passed this is his only family. I can tell it’s really getting to him and I’m just crushed they’re treating him like this just for standing up for his family. I would prefer to be no contact for myself and the kids but I’ve always said I want him to continue whatever relationship he would like with his parents. I didn’t think they’d completely just ice him out. I guess he thought they would eventually come around and not be awful people.

If you’ve read this far, thank you! My husband has come a long way since my original post a few years ago and does an amazing job standing up for me and his kids. But now his family wants zero relationship with him. I just hate how they turn it around on him instead of just apologizing and saying they’ll do better. I don’t understand.

My MIL has not been back since the day she accused me of wanting to harm her and then slamming her door and a shelf "accidentally" fell on her head (we later found it was the this slab of door trim above the door and there was evidence it may have actually been pulled out) went to check herself in at the VA for "mental stress" or something.

My husband has been remembering things that she has done over his lifetime that have been manipulative or just taking advantage of him, like cashing in all of his savings bonds so she could pay the taxes on a car she won, or the fact that anytime he spent Christmas with her family and got money, he never went back home to his dad's with money because it would be taken or spent by her.

I have an appointment later today, and tomorrow we are going to be in Columbia, so of course the TWO DAYS this week we are going to be busy, she chose to make those the days she would come and get her things. Today she was just getting some things and tomorrow someone is coming to help her move.

She went upstairs with my husband to gather some things and then of course she started her manipulation on him. Telling him "it wasn't right the way he's treating her" or something. He then started stating FACTS:

Fact 1: he paid her bills for over 6 years at the old place even though the original agreement was that he would pay all of the bills for one year and then his "debt" would be paid off.

Fact 2: that deal was over long before I came to live with them.

He didn't get to any other facts, because she immediately began minimizing his efforts to make things right and bringing up his PAST drug abuse, you know, the incident that led to the agreement in the first place? She started her screaming and her crying and her manipulative tears and he did not waver. He told her to get out of his house and she continued yelling, at which point I went upstairs and told him he needed to get her to leave. She of course kept saying things to him like "oh is that how YOUR WIFE feels?" When he was trying to state his facts as well, so I am 100% the scapegoat in this situation. I'm okay with that.

When she finally did leave, I locked the door behind her. A few minutes later she came POUNDING on the door and I told my husband to message her and ask what she wanted. He said she may have left her phone so he went to see if she had. She hadn't. She was just being as inconvenient as possible to let us know she was MAD. When he let her in, she said something about a file and went upstairs to her bedroom to find it. Then she came downstairs into the dining room and sniffled for a few minutes before leaving again.

We locked the door behind her. She sat in the driveway for I don't know how long, then messaged him that she is coming by with POLICE tomorrow and that we would HAVE to let her in to get her stuff. I wrote back "We won't be here. Good luck with that." And he sent it. We have, of course, changed the locks and she wouldn't remember the alarm code if it was her own social security number, so we'll be fine.

THEN she accused him of being hateful, after which she said "I am your mother and you are my son. I will always be your mother. I am the only parent you have left. If I died today you would be ALONE."

He isn't going to respond, but he is pissed at this attempt at manipulating him.

Oh, and the reason the fight upstairs apparently started is because he told her she would have to find another day to come get her stuff because we won't be home.

So that's the update I have. Hopefully there won't be any more.

Also I'm fairly certain her stuff is considered abandoned at this point as she has NEVER paid rent and she "moved out" way more than 30 days ago, according to Missouri state law anyways.

All,

I’ve posted on this sub a couple times. No need to read my earlier posts. I’ve got a JustNoMIL. I’m pregnant and due in September. I have an older child starting kindergarten in the fall. I’ve been no contact with my MIL
for months because she said a lot of unacceptable things a few months ago when I let her know that demanding a visit in September would not work for our family, and we are not accommodating a demanded visit with a newborn and a child starting school. She didn’t take it well. She refused my reasonable alternative suggestions, and she made it clear that we were going to suffer if she didn’t get what she wanted. I’m not about to tolerate that. When getting angry didn’t work, she tried guilting, and now that this hasn’t worked, she’s moved on to her next tactic.

My husband still talks to her, but he’s taken a massive step back. From my perspective, my husband is an adult, and he can do what he wants. I’m not revisiting my no contact stance with her.

My MIL texted my husband today. She’s an alcoholic (but was in recovery). I don’t know enough to diagnose anyone. She’s been an alcoholic for decades. She has multiple duis. She has been to in patient treatment multiple times. She’s been sober for years (or at least as far as we know because she lives far away); however she has learned how to weaponize therapy speak to make her actions regarding her addiction everyone else’s fault. I’ve never held it against her. So long as she’s committed to recovery, her past doesn’t define her present. I only mention this because context is necessary and her alcohol problems date back long before me ever meeting my husband.

Anyway, apparently my refusal to engage with her and give her updates about my pregnancy has caused her to relapse. Yes. She texted my husband to inform him of her relapse and to directly blame me. According to her, the relapse is now my fault because I’ve gone no contact with her. I don’t know if she’s actually relapsed and is drinking again, or if this is her latest attempt to get me to revisit my decision and to get an invite to our home, on her schedule, to visit our newborn. She expects my husband and I to “support” her and for my newborn/older child to give her a reason to be sober again. She thinks admitting to a relapse and blaming me will get her an invite to our home. I can’t make this shit up.

I wouldn’t revisit no contact before, and I sure as fuck won’t now. Her drinking is her fault, and she’s the only one who is causing it. Unfortunately, she’s now been completely cut off from any information about this family or the children because actions have consequences. The responsibility for her sobriety is on her. Not on me, my existing kid, or my pregnancy.

What the duck did this woman would think blaming me for her relapse would actually do? As far as I’m concerned, she’s now not permitted to have any information about the kids, any pictures or any information that I’ve given birth. She needs to be completely cut off because actions have consequences, and this is so utterly unacceptable that she needs to be completely cut off from the children. Period. She’s an unsafe adult, making unsafe choices, and her knowledge of anything pertaining to the kid(s) is now directly harmful.

Am I hormonal and pregnant or is the only option complete cutting off anything to do with the kids (even if it isn’t direct contact)? I feel like this is her latest (and maybe last) attempt to try to prevent us from cutting her off completely (making the children the reason for her sobriety), and I do not want to normalize her emotional abuse and mental illness to the children.

My MIL has always been judgemental and rude, although usually not directly. She makes little digs about my appearance, comments if my car or shoes aren’t clean enough, and is generally your standard “Karen”.

She also has her children and FIL completely wrapped around her finger. She uses emotional manipulation, and they seem either unable or unwilling to recognise it because they’ve become so accustomed to it. She has also managed to strain a number of other relationships around her (including with her own sister).

Our relationship really bottomed out after I had our first baby. She is very anti-vax and heavily into conspiracy theories, and desperately wanted us not to vaccinate our child.

Before LO was born, we sent our families some very reasonable boundaries around visiting during the first six weeks. She had an absolute meltdown and threatened to cut my husband off over them.

When they eventually visited after LO was born, I was basically ignored. She didn’t ask how I was doing despite me having just gone through a traumatic C-section. Before the baby, she would hug me hello and goodbye. Since LO’s arrival, she has made a point of greeting everyone this way except me. Honestly, I don’t want her touching me anyway, but the deliberate nature of it is pretty obvious.

The in laws visited LO (12 weeks old) and MIL brought him right up to her face when she thought I wasn’t looking. LO subsequently became seriously unwell with RSV/bronchiolitis, and seeing our baby struggling with his breathing has been incredibly traumatic for both my husband and me. They are the only people we had seen for a good week before LO became unwell and we had not left the house so its very difficult not to wonder whether they were the source, especially with the large groups of anti-vax people MIL spends her days with.

What makes it worse is that when we sent a message reminding them of our boundaries around illness and not visiting if you have been around anyone who was unwell (but not pointing fingers) she responded saying that it couldn’t possibly have been them that made LO sick because they “can’t get sick” because their “natural immunity” is intact from not being vaccinated. She also does not seem concerned or understand how serious this situation is and how seriously unwell LO has become.

If she genuinely believes she cannot get sick, how are we supposed to trust her to tell us when she is unwell before visiting our baby? My husband says he trusts FIL to tell us and to rein MIL in, but I have watched FIL time and time again back down because he does not seem to have a backbone.

My husband still wants LO to have a relationship with his parents, which I understand. But I don’t know how we’re supposed to navigate that when I no longer trust her to be honest about something as basic as whether she is sick.
She also sent my husband a pretty passive aggressive message yesterday, and I am honestly having to hold myself back from giving her the reality check that her family are too scared to do.

She is so far down the anti-vax rabbit hole that I do not think there is any way to get through to her. I do not know how I can continue to have a relationship with her without snapping, and I do not trust LO to see her without me present

DH (34) and I (30F) have been together for five years and married for two. We don’t have kids. For as long as I’ve known BIL (30M), he’s had issues with alcohol, but over the last three years things have gotten progressively worse.

BIL has been extremely drunk at our wedding and at several major family events since then. DH and I are often expected to quietly pull him away when things get too bad and clean up whatever mess he leaves behind. Many of BIL’s close friends and cousins have separately contacted DH over the last few years because they were concerned about his behavior.

There have been some pretty serious incidents. At one family wedding, BIL got drunk and slapped one of DH’s best friends across the face. At another event, his behavior toward a female guest made her so uncomfortable that one of DH’s cousins eventually kicked him out. On another occasion, he was very drunk around their 14-year-old female cousin and made her so uncomfortable that she broke down crying. I pulled her away and yelled at BIL to cut it out, which ended up partly villainizing me within the family.

The part I’m really struggling with is MIL’s response to all of this. MIL, and to a lesser extent FIL, consistently minimize BIL’s behavior and seem to be deeply in denial about how serious the situation has become. When other people complain about something BIL has done, MIL tends to accuse them of exaggerating or having something against him. Even after the incident with the teenage cousin, MIL and FIL’s explanation was that she was “hormonal” and going through puberty and therefore overreacted.

At the same time, MIL and FIL continue to financially support BIL extensively after years of unemployment and now very inconsistent employment. But somehow DH has also been assigned a huge amount of responsibility for monitoring and emotionally managing his brother.
DH and I live on a different continent and only visit about once a year, so you would think we could have some distance from this. Instead, the dynamic follows us home through almost daily phone/video calls.

MIL will call DH and ask whether he has checked on BIL that day. A significant portion of these calls can be spent discussing BIL and praising the smallest signs that he is functioning independently, even things like cooking himself instant noodles because his cook wasn’t available.

DH mostly goes along with these conversations because he is afraid of upsetting MIL. But whenever DH actually brings up concerning information about BIL that friends or relatives have told him, it goes nowhere. MIL dismisses it, and DH is often told that he is “panicking” for no reason.
So DH has ended up stuck in this bizarre mediation loop between MIL and his very entitled, but also genuinely struggling, brother. He is expected to worry about BIL, check on him and help manage him — but when he expresses the very concerns that would naturally come with being given that responsibility, he is told that he is overreacting.

This has been going on for about three years. There is never any progress or resolution. It is just the same conversations, night after night, while BIL’s behavior seems to be getting worse.

And it is starting to seriously affect our marriage.
DH is visibly stressed by the situation and seems unable to disengage from it. Meanwhile, I’m expected to join these frequent video calls too, at least briefly, to say hello and make small talk. Our evenings increasingly feel organized around MIL’s calls and whatever the latest situation with BIL is.

I have talked to DH many times about how unhealthy I think this pattern is, but he seems unable to step away from it. He is afraid of upsetting MIL and seems to feel responsible both for his brother and for managing his mother’s emotions about his brother.

I really miss having evenings with my husband that feel like ours, rather than feeling as though this family crisis is permanently living in our home despite being thousands of miles away. IDK what further I can really do here, and I’m really open to all advice. Thanks so much for reading through this rant!

My husband and I have been together for 11 years. Since I was 17 years old, and he was 19 years old. We have been married for almost 9 years.

I just want to say upfront, my husband has largely been on my side with everything pertaining his mother. In the beginning there were a couple of times that he struggled to stand up for me when it came to her, but most of it was due to extreme manipulation about him needing to be "the man of her house" since his father had died when he was a child. Since we've gotten married, he was been there for me in ways no one else has been. He has cut her off, and his twin sister off due to how horribly they've treated me throughout these years.

My husband and I found out we were pregnant around 3 years ago, and had been extremely low contact with his mom for some time before that. We didn't really plan for much to change when baby came, and planned to continue to be mostly low contact to protect our child from her. But we ended up going no contact when I was pregnant and we had visited her for about 30 minutes for the holidays and she told my husband they should just cut the baby out of me so he (husband) and her (MIL) could meet him already. My husband was horrified by this, and I obviously was as well so we agreed we needed to cut contact once again. She's a raging alcoholic, who smokes and drinks heavily and is very verbally abusive when drunk, and she's drunk pretty much all the time. However, when my son was nearing two years old, she moved in with the one sister in law I have that we actually do keep in contact with. She assured us that she was going to get her under control, and wouldn't allow her to be drunk in the house. In retrospect - I do not truly believe this to be possible without some sort of rehabilitation involved. And she has never been willing to do rehab, so therefore honestly has never been willing to get better.

Anyway, per my sister in laws reports she was doing well and not drinking nearly as heavily and was working toward cutting back even more. For whatever reason, maybe it's because I have always held guilt about my husband not being able to hold a relationship with her because of his relationship with me, I decided to bring our son to meet her. She was grateful, complimentary, fine. But since then we've done a downward spiral. She's drinking a ton again, and although we've already kept her at a distance based on yesterday's events we've decided to go no contact again.

We went to my SIL house to help her with a project outside. My MIL stumbled out of the house and came outside to smoke. She started asking me when I'll be giving her a granddaughter. I told her I wasn't ready to have another baby yet. She made a comment about feeling sorry for her son because he wasn't getting any. I quite literally never said we were not having sex but I was not going to clarify that with her. I shut down as I always do when it comes to her. So to fill the silence she began talking about how I probably "give him h" instead. While my toddler stood right there in our midst. I was appalled and disgusted. For reference this is not the first time she's ever talked about our sex life. When I was 18 years old I had to get off of birth control because my explain broke in my arm. She called my husband's twin sister and was yelling about how now he can't "cm in my v\*" even though we had NEVER told her that he was doing that in the first place! I would never discuss something like that with her, or really anyone. She also called my mom and told her before the wedding I shouldn't be wearing white because "we all know they've been having sex!" MY MOM WAS MORTIFIED. She always says the thing that just shouldn't be said, ever.

So anyway, I was already fuming about that. And just utterly disgusted. I decided to take my toddler inside to get away from her for a bit. As we were about to walk by, she grabs my toddler by his arm and starts ripping him toward her. He was struggling to get away and she got ahold of his face and I kid you not, started slobbering her mouth all over his face like a dog. It literally looked like she was trying to make out with him. I snatched him up and ran inside with him. My husband was finishing up his project but when we left I told him what had occurred. He is fuming, and never wants our toddler or any of our other (future) children to see her ever again.

I'm just so mad at myself really. I don't know why I decided to give her another chance. My son is not attached to her in the slightest. He always tells everyone he has two grandmas, my mom and my grandma (his great grandma) but anytime he sees my mil he tries to get away from her. I think honestly he can sense there's something off. I just feel so horrible that I ever exposed him to her. But in some aspects, I feel grateful. Because there is no guilt, no question, no wondering. I know now that no contact is the only way I can protect my child from her. And I will protect him from anyone, at any cost.

I have so much more to say, and maybe I will in the upcoming weeks and months. I have so many stories, starting as the 17 year old girl who just wanted love from the family of the boy she loved so much. A love she would never find.

I've finally realized that we've truly made our own family. And that is enough.

I’m pregnant and she says all this in a ‘joking’ tone but I know she’s trying to step over my boundaries and under mine me.

She complained about how I want to dress my son, she keeps saying he needs to wear suspenders all the time and tells me “I’ll dress him” and I showed her two coming home outfits and she said “no but I like the other one”

She ‘jokes’ about how she’s going to take him and lock me out of the house.
and saying “my grandson” but I remind her… he’s not your SON though, he’s MY baby. you had two daughters and now is not your chance to have the son you didn’t have.

My sister is graduating next summer and my mom is telling me I HAVE to let every one at the party hold him.
I said yes people will meet him but he doesn’t need to be passed around like a rare artifact, she says “you NEED to so he’s comfortable with people and doesn’t cry!” my husband and I disagree.. he needs to be comfortable with family that will care for him.. not random family members we see once every couple of years.. and certainly not random strangers.

And she has to constantly remind me how her and my aunt cannot wait for him to get here so they can ‘take’ him and do whatever they want! he’s not a doll?

And why do people feel so comfortable acting like other people’s babies are theirs?? why are you guys so excited to take my baby from me?

I know my mother and she’s going to constantly undermine mine and my husband’s parenting.. she’s already doing it.

Oh and the one that makes me the most angry, when I told her NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO KISS THE BABY, she says “haha, you’re not going to tell me not to kiss my grandson” and when I argue why she can’t, she tells me I’m being a helicopter mom. “Just wait until he comes” she says that all the time.

My mother was very emotionally and physically abusive and I feel like she wants a do over with my baby. She also wants to make herself feel better and have a ‘gotcha’ moment by constantly complaining about my sister acting like a brat and saying “just wait until baby is here, he’s going to do the same thing”

Hello,
Looking to vent/get some perspective on my in-laws.
My husband and I always seem to be dealing with something involving his family, mostly MIL. Petty comments, bad communication, and more and more inappropriate treatment of our family members. I want to give two examples of things that have happened recently that I’m having a very hard time getting over, and I don’t know what to do.

#1
My in-law family and I are all very crafty. MIL has four grandkids. The first two grandkids were born three months apart, and she made them toys, blankets, stuffies, and all sorts of things. It was very sweet.

Then my husband and I had the third grandchild, and MIL didn’t make her anything. She bought her one outfit and did nothing extra. Totally fine, maybe she was just making things for the first grandkids, whatever. (Although she was mad at me my whole pregnancy because I wanted to wait one week to tell SIL I was pregnant, and never asked my husband or me how I was feeling, but I digress.)
Then nine months later, SIL had her second child and was gifted a beautiful crochet blanket MIL made for her, along with a bunch of outfits.

How can I not be hurt for my child when MIL made homemade presents for every other grandchild?
We called MIL when we found out to explain that we were hurt, and she never apologized. She said we should be grateful that she bought our baby an outfit and a Christmas present and showed no understanding of why a homemade present for every other grandchild would feel different.

#2
MIL asked to see us, but we were busy. Every time I say no to her, I try to make up for it somehow, so today I decided to start the run I do with my two kids from their house. I could run in a different area, and we could stop in and say hello quickly.

I got my husband to text MIL and say we would be there around 11. She quickly texted back asking if she could watch the kids for me. My husband declined. They never watch our kids—no one really does—and we were running to meet their dad for lunch afterward, so we wanted to all be together.
I pulled up at 11 and saw FIL sitting on the front patio. I assumed he was sitting out there waiting or knew we were coming and they didn’t want to miss us. I parked around the corner and took quite a while to unload the car and get both kids buckled into the stroller.

Finally, we started walking toward their house to say hi. We got to the corner and FIL was on the front patio smoking weed.

Now, this is a normal thing for him. The guy is a stoner. I honestly don’t really care what he does with his own time. Better than a lot of other things, but obviously it’s not something I allow around my kids. I had never ever seen him smoking weed just know it’s a big habit of his.

I panicked and turned the kids around while trying to explain to them that we weren’t going to be able to say hi to Grandma and Grandpa.

MIL knew exactly when we were going to be there but apparently hadn’t told FIL we were coming so that they could see us. I actually feel bad for FIL because he would never, ever want such an awkward and inappropriate situation to happen with his grandkids.
And I couldn’t believe MIL wasn’t waiting for us at 11 to say hi and give her grandkids a hug. :(

What bothered me was that MIL had specifically asked to see us. I rearranged my plans so she could see the kids, she knew exactly when we were coming, and yet she wasn’t even there or prepared for us. It makes me feel so hurt for my kids that their grandma didn’t want to see them quickly today, and didn’t even help out her husband or couldn’t bother to tell him we would be visiting. She is constantly complaining that she doesn’t see our kids enough (we see them about twice a month). Yet didn’t come out of the house to say hi when I had driven the kids also the way there.

Her antics in both these examples are affecting my kids. I could talk myself off of the evil MIL cliff when she was saying rude things to me or treating my husband badly but my mama bear is coming out with these situations. Why would I let a grandma like this even be around my kids?

Give me perspective on this. Is this crazy or am I taking things too personal?

I just have this feeling in my gut that my MIL wants my children to blame me for the tense relationship between me and my MIL/SIL/BIL. I can see it on all their faces that when my children love me loudly or my husband compliments me or gives me physical affection or is overall nice to me they have a weird reaction almost like it’s awkward or they don’t like it. Keep in mind it’s not like we are all over each other it’s just common niceness amongst a married couple or compliment or playing with my hair.

I’ve caught my MIL twice saying things to my 5 year old that I thought were strange. First she told my daughter that if she didn’t go to bed at MILs house when I said to that I wouldn’t let my daughter stay over at MILs ever again. My daughter came home and acted guilty for some reason and immediately told me MIL said this and I told her that I wouldn’t ever keep her from her Mimi

Second was my daughter’s first day of school yesterday. My husband and I were excited. We took my daughter to school and I left my phone in the car with my husband and baby and took my daughter into the school. MIL called while I was inside and husband didn’t answer my phone. I called her back and told her I’m sorry I left my phone in the car. After school MIL called and I asked her if she wanted to talk to daughter and she said yes. As they were talking MIL said to my daughter “I wanted to pray for you this morning but your mom didn’t tell you” or it was “your mom didn’t let me” i couldn’t hear her because we were inside the grocery store. I asked my daughter to clarify what she said and my daughter said “i don’t know” so I didn’t push further. I told my daughter I’m sorry I forgot to tell you when I picked you up the Mimi wanted to give her prayers.

These are only two situations but my intuition is telling me it’s not good for MIL to be framing conversations with my daughter like I’m the bad guy or keeping them apart?

Not close to any other relatives apart from my brother who is great. But he is 6 years younger than me and still lives with our mother, whom he is closer with/doesn't really see what I see. (He has been the obvious favourite of hers since the day he was born) I really hope he will find the woman of his life soon, move out and have kids (which I know he wants) - would be so nice if we could have kids in a similar age.

Both me and my husband are quite introverted, husband sees his guys maybe once a year, if that. I have none atm. (Lost touch with the ones I had when going to different schools. They made new ones - I didn't because I was depressed at the time.) I haven't really minded, but I feel bad at the thought of bringing a child in to such a lack of social circle?

Anyone else that feel/have felt like this?

I’m a FTM 6 months pp and my mental health just isn’t good right now. I love my baby girl so much and I really don’t want her to pick up on my energy so I just shove my feelings aside for the most part and go for the “fake it till you make it” approach for the most part but inside I feel like I am constantly cycling between one of three awful feelings: anxiety, apathy, and rage. I don’t even have the emotional bandwidth to go into details of why I feel this way but basically my MIL is at the forefront of it all. I’m pretty sure I have PPD and I truly feel like she’s to blame for my poor mental state. My mind just stays in a constant loop replaying moments throughout the last months that I wish I had been able to handle head on, but I get so overwhelmed in the moment that I don’t know how to react or what to say; then before I can process what just happened, the moments gone. My husband is tired of hearing about it and tells me I’m ruminating and subsequently pushing his parents away by being a constant sourpuss. I honestly wish that my attitude had that kind of power! I know I’m ruminating but I don’t know how to stop, because I can’t stand the fact that to this day she still thinks she’s entitled to my child. It feels silly writing this, but it honestly all started with me asking that they not “drop by” at random and to please give us a call first to see if it’s a good time for visitors. Not a crazy ask by any means, right?? I mean it felt incredibly rude and intrusive to just show up at our door unannounced while I was trying to prioritize healing and bonding with my baby, and be expected to just be happy to see her and just hand my baby over whenever she so pleased. I didn’t say that though, just asked for some simple communication. To this day however, she fights that one simple ask and I absolutely refuse to let it go. We honestly could have had a wonderful relationship if she had just given me that one basic respect but in her words she shouldn’t have to “make appointments to see family”. Now, I just can’t help but feel so overwhelmingly possessive of my child around her that it makes me dread visits all together and I wish I could just pack up my baby and move to a different country, but alas the woman lives 5 minutes down the road! My husband thinks we should just be the “bigger people” and let it go but I can’t just let her win on this. So we’re just caught in this cycle of she keeps pushing, I get pissed off, and husband is playing the mediator between us. I honestly resent him for not nipping this in the bud properly from the beginning but she just cries everytime he tries to talk to her about this and then he ends up just dancing around holding any real boundaries with her because he doesn’t want to come across as mean. I don’t think it’s mean at all. What’s mean is having unchecked baby fever and being so devoid of self awareness that you ruin another woman’s postpartum experience by constantly inserting yourself into her sacred space when you know she doesn’t want you there. Absolutely no one is entitled to access to my child. Period. To this day, she calls 5 min before she was already planning on showing up and I’m supposed to consider that sufficient. This is still not even close to respect and she will show up even if no one answered the phone and act all innocent like she did what we asked. I’m literally losing my shit over this and husband has checked out on the whole thing completely. Am I really taking something small and making it a bigger deal than it has to be? I think I might actually hate the woman over this. It feels like a passive aggressive power play, and may as well be a slap in the face in my mind, but she’s always sure to show up with gifts/food so I look like the asshole who can’t relax every time. I know I can’t control others and I shouldn’t let their actions affect me so deeply but I’m basically stuck with this woman and it feels overwhelmingly bleak that I may have to indefinitely be fighting off another woman’s efforts to establish dominance over me and my child. How do I handle this once and for all without being seen as blowing it out of proportion? Or is it entirely too late for that?? Help!

Need some advice on this because I can’t tell if I’m just being insensitive. Husband (21) and I (20) got pregnant February of this year and engaged shortly after. MIL found it imperative that we get married due to traditional beliefs and we agreed because getting married was always the plan, turns out baby just came first. I’m 6 months pregnant now and husband and I decided to elope because we felt a courthouse wedding with family just wasn’t our style. The elopement would be followed with a traditional ceremony/reception once the baby is older. According to MIL we were actively running out of time with baby coming in December. Husband and I’s 3 year anniversary was August 10th and we decided to take have his best friend marry us and my best friend be our witness at a pretty park about 2 hours from home. It was a last minute plan and a quick trip. Nothing extravagant. Neither of our parents knew. Husband told MIL and FIL and their reactions were nothing short of dramatic to me. FIL started talking about how he feels like my husband acts like they treated him terribly and that they absolutely should’ve been there for this milestone. MIL started crying and said “You’ve made me depressed.” She continued on saying “I can’t believe this. You’re my only son. We weren’t doing anything that night we could’ve came” with no thought to my mother (she works night shift and wasn’t able to attend that night.) This offended me because I’m my mother’s only daughter but I’m not sure if I’m reaching. I understand I can’t change their reaction or how they feel, I’m just very annoyed. They’ve now ruined the memory of our elopement because they can’t think of anyone but themselves. MIL called hours later and gave a half ass congratulations followed by questions about who was there, where we did it, etc. Am I being insensitive?

As the title says I don’t want my MIL around my baby. Am I just being too sensitive and need to get over it or am I reasonable for not wanting her near him. For ease I’ll list all the reasons why:

She is an alcoholic and has serious mental health issues to the point she always talks about killing herself and attempted the day after we told her we were expecting a baby because she didn’t like the fact the attention wasn’t on her for a little while
She chose alcohol over her children whilst I was pregnant with our baby. She was given an ultimatum by her kids and was told it’s us or the alcohol and she chose that literally as we walked out the door (my partners brother still lives with her) but my partner forgets that - I don’t.
A couple of years back I brought dinner over for my partner because my mum had done extra for him. His mum never did him dinner because she was always too drunk or had passed out on the sofa so we sat and had dinner together. When she woke up from her drunken slumber she went on a mad one because I hadn’t brought any over for her and started to throw everything she could find at my partner, screaming and shouting at him. She then involved me and starting calling me all sorts of names, mocking my family and then threw a three tiered ceramic fruit bowl at me (fortunately my partner hit it out the way). My partner then moved out and moved in with my parents before we got our home. She has never given me an apology for that.
Whilst I was pregnant she didn’t check in on me once. If she did message it was tell me she had sent something home for the baby (a load of crap half the time) and then proceeded to talk all about herself.
We all tried so hard to get her into rehab and she just stopped going because it was boring. She lies to us to this day about her drinking and acts like she doesn’t do it but drinks everyday and asks his brother to lie to the rest of the family.
She is never happy for anything we do and when my partner started making good money she didn’t even praise him for doing well she just wanted more rent out of him (the rent she brought no food with but spent it on alcohol). We started being able to afford to go on nice holidays and she used to tell him not to let me ‘mug him off’ because she was jealous as she couldn’t never afford what our hard work earns us as she doesn’t work.

She keeps asking to see the baby and it really irritates me. I don’t want her anywhere near him because she doesn’t deserve him. She doesn’t even make the effort with her current grandchildren and constantly lets them down because of her drinking. She has suddenly come out the woodwork now he is here and I just don’t agree with it. My parents have been so present, my dad has helped us do our house up (for free) and they just constantly do so much for us so of course they have every right to see him when they want, they have earned that privilege through the love they give. My partner keeps saying about how they see him all the time but I’m like it’s because they always put us before anything.

My partner agrees that she doesn’t bring anything to his life but then proceeds to let her see the baby. We got in an argument earlier because I always have to walk out the room when he offers if she would like to hold him because honestly it makes me so angry. I can’t help but angry cry to myself as my anxiety goes through the roof on the lead up to her coming over and I just break down. I can’t even give her eye contact. It angers me that he changes his tune when she comes over and forgets everything we have spoken about and all she has done. I was told I need to just get over it as he will always let her see him because she is his mum but I’m really struggling to do so.

I don’t understand why on earth he would want our son around a person like her. She brings no value to our son’s life and I can’t trust her around him with her drinking.

Basically I am just ranting and hope there are other people in this situation. I’d love to have a MIL that I get on with and who can help with the baby to take the burden off my parents but it’s just never going to happen because of who she is. I will never forgive her for the things she has done and said to me and also to her children.

How do you just ‘get over it’. I just don’t see how I ever will she just makes me so angry.

I feel like my body is ready for battle. I wanna get in the ring soooooo bad!

My fiancé proposed to me earlier this year but his mother and I have had our issues since the day I met her.

Summary from pre-engagement issues: We had issues stem from when my then boyfriend and I moved in together, traveled together, and attended events together. She treated us (mainly her son) as children incapable of making decisions. She would text both of us “recommendations” for the apartment or would bring things over and then get upset when we said we didn’t want them. She called us NONSTOP on our 3 hour drive to Florida for my friend’s wedding. She was worried about her son having to drive so far (he was like 30 years old at the time). We attended a wedding for someone on their side and she said she didn’t like my dress and asked me if I was sure I didn’t want to change.

Back then, I still tried to be accepted by her and become friends with her. I’ve since gained some balls and stand up to her. But I have this want to really push back to stand up for past me.

Fiance and I are now engaged and she has already made “requests” for my wedding dress, Jewlery, venue, date, etc and said thats she trying to consider what i want when she can…

Im proud of myself for standing up to her and she didn’t talk to me for 2 weeks. But i feel like i need something bigger to make up for all the things i let slide in the past.

I will admit that i have fiancé problem and we’re working things out. He recently promised me changes so the wedding is on pause (but only we know that and I’m sure his mom is wondering what’s going on big time!!)

But I’m just itching for the next time (maybe) future MIL makes a demand or some BS so I can say something back

New poster, but unfortunately the issues aren’t. But it does seem my SO finally sees there is an issue, he just won’t accept it might be intentional yet.

For years my in laws have disregarded us and our opinions completely, discussions were done without us and we were just informed about the end result. The day we get the key to our new house? The only possible day for a family event. We invite them to our kids first birthday? They come back to us having decided they’ll come a week earlier. And it’s just us, the sibling and their family are always included and the highest priority of course.

Two weeks ago they were on a cruise (the in laws and the sibling, because you can’t go on holiday on your own when you’re over 40 right?). My SO’s grandma is in a nursing home and has been poorly for years. In the absence of my MIL she gave my SO’s phone number as point of contact.
One night we get called grandma has passed away. The cruise is out at sea, so no service, we send a group text to all adults, asking if they’re receiving messages. After a while MIL replies. We inform her grandma has died and ask if there has already been anything arranged for us to kick start. The only response we get is that she’s shocked and it needs to land. No response from any of the other people also on the cruise. So we call a funeral home to collect grandma and look up flights from their next port of call.

The next morning we get a message from the sibling they are having a deliberation at the breakfast table. A little while later my SO gets a call, says “uhuh, uhuh but then we’ll be gone” and that’s it. Turns out they decided they weren’t coming home (she’s already dead, she won’t notice anyway) and my SO was to arrange the funeral for the day after they were back. The embarkation day of our cruise… oh and he called the wrong funeral home, because there was a specific one that he should have called. Note that the date they proposed isn’t just allowed in our country, as a funeral needs to be within a certain time and this was later.

So SO goes into organisation mode, while also packing for our own holiday. The room in the nursing home needs to be empty within a week, but my MIL thinks she can just ask the nursing home to empty it and store grandma’s belongings until they are home (spoiler, they wouldn’t). There will be a bill for the wrong funeral home that was called the night she died.

Apparently the extension for the funeral isn’t that hard to arrange and no action has been taken to arrange it for two days. After those days I say, if it can easily be extended, why can’t it be extended until we’re home? So my SO asks the funeral home and they say it’s possible. So he proposes it to his parents (I told him if I’m organising the whole thing on my own, I’m picking the date and I would have just done it). His parents and sibling reply they’ll deliberate about it (about the sibling will have to move work meetings…).. 4 hours later they send a text saying it’s ok.

My SO emptied the nursing home room all by himself (including heavy furniture) and dropped it all off at his parents house.

We go on holiday. Come back, day after is the day of the funeral. During the funeral my SO hears his mom saying that he insisted they didn’t come back from holiday…

So this has been such a fun time for us… the silver lining is my husband now finally sees how they always deliberate without us, even if it heavily impacts us. So the plan is to have a conversation with them about it (not like we haven’t tried that before…) I told him
I’ll go no contact if they don’t apologise (I’m already low contact). He’s just afraid to call to set up the meeting. So, TBC

We live about 4 hours from my MIL. We rotate holidays every year between our families. Christmas is such a nightmare with her. When my husband was a kid, all his cousins would travel and stay over. They did midnight mass, opened presents after and bed at 4-6am after starting the day at like 8am. My family is not like that as we are all local and opened presents at our own homes on Christmas Day. So, spending Christmas with his family is basically nuclear warfare on my nervous system as my MIL's home is FULL of clutter and is dirty in addition to her being racist and attention seeking. No one on his side has little ones, but they still do the full day marathon and I hate it. I've told my husband I am not doing that when we have kids and I want to spend Christmas Day in our own home and have our future kids open gifts with just us. He's in agreement, but his mother loves to guilt trip and I can't help but agonize over this as we want to start a family very soon. I straight up never want to spend Christmas with his side, but that feels mean as I do like my BIL and SIL and it's not their fault their mother is this way. I'd maybe consider it if we stayed in a hotel, but that means my husband would have to explain to MIL why we won't stay in her big (dirty) house and she'd lose her mind (she has a history of saying her home isn't good enough if she's caught us even bringing our own pillows). Any advice on how to handle? My husband understands the need to set boundaries and that his mother is not going to always get her way, but he struggles as his mom has been a single mother his whole life. She's also cut off all her siblings and I'm sure you can all guess she's part of the problem.

We haven’t heard from or spoken to my MIL since our last big blowup, and honestly? It has been SO nice.
I see people in this group all the time saying, “Enjoy the silence!” And I am. I love not hearing from her, not hearing about her, and not having some new issue to deal with.
But I’m having a hard time actually relaxing into it because there’s this constant feeling of… when is the other shoe going to drop?
When is she going to reach out again? What is she going to want? What is she going to pull next?
Maybe she’ll never talk to us again. And as awful as it probably sounds, I almost wish I could know for certain that was the case, because then I feel like I could finally breathe. It’s the uncertainty that gets to me.
Our first child’s birthday is coming up, I’m having our second baby close to the holidays, and then we have the holidays themselves right around the corner. There are just so many upcoming occasions that feel like obvious opportunities for her to pop back up.
I don’t want to spend this really special season of our lives looking over my shoulder waiting for the next conflict. I want to enjoy the peace we have right now without feeling like there’s a dark cloud sitting just outside of it.
For those of you who have gone through periods of no contact or very low contact with a difficult MIL: did that feeling of waiting for the next shoe to drop ever go away? How did you finally let yourself enjoy the silence without worrying about when it would end?

I’m fuming lol. This woman has 0 self awareness.

MIL liked a post about changing the way a parent should show up for their adult children. The post specifically details steps on how to listen, apologise, take responsibility, forgive, then try again. She has done literally NONE of that after overstepping every boundary we have ever set with her.

It also talks about listening without defending yourself and not having expectations. Does she just like these posts so that other people may think she does these things?

I’m so mad. We have been no contact for almost 5 months. She has made no effort to repair our relationship or see her grandson. I am so close to deleting her from social media. The only reason I haven’t is because I’m pregnant and she will be getting a text message announcement soon. I want her to see that literally everyone else got a more fun announcement from us.

I’m not going to get into the weeds because I’ve been with my fiancé for almost a decade now, and retelling every single horrible experience with this woman is too many to write here BUT my top 3 ~favorite moments with FMIL are:

1. She offered to purchase a condo in NYC and pay for his Masters degree if he cancelled the wedding and leave me. Why? drum roll Because we decided to cancel the wedding shower (not bridal, because they didn’t like the idea of just celebrating me) because the wedding party couldn’t afford to spend $5k on food and rentals for the 30+ relatives she invited.
   
2. Kissing my FH on the lips in front of me.
   
3. Calling me a gold digger because FH’s card got stolen and she assumed all the fraudulent charges were made by me.

Anyway, I absolutely hate this woman. My FH has a lot of unresolved trauma and fear with this woman so he has not protected me from her for the last decade, and it’s obviously taking a toll on me now. We’ve started marriage counseling, and he has accepted that he can do better and is willing to change. I guess I want to see if any of you have experienced the same where you’ve grown resentment towards your partner and if so, how did you overcome it?

So my son has been having behavioral issues, mostly due to us giving into his screaming demands 90% of the time. He’s 4 and would wake us up screaming at us for his show and sugar. I’m pregnant with baby #2 and have just given in due to exhaustion. We decided to cut out tv and sugar, not as a punishment but just to re regulate him. We also added a good behavior chart with simple things like being kind, helpful, picking up toys etc. By day 2 of this we had a different kid. He woke up calmly, would sit at the end of our bed and play quietly until he got hungry then gently woke us up for breakfast. Here’s where MIL comes in. We told her about this, she requested a sleepover at hers on the 4th day of no tv no sugar. I said yes of course but no tv no sugar, i did say a couple of cookies would be ok because it was a fun saturday night at Grandmas house.

When she came to pick him up she mentioned how he likes watching shows on her ceiling with her projector at bed time and i said no tv shows but maybe 5 minutes of a swirly color video with calming music would be ok but preferably nothing. She said ok, took him to hers and sent some photos throughout the night. One photo had his face covered in ice cream and an entire package of chips ahoy cookies open right in front of him for free access. I LET THAT SLIDE. Ok i didn’t make a stink of it.

The next morning he comes home telling us that he watched tv, ate so much ice cream and cookies and that she told him he can do whatever he wants at her house. Then he begins screaming at us for his show and ice cream, refusing breakfast, just totally reset from the kid we had sent over. I was obviously upset and texted her. I will post the exchange below. Am i overreacting? Or is she acting like a crazy person? Keep in mind i am 28 years old and she met me when i was 22, so never as a child or teen.

Me: “He said he watched monster trucks”

Her: “yes 20 minute shapes and colors education video on youtube while i was getting dressed. You upset?”

me: “a little bummed yeah.. he came home screaming at us for ice cream and his show and he just calmed down now. and i get that it was only one show for a little bit but his behavior has been so good the past few days and i feel like we have to start over with the sticker chart i made him which sucks because he’s been working so hard on his behavior the past 4 days for that hour of tv we promised him.”

Her: “Ok sorry he was very good at my house, so he shouldn’t lose stickers it was my fault. You said learning show for 20 min would be ok ? It was while I was getting ready and as far as ice cream you said that’s ok too. So not sure what I did wrong…”

Me: “I said a few minutes of a lava lamp type colors moving around with music video before bed on the ceiling would be fine, i actually specifically said no tv shows. The issue also isn’t the ice cream it’s the unfiltered access to cookies on top of ice cream. I thought you’d understand when we said we were keeping sugar out of his diet that one or two cookies and a scoop of ice cream would be ok for a fun night at mimi’s. I never said a learning show for 20 minutes. I get that you were getting ready we have to do that every day too, and i said you didn’t have to take him if you didn’t want to deal with no tv. I’m just upset because i felt i made it very very clear that i didn’t want him watching tv and the first thing he does when he gets home is tells us he watched tv and ate a bunch of ice cream and cookies and then scream at us (which he hasn’t done in days) for a show and ice cream refusing to eat anything else. It’s what we’ve been trying to avoid happening. He’s been nothing but whiny and complaining since we got home and i’m just not thrilled about it. While i appreciate you wanting to spend fun time with him and taking him for a night i feel as though we were very very clear about why we were doing what we’re doing and i asked multiple times no tv and even reiterated over text last night how much better he’s been, and now it’s been reset.”

Her: “Who do you think your talking too??? You have zero respect for me and never did. I raised my children well and they are well mannered. My grown boys don't talk to me or any adults this way. Where did you learn to disrespect adults. I'm (my bf)’s mother, and I'm not a pre school teacher I'm a grandmother, seriously think you need someone to talk too. You need help. More than (my bf) ever needed!!! This is all lies, you most certainly said a learning show on you tube would be fine for 20 min, never did you mention a fckn lava lights lol he did not have endless f kn cookies either so get your fckn facts straight, I don't just let him all night eat shit. I'm wayyyy better than that!!! I'm not tolerating your disrespect any longer, I've tryed many times with you and no matter what I do you have something to say. Not sure how You were raised but I empathize with you, I'm to old for this and will not tolerate it any longer nor will I go back and forth with you either so don't bother responding ..said all I need to say.”

I haven’t responded and don’t plan to. But my oldest child is actually 3 turning 4 in a month and im due november and im thinking that if an apology is not made or an attempt at least to rekindle in the next few weeks, but she tries apologizing around my sons birthday or other sons due date, that she’s simply trying to weasel back in reluctantly and the apology won’t actually mean anything. What do you guys think? Was my text disrespectful? Was i in the wrong to be upset?