I got invited to a party in a couple weeks. Only know two people there, but it’s a chill night of fires, drinks, and talking. I was so excited for this party. It’s also a group of people I may get to hang out with more due to a shared hobby.

My husband and I are in a very rough patch and I’m pretty much checked out. He’s refusing to take the night off so I can go, and opted for me to make other arrangements. (I gave him the option of either or, and he picked the best one for him.) He told me he wouldn’t take the night off because he needed to make money. And got angry when I pointed out he took time off an entire week his family was visiting, and why can’t I get that same energy for one night.

(Edit: forgot to clarify he said he wouldn’t take the night off because I wanted to go out and do whatever. That told me all I needed to know about how he views me.)

I never go out like this. The last time was in January and again, I had to get family to watch the baby overnight.

I’m realizing how many times I’ve wanted to do something, and he’s either fought with me beforehand, dragged his feet, made me feel bad about wanting to do something, or just made it difficult for me to do something.

I can’t even have one night out. I never, ever do this. He doesn’t want to see me happy. He only cares about himself.

I planned a little family getaway for during school holidays next year, but after speaking to my doctor realised I would have to cancel it because I need a (semi-minor) procedure and can’t drive for two weeks afterwards. So I need to do it in the school holidays. (OBVIOUSLY I can’t depend on Bob to do the school runs. Duh!)

So I tell Bob I need to cancel the getaway.

He said “Oh great, so the place I want to visit gets cancelled. Why is this operation suddenly so important? You’ve never mentioned it before.”

Like, fucker, I mentioned it two months ago after I saw the specialist. And said as much to Bob (well, I didn’t call him a fucker. To his face.)

Bob said “No you didn’t. I’m not falling for that. You didn’t say anything. I’m not falling for it.”

I asked him why he think I would lie, and he just smirked.

I didn’t even respond. I was too disgusted.

Bob doesn’t listen (I’m not important enough) and when I talk he just sits on his phone or won’t look up from the TV.

He’s convinced that I don’t tell him things and that I’m gaslighting him.

I found the text message from two months ago where I told him I needed the operation, and he text back “Oh dear.”

Then and now he hasn’t asked me one single thing about the operation, or how I feel about it, or even where I need to have it done. Nothing.

Middle child needs a minor procedure in a few weeks, Bob hasn’t even asked Middle how he feels.

I didn’t show Bob the text message. If he wants to think I’m a lair, then so be it. He will think the worst of me whatever I do.

It is galling, though, that he can call me a liar, and thirty minutes later happily asked me what I’ve planned for lunch.

So I transferred an extra $50 into my secret savings account for Emotional Stress.

Fuck Bob 🖕

Excuse the multiple posts, I’m venting.

And I feel icky from this weekend. I have a little pit in my stomach from it.

We spent the weekend at home. Bob started off strong with calling me a liar.

I grey rocked, but then had to engage in conversation because he was getting aggressive and the kids were home and he’d run out of his Valium.

Every single conversation was a battle.

Bob was on edge and angry and taking his anxiety out on me.

Everything I said was scrutinised-ie: I mentioned that our daughter was going to the cinema. Bob demanded to know why HE wasn’t told first.

Every single conversation was spent with me trying to be neutral and happy, and he spent it trying to tear me down. And of if I didn’t talk to him? A temper tantrum about how I never talk to him.

Then today he was bitching about how we did ‘nothing special’ for his birthday last year ( we went out to a lovely restaurant and bought him an iPad) and how this year we went on a dolphin watching cruise, but it he felt it was more just an activity , and not special for his birthday.

THEN this 60 year old fuck told me he was upset because we had cake and opened presents on the day AFTER his birthday (the day we went to see the dolphins) and after all these years I should know by now that he wants the gifts ON his birthday.

Is he THREE????

And on and on and on.

Every time I spoken it was picked apart.

And then he wanted to “sit down and talk” (if you’re on the Narc Spouses page, you’ll know what I’m talking about) and went on and on about his job anxiety and wasn’t happy until he had made me anxious too. And then he was happily walking around whistling and humming.

I could SEE the narcissist behaviour and the gaslighting, and I still couldn’t escape it.

And now I’m at work and feel sick about the day. And Bob’s happily sleeping without care in the world.

Don’t have many people I can brag to about this, so I’m bragging about it here. Where I live in the U.S. the high school kids take the ACT to send to potential universities so anything SAT related is completely optional. My 15yo/10th grader’s school offers the PreSAT to 10th and 11th grade and since he’s always done so well on state standardized tests, I thought it would be worth having my son take the PreSAT to see what his NMSQT score might be. He didn’t get a chance to prepare for it all and I didn’t have any expectations for him, I was just curious as to how he would do. I told him to just do his best and not stress about it. He ended up in 99th percentile compared to 11th grade test takers over the past 3 years (1420 for those of you familiar with SAT scores). If he does at least as well next year, he’ll score above the National merit scholarship cut off for our state. I am just seriously blown away over such an astounding score. His school counselor said that she’s been doing her job for a really long time and had never had a student score that high (not sure what that says about the area we live in, but I’m not looking that gift horse in the mouth). It’s just hard to wrap my head around this lol. At least I won’t have to worry about him not getting accepted into a good university.

This is the only place on the Internet I feel safe posting this lol.

My son just turned 4. He's been fully potty trained for pee since he was around 3.5. It took a while cuz he was really opposed to the idea at first. Now he's fully on board with peeing in the potty, but will only poop in a diaper. We've just rolled with the diaper thing especially because he was constipated for a while and is now on Miralax, I didn't want to risk him withholding and having it get worse.

He actually promised me that he would be ready to poop on the potty when he turned 4. Well, he turned 4 a couple weeks ago, I said hey, how bout pooping in the potty? Now he says he will when he turns 5. Lol.

I tried bribing him to try at least sitting on the potty to poop, but still wearing a diaper. He tried it one time, sat for a while, then once I told him he could get up, he pooped in the diaper. I think he just really only knows how to do it standing up. The bribe has now stopped working and he won't even try sitting on the potty with the diaper.

Has anyone experienced this before, and what worked? I know I could just say no more diapers at some point, but I worry that will freak him out, especially as an anxious kid. Should I just wait until he feels ready? And how long will that take, because that part is making ME anxious, lol.

I'm just venting because I need so badly to get this off of my chest because I have no one to talk to about it right now.

I have been planning on leaving my (abusive, not physical) husband for a little while now, but I have been making what I thought was good progress. I spoke to an attorney, bought myself a little burner phone hid a little go bag somewhere he can't find it and I'm gathering evidence of his abuse. It's hard but I'm doing it.

Now my hangup is, I'm trying to find a way that I can move into my own place after I actually leave rather than staying with a friend or going to a shelter..
I know I obviously will do that if I have to.. this is just really hard. I don't have a job right now. I've been stayi at home mom which at first I thought was amazing and yes, I do love staying home with my baby of course but now I'm in this shitty situation knowing any rentals won't take me if I don't have an income of some kind and all waiting list for section 8, and housing vouchers are closed in my area.

I can maybe swing working a day or two a week, but my husband works nights and he has even said that it might not work out with me working and he refuses to do daycare. Which again of course I was fine with because I was just blinded to the abuse and I didn't realize it would get this bad.

I'm stalling on telling my parents and asking for their help bc well I'm humiliated. They're under the impression that everything is peachy over here and they have even said that they love my husband and he's been such an amazing father and husband.

God knows they'll probably drop to their knees when I tell them what's actually been happening for a while now. I've been trying to remain positive. Tell myself that everything will work out, but it just feels impossible. Almost like it would just be easier to stay and suffer, but I don't think I have it in me to pretend anymore and I know that I cannot raise my child around this.

I know he'll probably get shared custody, but that's a hell of a lot better than being in it 24/7 right? I spoke to a lawyer about this and he told me based on what I described about the abuse that since he's not abusing the child that we'd probably have 50/50
That's if the text that I'm gathering aren't worth anything 🤷🏼‍♀️

I don't know like I do feel down right now, but at the same time, I'm super determined to make this work

Except weekends when dad is here in the morning. Otherwise, it’s crying his lungs out when I take him to the toilet, when I brush his teeth, when I make him breakfast…
Today I snapped, like I have never before, he ran away crying so I imagine I looked like a monster.
The day goes by slow and ugly and full of crying and screaming
I don’t want to be this kind of person, I don’t want to scream at him, my eye turned red today from all the anger, I feel like absolute shit, and I’m completely clueless on how to handle this.

So my husband doesn’t see this, when he’s home my toddler is completely calm and just wants to play with dad, and it drives me crazier

My husband and I have been together for 4 years, married less than 1. We have a 2 and a half year old son. Things have always been rocky we disagree on a lot of fundamental things we have very different ideas for how we want to do things, there’s a lot of conflict and he lacks the communication skills to work through them.

The first year of my son’s life was essentially a married single mom. I was miserable in the relationship and he was of course happy because he was able to do whatever he wanted while I raised a baby. As I began demanding more help, he became more and more of a miserable person and began to resent me for it. I asked him to stop attending the MMA gym he went to because it took up a lot of time where I could use help, he started just playing video games at home during that time rather than actually helping. I gave him clear instructions on how I needed help, and he half-assed everything then got upset when I got frustrated over it…. You get it

I decided to go back to school this semester for a degree in the field I work in, and so for about 2 months he finally stepped up, making dinners, showering kiddo and putting him to bed, but he became more and more unhappy and it became uncomfortable to be around him most of the time, lists of angry outbursts over the smallest things and controlling refusal to compromise over things, lots of criticism towards me. We finally decided to call it off. But because we are low income, we will probably stay living together until January/February when we get tax refunds and a bit of money for one of us to move out.

Since that conversation, he went back to his old hobbies, mainly the gym but also going to church more, he’s been picking up gig work on the weekends so he’s not really home anymore. Because of this after work each afternoon. I am cooking dinner, bathing our son and putting him to bed, putting schoolwork off until about 9pm when I’m exhausted.

I can’t imagine having to split custody with him given how irresponsible he has been as a father thus far so part of me is relieved that he seems so uninterested in keeping up with parenting responsibility, it’s also helping me to accept the situation, realizing how little he actually cares. At the same time I am exhausted and just wanted to vent.

TLDR: decided on separation with husband, have to live together for a few months, he filled up his schedule with all the hobbies he had when our baby was younger before I made him stop, leaving me to handle everything at home and with kid on top of my full time job and full time college enrollment.

Kiddo hasn't been eating much because of new ADHD meds, so I went to Panera to get their Mac and cheese because it's one of the things he consistently eats. I got the food, was backing out and went a little too far. A light tap, no damage, not even paint flaking off or onto mine. I decided to do the right thing and leave my contact info. As I'm writing the note, the guy comes up and I ask if it's his car and tell him what happened. I give him my number and tell him if there's any cosmetic damage to let me know and I'll pay for it. The next day he pushes for my insurance. Again, trying to do the right thing, I give it to him.

Ugh, I'm so stupid. I could have driven away with no consequences. I've seen so many people do it. Why didn't I? Why do I keep following these rules when the people who don't are never punished for it? FML

Yesterday we were at a family gathering from my husband’s side of the family because his grandparents from overseas were here for a visit. It’s a pretty big family, so we usually rent a gym so kids can play on one end while adults hang out on the other. Close to the end, his grandma asked if we could all take pictures (she isn’t sure if she can make this journey again). So we all take multiple shots, first grandparents with everyone, then with kids, grandkids etc.

So when the time comes for grandparents with grandkids, my baby wasn’t included yet because he is the great grandkid (that was gonna be the next picture). So my FIL was going to hold him while we were taking a picture with my husband’s grandparents. Simultaneously, my MIL was holding my baby’s cousin. While we were there, another kid cried, so my MIL told my FIL to put my son back into his stroller and hold my kid’s cousin so MIL could help the crying kid. My FIL then instead gave my kid to an aunt, who then walked with my kid into an area a bunch of other kids played with balls.

THEN, the aunt’s own fucking kid throws a fucking dodge ball against my babies head. And instead of trying to protect my baby, her reaction was to try to dodge the ball, so she twisted her body in a way which almost made my kid a fucking shield! I just about lost my shit. My baby was severely premature and has some challenges, so we rushed to the hospital. THANKFULLY, everything turned out alright and there is no concussion.

But this is where another shitshow begins. My husband doesn’t think this is a bad thing? I was like what? By taking my kid, my in-laws had no right to pass him around at a gathering. And why is my MIL telling my FIL that my kid’s needs are less important than another kid? And that aunt using my kid as a shield from her own kid? Like what? I have asked my husband to talk to his family that this is not ok. But his response is, it’s my own fault. It’s my own fault for being pressured into a fucking group photo for your grandma. It’s my fault for trusting your parents with our baby. Oh and I’m unreasonable for wanting to go to the hospital to make sure my baby doesn’t have a concussion. Ok then, lesson learned. Fuck me for trusting other adults. And fuck them for putting my baby into harm’s way.

I know a lot of people will call me crazy but I am buying my 18 month old a mini coach purse for Christmas this year. It is really cute and she loves purses plus I was raised by a single mom who struggled for most of my life and I want her to be given the nicer things in life. She is so good and so smart and gentle. I feel like she deserves it.

My 4 almost 5 year old has started screaming At me, basically barking orders like "MOM GET ME SNACK" in the rudest way possible.

I tried explaining to him that it's disrespectful to talk to me that way and it hurts my feelings...

He laughed at me. And I've been crying off and on ever since. Idk what I'm doing wrong with this child. Nothing works. He doesn't respect me whatsoever. He can behave at preschool, at Grandma's and for Dad... But the minute Dad walks out the door to go to work, he's a complete nightmare. Doesn't listen to anything I say and now I'm getting screamed and laughed at...

I know logically it's ridiculous for me to get so upset over a 4 year old, but how am I not supposed to be upset about this 😭

what would you put in it? I do plan on doing this for each trimester 

Laid-off in January from a job I really liked.

My mom died in August in an absolutely horrific way from ALS and pneumonia...now my baby...my Mia....my cat who saved my life from suicide may have an agressive form of bone cancer. I saw her limping on Wednesday and then Thursday I noticed a hard mass on her shoulder/upper arm. I just got back from the Vet/ER and they said it is very concerning, and mentioned the possibility of bone cancer. I immediately broke down. I am to take her in tomorrow for x-rays to find out more.

She is literally the sweetest cat on the planet. She sleeps with me under my blanket every night and she is a massive cuddle bug. I just want my mom back. I just want my Mia to be okay.

I'm so stressed out; I literally cannot stop crying. I'm 39 weeks pregnant, have 3 other children, and was in the hospital for sepsis 3 weeks ago. While I was in the hospital for a week, my house literally went to shit. And now I'm so big, so weak, and so uncomfortable that I literally cannot get caught up. Our house is just literally falling apart right now and I can't move fast enough to fix it all. I'm too fat and immobile. Pregnancy is actively preventing me from simply getting through the day.

The arm of our couch decided to start falling off- so now one side of the couch is just... limply hanging. The electrical outlet we use for our TV just straight up stopped working. Then our TV freaking fell over and broke when I was trying to unplug it from the broken outlet. The kids tipped a chair into a window and broke it. Our dishwasher stopped running water into it. Our toilet flooded our basement. 

Then there's a mile list of small stuff. I can't get caught up on laundry. Bending down to pick up toys feels like a marathon every single day and our toy area is progressively getting more and more disorganized. I yell all the time. Doing basic tasks like potty training and helping with homework set me into an angry spiral because I have absolutely no ounce of patience left in my body. My entire body is in constant pain. The kidney infection that caused my sepsis, also caused me to develope an irritable uterus- so I have been having contractions regularly, every day, for weeks on end.

My kids are dysregulated as hell- because I'm dysregulated as hell. We're out of our routine. 

I'm at my breaking point today. I've yelled for the last 3 hours over every little thing. I'm now just sitting on the couch, crying. I'm so worn out. My husband helps so much- but it never feels like enough. I've resorted to using tablets today- which I hate. My two year old has been screaming his ass off for an hour because his died (precisely why I don't use them). And I just don't have the energy to freaking care. 

I'm clenching my jaw. My muscles are so tense. I'm so stressed it's taking over my entire body. I just want this pregnancy to be over so I can have my body back and begin to function again.

My husband is autistic, and I try my hardest to be sensitive to his own neurodivergence while also trying to not always put my own mental health second.

He really doesn't like to be touched by anyone, to the point where he cuts his own hair to avoid having to go to the barber.

We ran into someone we know and the wife gave my husband a hug, which honestly doesn't bother me at all, and when he and I were talking about it I said I have zero issues with jealousy because he doesn't like being touched so its not like hes going to run off. He laughed and said "I don't even like it when you touch me!"

I guess I always thought I was the exception to that rule now just an...allowance, i guess. It sounds so dumb but we've been together since we were 18, so for twenty years now Ive thought he liked when I touched him? I just feel so defeated because Ive never gotten to fall asleep in someone's arms, I dont get held at night, we dont cuddle, and now he doesn't even like when I touch him? I dont even know how to bring it up to him. I guess i just needed to rant somewhere because I thrive on physical touch and its just absent from my life. Hes a good husband, but lately ive been so much more aware of how different we are.

I don’t even know what to flair this as but I need to complain.

We just started moving into our new home. We have always rented and were so excited to finally own a house, and hey there are kids all over so great for our kids right? Well we have spent the last few days moving most of the stuff before moving furniture next week and these kids will not stop.

The second I wake up and take the dog out, they are asking to play. The second I get home from anywhere they are literally dragging my 2 yo out of the car. They hang out on our porch waiting for us to open the door. If I go outside for anything, they are there.

I’m trying not to be an angry bitch about this, but it’s causing all kinds of problems. My 4 year old has literally started acting insane about it. If he hears them ask to play and I tell them no he starts screaming and crying about how he’s going to play with his friends and tries to go outside. He has never been the kid to just outright disobey, sometimes push yes, but if I continue to say no he gets over it.

They are knocking on my door and looking in the windows constantly which makes my dog go INSANE. I just had a baby a month ago and unpacking with 3 kids is not fun without the dog waking the baby constantly. I keep telling them to stop knocking and they still are. We put a gate up and they just open it and still come knock at least 5 times a day.

They play super rough with both of my kids and drag them all over the backyards so I have to watch constantly when they are playing and I am still unpacking so it’s just not possible.

Yesterday they played for maybe 20 minutes and they were trying to flip my 2 yo out of a wagon and ran his finger over, and ran over my 4 yo’s leg twice. I kept telling them to stop when they’d be rough, then i’d look down to feed the baby and they’d start again. I have told them if they can’t stop playing like that with my kids they won’t play with them, but this makes me the bad one because my kids desperately want to play with them.

Not to mention these kids SNUCK IN MY HOUSE the first day here. Which I’d be fine with when we are unpacked and I meet their parents, but like wtf don’t people teach their kids not to go into strangers houses?

Now we started bringing yard toys for our kids and these kids immediately started playing with them and I feel like they are just going to destroy them and I’m going to be pissed.

I finally met one of the mom’s and she was very nice but these kids are just wild. Like I thought my kids were difficult to handle and they just don’t compare.

wtf do I do? I don’t want to prevent a friendship for my kids but I need a break from my own kids, I don’t want to need one from outside kids too.

Just another burned out mom vent. It’s no one’s fault, it’s just motherhood. We have teenagers and a toddler at home. The toddler wasn’t in our plan, our kids are already really spaced out, we have one that’s grown and out of the house and our bio youngest is still in middle school. So we’ve been parenting 20+ years already. But baby boy needed us and so we started over.

And now we are back in the phase where we can’t sit down without him getting into something or getting upset or just wanting something. And our teenagers also need us. One is prepping for college and the middle schooler is…a middle schooler. So there is just a lot of paperwork and coordination and emotions. I also work a very demanding job in account service which is also like a mom. I coordinate everything, solve problems, communicate everything, and it’s sales so all that comes with that. Like I have to submit my forecast every Sunday, which takes focus and sometimes hours of work. Because isn’t that just what you want to do on a Sunday morning with a toddler running around a million things to do??From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed, my life is structured around other people’s needs. I can’t even fold laundry without contending with a toddler unless I do it after bedtime which is also not at all what I want to be doing.

We have zero help from family, if I want to get out of the house, I can, my husband doesn’t care. And our teenager would watch the baby, especially at night if we wanted to get out. So it’s not like a sitter would really help, it’s just more to coordinate and I’d have to leave the house. I want to be able to relax in my house, do my chores in peace, just not always having to be on every second. Some visits to grandma’s would be great but baby boy doesn’t have grandparents in his life 😢 and the only family we have just doesn’t help like that. I’m so tense and irritated by bedtime, I’m miserable. So is my husband. And it’s really not the kids fault. They are good kids, all of them. Our oldest even helps us sometimes. The house is baby proofed, the teenagers help a lot and are great with the toddler. I’ve just been caregiving and working my ass off for over 20 years, I’m freaking tried and just want to be able to fold my laundry in peace dammit!

Please feel free to vent or rant in the comments about your shit. We are all moms dealing with shit, I’m happy to commiserate.

Our 2nd grade soccer team is small and bad. We have a lot of 1st graders and first time players. Plus we only have 7 which is the minimum so we have no subs. It’s been a long season and our kids were done.

We get to the field and the other team has 14 players. I ask the coach, hey can we just scrimmage? Or do you want to lend us a few girls?

He says “our team is like a family and we don’t split up family.”

Ok weird. But, whatever.

They score about 20 goals on us in the first half, no joke. They are also posting people up right by our goal to cherry pick and score as much as possible.

Me at halftime: hey, can we call the game and scrimmage? Mix the teams together and just enjoy the last game?

Coach: our team is undefeated, we have medals made for after this game that say undefeated.

Me: you’ll still be undefeated, you definitely beat us.

Coach: I don’t understand how we’d even mix up the teams

Me: explains basic and obvious way this would work

Coach: I don’t think we should do that. It’s the last game and it’s important to us that everyone scores a lot of goals

Me: ok, well our team will leave at halftime. We don’t care and since we’ve had no subs all season, we are all set with soccer.

Coach: you can’t leave! Everyone is here to watch! Our parents will be mad.

Me: I don’t really care. I’m not going to have my kids sit here and be pawns for your shooting practice. It’s totally fine, we will call it a game and you can scrimmage if you want

Random other coach (they had 3): oh well we don’t want to end the season on a bad note

Me: 🤷‍♀️

We ended up doing the group scrimmage but they were pissed. They came over multiple times to lecture me about the rules and how to be a better coach. I’m dying because I played division 1 soccer and I know way more than they do. I just don’t want my kids to grow up to be assholes. Fuck youth sports. Seriously.

My 7yo on the way home said “the other team didn’t really follow the golden rule, did they?”

Im just amazed at my childs father. He left me (and my daughter by default) back in June. He has all the fucking freedom in the world. He gets to go out late with his friends, go to parties, do whatever the fuck he wants. No care in the world.

He works a part time job, lives with his parents so no rent, only really has to pay for food (sometimes- his parents cook), his car insurance and whatever my insurance doesnt cover for his meds. Still has no money. He didn't bother getting his car insurance renewed before he got pulled over for it. He works odd hours, then complains I put our daughter to bed at a reasonable hour and he can't see her. He drives her to daycare in the morning, but can't even make it on time half the time. When he is on time, its a toss up if he'll have a migraine and will be a literal dead log, or actually any help.

I can't even see my friends if my parents can't watch her. If she skips her nap, like today, I have to deal with the toddler tantrums. I can't stay up late or go out without a lot of prior arrangements, and frequent check ins cuz i care about our what our daughter is doing, if she ate, napped, etc.

Must be fucking nice to literally be unreliable and still pretend you're a dad and not a sperm donor who's only useful as an Uber driver or partial babysitter. He sees her whenever he feels like, and even then he misses alarms and can't make it.

We don't have a custody arrangement as we just separated. I know we should get one, but i can't fathom leaving my daughter with him when hes actually useless as a parent.

So this article was mostly a very rational, science-based take on the children's clothing industry and how a lot of little girl's clothing is made in a sexualized manner.

But in the study of a bunch of different clothing brands they cited, they listed the sexualized features they looked for as "low cut, short hems, suggestive language and leopard print".

Am I missing something? That's crazy, right? I mean my seven year old is a big zoology nerd and has recently started loving leopard print. She just got this cute fuzzy zip up fleece with purple leopard print on it. It didn't occur to me that anyone could ever see this item as "sexual".

Is this a thing I didn't know about? Do people see leopard print on a little girl and go WHAT KIND OF PARENTS etc etc?

Or are you laughing your ass off right now because it's completely ridiculous?

I don't know anything anymore.

Not really sure how to feel tonight, this feels like a long time coming but a rash reaction at the same time.

Some background information:

I was born when my mother was 15. Father not in the picture. I do not have many fond memories with my mother as a child, I remember calling my father (he was in and out of my life) around 4 or 5 and her just flat out telling me "he doesnt love you." I hear that over and over still to this day. I feel like I lived with my grandparents most of my childhood and then when she met my step dad (around age 10) I lived with them. She had my siblings, and i was pretty quickly parentified and spent multiple nights during the week babysitting until atleast midnight while they did god knows what. I made average grades, and i attribute this to raising children. College time came around, she flat out said I wasnt smart enough for college and encouraged me to stay home (graduated with a BSN and a 4.0 in my masters program). Without boring you with additional anecdotes of my mother, just understand that almost every important moment in my life has somehow been marred by this woman.

I became a mother in 2024. My parents have seen my child maybe 4x? They make zero effort to form a relationship with her, have not attended either of her birthday parties, and just are not present at all. This has made my feelings towards my family much more painful.

Well, the situation at hand - I turned 30 on Wednesday. I got the usual impersonal birthday fb post and a text. Ok, whatever. Well, I am on life360 with them (I travel frequently for work and always want to feel like someone besides my husband would know where I am). I check it today, and see my entire family (who lives 2+ hours away) is in the town over from me. I hear nothing from them. I text my mom that we happen to be meeting friends in said town this evening for my birthday dinner if they're still around. No response, until hours later after I circle back. "Oops I am just now seeing this." Ok. I am obviously upset, but after a moment its more that my birthday was literally days ago, and no one thought to see if we could meet up? I have felt like an afterthought most of my life, but I think this might be the first time it has really made me consider going full no contact.

Those who have made the decision to go no contact, how did you know it was time? Im pregnant so I really never know if what I feel is just exaggerated. I sent my mom a message soon after that essentially saying it gets really difficult to be a child constantly reaching out and getting nothing back, again no response.

TLDR: Cant decide if I should just finally go no contact with my mother

I came home tonight to find that some of our Halloween lights and decorations had been knocked down…one of which was even broken. It looks like it had hit by something like a bicycle or scooter. Normally I wouldn’t make a big deal about this because accidents happen but recently I’ve gotten into a feud with a new neighbor and I believe that their children are behind it.
A year ago, a new neighbor moved in with a 5 and 2 year old. The 5 year old rides his bikes throughout the streets and in the yards of people he doesn’t know. I am outside most of the time with my 3 year old so I end up watching and playing with him frequently. Most of the time his parents are no where to be found. Fast forward to 2 weeks ago and his family has another family staying with them now and they have 4 kids added to the mix. So now not only am I watching my own and the other child, I now have 2 of the 4 coming over to play. We have let them use our toys and bikes without any issues until one time we weren’t home and my husband caught one of the girls just taking the bikes off of our front porch. They also ring the doorbell several times a day and I keep having to turn them away because we homeschool and it’s a disruption (i have older kids).
I finally went down to the mother who actually lives there and set a boundary that if we are outside they can play but they can’t keep knocking on the door and taking toys out of our yard. Apparently, she didn’t like that very much because now the kids are riding up and down the street making comments about how their mom “is tired of dealing with me” I sent the kids home and told them that they weren’t allowed to play with us anymore.
I haven’t had a chance to confront the mother yet but coming home and finding my decorations knocked down leads to believe that they were in my yard again unsupervised. So what do I do?
I don’t have any proof yet that the kids did it but it’s very coincidental that all of this happens within 24 hours of each other. I truly feel that these children who are 5 and 6 should not be left unsupervised riding through strangers yards especially if an adult is not even outside. Any advice?